BabyCenter Post Swap

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about non-romantic parenting.

The New York Times Style section never fails to expose, or even invent, the latest trend. A feature about people “hooking up” for the sole purpose of becoming parents, romantics need not apply, is no exception.

Related: How do you get your baby to sleep, seriously?

From what I gather, this parenting arrangement is reminiscent of a business deal: two mature people with a common goal find each other, usually online via a slew of newish social network websites, and come together as partners whose chief objective is creating and raising a baby, or two.

Just as with conventional dating sites, these parenting-partnership sites help like-minded people — often men and women in their late 30s or early 40s — connect. In lieu of courtship, couples vet each other thoroughly and then, if it feels right, head straight to the family finish line.

Keep reading for more on this new trend.

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about dads being present at childbirth.

After reading that Wiz Khalifa will be very hands-on during home birth, I was struck by two things.

One, I think it's awesome that home birth is becoming a normalized, viable option for expectant couples of both the celebrity and regular old Joe Shmoe kind. And two, it just makes sense that all dads should be present and "hands-on" during their child's birth.

Related: Has your toddler destroyed your home yet?

Truth be told, I don't think I could've done it — the pregnancy, the early labor, the active labor, the pushing part — without my husband being nearby. We were in this together, as a couple. Sure, I was the one whose feet swelled up like baseball gloves, I was the one who planned on oiling up her taint every night because I was so afraid of having an episiotomy, and, ultimately, I was the one who had to pass a child's head through my nethers, six times.

Me, just me.

All self-deprecating humor aside, it’s true: I needed my husband's presence during the births of our children. It felt good to know my partner was there, helping me, reassuring me, comforting me, coaching me through the hard work of labor. It was very much a team effort. I know women who say that they wanted to club their husbands over the head during childbirth, but that wasn't my experience. My husband was pretty much amazing at keeping me focused, calm, and hopeful. Yes, I know he was probably as scared as I was at times, but I always felt safe when he was beside me.

I wasn't the type who liked having an entourage present during labor. Sisters, friends, mothers, sister-in-law — having them present during your birth is great, and I've certainly had those moments where I wanted them there. Still, I consider childbirth a very intimate moment. Together, we created a baby and together we'll welcome him into the world.

That said, I can't imagine not having my husband be involved in the birth of our children. A father should want to. They need to bond with their child just as much as we do. There shouldn't be any questions or statements — it's a given.

Was the father of your child present and "hands-on" during the birth?

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about what we give up for our kids.

On Facebook, I reconnected with a former co-worker from my newspaper days and found out he'd become a dad to a little girl.

He stuck with the newspaper game (I got out, by the skin of my teeth) and occasionally writes about his parenting journey for his current paper, the Erie Times-News. Today, he posted a column about missing out on movies and how as a kid and even an adult he made sure to see at least all the Oscar-nominated movies for that season, if not all of the movies released in a year.

Oh, how it made me laugh.

I'm about five years ahead of my friend in this parenting gig and this year I considered myself lucky to have seen the three flicks my husband and I managed to sneak in on a few hard-earned date nights. Back in the day, pre-kids and pre-spouse, I'd spend my weekends in a darkened theater, watching back-to-back feature films. Sitting there in the dark, losing myself in the fictions and true stories playing out on the big screen, offered me the same kind of nourishment for the soul that a great book provided.

Related: 7 Great Developmental Toys For Babies

My friend Gerry is grateful for the hole in his life where movies used to be, he says, and he knows that someday the hours spent engrossed in a big screen will come again.

I'm not exaggerating when I say that movie-going was one of the great pleasures of my pre-parent life. It was part of the bond forged between me and my husband, early on in our relationship, when we discovered with delight that our paths had crossed many, many times in a movie theater, even in Boston and Cambridge when we were college students who had not yet met, studying at two universities on two sides of the Charles River.

Now, I don't even really miss it.

Gerry's column made me think about all the things I've given up for my children—reading until 1 a.m., late mornings laying in bed doing The New York Times crossword puzzle, dry-clean-only clothing, my career, hot meals, regular bathing…the list is endless.

