BabyCenter Post Swap

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about using car seats.

Late last year, the Dadlers went to Disneyland. We drove through the night to get there, and I felt horrible for my kids as they struggled to sleep in their booster seats.

More than once I was tempted to stop, fold down the back seat, and let them sleep flat as we continued to the park.

Related: 10 Very Unsung Childhood Milestones

After all, that's the way it was done when I was a kid. And some of my fondest memories are of lying in the back of the station wagon napping, reading, or just resting there watching the world go by.

But of course, it's not safe, not legal, and our car could be the one that gets smashed.

The reality though is that my kids were unsafely slumped over and barely in their boosters. And the only way they would be perfectly positioned in their seats would be if I either gave them each a cup of coffee or I used duct tape to keep them in a permanent, upright position.

I don't know what to do. That's not one of mine in the photo above, but I'm desperate enough to actually like that completely unsafe seat belt technique (that kid is going to be an engineer). But seriously, does anybody have a solution for this mess? Does anyone just let their kids sleep flat?

I'm surprised there's no product for this problem. Seems like there's a million dollars to be made (I'd do it but I'm too busy writing my parenting book, Force Father).

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about what moms really want for Mother's Day.

The question is innocent enough, right? "What do you want for Mother's Day?"

My husband asked me this over the weekend. Instead of shrugging and saying nothing, like I usually do, I took the time to think about what I'd like. And, oddly enough, none of the things I came up with were things you can buy at a store.

Related: Would you post nude photos of your tot online?

All of them require a little effort from my family. Maybe that's why they're so hard to come by?

I have a feeling I'm not alone here. Without further ado…

10 Things I Really Want for Mother's Day (That Don't Cost A Dime)

1. My baby to sleep through the night. Please God, if you give me nothing else my whole life, I'll take this and be eternally happy.
2. Everyone in my family to pick up their own clutter. This includes your socks, toys, water bottles, keys, mail, books and anything else you routinely leave strewn about.
3. An unexpected treat that I didn't have to ask for.
4. Everyone to put away their own laundry. In a timely fashion.
5. The kids not complaining about the dinner I've cooked. And on that note...
6. A really yummy homemade meal that I didn't have to cook...
7. Followed by some homemade chocolate cake.
8. A nap where no one bothers me, asks me to get them something to drink or cries because their Legos fell apart.
9. Someone to make my mud room look like the ones on Pinterest.
10. A real neck massage. Not a gift card for a massage (because I do not have time to use that.)

What would you like for Mother's Day?

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7 things you forget about having a newborn
7 creative soccer mom snacks
Postpartum care for down there
15 adorable first birthday smash cake outfits

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about parenting advice from around the world.

In celebration of the Global Mom Relay, World Moms Blog editors asked 19 mothers from 17 countries for the best advice a mother ever gave them. Here’s what they had to say:

"To find the most awesome teenagers you can and interrogate their mother as to how she parented them. Then do that!" — Karyn Van Der Zwet, New Zealand

"When my first child was born, the nurse midwife told me not to get into the habit of overextending yourself. The "master" (she means husband) in your life will come to expect that and take it for granted. Especially at first, do what you can do and "remove the hand" from rest. (That's a Japanese way of saying to let it go.) I should have listened to her; it would have made my first couple of years as a mother much easier." — Melanie Oda, Japan

Related: The Glorious Vulnerability of Motherhood

"Remember that whatever it is you're going through, it will pass. This little piece of advice has helped me endure the tough times and savor the good times." — Dee Harlow, Laos

"Let them figure out the solution, don't always give it to them." We are too quick to help our kids figure out life's puzzles. We try and solve every argument they have and end up with them coming to us for every little thing. Sometimes, we just need to stand back and let them figure it out. — Mama B., Saudi Arabia

"Don't make sleep a goal. Just enjoy it when you can get it. Considering my newborn stayed awake for eight-hour stretches and didn't sleep through the night, constantly hoping and expecting sleep would have made me miserable. Instead, I just slept when I could. It made a huge difference to my sanity." — Carol, Canada

"My mum, when I was a frightened and very tired new mother said, 'No-one will ever know your child better than you do. Trust your instincts.' It's gotten me through every challenge with my daughters so far." — Sophie Walker, United Kingdom

"Someone once told me to do the best I know how, then leave the rest to God. Whenever I go through tough periods of change and tantrums, I try to step aside and re-focus on the bigger picture—my end goals, vision and hope for my family." — June, Singapore

"Back when I was a clean freak (which to my husband's chagrin has passed), my grandmother would tell me, 'If it's a choice between cleaning your house or playing with your kids, play with your kids because they are so much more important.'" — Susie Newday, Israel

Keep reading for more global parenting advice.

