LilSugar

Mommy Dearest: Babysitter Leaving, but Offers Sister to Sit

LilSugar — Sun, 23 Aug 2009 04:00:24 -0700

Mommy Dearest,

Our babysitter is a local college student and we really like her. Sadly, she is going to be studying abroad for her Fall semester this year. She told us that her younger sister, who is still in high school would be interested in sitting for us while she is gone. The sister is coming with our babysitter while she watches our daughter this weekend so we can meet the potential replacement and she can get to know our daughter. Should I pay the younger sister for her time?

I don't feel like it's fair for her to give up a few hours of her time without getting paid, but at the same time, it seems ridiculous to pay double our rate which would total $40 an hour for an extra person who isn't technically needed at the time. I've also thought about splitting the money somehow, but I am not sure if that would be appropriate.

- Figuring Out Finances For Sitters

To see the response from Mommy Dearest, read more.

Figuring Out Finances For Sitters,

I agree that paying twice as much for two sitters to watch one child is ridiculous. I babysat for lots of families while going through high school and college and never charged anyone to go over and meet their kids. Employers don't pay job candidates to interview and I view this in the same vein. Considering this is somewhat of a working interview, perhaps you can offer the younger sister $20 as a nice gesture and pay your normal sitter in full.

- Mommy Dearest

Tell Mommy: Would You Rather an Au Pair or Nanny?

babysugar — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 09:30:28 -0700

Ever wondered what the difference is between an au pair and a live-in nanny? They both live in the family's home and care for their children. So why different names? A French term, "au pair" is defined as:

A usually young foreign person who cares for children and does domestic work for a family in return for room and board and the opportunity to learn the family's language.

Based on my experience, au pairs are generally between the ages of 18 and 26 and often take classes in their new home land to help soak up the culture. Au pairs are typically offered a temporary arrangement and limited to one to two years away from their original country, which is tough on host families as they have to replace their au pair on an annual basis. A mother's helper to boot, they provide child care and help keep a clean house in exchange for room and board and a decided allowance. Host families usually pay a significant fee to an au pair placement agency that can cost up to $7,000. As one might expect, the young woman has scheduled personal time when she can do as she pleases.

Families who hire a live-in-nanny have many of the same benefits of an au pair, but the "hiring" process, prerequisites, payment and longevity vary. Live-in-nannies are not required to take child care classes or speak the family's language. However, off time is often more flexible with a nanny and they quickly become another member of the family as they begin to blend into the flow after many years of employment.

Tell mommy, would you rather an au pair or a nanny live with you?

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Interview Tips For Hiring a Caretaker

LilSugar — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 12:30:18 -0700

Once a family has decided that hiring a nanny is the right childcare choice for their lifestyle, parents must set out to find the ideal caretaker to fit their needs and parenting style. While some mamas count on agencies, friends and relatives to provide them with leads, others visit the local playground to speak with other nannies about friends looking for jobs, or take to the web in search of the ideal candidate.

With a list of names in hand, it is time to start interviewing them to see just how well the candidate meshes with your family. To see my checklist of must-ask questions that should help narrow down the process, read more.

How long have you been a nanny?
Why did you choose this profession?
What do you like least about your job?
Why did you/or do you want to leave your last/current job?
How old were the children you last cared for?
What philosophies/rules have you witnessed in previous jobs that you would replicate?
Do you have any formal childcare training?
Are you willing to follow our lead, even if you disagree?
Do you like to stay at home or do you like to play at other's homes?
How would you describe a typical day with a child the same age is mine?
How do you discipline children?
Are you willing to do light housework/cleaning while my child is sleeping?
Do you cook? Will you be willing to cook for my child?
Are you trained in CPR and first aid and are your certifications up-to-date? If not, are you willing to take the class on your own time?
Do you smoke?
What would you do if my child were sick or had an accident?
Do you have children of your own? If so, what are your backup care plans should he get sick?
What do you like to do in your spare time?
Do you have school or professional plans beyond being a nanny?
Where do you live and how will you get to work?
(If nanny will be transporting your child in a car) How is your driving record? Is your car maintenance up-to-date?
How flexible is your schedule? Would you be available nights and weekends? Could you accompany us on family vacations?

In addition to these questions, parents should be prepared to ask specific questions about any concerns they have regarding their child's own needs, as well as their own. Parents also usually have a gut reaction to the person sitting before them, and can feel if she is going to fit in with them.

If you have any additional must ask questions, tell us in the comments below!

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Tending to Baby: Big-City Mishap Leaves Child Alone on Bus

babysugar — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 10:30:07 -0700

City living certainly has its advantages - a bevy of nice restaurants, concerts, theater, diversity, museums, and culture. But today I witnessed one of my biggest fears come true. As I sat on my bus into work, two teachers boarded with 30 sixth grade students in tow. One of the teachers and I chatted about their excursion - a trip to the film festival! What 12-year-old wouldn't die to skip a day of classes for an animated movie? All excited and ready for their adventure, the entire class exited at the last nonexpress stop, which means the bus was headed downtown without any more stops for at least another two miles or fifteen minutes. As we pulled away, I watched the teacher lining the students up hoping to count off quickly. After a few minutes of zoning out on my Blackberry, I looked up and noticed a young girl with her nose buried in her book. I quickly asked her, "Weren't you supposed to get off at that last stop? She looked around and then with a frightened face mumbled, "I think so." My heart dropped. To see what happened, read more.