I bet your list is, too.

Sometimes I look back at the life I led before motherhood and it baffles me. Who was that sharp-dressed lady with the library account in good standing?

Then I look at my kids, their faces smeared with chocolate from the brownies we baked together, and that memory disappears, only to be replaced with one that is so much more meaningful, so much more beautiful.

My life is a movie now, one filled with terrorizing beauty and a plot I have yet to fully grasp.

For that, I would gladly give up just about anything. Anything, that is, except for my kids.

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about babyproofing.

I consider my parenting style as very hands on when it comes to child safety.

However, you won't find me installing safety gates, latches, or toilet locks. In fact, the most I've done was cover unused electrical outlets. But, that didn't last long. I'd find myself plugging something in and not returning the protective cover.

Related: Are You Annoyed When Strangers Shush Your Crying Baby?

You may be reading this and thinking, "This Mom is totally nuts. I wouldn't want her watching my kid." I wouldn't blame you for feeling that way. I just have a different approach to safety.

Before becoming a mom, I was always the designated babysitter to my niece and nephew. My apartment was never childproof. Rather than turn my home into a prison, I'd just keep an eye on them. It was that simple.

I've applied that same belief to my own parenting style. My way of childproofing involved explaining to my daughter early on about the importance of staying away from things like the hot stove and staircase.

I'd also keep sharp objects out of reach. Even though she couldn't speak at the time, I would talk to her about the danger zones around the house. I won't lie; she did fracture her wrist at one point. But, that incident had nothing to do with not childproofing our home. I'm in no way encouraging parents to avoid childproofing. You can decide what's best for your child.

Now that my daughter is 2, she knows where not to go and what not to touch. It's become a routine for her to stay away from the electrical outlets and such. My husband would like to install a gate, which I may consider. I can only speak for myself when I say that childproofing doesn't necessarily mean my child will stay safe.

I think setting boundaries is a much better idea. With another baby on the way, I may give in to putting up a barrier at the staircase. But, I won't be changing my overall stance on the issue.

What are your thoughts on childproofing?

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about piercing a baby's ears.

A Pittsburgh Gazette reader recently wrote into the newspaper about her strong disapproval of babies getting their ears pierced. She called it borderline child abuse and compared ear piercing to getting a tattoo. The reader expressed that parents should let their children grow up and make their own decision about whether to poke permanent pinholes in their years.

Related: Is my kid ready for an email address?

Does this woman have a point? Is it cruel to pierce a baby’s ears?

The answer from most pediatricians is no.

“Ear piercing is usually done without painkillers because the piercing itself hurts less than a shot of anesthetic would,” Dr. Meredith Goodwin told BabyCenter.

Dr. Goodwin says that the procedure is perfectly safe, especially when performed by a doctor with a sterilized needle. The guns used at shopping malls aren’t always sterilized and babies are at a risk of catching hepatitis from these.

Of course, there are other small risks after the piercing procedure. Infections can develop if the ears aren’t regularly cleaned.

Would I pierce my baby’s ears?

This is a personal question for me and all moms because the answer is rooted in cultural traditions, family history, your own mother’s beliefs.

In some cultures, it’s common for babies to get their ears punctured just as in some cultures boys are circumcised. In many Southeast Asian and South American countries the procedure is performed at the hospital the day after birth. The gold studs in the ears of a 3-month-old are viewed beautiful, charms of good luck.

Do these babies grow into women who hate their mothers for making the decision for them? “I have yet to meet a Latina or a woman who had her ears pierced as a baby that has told me they regret having pinholes in their ears and blame their parents for doing that to them,” Ana Flores wrote on her blog SpanglishBaby.

Keep reading for more about piercing babies' ears.

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about fixing breastfeeding problems.

"We just give women a pat on the head and tell them their kids will be fine," if they don't breastfeed, says Dr. Alison Stuebe, an OB who treats breast-feeding problems in North Carolina. "Can you imagine if we did that to men with erectile dysfunction?"

