motherhood

As far as taboo topics go, referring to motherhood as "boring" is pretty high up there. Challenging, life altering, at times impossible? We've heard them all (and probably even been there) before. But flat out boring? According to UK journalist Julie Cook's startlingly honest piece in the Daily Mail UK, becoming a mom hasn't been all it's cracked up to be. "Before Alex, I had a demanding and fulfilling career working in women's magazines as a freelance writer. My days were spent working hard, my weekends spent playing even harder . . . Then Alex arrived and overnight my role changed. I was no longer myself; I was a mother," Cook writes.

The dissatisfied mom attributes much of her frustration to the transition of going from having a fulfilling career, surrounding herself with intelligent friends and colleagues, and access to disposable income to the monotony of "mum friends" and having to allocate the family's earnings to childcare and other baby-related costs. She goes on to share the mixed reactions of friends after confessing her "secret":

At first their tired, sleepless eyes would widen in shock at my topic of conversation but then, usually after a couple of glasses of wine, they'd begin to nod, guilt streaking their faces . . . But then there were the other friends I pitched this idea to; the ones who'd look at me with utter contempt or horror. Their lives seemed to revolve around little Jacob's swimming lessons or Harriet's art classes.

What do you think of Julie Cook's "confessions"? Is she being selfish, or realistic? Have you too felt bored in your role as a mom? What do you miss most about your preparenthood days?

We're happy to present this article from one of our favorite sites, Yahoo! Shine:

When basketball star Shaquille O'Neal was still a kid, he knew that he had to get good grades before he could to play sports.

"In our home we had a rule: No pass, no play," his mother, Lucille O'Neal, told Yahoo! Shine in an interview. "If you didn't pass the grade, then you weren't allowed to play the extracurricular activity." That dedication to his studies is still strong: On May 5, the four-time world champion and 15-time All Star player earned his doctorate in education from Barry University in Miami. That's earned, mind you, not honorary. According to The Miami Herald, Shaq, 40, spent the past 4 1/2 years working toward a doctoral degree in organizational learning and leadership with a specialization in human resource development, studying before and after NBA games and between segments as a sports analyst on TV.

Keep reading to hear Lucille's advise for parents.

Here's another post from our friends at Circle of Moms! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and motherhood stories from our partners at Circle of Moms, including this post from Mo Cooper about the right time to start kindergarten.

Preparing for kindergarten can be overwhelming. While most children start at 5 years old, some public and private schools are enrolling children as young as 4. The decision about when to start kindergarten should depend not only on what is offered in your area, but on your child's abilities and maturity. Here are some questions to think about if you are considering "testing in" for early kindergarten admittance.

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1. Is Your Child Ready Academically?
   Many parents who consider their child to be advanced academically prefer the early start route, and some schools, both private and public, will let them. Ashley F.'s school district allows 4-year-olds who will be turning 5 during the fall months to start kindergarten early. She signed her daughter up based on her academic readiness: "She knows her ABCs, 123s, Colors, Shapes, can write and spell her own name, mine, some other family member names, and a few other daily used words, and can read beginner books."

   Jenny started her daughter in kindergarten early (at the age of 4) because she didn't want to underestimate their potential: It worked out fine for Jenny; her daughter excelled in kindergarten; she was reading "off the charts" by the time the year was over, "and was thrilled to be there."

   But even if your child is familiar with letters, numbers, shapes, and colors at the age of 4, is she really ready to handle the rigorous curriculum of some kindergarten programs? Cassie C. advises waiting. In her school district, kindergarten is very structured: "Children are pushed very hard to read and write all day (even if they are not developmentally ready). The kindergarten curriculum has become very demanding on young children and can add a lot of undue stress and pressure to a 4-year-old or a newly 5-year-old."

   (To find out where your child should be with reading, writing, and math in order to start kindergarten, this article can help: What Your Child Should Know by Kindergarten.)

2. Is Your Child Mature Enough?
   It's hard to predict how any child will handle a major change such as starting kindergarten. You might know your child's technical reading and math skill level, but the social and emotional challenges of kindergarten are hard to predict. This is especially true if your child will be the youngest, or one of the youngest in class. As Lindsay H. says: "Some kids thrive in kindergarten and some struggle but it's hard to know how they will handle it until they are actually in that setting."