I yelled to the bus driver and requested he make an atypical stop. Everyone else around us immediately clued in on the mishap. One woman said, "I'll take her back. I've got her." I told her which theater they were headed to and off they went. Thanks to a kind woman and an understanding bus driver, this child was not left behind. Or at least not for long.

In the meantime, I keep thinking to myself, "What if that happened to my kid?!" Certainly worse things can happen, but now it's just another fear planted in my heart. Part of living in a metropolis is dealing with crowds, public transportation, and busy streets. However, it gives me comfort to know that in a big city, there are small villages that pitch in to help raise and care for the children.

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Mommy Dearest: Friend Doesn't Pay Babysitter's Fee

babysugar — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 08:00:00 -0700

Mommy Dearest,

A friend and I occasionally use the same babysitter when we spend an afternoon together. Like many nanny share situations, we split the rate in half making it less expensive for us both. The sitter's rate to watch one child is $15 and $20 to watch two. The days and times are not set in stone, but my friend usually drops her child off at my house one or two afternoons a week so we can lunch or take an afternoon excursion. When she picks up her daughter, she sometimes gives me the money to give to the sitter, but often claims that she will "get me next time."

While I don't want to seem rude or stingy, I've been stuck paying her portion of the bill several times. Not wanting to ruffle any feathers, I haven't asked her to reimburse me. Is there a way I can do this tactfully while making it known that I don't want it to happen again?

- Seeking Fee Equality

To see the response from Mommy Dearest, read more.

Seeking Fee Equality,

It seems your friend has put you in a pickle. What started out as a convenient and fun exercise of frugality has turned into a more expensive and stressful situation for you. Your friend, however, is making out like a bandit! To take the pressure off of you and bring the equality back to the table, try these tips.

Before heading back to the house, ask her if she needs to stop and get money for the sitter. You may also suggest your pal have a conversation with the caretaker about how the nanny prefers payment - daily, weekly, bi-weekly, etc. If she continues to falter at payment time, ask her to pick up your lunch tab or pay your portion of the care since she owes you one. She will get the hint that sticking the bill to you is not kosher. If she continues to skip out on the finances, I would propose she hire another nanny altogether.

- Mommy Dearest

Submit a question for this feature at the Mommy Dearest Group on TeamSugar.

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Yea or Nay on Nanny Contracts?

babysugar — Sun, 19 Apr 2009 05:00:46 -0700

While I think parenting is the toughest full time job, I believe nannying is a close runner-up. Nannies often do what moms and dads are too tired or busy to do. When a mom finds a good one, she may very well welcome him or her into the home as another family member.

To ensure everyone is getting what they want and are financially entitled to, many families and caretakers sign a contract outlining hours, days, time off, sick days, taxes and household duties. While I love my nanny, I'm not sure I want to be locked into anything so concrete. So far, so good... knock on wood. What say you on the nanny contract: yea or nay?
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Do You Drop In Unannounced on Your Nanny or Babysitter?

LilSugar — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 10:00:13 -0700

When The Hand That Rocks The Cradle is in the back of a mama's mind, it can be stressful to find a trustworthy caregiver for her child. After hiring your babysitter or nanny, did you drop in unannounced from time to time to check things out?

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Relieved or Peeved That Octuplet Mom Is Accepting Help?

LilSugar — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 07:00:51 -0700

While Nadya Suleman's decision to have so many children is controversial, the welfare of her octuplets as well as her six older kids had much of the public worried. The mama of 14 recently announced on the Dr. Phil Show that she will be accepting round-the-clock help from Angels in Waiting, a nonprofit charitable organization. What's your opinion on this?

Do You Expect Grandparents to Pitch In?

LilSugar — Fri, 06 Mar 2009 08:00:55 -0800

Grandparents have often been portrayed as the family members who provide "intergenerational care" to cut down costs or offer their two cents in child rearing even when it's not solicited. But, a recent New York Times article focused on an emerging new type of grannies and gramps - those who can't be bothered. Done raising their own children, the mature men and women are no longer about sacrificing their time and energy to focus on tots. And, many of their offspring are put off or hurt by their attitudes.

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Mom Reported to Military Duty With Kids in Tow

LilSugar — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 07:00:54 -0800

North Carolina mom Lisa Pagan is going to be given some type of an honorable discharge after she reported for military duty with her two young children. The mama of Elizabeth, 5, and Eric, 3, has been out of service for the past four years and said she has no one to care for her children if she is shipped out as her husband travels for business. Do you think military moms deserve exemptions for this reason?