working parents

Loren W. works from 8 to 5, Monday through Friday, and doesn't get home until around 5:30 p.m. on a good day. "I feel like a terrible mom," says this Circle of Moms member, and she's far from alone. As the ensuring dscussion reveals, when you're a working mom with a full time job outside the home, worrying that you're neglecting your kids, goes with the territory.

How can working moms find quality time to spend with their kids and alleviate these anxious feeings? Here are five tips shared by busy moms in our communities.

1. Ignore the Housework

Mom Jennifer M. admits she struggles with finding time to spend with the kids while taking care of house necessities like grocery shopping, making meals, laundry, dishes, etc. She has finally decided to let the housework go so that she can instead concentrate on her children.

She's among many moms reporting that while they don't let their homes get completely filthy, they do spend less time on housework than they used to.

"As with many mothers, I feel it's more important to spend time with my children rather than making sure the house is spotless," says Kennie K., who works as a full-time nurse practitioner. "The laundry may go undone for a few days, but I usually do [it] after my children are in bed. Same goes for cleaning the house. My house may not be spotless but it is clean, and my children are happy and I get to spend more quality time with them."

Brandy T. admits it's been difficult to relax her standards for cleanlinesss, but worth it: "[I'd] rather have dishes in the sink and happy, content, kids that feel and know they're loved than no dishes in my sink. I figure I'll have all the time in the world to do the chores when they don't want to hang out with mom. But for now, it's all about spending after school time with the kids."

To make chores less cumbersome, Kate C. breaks up cleaning to one room per day. She gets up at 5 a.m. to dust and clean the floors in one room of her house each day. "This way, when I get home from work and day care with my son, all I do is pop dinner in the oven [and] we have family time while waiting for dinner to cook," she says.

2. Let Kids Help With Chores

When chores can't be neglected, members recommend enlisting your child's help. Anne B. has her children help with dinner prep and dishes. "When you have little time together, even chores can be made special," she says.

Eileen L. and her children fold laundry together and use the time to chat about what's going on in their lives and their day at school. A member named Mylene says her son helps to do the laundry and empty and fill the dishwasher. "Even grocery shopping is a family outing. Spending time as a family doesn’t mean it needs to be complicated," she shares. Lisa M. adds that her daughter loves to hold the dustpan and help gather up the trash.

If you have the time and patience to cook with your kids, many moms report that it's an especially fun way to get things done with spending quality time with your kids. Linda W. says her eight-year-old daughter loves making dinner with mom, and as a bonus learns math and life skills in the process. "We get a chance to talk and laugh," she says. "If she has homework, she does it while I'm cooking. It's hard to be a working mom, but the more you involve your kids with what you're doing, you'll be surprised how much fun they and you will have. You'll be teaching them something and they'll be learning something without knowing!"

Even younger children, like Dora L.’s three-year-old son, can have fun stirring and adding ingredients to the family’s meals, and then washing dishes. "I will wash everything first and then ask him to help me scrub with lots of bubbles (of course) and rinse," she says. "Just try to make the chores fun. It also helps teach children responsibility."

If your children are too young to help with chores, then Leanne P. says you can sing songs and nursery rhymes while you go about your business so they feel they're getting all the attention and can join in.

3. Run Errands During Work Hours

To help get chores out of the way before it’s time to be with the children, some moms say they take care of errands during their lunch hours.

Mom Tina B., for example, says she has a 50-mile commute each way to and from work. She has invested in thermal grocery bags and does her shopping during her lunch. This way she can reserve the time after work and school, between 4:30 and 7 p.m., for playtime with her daughter.

In addition to running errands during lunch, Anna S. does housework before her son wakes up and she has to go to work. "Then when I get home, I spend the evening with my son. We have dinner, play, read books, and get ready for bed. Once he is in bed, [I] spend another hour cleaning, then finally go to bed."

4. Outsource

Another option is to outsource time-consuming tasks. A member named Valerie splits housework with her husband, but they also recently hired a cleaning person to eliminate some of their chores. "I felt guilty at first about spending the money, but it really frees me up to spend time with my family," she says.

Candi W. says a nanny can help tremendously — not only with childcare, but also with light housekeeping, laundry, starting the evening meal, and getting kids started on homework. "When you return home from work, you can sit down and enjoy time with your family and not have to worry about the little things," she says.