   Circle of Moms member and preschool teacher Karol D. offers some advice on behavioral skills that are helpful in kindergarten: "The things I try to work on with my class are ability to follow 2-part directions (get a toy and sit on the carpet), [and] being considerate of others' feelings (Jenny is upset because you wouldn't share with her, is that OK?). Lastly, I make certain my class can sit quietly to listen and not be disruptive." Does your child have the maturity to learn in a kindergarten environment?

   Some parents advise considering the possibility that your young child could face bullying, even at the kindergarten level. Being younger or smaller than the rest of the kids at their grade level can put a child at extra risk of being targeted by a bully. As Jane H. says, "Size . . . is important. He'll be developmentally behind . . . so when puberty hits, he will be left behind. Tweenagers can be cruel. All food for thought."

Keep reading for more tips on when to start Kindergarten.

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Erin Lane about raising girls.

Last week I wrote about the five things that worry me about raising my son. This week I’m spilling my guts about what scares me about raising my daughter. There is definitely some overlap. Let's face it; parenting is scary whether you have a boy or a girl.

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With my daughter, I think I find it more worrisome because I know exactly what I did growing up…and I want her to just skip all that. Pretty please? In reality, I was a pretty good kid, but I drank in high school and that alone has me screaming oh no she won't.

So here it is…the top five things I worry about raising my daughter.

1. Body Image: First off, I want to point out that I know boys have body image issues too, but I do worry about it more with my daughter. Fake perfection permeates the media and I know how much she's going to be exposed to. I want her to love her body as it is and to not feel that it's too big or too small. I remember feeling fat in early high school and taking diet pills just to see what they would do. I don't want that for her. I want her to be comfortable in her own skin and will do my best to help her feel that way.
2. Puberty: Oh lawdy me! I read Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret in 4th grade so I know what's coming at me. The whole first menstruation, buying a bra, shaving her legs, needing deodorant, skin problems era is taunting me already and E. just turned one. I worry that it'll happen too early or too late. I worry about the hormones and the impending attitude. I worry about boys (or girls!) taunting her if it doesn't happen exactly along the lines of everyone else. I worry about the icky men who started cat calling me when I was in middle school. It all just plain frightens me. I don't know how my mom did it alone with two of us.
3. SEX!: Puberty inevitably leads to sex — learning about sex, talking about sex, thinking about sex and (god forbid) having sex. While I prefer to believe my daughter will stay chaste forever, I know that is simply not the case. I pray that my husband and I do a good job in teaching her self-respect and understanding the consequences of her actions. I pray she only encounters nice boys, who will respect what she wants and doesn't want. I pray that if she has questions and is ever unsure, that she feels safe enough to come and talk with me. I pray that whenever her first time comes, that it's on her terms and is based purely on love.
4. Mean Girls: Uggggg! This may be my top worry. I've been here. I think every woman alive can associate with being both a mean girl and having experienced a mean girl. I have certainly been both. I don't know why it happens, but it seems to be happening earlier and earlier. I thought mean girls started in middle school but a friend today actually said she's seen it with six-year-olds. A best friend suddenly doesn't like you anymore. You're ostracized from the school lunch table with no warning. A group of girls deems you unworthy. I hate that this is coming. I just want to wrap my arms around my sweet girl and tell her she will always be loved, she will always be beautiful no matter what anyone else says. I wish what I said was all that mattered, but we are quickly coming upon the days when that won't be true. I want her to stay sweet, to be friendly to everyone. I'm being unrealistic I know, but one can hope.
5. Peer Pressure: This one encompasses all of the above. No matter the situation my daughter finds herself in, I want her to be comfortable enough in her own skin to stand up for what she believes in. I want her to feel OK being the odd ball out (that's a tall order, I know!) I definitely caved to the pressure on a few occasions and know she will too. But I want her to know that most of her friends will be just as uncomfortable as she is..no matter the situation. And sometimes, it just takes one person to say "no thank you" to give the rest of the crowd permission to say the same. I hope I raise that child. If not, that's ok too. She'll live and learn, but I hope that I can give her that confidence in herself.

BabyCenter has some great tips for raising a confident girl. Check them out and tell me what worries you. We can commiserate together.

