Add "What matters is that the baby's healthy." Mom may be disappointed that she's not able to have the baby vaginally, and dismissing that is really unkind.

I guess it's not so funny when you're about to go in for C-section, but I had to laugh at the "At least your vagina won't get all stretched out" comment.

It's phrased a little oddly, but The baby really doesn't care how it came out. doesn't come across as particularly rude to me. .. it sort of sounds like "hey, whatever is the best way for you to have a healthy and safe delivery!" That said, all I would say is "please let me know if I can do anything for you and your family"

What stigma is attached to a c-section? It happens in 1/3 of all births.

I hate it when people say "you haven't REALLY given birth."

As far as having not ACTUALLY given birth, I'm pretty sure that having another human lodged between your ribs for 3/4 of a year is a rite of passage that is PLENTY worthy. Some people say the most ridiculous things!

When I announced to my Lamaze class that I had just found out I'd been scheduled for a C-section the next week, per my doctor's orders, the instructor said "well let's all pray goes into labor this weekend so she'll at least know what a real birth feels like somewhat." My kid's six and that *still* burns. Especially finding out just before my last class, which I'd shelled out $120.00 buck for. I think that kind of dough would at least pay for some consideration. Sheesh.

i never understood why women think it's somehow less "mom-ish" (for lack of a better word) to have a c-section that to have a vaginal birth. when i had my first daughter by then bff had her first a week before me. it was a c-section and she felt really ripped off. she's still irritated that she didn't get to push out her daughter.

i don't see how it matters how you gave birth.

I hear many people state that a c-section isn't birth, it's more like "having a tumor removed." Those people can do things to my ass that I'm not allowed to say on Sugar.

I don't know why it's considered less either, but for some reason, a lot of women think it is.

I have NEVER in my life heard anyone say something like " a c-section isn't birth, it's more like "having a tumor removed."" or "you haven't REALLY given birth."

I wish I hadn't. Unfortunately it's a pretty common statement.

Wow, I cant believe people say these things. I would think a c-section is much worse than giving birth naturally!

I wanted to have a natural birth SOOOOOO badly. I read books, my husband and I practiced, I had a doula. But I ended up with an "elective" c-section. It never felt like I "elected" it. It felt like everyone was telling me I would risk my baby's life if I didn't have her by c-section.
When I changed doctor's to try to have a better shot at a natural birth for baby 2, that's what hurt the most - people always saying "your first was an ELECTIVE c-section." I ended up with another c-section (after 3 days of natural labor at home and another day at the hospital after my water broke). At least that one isn't called "elective."
If you know someone who really wants a vaginal birth, I wouldn't say anything about her c-section. Even though I was so excited/supportive/happy for my friends who got to have natural births, it hurt so bad to hear them tell me how magical and special it was watching the birth. I still cry, randomly, when I think about it.
Maybe I'm weird. It's just something I really wanted to do. I still do.

To those that say they don't know why it feels any different, it just *does*. My daughter is almost 3 and it still hurts to think that I had a c-sec. I feel like an utter failure that I didn't plan things differently or do something differently. I feel like mine was 100% preventable. It would be different, maybe, if it had really been medically necessary.

I am 35 weeks preggo with #2. I just found out that he might have to be born via c-section b/c he is footling breech. I cried the whole way home. I know that it doesn't make me any less of a woman or mother...but for some reason I want my whole birth expierence. I want to go through labor and the thought of that not happening really hurts. I used to not understand why women got so upset over a c-section....and now I completely understand! Right now the quote I hate is " Everything will work out and happens for a reason"...which is true, but it sucks!

I was totally surprised at this story. I have never heard anyone say that someone who had a c section didn't really give birth. Either it's a regional thing, or I'm just lucky enough not to hang around people that insensitive.

I've heard the c-section comment a lot and often from the very moms that had to get the surgery. In my opinion birth is birth, but unfortunately not everyone thinks that way.

Unfortunately I had my boyfriend's mother in the labor room (I can't even BEGIN to talk about that!) when the doctor told us I was going to have to go down for a c-section. I had been in labor for ten hours at that point (no epidural yet), and she had the nerve to say to me "Well, the pains you are feeling aren't NOTHING. Try actually pushing the baby out." (bad grammar and all). I still feel my face heat up with rage when I think about what she said! Try having a major abdominal surgery -- those pains are something!!