5. Schedule Family Time

With all the household tasks out of the way, moms suggest scheduling family time. Anne B. says she moved her children’s bedtimes back an hour so that they could spend time playing board games or reading together. 

Bonnie S. puts her younger son down for bed and then squeezes in special time with her three-year-old for movie night. "He loves cuddling on the couch with mom and dad enjoying a late night. He also loves that his little brother isn't 'big enough' to do movie night so he stays sleeping upstairs. It's special time for all of us, and my husband and I have just as much fun as he does."

Instead of just dropping off her son at his extracurricular activities, Teresa W. gets involved; she is the den leader for his cub scout group and is involved in the kids' program at their church. "My house is always on the brink of chaos," she says. "But my son and I have a great relationship, and we spend a lot of time together.

However you choose to schedule in time with your children, experienced working moms say to make the minutes count.

"It's not how much time you spend with your child that counts, it is the quality that counts," says Florencetine P. "I am sure if anyone asked [your daughter] about the time you and [she] spend together, her answer would go something like this: 'We had a good time when she read to me before I went to bed, she splashed water all over [herself] when she gave me a bath. It was fun.' Things like these, even a walk to the store or around the block, just the two of you [are] the little things that count."

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

On my way to work this morning, a little orange light shaped like a wrench went on in my dashboard.  I looked down and saw "15% OIL LIFE."

New to the area and without any idea where to go to deal with the orange wrench, I picked up my phone and told a certain "intelligent personal assistant" — let's call her "Weary" — that I needed an oil change. 

About forty-five seconds later, she replied, "I'm really sorry about this, but I can't take any requests right now."

Normally when she says something like that I throw down the phone and let out a dramatic harumph. Today, I kept the phone in my hand and said, "What is wrong with you? Why are you always so awful?"

Weary "thought" and then responded, "After all I've done for you?"

I yelled at Weary for the next half-mile. Something like: "What the *@#$ is going on here? I cannot believe you are always so @#*(ing terrible at answering my #@($#@! questions. And now you have the nerve to imply that you have actually done anything for me?!? You are the $#@*ing worst!"

Weary "thought" again and asked if I would like her to search 'What the *@#$ is going on here? I cannot believe you are always so @#*(ing terrible at answering my #@($#@! questions. And now you have the nerve to imply that you have actually done anything for me?!? You are the $#@*ing worst!' on the web.

I turned the phone off, and I realized that my little outburst was a sign that the last two weeks have taken a toll.  My three-year-old was sick last week, and I took off three days from work to be home with him. This past weekend, a college friend of my husband's passed away unexpectedly. This week, I got whatever my three-year-old had and had to take off two days from work. Also this week, my one-year-old got conjunctivitis. For the last two days, my husband has been out of the state to attend his friend's funeral. Today, daycare called, and I had to leave work early to get my one-year-old for his eye.

Through all of this, I have been thinking of a few very dear friends who have been going through much worse and for longer (some for much longer), and I told myself to keep perspective.

But today, when the orange wrench lit up and Weary couldn't point me to the freaking oil change station, I lost all perspective. The orange wrench became everything that had caused stress, pain, or anxiety in my family, and Weary's inability to help me amplified such a feeling of helplessness that I may have gone a little bonkers.

Now, having calmed down a bit, with my munchkins in bed (for now, at least) and my husband due home from the airport before midnight, I am regaining my perspective, and I begrudgingly have to thank Weary. She may be unavailable to help get my oil changed, but she let me take everything out on her and I don't have to worry about hurting her feelings ... because she is, after all, just talking software.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

One of the toughest moments for working moms is the call from the school that your child is sick, says Circle of Moms member Aleid B. She cringes when she gets the call, because "I am always the one to drop work and go there."

How do other moms handle it when their child gets sick and needs to miss school or daycare? Here are three approaches to negotiating a solution that's workable for your whole family, as shared by Circle of Moms members.

Decide Based on Who Can Leave Work Most Easily

In many families where both parents work full time, deciding who stays home with a sick child involves weighing the parents' relative job benefits, including the terms of their compensation, paid time off, flexibility, commuting times, and job security. As Jenn M. explains, while it can make sense for the parent who makes less to take the day off, "you could have a job that makes it harder to get time off," in which case the tables might be turned.

