LilSugar

Family Ties: Mother or Father Knows Best?

LilSugar — Fri, 22 Aug 2008 08:00:23 PDT

Co-parenting is nothing new, but when a couple juggles working full time and raising their children on their own, tag teaming becomes all the more important - or does it? For four years, my husband and I have taken care of our two kids and dual careers without enlisting childcare. While it's a dream in many ways - we've watched every milestone and been able to spend those crucial and fleeting first years with our kids, it's also a challenge.

The technical bugs like who needs to be where have been worked out, but things like laundry piles and wiping down the kitchen counters are more a matter of perspective. We have the same game plan, but play on different fields. When I'm with my son and daughter, they follow more of a routine, pick up after themselves and sit down for meals. Their daddy's agenda is completely different. The threesome spends every moment possible outside digging ditches in the dirt, climbing structures and engaging in activities that would likely give uncoordinated me a heart attack. Meals happen as they do and the same goes for cleaning up messes. But conflicting parenting styles aside, I know that splitting their time between us will make them more well rounded individuals. To find out an expert's opinion,

read more. A recent segment on Good Morning America covered this issue. Moms and dads are typically different, but experts seem to think the contrasts have little effect on the children. It said:

"The bottom line for children is, 'I don't have just one and a half person who is nuts about me. I have two and they are kind of nuts about me in interesting ways. They bring out different parts of me,'" explains Kyle Pruett, M.D., a child psychiatrist and the author of "Father Need: Why Father Care Is as Essential as Mother Care for Your Child."

Do you and your partner's parenting styles differ? Source

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony Raise Twins On Their Own

LilSugar — Fri, 30 May 2008 12:00:54 PDT

New mama Jennifer Lopez won't be searching for a Mary Poppins to help with the daily duties of raising three-month-old twins, Max and Emme. According to Access Hollywood, the triple threat and her husband, Marc Anthony are doing something rather unconventional when it comes to the rich and famous - juggling their careers and the tasks of child-rearing alone. He said:

“She expects me to help and she makes no bones about it,” Marc said. “I get the late shift. I get literally from 10 PM because we don’t have a nanny. It’s just me and Jennifer figuring it out. From 10 PM to 8 [AM], that’s my shift”

And, unlike many stars who hit the gym before they head to Gymboree, the actress is less concerned with her postpartum bod than bonding with her children. Marc said:

“Yeah, yes she is, but she’s more in mommy mode,” Marc said. “She has three movies lined up and she’s eager to go back to work, but the babies have been a blessing all the way around and she’s just amazing. She’s such an amazing mom and I’m so proud of her. She’s such a gem to watch.”

Do you admire the couple's decision to raise their family on their own?
Source

Fat-Proof Your Life

Health — Fri, 10 Feb 2012 04:06:06 PST

We are pumped to share one of our favorite stories from Health.com here on our site.

By Maridel Reyes

It's true that there are certain times in your life when extra poundage seems to appear out of nowhere . . . and settle on you. In fact, experts have honed in on the exact moments when you're most vulnerable to weight gain.

"Life transitions, having a baby, and going through menopause cause many women to pile on pounds," says Susan Albers, PsyD, author of But I Deserve This Chocolate!: The 50 Most Common Diet-Derailing Excuses and How to Outwit Them. "But with planning and prep, you can stay thin."

We asked top experts for their strategies to help you ward off weight creep - and even shed pounds - at these tricky stages. Solutions ahead.

Getting married

Heavier ever after? It can be the flip side of wedded bliss: "Six out of 10 of my clients come back heavier after the honeymoon," says celebrity fitness and wellness guru David Kirsch.

Health.com: 25 Diet-Busting Foods You Should Never Eat

Young newlyweds pack on an extra six to nine pounds in the five years after getting hitched compared to singletons, according to research from the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill. And most of that gain happens in the first year of marriage.

"Couples start to mirror each other's eating habits," explains Albers. "You might be matching him calorie for calorie without realizing it."

Learn how to keep the pounds down postmarriage and in the mommy years, after the break.