This question is one of many valid questions posed in this Time article, which takes a close look at how doctors treat, and fail to treat, women with breastfeeding problems.

Related: Is sushi safe while pregnant?

Why is it that we're so willing to see problems such as erectile dysfunction as medically based and medically treatable, but, when it comes to breastfeeding, the failure of a woman to adequately feed her baby is rarely seen as a valid medical issue?

If a man can't get an erection, doctors don't tell him he's not trying hard enough. They give him a physical and often a prescription. Yet, too often, when a woman can't breastfeed, her problems are viewed as a problem that can be solved by moral support, technique coaching or a human milk substitute in powder form.

The reason for this, Dr. Stuebe surmises, lies in the fact that relatively few doctors are trained in human lactation. Stuebe attributes this to culture. Today's medical school teachers, the so-called experts, were trained in a time when breastfeeding was not popular.

And where physicians fall short, lactation consultants try to pick up the slack. But lactation consultants often do so from the perspective that any woman with the right intentions can breastfeed. Possible medical reasons behind breastfeeding problems are rarely considered.

Keep reading to see what doctors are doing.

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about parenting resolutions for 2013.

The year 2012 has been a big one for me. My firstborn turned one, and my soon-to-be-secondborn announced her arrival in my uterus. The year 2013 promises to be busy, exciting, and full of new experiences for me and my family.

Related: AAP Says Recess Is the Most Important Class of the Day

Here are a few tidbits, tricks, and tips that I’ve picked up in 2012 that will help me along in 2013:

1. Stop to take pictures! If no one is hurt, and nothing is at risk of being broken, stop to take pictures! It’s important to have these pictures to look back on. Perhaps C won’t be as happy at all of the pictures I’ve taken when she’s older, especially the infamous “poop-in-the-pool” picture.
2. Let others help you when they offer. I’ve always been an “I can do it myself” kind of girl. I spend my days chasing a toddler while my belly continues to grow bigger. It can be tough, but I manage just fine. When I’m around other people, I’m learning to embrace the offered help from others. If someone wants to get me a beverage, I’ll let them.
3. It’s OK to be a bit sassy. Strangers have an uncanny ability to ask very personal, weird questions to pregnant women. If my sarcasm switch is turned on, they can expect to get a sassy answer in return. My favorite? When asked by a stranger what I’ll be naming my child, my response was “I’ll consult the father on that as soon as I figure out who it is.” There are never any follow-up questions.
4. Encourage the silly. C is so animated and has such a unique personality. Of course, there’s a time and a place to be silly, but silliness can bring on creativeness, and I encourage C to be silly. She enjoys putting a bucket over her head and wandering around blindly. It’s funny to watch, but she’s also having to utilize her other senses to learn about her environment.
5. Take a moment for yourself. I’m a mom, but that’s not the only thing that I am. It’s an important, time-consuming job, but it’s so important to take a moment each day for yourself. My husband has been my lifesaver. He comes home from work, and insists that I do something alone. This has ranged from taking a bath, painting my toenails, or just using the restroom alone with the door shut. It’s refreshing, energizing, and essential to my mental well-being.
6. You’ll make mistakes. Accept it and move on. This is the hardest thing to learn, and will always be a learning process. No matter how hard you try, or how good your intentions are, you’ll mess up and make a mistake. Parenting is a tough job, and it’s all on-the-job training. Accept the mistakes that you’ve made, but always remember to move on. Even “perfect” parents make mistakes.

What are your parenting resolutions for 2013?

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Getting kids to sleep is a First World problem
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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about how royal baby names are chosen.

The royals tend to use the same traditional names, generation after generation. This may seem repetitive, but when looking for baby-name inspiration, it means you're almost guaranteed to find a name that's elegant, respected, and, most importantly, timeless.

Related: Ohio Cop Delivers Christmas Eve Baby

With Queen Elizabeth II celebrating 60 years on the throne, and speculation rife about Catherine, Duchess of Cambridge (aka Kate)'s pregnancy, the spotlight on royal names has never been stronger. Here we look at the most influential royal baby names of 2012.