Members Krista E. and Laura S. are the "first responders" in their respective families. In Krista's case, the fact that she has more flexibility at her job makes it "pretty obvious" who's going to stay home when her son is sick. Her husband, who is a stonecutter, can't work at home and doesn't get any paid sick time, so if he doesn't go to work, he doesn't get paid. In contrast, she works for an organization "that gives me five paid sick days, five paid personal days, and plus, due to the nature of my work, I can work from home if needed."

Melissa R. and her husband try to split sick day childcare. In their case, her husband tends to stay home more because she's a teacher and taking a sick day entails preparing a lesson plan for a sub. She's also saving up her limited sick days "for when we decide to have more children."

For Laura's family, while the decision mostly comes down to protecting the higher salary, there's also the consideration that she's more patient with a sick and cranky child: "My husband makes a lot more money, and he gets paid a percentage of what he bills out so if he doesn't work he doesn't get paid as much. Plus, he doesn't handle sick kids very well."

Create a Plan to Share the Responsibility

Some Circle of Moms members say that sharing the responsibility equally makes the most sense, although this doesn't always translate into something as simple as taking turns. Aleid B. explains: "I usually am the one who picks him up because I am only 30 minutes away, but when there's a longer duration sickness (like flu or ear infections), we take days in turn or we ask our babysitter to come for the day."

A mom named Jodi explains yet another variation on a shared system: "I work from home, so if the kids are sick, I take care of them because I can do this and juggle work too. However, my husband will try to come home early from work so that I can go and get a nap if I need to (if it was a rough night the night before). Or he comes home early to help me get other things done."

Work Out Alternative Solutions 

Krista M. and her husband had to create a backup plan since it’s very difficult for either of them to miss work. When the school nurse calls, they call on Krista M.'s mom. "We’re lucky to have my mom in town, so she can often watch our son," she says. As mentioned earlier, Aleid and her husband sometimes rely on a babysitter who is willing to come in a pinch and care for a sick child.

Finally, Jennifer A. suggests a little caution before fleeing your workplace to rescue a sick child. She recommends asking the nurse some probing questions to assess how sick your child really is. She learned this the hard way after leaving work for the day several times only to get her daughter home and discover that her complaints were a ploy to leave school early. "My nine-year-old calls me two or three times a week (from the nurse’s office) with a tummy ache. She's done this so many times [that] I don't believe her anymore."

What do you do when the school nurse calls and you are at work?

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Is your toddler entering a structured childcare program for the first time? The transition from being home with mom or another family member to being in a daycare setting can be traumatic for a toddler, even when the caregivers are top notch and the environment is loving. To help your toddler (and you!) with the transition, Circle of Moms members share five tips on starting daycare on the right foot.

1. Ease into it.

A slow, part time introduction to the daycare or preschool environment works best for many kids. Lisa S. believes that "preparation goes a long way to easing a child's concerns" and shares that a 3 day per week structured program was the right approach for her daughter. Laurieann P. also feels that some toddlers are not  "emotionally ready" for full-time care and will be happier starting the process "2 days a week to ease into it."

Jenn H. has two daughters and went through an adjustment period with both of them starting preschool during their toddler years. She enrolled them in a program known for "its loving, sweet teachers and atmosphere" and that she describes as "Mothers' Day Out twice a week for five hours each day" and found it to be a very positive way to transition them into school.

2. Set a positive tone.

Your own attitude can do a lot to set the stage for your toddler. Julie S. warns moms to be careful about transferring anxiety onto kids: "Make sure that you are not sharing any anxiety that you feel onto her. She picks [it] up — if Mommy is unsure than she will be."

Your excitement and positive energy about the school is important, as well as with your child's teachers. Melanie C. believes toddlers pick up on how you feel about the teachers when they see you interact: "Try and develop a friendship with her teachers, which ultimately your daughter [will] see and hopefully will try to mimic."

Erin H. is adamant that when it comes to starting daycare, what you say and how you say it really matters: "DO NOT say you will miss her. She will feel bad that you are missing her. Just show her you are happy for her and confident in the situation."

3. Don't linger.

An overwhelming number of both moms and childcare providers who weigh in on this this topic say it's best to establish a simple, quick routine at drop-off time. Veronica D. recommends that you "make your goodbyes quick even if she's crying and yelling... It may sound clinical, perhaps even cold, but lingering to try and quell her sadness and fears makes it worse."