New Hope For Infertile Men as Scientists Grow Sperm Outside Body

Natasha Dantzig — Thu, 05 Jan 2012 03:30:51 PST

Go sperm! We tend to think of infertility mainly as an affliction of the fairer sex, but this is far from the truth: the last 50 years have seen an increase in the problem of male infertility coinciding with a huge decrease in reported sperm counts.

A major breakthrough was made recently as German and Israeli scientists grew mouse sperm outside of the body using just a few cells retrieved from the mouse's testicles. Once created, these sperm samples were tested and found to be genetically and chromosomally sound - meaning they could be used in the conception of baby mice.

Scientists are hopeful that the same techniques used to grow the mouse sperm can be applied to humans, with the life-changing result of previously infertile men being able to biologically father their own offspring.

How to Create a Financial Vision Board

LearnVest — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 00:15:40 PST

We're thrilled to present this smart LearnVest story here on Savvy!

What if there were a fun, free, creative project that could help you reach your financial goals faster?

Well, there is. And the holidays-when there’s no shortage of catalogs lying around-are the perfect time to whip out the scissors and glue, and kick off the new year right by creating a financial vision board.

What is a vision board? Basically, it’s a poster or bulletin board you fill with images and words that illustrate your ideal life. You can tear photos from magazines, put up cards or print Google images, or draw whatever it is you need.

The goal is to choose five to ten goals you want to focus on. Maybe your board will include a new job and a perfect house, a dream wedding and a healthy baby, or you, smiling because you’ve finally gotten out of debt or saved up an emergency fund. Then again, maybe it will be filled with all of the above.

The benefits of this exercise are twofold: Not only can mapping out your priorities help you determine where your money should go, tapping into your deepest desires can set you on a path to achieving what may seem out of reach today.

After all, just the simple act of writing down your goals helps you focus your energy on making them a reality.

What You’ll Need:

- Poster board or corkboard
- A glue stick or rubber cement (plain old glue tends to cause magazine pages to
ripple) or, if using cork board, thumbtacks
- Catalogs and magazines. The more variety, the better.
- Peace and quiet.

Read on to learn how to create a successful vision board.

Get Ready For Baby: 5 Helpful Baby Planning Guides

LilSugar — Mon, 17 Oct 2011 10:02:10 PDT

It's time to get ready for baby! During those nine months of pregnancy, mamas-to-be have a laundry list a mile long of things that need to get done before baby arrives - like prenatal checkups, labor and delivery classes, finding a pediatrician, and learning how to properly install a car seat, to name a few. It's easy to get overwhelmed, but mamas-to-be can get some guidance - and get organized! - with the help of these five baby planning guides covering everything from going green with baby to baby gear demystified!

Tips to Maintain (or Bring Back) the Romance in Your Marriage After Baby

Nicole Abbott — Sun, 27 Nov 2011 04:22:24 PST

Keeping the spark alive in any marriage is something that both spouses need to work hard to achieve. Add a screaming baby, two sleepless new parents, and a new daily routine that everyone is still trying to get used to, and the flames of passion can be pretty hard to ignite! We asked relationship expert Andrea Syrtash - author of Cheat On Your Husband (With Your Husband) ($11) - to give us her top three tips for keeping the romance alive after baby arrives. Check it out!

Commit to a Regular Date Night: What does not count as a date night: watching TV, running to Costco, spending the entire date talking about the baby and the bills. If your baby is too young, set special time aside at home where you can connect as lovers - not just as coparents. One couple interviewed by Andrea picked an ethnic cuisine they tried to master together each month and then ate by candlelight.
Flirt: Send a sexy or thoughtful text or email during the day to show your partner you're thinking of him, compliment how good he looks, tease your husband, resurrect a few inside jokes that used to make you laugh . . . flirt, flirt, flirt! Courtship isn't only for dating.
Have Date Talk: One study showed that the average couple with kids speaks (uninterrupted) about 15 minutes a day. With a baby, couples tend to be too tired to talk - but talking (about nonstressful topics, not household chores, in-laws, or bills!) is essential in order to keep the spark alive. Stay curious about each other and you'll stay connected.

OnSugar Blog: What Defines a Good Mother?

OnSugar Blog — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 04:21:15 PST

Lots of moms like to think out loud, and CherylDee is one of them. Here is one of the latest posts to her Lipsticks to Baby Bottles blog.