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about letting kids play outside.

Last week, the parents of a six-year old girl learned that Child Protective Services might take their little girl from them. Their crime? They allowed her to walk a couple of blocks to the post office alone.

She doesn’t live in a busy city. She had to cross one road, a “T” intersection with a stop sign and traffic light. It was a very common walk for her, but her parents rehearsed her doing it independently as well. She had a cell phone on her just in case. And now, she might be removed completely from her family.

Related: Does My Body Measure Up to Other Moms'?

I feel terribly sad when I hear these stories. For one, I’ve been interrogated by CPS after a doctor irresposibly jumped to conclusions because my daughter is brain damaged. But, I also feel for the members of the public. As in the case of this six-year old girl, the ones who felt they had no choice but to involve the police, rather than believe the parents. It must feel awful when you can not remove yourself from suspicions, even after a reasonable explanation is given.

I’m geniunely unnerved by this state of fearfulness. Fear of your child being snatched from your peaceful suburban town. Fear of CPS knocking down your door if you allow them to explore safely. Fear of your child being kidnapped from your locked car when you run inside to grab your forgotten purse off the counter.

The statistics about child abduction may surprise you. Ernie Allen, president of the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children says, “More missing children come home today than at any time in our nation’s history. And the total number of missing children has been on the decline over the past 10 years.”

Keep reading for more thoughts on kids playing outside.

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about the work at home and stay at home debate.

With Sheryl Sandberg’s new book Lean In garnering enormous attention in the media, it’s not surprise that we’re somehow back to the whole working mom vs. stay-at-home-mom argument. But this time it’s not the moms going at it, apparently it’s the dads who have an opinion on the matter.

Yes, according to a study [of the very obvious] conducted by the Pew Research Center, dads want their wives to be stay-at-home-moms. Apparently 37 percent of the dads surveyed think moms should stay home. And 41 percent think that part-time work is a good compromise.

Related: Child-Free Blogger Weighs in on Our Parenting Fails

Granted, this was a study of about 2500 people, so I’m hardpressed to say this is a significant number or holds any sort of validity, but really, are we that surprised? I mean how nice would it be to go to work and have someone at home love and care for your kids, as well as keep up with the house and all the associated duties?

Sign me up!

What’s interesting is that more women (37 percent compared to 21 percent when this study was last conducted) want to work full-time and about 50 percent want to work part-time. So as satisfied as the men are with having the home, the women are unsatisfied.

The question I ask myself, and have asked for many years, is whether that’s really the best for everyone? Whether men want the woman to stay home seems fairly inconsequential to me. I would like to know what’s best for the relationship, for each individual, and for the kids.

My best guess is that it’s where each party feels satisfied and happy with their choice, whatever it may be. And that they feel supported and confident that they made the right one. Until someone figures all that out for every parent out there I’m going to continue doing what I do when I see these studies: roll my eyes.

What do you think about these study results?

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Do you have a second mom in your house?
7 yummy ways to use leftover ham
Creative pre-school crafts from Pinterest
11 kids rugs that are great for play
10 gender-neutral baby shower gifts

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about how to handle being mistakenly asked if you're pregnant.

I can’t believe it happened to me. It’s been a few years, but it still stings.

We were at the zoo with my toddler and baby. It was a nice day and I was feeling pretty good about life. Everyone was sleeping through the night. Naps were consistent. Nursing was going good. I was just beginning to feel like I had a handle on this whole “mom of two” thing. Being completely honest, in the car on the way I actually had a thought that went a little like, “maybe I could go for three.”

So there we were. Our happy little family of four was approaching the wolf exhibit. Another dad was there with his toddler son. Both were outwardly happy, seeming to enjoy the day as much as we were. Then that’s when it all went to crap.