Diana M. went through a tough transition with her daughter when she was 2 years old, from staying with a family friend into structured daycare. Her advice on the drop-off is to make it quick: "When you drop her off in the morning don't linger... Give her a kiss and a hug, tell her you love her, but do not cling."

4. Leave a comfort item.

If your daycare allows it, Circle of Moms members suggest giving your child a comfort object to help them during moments of separation anxiety. Moira, a teacher and mom who has gone through this transition many times with many kids, suggests "something of yours (example a scarf, jewellery)," plus telling your child "she can keep it safe for you until you get back to pick her up." This helps children trust and remember "that you will always come back to get her."

Diana M. created a comfort item with even more of a connection for her daughter, a laminated picture of herself and her daughter together: "She carried that picture in her bag for two years, but it having it made her feel better."

Comfort items don't necessarily have to be visual. Missy K. found that an audio reminder worked best for her daughter when she started preschool: "I also took her to Build-a-bear and we made a bear of her choice and I recorded my voice 'Chloe, Mommy Loves you have a great day!' and that was her animal friend at school..."

5. When they cry...

Even with the best preparation, your child is likely to be upset, at least in the beginning, when you leave him at daycare. This can be a heart-wrenching time of separation anxiety for you and your child, as plenty of moms will vouch. Emma B., whose mother runs a preschool, says that she believes about 75% of kids "put on the tears for Mum at drop off time," but that most are fine within minutes: "Its normally about boundaries and trying to get their own way, and sometimes a little anxiety."

If your child cries at drop-off time, it's a good idea to ask the teacher how long he cries after you leave. Carol W. felt much better after talking to her daughter's preschool teachers about how the rest of the day went: "It broke my heart to leave her. However, she was always smiling when I picked her up. The teachers told me she'd cry for five or ten minutes after I left, then she was fine. The teachers told me that some kids cry just in front of their mothers, thinking mom will change her mind about leaving. As soon as Mom is gone, the crying stops."

Overall, moms suggest talking and patience as you help your toddler through a major change such as starting daycare. Christine W. advises asking your toddler a variety of questions to try to get her talking about her day: try to find out what she might be worried about, what she is excited about, and what happens at school: "Keep the lines of communication open. Let your child know that she can always talk to you, no matter what. It's not always necessary even to have solutions to her problems. Sometimes just talking about things out loud with a trusted adult makes them seem less threatening. And if the situation does become overwhelming for your child, you want to be the first to know about it."

For more tips on handling separation anxiety, see 5 Tips for Easing Your Baby's Separation Anxiety.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Making the decision to put your child in daycare is never easy, but knowing what to look for in a daycare can make a tough situation a little bit easier. Here’s a checklist of factors that Circle of Moms members recommend considering, and why.

1. Were you asked to make an appointment to tour the facility or did you feel encouraged to drop by any time?

Though an appointment might mean they wanted to have extra staff on hand for your tour, you want your child at a facility with an open-door policy. As mom Hanna P. mentions, dropping in at time when it’s usually just kids and staff there can help you “catch” if something out of the ordinary is going on.

2. Did someone check your ID when you came into the building? 

One of the questions on mom Sharon L.’s list is “Do you check ID of the person picking up my child if they are not on my approval list?” If you, an unknown person (potential client or not) were not asked to provide ID, it’s a sign that they may not be strict about asking for identification when someone else picks up your child.

3. Is the daycare’s license posted somewhere visible? 

Circle of Moms member Sam C. advises to “make sure that [daycare centers] have all the necessary licensing and accreditation requirements.” You can double check the requirements on your state’s Health and Human Services website. If the center doesn’t have their license available to be examined, don’t hesitate to ask.

4. What policies are in place regarding immunizations, sick children and accident/incident reports?

Member Chelsea R. mentioned her concern that her choice not to vaccinate her child might limit her choices in daycare providers. It’s a valid concern — most daycare centers require proof of immunization before enrollment in order to be compliant with licensing. Asking gives parents on both sides of the vaccination debate a better idea of the policy. While you’re at it, find out the daycare's policy on bringing in sick kids, and what happens in case of an accident or a child-to-child skirmish.

5. What are the staff’s credentials? 

Mom Kate C. suggests you ask “What are the teachers qualifications and how often do the head teachers change? “A high turnover rate can be detrimental to your child’s sense of security, so it's important to know if there's frequent change. In terms of qualifications, ask if staff is First Aid and CPR certified, confirm that employees undergo background checks and that there is at least one teacher per age group with a degree in Early Childhood Education or a comparable program.