The Year of Elizabeth?
With the queen celebrating her diamond jubilee, 2012 is definitely the year of Elizabeth. Baby-name trends have reflected the nation's fascination with the queen. In 2012, the popularity of Elizabeth is set to increase by 264 percent. It's the perfect name for parents looking for a name that's traditional yet feminine.

The name Elizabeth was made popular by Elizabeth I, and it's been a royal favorite ever since. The queen shared her name with her mother, the hugely popular Elizabeth Bowes-Lyon. And three of the queen's granddaughters — Zara, Beatrice, and Louise — have Elizabeth as a middle name.

Elizabeth isn't only a popular choice in royal circles; it's also a firm favorite with the Middletons. Both Kate Middleton and her mother, Carole, have Elizabeth as a middle name.

The Middleton Effect?
Since the announcement of her engagement to Prince William in 2010, Catherine has had a huge impact on popular culture, and baby-name trends are no exception. In 2012 the name Catherine is on track for a 188 percent increase in popularity. The name Catherine, meaning pure, also has a strong royal history, with three of the wives of Henry VIII sharing the name.

Kate is a nickname for Catherine, and one that's been widely adopted by the world's media when referring to the Duchess of Cambridge. Debate continues over whether the duchess herself prefers Kate or Catherine. Whatever her personal favorite, she's no doubt had an influence on the popularity of the shortened version of Catherine, with Kate on track for a 260 percent increase in popularity this year.

Keep reading to find out more about Kate Middleton's baby-name options!

It's not only Kate Middleton who's been making an impact on baby-name trends. There's never been more interest in Kate's younger sister, Pippa. This year, the name Pippa is on track for a 633 percent increase in popularity. It's the perfect choice for those who want something a little less formal than the traditional royal choices.

And for those who prefer something a little more regal, there's Philippa, which Pippa is a shortened version of. This is a name with a strong royal heritage. Philippa of England was the daughter of Henry IV, King of England, and was the queen of Denmark, Sweden, and Norway in the early 15th century. Interestingly, Philippa was the first documented princess to wear a white wedding dress during a royal wedding ceremony. Perhaps Pippa was following in her namesake's footsteps when she wore white to her sister's wedding in 2011?

It's not just with girls' names that the Middleton effect can be felt. The name of Kate's brother, James, is on track for a 374 percent increase in popularity in 2012. Of course, James has also been a popular choice in royal circles over the centuries. In the 17th century, James I was King of England and Ireland. The queen's eighth grandchild, son of the Earl and Countess of Wessex, is also called James.

What About Royal Names For Boys?
Prince William has always been in the spotlight, but the attention has never been greater than since his marriage to Catherine in 2011. Unsurprisingly, the interest in the prince has seen his name surge in popularity. William is on track to be 654 percent more popular in 2012 than it was last year.

William, meaning resolute protection, is a name with a rich royal past. It was introduced to England by William the Conqueror. In the 17th century, William III ruled England along with his wife, Mary, and in the 19th century, William IV was king. When Prince William inherits the throne, he will become William V. Prince William has always been known as Will or Wills, and these nicknames have gradually replaced Billy and Bill as the popular short forms of the name.

Another royal favourite is George. The name George is on track for a 500 perecnt increase in popularity in 2012. St. George has been the patron of England since the 14th century, but the name did not become popular until the accession of George I of England in the 18th century. George is also the name of Prince William's great-grandfather George VI. Edward is another royal name that's trending upward in the jubilee year, on track for a 366 percent increase in popularity. Edward has always been hugely popular in royal circles, with eight English kings going by the name. It's still a popular choice and is the name of William's uncle, the youngest son of Queen Elizabeth, Prince Edward.

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Carolyn Robertson about oversharing during pregnancy.

Positive pregnancy tests, ultrasound photos, naked baby bumps… it sometimes seems that when it comes to pregnancy and social media, there's no such thing as "TMI."