More great posts from BabyCenter:
Was Your First Baby a "Good" Baby?
10 Cute Carrot Crafts For Easter
5 Ways to Dress Your Bump For Spring
Separation Anxiety For Mom
10 Cute Gifts to Make For Baby Boys

Here's another post from our friends at Circle of Moms! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and motherhood stories from our partners at Circle of Moms, including this post from Mary Beth Sammons about moments moms don't want to miss.

At the risk of sounding like my mom, I’ve come to realize our kids do grow up so fast. Even though some of the moments (like the teen years) can seem brutally drawn out, my mom was right. One moment, my kids were just babes in arms, and the next, they are walking, talking — and then marching on stage for their high school diplomas, hoisting a futon and my life savings into the rear of the SUV, and heading away to college. And all of these milestones have been such tearjerkers for me.

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All of these moments — their first steps; their first words, etc., are events that we moms long for, but when they finally happen, we are sobbing wrecks. I've shed a bucket or two raising three kids; here are the milestones I've found to be the most emotional.

1. Firsts: Smiling, laughing, rolling over, talking, and walking their first year. The first smile is a moment moms dream of. I’ll never forget when my son was born, and the doctor and nurses rallied around his incubator, proclaiming, "This kid is rolling over." A jock is born, flashed through my mind. When my oldest daughter uttered, "Mama," my heart exploded with joy. And when my baby, now in college, turned her giggle into a guffaw, laughing and laughing at her siblings, it made me weep.
2. Hurts: Would that we could raise our kids in an emotional cocoon. The first time I realized I couldn’t protect my kids from life’s hurts took place at my oldest daughter’s 2-year-old birthday party. I remember sitting in the kitchen with the other moms and smiling with glee as pint-sized kids in costumes (her birthday falls near Halloween) raced down the hall to the bedrooms. Suddenly there was my little pink tutu-clad ballerina, and she was crying. The other kids had raced into her room and left her standing outside in the hall on the other side of the door. My heart broke, foreshadowing many heart-tugging moments to come.
3. School Beginnings and Endings: Nothing brings tears to a mom’s eyes like leaving a sobbing preschooler who is holding onto your arm with all his might, screaming, “Mommy, don’t leave me!" I still choke up when I revisit those first school days — and every time I walked out the door and left my toddlers with a babysitter. But then fast-forward, suddenly your youngest is decked out in cap and gown and walking down the aisle of the high school gym with a diploma in hand. Kleenex, please.
4. Sports Drama: Standing on the sidelines, witnessing your son wipe out on the soccer field, and accompanying him to ER with the paramedics can make a mom’s heart tremble. Comforting a daughter when she doesn’t make the tennis team cut also pains, and watching a coach scream at your kid — that one brings out the Mother Bear in me.
5. Departures: The hardest moments, at least for me, have been facing the "roots and wings" milestones, when it's time to let the little ones fly from the nest. All through high school and curfew violations, teen temper tantrums and dealing with moods, I thought I would welcome college. But the whole time I was setting up the Ikea-coordinated bedding and fumbling with the steel futon in my kids' new dorm rooms, then hugging them and heading home by myself, I felt differently.

I remember calling my sister after dropping off my son a couple years ago and sobbing, only to have her remind me, "You said all through high school how college couldn’t come soon enough." And yet it did.

Which milestones have been the most emotional for you?

More great reads from Circle of Moms:
Can a marriage withstand a sex slump?
Eight activities for energetic toddlers
Signs you have a strong-willed child
Ten hilarious baby onesies
How to deal with your child's back talk

It's one of the many ironies of motherhood — once baby is finally sleeping through the night, it's mom that can't seem to get any sleep. Regardless of how tired mama may be, by the time she finally puts her head down, thoughts of kids' schedules, signed permission slips, work to-do lists, household chores, and more begin flooding her mind. It's become such a common issue that The New York Times has dubbed the sleeping pill mommy's lil helper these days.

In a recent article, the newspaper delved into the insomniac mother epidemic, suggesting:

One of the great untruths of modern parenthood is that children — with their runny noses, lost teddies, nightmares real and faux — are largely to blame for mothers’ lack of sleep; that women are all like Christina Applegate in the sitcom “Up All Night,” cutely wan from their infant’s 2 a.m. feedings. But here is the reality: it is the mothers who keep themselves awake.

Do you find yourself turning to prescription sleep aids since becoming a mother?