6. How does staff interact with the kids?

Observe the staff to see if they talk to the children, listen to them and lead age-appropriate activities. You don’t want to see, as mom Lisa C. puts it, “staff just talking amongst themselves.” Like mom Robin M., you do want to make sure your provider gives your child one-on-one attention and affection.

7. What’s the adult to child ratio?

Several moms mention that a low staff to child ratio is important. The younger the children, the more staff there should be.

8. Is the physical environment safe?

If you have a mischievous child like member Hope L., whose son kept getting out of the classroom at his daycare, this is especially important. For starters, look around for gates, smoke alarms, outlet covers, cupboard locks and corner covers.

9. How clean is the place?

Mom Jenny B. summed this up in three words, “Clean, clean, clean!” Ask how often toys and surfaces are cleaned and with what solution. A diluted bleach solution or a green, non-toxic alternative are both good.

10. What are the hours?

You could find the best daycare in the world, but if they don’t work within the hours you need, you’re out of luck. Ask how flexible the hours are, whether they take part-time enrollment and what the holiday/vacation schedule looks like.

Above all, don't underestimate your intuition. If something seems “off” pay attention to that feeling. Your child needs to be happy, but you do, too.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Unlike where I grew up, I now live in a town that has many new military families move here every year.  Some are stationed for a few years, but many are here for a mere 10 or 11 months.

During the last two years I have had the privilege to make some new friends as I've gotten to know several of these families.  The moms are the parents of my children's friends and most are here because their husbands are in the military. 

I have been SO inspired by these incredible women — their flexibility, their bravery, their loyalty, their commitment, their toughness, and their overall wow-factor — that I feel compelled to share some stories here with everyone at Circle of Moms.

I've learned so much from these women and their friendships. They each inspire me with their own unique story and they each have taught me priceless life lessons. And perhaps, most of all, as I was just telling one of my friends – they have brought a new sense of patriotism and pride to my life. Of course, I've always felt the joy and gifts and pride of being an American. But it's the personal stories of these men, women, children and families (including pets) that have influenced me so much and made me feel pure awe when I think about the commitment to our country and our citizens that these families make.

Since I'm a mom and a blogger, dedicating a post to these friends and what they've taught me feels like  a small, humble but truly heartfelt and personal way for me to say thank you.

1. Packing Pros

I'm in awe of your ability to pack, unpack, pack again, relocate, put in storage, move, and of course travel. You bring a natural ease to situations that I'm sure I'd crumble in — like evacuating Japan because of the earthquake or suddenly finding out you are going to live in Guam. You always know where your important papers are and you have your family heirlooms ready to go in an instant.

2. Home Sweet Home

The Moms I've met transform their temporary housing into incredibly warm and personal HOMES. Regardless of children, pets, and the fact that your posessions are stuck in storage, you ladies manage to decorate and create beautiful spaces that are better than most home makeover "reveals;" meanwhile, ten years after moving in I still haven't hung pictures or curtains in my house!

3. Calm, Cool, and Collected

So many of my new mom friends have to face challenges in new communities including: new schools, new friends, new towns, new communities. And so many of these ladies do it alone because their spouses are deployed. Whether it's lost luggage or helping children navigate new friendships and activies, these incredible moms are unruffled (at least on the outside).  The lessons they give their children by being calm and reliable and leaders are true gifts.  I've thought about modeling this behavior many times because it's a lesson in dealing with life's curve-balls for all of us.

4. Instant Friendships

Many of the families have a short stay in our area and a short assignment, which means getting down to the business of making friends ASAP — for the moms, dads and children. It's so refreshing to meet new friends and to see my children meet wonderful new friends quickly and effortlessly. The fun starts immediately and when the families move it's very sad, but it's created opportunities for pen pals and email buddies. And so, a new lesson I've learned: if you like someone or your child likes a new friend, just go for it! 

5. The Members of America's Armed Forces Rock!

As often as possible, I express gratitude and admiration out loud to my new military pals — thanking the men and women for their sacrifices and dedication to our country, raving to the children about their awesome parents and generally offering as much praise and thanks and recognition as I can without sounding like a huge nerd!