Related: In defense of the messy mother

He looked directly at me and asked the mother of all questions. “So when are you due?” I looked behind me. Surely he was talking to someone else. “Me?” I asked. He smiled bigger and nodded, not quick enough to realize his error. The very least he could have done was to make something up like, “Oh…uh, I mean I said, “Is she two?” But no, he held his course and kept right on smiling at me, looking down at my belly.

I tried to be nice, I really did, but I went from shocked, to humiliated, to mad, and landing at sad in a flash. I mustered up a chuckle and managed to say, “You shouldn’t assume someone is pregnant unless you actually see the head emerging from her body, but thanks.” I think my husband was mortified.

In hindsight I probably should have just said, “June” and moved on. After all, this guy was trying to be nice and engage the fat lady in a way that would normally make someone who was actually pregnant smile. He meant no harm and I truly believe that. So if I could take my zinger back, I would. But still…the man clearly needed to learn a lesson. And I clearly needed to do some core training.

Didn’t he see the little baby in the stroller? Being so pregnant that I was showing made no sense. Yet still, I couldn’t unhear his question, so I had to process it. I lingered at angry for a few minutes then quickly realized this 90 second interaction was ruining my day. At the time, I had already lost all of my pregnancy weight plus some. My body had changed, that’s for sure, but until that moment, I was feeling okay about it.

I decided to do two things.

1. Get over it.
2. Never wear that outfit again.

Problem solved.
Have you ever been mistaken for pregnant? How did you react?

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God Help the Messy Mothers
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Kate Middleton & Prince William: The Royal Baby Revealed!(?)
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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about the benefits of siblings.

I don’t remember life before my sister. But, I do remember stuffing her in between the crack of her bed and the wall. And, leaving her. And, thinking life was better that way.

Of course, we are older now and best friends. It's hard to think about life without her. What if she had never shimmied her way out of that bed crack? It doesn't bear thinking about. (Though, I'd imagine none of my Halloween candy would've ever disappeared again.)

Related: What Parents Can Learn From Steubenville

Siblings are wonderful, except when they're not. We laugh, entertain and protect one another — from issues as bizarre as who is forced to eat the last piece of Banana Tofu Pie (yes, things like that happened in my house) to who is forced to sit with the other at lunch because no one else at school will. I protected my sister with only my wits and a hairbrush once. (Long story.) We phoned each other deep into the night to complain about boys and our parents. Come to think of it — who do children complain to about their parents if they have no sibling?

But, she also stole my candy, my parents' attention and my sanity. She claims I even stole one of her friends, but I would maintain that I had no idea that she was already friends with him before I became friends with him.

Sometimes, I wonder what my son's life will be like without a sibling. He has a sister, but May is severely disabled and, despite adoring her, she will never be the kind of companion in life that mine was to me. She takes up so much of our time already, I worry about him losing even more to a needy infant. He isn't even two years old, and already he entertains himself. Which is both wonderful, and a bit sad.

In his case, I'm not sure the benefits would outweigh the negatives. But, perhaps, like I do — he will appreciate the presence of a sibling more when he is older. When we have to stay at home with May and he would like his family to join him at a big event. When he just wants to laugh with someone, or head to the pub to complain bitterly to someone who will understand why his parents are so strange. Or later, when choices about May need to be made and he is making them on his own.

There's still time. I'm only 40.

Do you think the benefits of a sibling outweigh the negatives?

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Having It All by Choosing to Stay at Home
Some Days My Kid Won't Like Me
Liz Lange's Tips For Date Night Glam While Expecting
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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about what labor really feels like.

One of the most agonizing aspects of being pregnant is wondering what labor will feel like. When I was pregnant with my first child, I'd often lay awake at night, wondering how it was all going down. Would I be able to handle it?

Related: Are pregnant women being bullied into C-sections?

It's one of those life-changing events that you have to experience to understand. I've had six births and no two labors were alike. Our BabyCenter Community is talking about this very same topic, Is it as bad as everyone says? Here are a few opinions from our members:

kirstenk86 said: "It was horrible and I wanted to die." Tell us how you really feel, kirstenk86.
BabyMine1104 said: "It's the hardest work you'll ever do, perhaps the most painful, but 100% worth it!"
abrigham said: "If birth was so traumatizing and near-death horrible we'd all only have one kid and we'd die out as a species…have confidence in yourself and your ability."
LittleLucy2 said: "Labor is hard work. But you can do it."