Compared to Westerners and Europeans, Asians tend to be more closed-minded. Even speaking about sex is such a taboo. Seeing young parents, especially mothers here, are somewhat frowned upon. Whereas I find it tends to be slightly more accepted in places out of Asia.

I wouldn't say I had a very traditional Asian upbringing. I mean I'm sure most of you have heard stories about how in Asian homes, children stay in their family home till they marry. As for me, I moved out of mine at 18. Anyways, what all this brings me to is that, I've been able to make my own decisions and live by them. Some were not so good decisions but as the saying goes, "If I could make my own bed, I jolly well better be able to lie in it".

Now that I am a mother, the decisions I make don't only matter to me but to this little girl, whom I owe my all to give her all the world has to offer. What really annoys me about living here in Singapore, is that people can be so bleedy vocal about their opinions! And I am not only talking about people whom I know personally! I've had the displeasure of meeting such people either in the streets, or in another 'hot-spot', the trains!

I don't need some random stranger to tell me how, I as a parent, should raise my child! People look at me and know that I am a young mother. But that does not give you any right to assume that I am not a good parent!

I remember having some lady tell me that I should not breastfeed my child because god knows what I eat and that may not be good for my daughter. How formula milk is so much better. Hello, what century are you in? It is encouraged around the globe that breastfeeding is highly recommended!

Keep reading to see more of CherylDee's thoughts on young mothers.

Getting Back on Budget: How to Escape a Downward Spiral

LearnVest — Wed, 19 Oct 2011 00:15:02 PDT

We're thrilled to present this smart LearnVest story here on Savvy!

I recently fell off my budget-or, rather, got pushed off by a large, unexpected expense at the dentist’s office.

I negotiated a payment plan so I wouldn’t have to pay more than $1,000 all in one go, but that night, as I was walking home, I became really irritated about the payments I’d have to make for the next few months.

Then, I saw-and was lured into-one of my favorite New York City institutions, the Strand bookstore, whose memorable tagline is “18 Miles of Books.”

That’s 18 miles of used books. Used books are cheap, right? Cheap.

That’s what I told myself as I proceeded to walk out with $75 worth of new reading material.

As I walked home, I thought, “I’m so far down the hole already anyway, what’s another $75?”

It turns out that this is a common way of thinking-about budgets, diets (“I already gorged on that cake last night, so what’s a little cookie?”), exercise (I already missed two workouts, who cares if I miss a third?) and more. But a few easy tricks-and our easy-to-use, goal-setting calculator below-can lift anyone out of a damaging downward spiral. If you want to jump right in to calculating how you can undo any damage you’ve done, scroll down.

First, let’s figure out why so many of us fall prey to downward spirals in the first place.

Why We Dig Ourselves Deeper in a Hole

Carmen Wong Ulrich, personal finance expert and author of “The Real Cost of Living,” says that once people fall off their budgets, they feel helpless. “You’re beyond the point of seeing yourself getting out. The pit is so big, it’s exhausting to look at, and that exhaustion wears down your ability to make a good decision.”

It’s a sad fact: Once one financial defeat saps our energy and willpower, we tend to make yet another bad decision, which makes us feel even worse, engendering yet another budget-busting decision, and so on. (A lot of it comes down to the psychology of sunk costs.)

So, how do you reverse course?

Read on to find out.

Fact: You Wear Perfume to Make Your BO Even Stronger

Miriam Lacey — Mon, 10 Oct 2011 14:22:36 PDT

Ever wondered why other people are so bad at picking out perfume for you, or how you just instinctively know when a scent is "right"? New research from Charles University in Prague suggests that we pick scents to amplify our body odor, not cover it up. And since every person's BO is unique (like a grimy, noisome snowflake), other people tend to do a bad job of picking scents for us, while we almost immediately know which ones will work.

Why on earth are we doing this in the first place, though? To find the right mate, of course. Our sweat broadcasts a bunch of signals about everything from our health to what kind of immune protections we have. People with different-but-not-too-different immune complexes produce the healthiest babies, so we're always trying to sniff out that special someone who has everything we need: good health, a great smile, and that bubonic plague immunity gene we're missing.