So much of my writing is about celebrating the unexpected and sharing daily gratitude. This post is my love letter to the great American families I've met — the mothers, fathers, children, and even pets. These amazing people are my neighbors, church community, friends, babysitters, and most of all, teachers. I feel so lucky that even as an adult, grown-up (sometimes!) mom of twins, I still get to learn and grow and evolve — sometimes when I least expect it.

Here's to my own real-life circle of moms growing and growing!

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

If you are a working mom then you know getting out the door some mornings can send you over the edge. I’m talking restraining jacket at the loony bin.

Getting myself and three small kids ready and on our way all before the sun rises each day is a major feat, and doing it with ease is difficult. But when I follow the five tips below, my mornings run like a well-oiled machine.

1. Plan ahead. Pick out your clothes, pack lunches, and set out anything you need to take with you the night before. Including the plethora of cars, backpacks, blankies, and other junk your kids are attached to that week.
2. Cartoons are your friend. Honestly, a little Blues Clues or Dora first thing in the morning is not going to make or break your kids.
3. Feed the piggies! Have a bowl of dry cereal and a cup of milk waiting for when they wake up, an early morning snack can be a much needed distraction when rushing to get your make-up on and hair done.
4. Let it go. Do you need to make the bed every morning? Does the sink need to be clear of all dirty dishes before you walk out the door? Probably not. Learning to let go of the little things will go a long way at six in the morning.
5. If all else fails. Well, if all else fails, set the alarm for 4 a.m. and pray the kids don’t wake while you get ready in the peace & quiet. Just be ready to crash the minute you walk in the door at the end of your very long day.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Like most moms. Circle of Moms member Vicky C. faces constant demands, endless to-do lists, and not enough hours in the day to get it all done. No wonder she says she feels constantly exhausted and "can't catch a breath.”  But instead of chugging a hit of coffee in the afternoon, she slips away from her desk, heads for her car, and drives around the block from her office for a quick 20-minute nap! “I just drive around the corner and sleep in the back seat,” she says.”I found that I come back to work totally refreshed.”

Need a pick-me-up most afternoons? Feel like you’re exhausted and stressed?  Can’t keep your eyes open anymore? A two-hour siesta may not fit into your busy schedule, but that doesn't mean you can't grab a 15-minute power nap like Vicky. Here, Circle of Moms members share five strategies for resting and recharging during daytime hours.

1. Nap at Work — Really

Vicky's not the only mom whose found that the only way she can find time to rest and recharge is to schedule it into her daily planner. Gina K. counts on her commuting time on the train to sneak in a few zzz’s. She sneaks away from work early to “rest a little on the train, and maybe even stop on the way home for a coffee and a quick few pages in my book.”

2. Nap After Work

Jenette T. also schedules a daily snooze into her work-life routine, but she grabs it at home. She keeps her nanny on duty and heads straight from her commute to her bedroom. “I get to work early and leave early so I can take a nap after work nearly every day. Then I can handle my evening family shift. It really helps.”

Amber B. also squeezes in a quick nap between work and family time while her husband is still on childcare duty. “If I’ve had a stressful day, I will take a long hot shower then I just go into my bedroom and close the door. I plug my headphones into my laptop and get lost in music.”

3. Call in a “Nap” Babysitter

When she is super pooped and needs to catch a quick nap, Susan T. hires a babysitter so she can squeeze in a nap. “You have to make break time for yourself,” she insists. “Don’t forget to breathe and take care of you. I remember telling my girls that I needed quiet time, and they could play quietly in their rooms. That worked fairly well. But hiring a sitter or swapping sitting time with another mom also is a good option.”

Circle of Mom member Loreen K. has worked out a plan with her husband, sending him to the park with their son for a quick nap on weekends. “In our household we equally deserve a rest,” she says. “I work all day chasing Cooper around, cleaning and cooking. But Jamie works all day and when he is home he is a very hands-on dad. He will happily cook dinner if I’m too tired (I’m pregnant as well). We also take turns in having sleep-ins, too. And if I need a nap during the day, he will take Cooper to the park or outside to play. I have it pretty good actually and I always offer the same to him when he needs a break.”

4. Nap at the Salon or Manicurist's

Quite a few Circle of Moms say they sneak a few moments of shut-eye when getting their hair or nails done, or even when lying on a tanning bed.  “When I have had a stressful day, I like to go to the tanning salon,” says Nikki R. “Fifteen minutes in the bed gives me some me time to clear my head and think of nothing for those 15 minutes. Now I am ready to go back and tackle what needs to be with a clear mind.”