As a woman about to give birth, encouragement and pats on the back were great, but I wanted to know the truth. Give me the 411. Give me the real deal—the cold hard truth. I wanted to know what this whole thing actually felt like.

Early labor feels a lot like menstrual cramps.
To me, early labor felt like it was that time of the month. Achy legs, achy back and menstrual cramps. Not enough to cry out in pain, but just enough to make me uncomfortable and crabby. I recall being really grouchy in early labor—it was as if I was royally pissed off that a child was making its way down my birth canal.

Keep reading for one mama's thoughts on labor.

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about wishing for a baby of a certain gender.

When I was first pregnant 10 years ago and people asked whether I wanted a boy or a girl, I always responded that I wanted a healthy baby. I gave the same response when I got pregnant a year-and-a-half later.

I was telling the truth. Back then I thought it was greedy and socially unacceptable to express that you hoped for a specific gender. I thought it was cruel and mean to the fetus inside my belly to have an opinion.

Related: How to achieve a great-looking C-section scar

Plus, I was haunted by a family story about my grandmother wanting a girl so badly that she gave my dad a girl’s name, Terry. Not Terrance, but Terry, which apparently back then wasn't used for both genders.

But now I'm older and less wise, and I'm letting go of the self-righteous attitudes that I latched onto in my youth, and I will tell you that more than anything I want a girl. A ruffle-loving, pink-wearing, pretty little princess who I can call Kate or Elizabeth or Sarah-Rose or something wonderfully lovely and girlie.

Keep reading for the rest of this mom-to-be's thoughts.

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post about television and kids.

We've all heard the warnings about TV time for kids: Introduced too early it can have a negative impact on your children's development, allowed too often and their behavior, attention spans and even waistlines may suffer.

Related: Why Can't I Fire My Inner Supermom?

A new study, however, takes a different approach to the hot topic of kids and television.

"We often focus on how much kids watch and don't focus enough on what they watch," says Dr. Dimitri Christakis, director of the Center for Child Health, Behavior and Development at Seattle Children's Research Institute and the study's author. "While too many children watch too much TV, this study shows that content is as important as quantity."

Dr. Christakis' team studied 565 families with children between the ages of 3 and 5 years old. Half of these families received a "media diet intervention," receiving advice on how to substitute violent programs like Power Rangers for "prosocial and educational" ones such as Dora the Explorer, Imagination Movers, and Sesame Street. The other half, those in the control group, didn't receive this guidance.

(Confession: My gut reaction to this premise was, 'Why is a 3-year-old watching anything but prosocial and educational shows?' Then I guiltily remembered how my own standards have slipped since having my second child. At 2 years old, she already knows the theme song to her older sister's favorite show, Spongebob Squarepants. If you've ever seen Spongebob, 'educational' probably isn't the first word that pops to mind.)

The families who took part in this study remained in regular contact with the researchers for a year after the media intervention diet was introduced and "the children in the intervention group demonstrated significantly less aggression and more prosocial behavior compared to the control group, and the effect lasted throughout the 12 months."

"It's not just about turning off the television. It's about changing the channel," concludes Dr. Christakis. He urges all parents to stage a similar media diet intervention by keeping a diary to track what kids are viewing, choosing less violent programming and watching alongside their children so that they're aware of show content.

I usually brace myself for bad news when I read studies on TV time, but this one actually helps ease my guilty conscience. Like most kids, mine watch their fair share of TV. While I'm not always militant about cutting their screen time, I do try to keep a close eye on what they're watching, making sure it's not scary or violent or — particularly for my 6-year-old, who's starting to show some interest in Hannah Montana and the like — just too mature. And every time my girls tackle a problem with an Imagination Movers-inspired "idea emergency" fix, I like to tell myself that TV may not be all bad.

Do you see anything positive about your kids' favorite TV shows?

More great reads from BabyCenter:
Kim Kardashian Braves a Pregnant Bikini Photo Shoot
Would You Leave Your Child Home Alone?
10 Secrets to Raising Awesome Kids
A Love-Hate Relationship With Pregnancy
Is This What We Want Motherhood to Look Like?