Just last week actress Busy Philipps announced her second pregnancy by posting a photo of her Clear Blue Easy test on Twitter. She's not the only one — according to a new survey out of the UK, 22% of respondents had been treated to a photo of a friend's positive pregnancy test online (while a whopping 90% had seen an ultrasound image!). I have to admit, it's a trend I don't really get.

Related: Will "I am Adam Lanza's Mom" Writer Influence Mental Health Care?

I know that a picture says a thousand words, but in this case I think just two will do: "I'm pregnant." If you say it, I'll believe you; you don't need to show me the pee-soaked stick to prove it.

Things don't tend to get much better as the pregnancy progresses. A quick Twitter search shows that #morningsickness is a hugely popular hashtag. As in, "Omg I hate #morningsickness! I threw up my entire breakfast," which one suffering mom-to-be Tweeted just this morning. I feel for her… but suddenly I don't feel much like breakfast, either.

Here's another gem from today: "Oh snap three chunks of my mucus plug came out! Pleaseeeeee let her come today!!"

Shudder. (And good luck, by the way!)

Hollywood mama Jessica Simpson was a classic case, happily chatting and Tweeting about everything from pregnancy-induced sweating ("I was sweating my butt off and I just started calling myself 'Swamp Ass,'" she shared) to her insatiable sex drive. But even she drew the line when it came to childbirth.

It's the final act of over-sharing: Posting the complete, unedited birth video online. For everyone to see. YouTube is home to a huge collection of childbirth home movies. Shaky cameras zoomed in on women writhing and grunting, moaning in pools, slumped over exercise balls, pushing and screaming as their babies' heads crown. I can appreciate the educational value in it, and certainly the miracle of it, but it's all just a bit too much for me.

Did you share all the great (and gory) details of your pregnancy and childbirth online? Do you have pregnancy friends or family members who are guilty of "over-sharing?"

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Denise Cortes about motherhood and worrying.

In my home, we love Legos.

Throughout the day, I'll hear the sweet twinkling of Legos moving around in a Rubbermaid bin and then concentrated silence. It means my kids are playing Legos and I'll have a few moments of peace.

My son Cyan is a highly devoted Lego collector. Since he has the tendency to be a neat freak, he has Rubbermaid bins inside of his Rubbermaid bins filled with the stuff. My two daughters enjoy playing with them, too.

Related: What's the Difference Between Boy Toys and Girl Toys?

One day while I was cooking dinner, Maya walked up to me and asked, "Mama, will you buy me my own Legos? Cyan won't let me play with his." Bottom lip sticking out, the whole nine yards.

"Yes, of course," I answered her absentmindedly, stirring the spaghetti sauce.

"But, mama, I want girl Legos!"

That made me stop stirring.

"And what exactly are 'girl' Legos? Are they pink or something?" I questioned her.

"I don't know!" she said, shrugging her shoulders. "But I don't want boy Legos like Cyan's!"

"A Lego is a Lego, little girl!" I called after her as she ran outside to ride her bike.

Ever since my kids were little, I encouraged them to play with whatever toys they wanted to. This meant my boys played "store" and "restaurant" with fake food and my girls often played with Buzz Lightyear and a light saber.

Recently, a 13-year-old girl named McKenna Pope launched a petition on Change.org on behalf of her 4-year-old brother, who always wanted an Easy Bake Oven but felt that the toy was "for girls only." Big sis McKenna has become quite an activist, stating that pink toy ovens discourage boys from kitchen play.

I totally agree. Kids should play with whatever toy they want, not "gender assigned" toys. This explains why my daughter clearly defined Legos as "boy toys" — they weren't swathed in baby pink, just like her favorite toy aisle. The color sends a message loud and clear, these are your toys, young lady, this is what's acceptable to play with.

But what about the little boy who want an Easy Bake Oven? Or the little girl who wants to collect Iron Man and Batman action figures? They should be able to do so, without feeling like they're strange. As for my daughter Maya, she requested Lego Friends, which seems to be a happy medium for us.

Does your child stick to "boy toys" or "girl toys"? How do you feel about gender-specific toys?

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