5. Sleep When Your Child Sleeps

For Becky H. a nap with her child is daily routine: “I usually lie down and relax, although rarely sleep, when Sasha (16 months) has her nap. But 'Sleep when the baby sleeps' is not only good advice for new moms, it's a good practice well beyond your baby's first year. As Jenn H. shares, “To this day, if my four-year-old lays down for a nap, I will make myself lay with her, even if it is only 20 minutes. I feel refreshed after and the break in an otherwise hectic day is nice.”

How do you rest and refresh during the day?

Image Source: QR5 via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Would you rather be a working mom or a stay at home mom (SAHM)? For most of us, the decision is highly personal, and specific to our life and family circumstances. But it can be helpful — and fascinating — to see, at a glance, what the actual differences are in the lives of working and stay at home moms.

This infographic was created entirely with information supplied by Circle of Moms members. It reveals differences in where working moms and SAHMs tend to live, in how their families are structured, in how quickly their children reach certain milestones, and in their political leanings.

We moms are used to hearing what the outside world thinks of our choices regarding career, from "you can have it all," to "don't abandon your children for a job," and every conceivable position in between. But for most of us, our bigger concern is how our kids regard our jobs. What do they really think we do when we go off to work each day? How do they feel about it? Are they proud of us and our accomplishments? Or do they think we spend too much time away from them?

We work for any number of reasons, from true desire to absolute necessity. Which camp do you fall into? I both love to and needed to work, and was able to work at home for the first two years of my son's life. We had a wonderful nanny, but even with our combined family income, we could barely swing it financially. My son started pre-school when he was 20 months old, and I like that our choice of a Montessori program has introduced him to the notion of work — in a good way.

At school, my son now learns that his work is play, and it's every bit as serious as mine. At home, because work is important, we respect each others' space. He knows that I won't disturb him when he's working, and he has learned not to interrupt me when I am. (Well, he's mostly learned.)

What do Your Kids Think of Your Work?

My son and I discuss everything, and work is even more of a hot topic now that I have a job outside the home. He doesn't really notice that I'm gone because he's at preschool most of the day as well, but we make it a habit of asking each other about our days. I'll ask him what he did at school, who he played with, whether he ate his lunch, and which book ia his current favorite. And he asks me if I had a good day and if I like to go to work. When I tell him I do, he is happy. We also share stories about what we saw during the day (from birds to dump trucks) and we talk about specific things we do. One day he even asked me if I'd been writing — and indeed I had!

The Circle of Moms Working Mums group has been debating these questions from various angles as well. Abby N. says that having a working mom was great for her kids because it made them more independent. Laura E.'s son, on the other hand, does not like that his mom works the graveyard shift because she is often too tired to play with him during the day. She hopes as he gets older these feelings will transform into gratitude as he begins to understand that she works so he can have a better lifestyle. And Rachel V.'s 4 1/2-year-old daughter has learned to be a good helper because she knows her mom has worked hard all day. This helps boost her self-esteen and confidence.

Narda A. offers yet another perspective: "My children always understood that I work because I love working, but they also understood that they came first. I reserved vacation days to attend school events, and I called in sick or left when they were sick." This seems to be the ideal situation to me, as Narda both actively pursues her career, but has the wherewithal to prioritize her family.

Work/Life Balance Requires Support

"I am so lucky to have such an understanding family," says Jackie F., whose husband assumes half of the childcare responsibilities. Alice T. and her husband work opposite shifts at work so that one of them can be at home with the kids at all times. We operate similarly in my household. I work the early shift so that I can pick my son up at the end of the day, and my partner covers the morning.

And we talk to our son about why we go to work, telling him it's where we make money to buy things that he enjoys — like pizza! He understands that his work has value, and so does ours. This concept helps a lot when he wakes up wanting to pour his own milk at 3 a.m. We now say, "That's mommy's work. I'll get the milk for you while you wait here in bed."

Still, there are often conflicts when he has to get up earlier than he wants so that we can get him to school before we go to work. He'll say, "No work today, no school today," knowing that when we don't go to work and school (like on weekends) we all get to stay home and have fun.

It all works out nicely when we get that quality weekend time. Kids are hard workers and need this kind of balance — just as much as we do.

Image Source: MoDot via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.