LilSugar

Family Ties: Happy Fourth of July

LilSugar — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 06:00:24 -0700

The Fourth of July brings out the kid in everyone. Growing up in San Francisco, we had our annual fireworks display. My grandparents would walk from their house next door armed with the biggest box of fireworks you could buy from a portable stand and extra sparklers for us kids. After dinner and a patriotic dessert, my dad, the master of ceremonies would line the edge of the lawn with collapsible chairs and organize our arsenal of pretty explosives. It was a chaotic, yet choreographed affair, with my father sporadically freaking out when my grandfather who loved his cocktails, would get close enough to ignite himself.

As my sisters and I sat holding our sparklers at safe distances, my brother, the eager apprentice watched my dad ignite towers, screamers and spinners, not knowing the practice would become illegal before he got a chance to light a wick. One after the other, we'd watch colorful fire shower above our heads and basketball hoop, believing that the small show in our backyard, interrupted by, "Dad, get out of the way," "Ooh" and "Ah" and the whooshing of the hose spraying down the greenery between explosions rivaled the big displays around the rest of the country.

Enjoy the holiday with your family!
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What Was Your Child's First Sign of Independence?

LilSugar — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 04:00:00 -0700

The sign of an accomplished mother is an independent child. Like mama birds encouraging their babies to fly the nest, you put time, effort and love into your kids so they will be able to fend for themselves. When did you first realize your child didn't need you as much?
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Lil Tip: Independence Day

LilSugar — Mon, 30 Jun 2008 09:00:00 -0700

To Americans, the Fourth of July means independence so this week lilsugar will be giving you some quick tips on how to teach your tots to do things on their own. Accomplishing small tasks gives even the littlest of children a sense of pride. And, many of them can be incorporated in the things you do on a daily basis. Here are some ways to include your toddler.

Let them open and close all doors.
Have them climb into their carseat on their own.
Allow them to click the garage door open and turn lights on and off.
Have them put all the laundry in the basket.
Put them in charge of getting ingredients out of the refrigerator.
Encourage them to put on their own shoes, socks and clothing.

How do you encourage your kids to be independent?
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Eight Things LilSugar Readers Want to Do in Private

LilSugar — Tue, 16 Mar 2010 11:00:00 -0700

Moms love their kids but that doesn't mean they don't miss privacy in certain circumstances. The other day we put a wish list together of 10 things we'd love to do alone again and LilSugar mamas chimed in. Here are their simple dreams for solo time!

Girl Jen said:

To put on makeup without having to worry about a two-year-old experimenting with the long-wear lipstick or the eye pencils.

To get in the car without having to play the "I got Mom's seatbelt!" game, even once.

To clean the living room without tripping over toy emergency vehicles because said two-year-old took Mom seriously when Mom said the living room was a HAZMAT scene.

amandachalynn said:

Mine is simple. I just want to get dressed without the kid bursting in. I might have to start locking the door, because yesterday when he did it I was facing the closet and he says 'Mom why are you're underwear up your butt? Are they broken?' When they start asking questions, it's time to put up the boundaries.

To see what else readers had to say, read more.

boogs mom said:

To eat a meal that is still hot, instead of having to get up 40 millions times for things (drink, napkins, new fork because "mine fell on the floor!".

To read a book with out having to try and explain every little thing about it or feel guilty about not reading "read this to your kids and they will become independent geniuses" instead.

To sit on the computer without having little fingers poke at the keys while you read/type.

Walk past the cereal/frozen foods isle without hearing "mmmmmooooooommmmmm can we.....".

Making Room For an Adopted Family Member

LilSugar — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:00:25 -0700

Newborn adoptees can be anywhere from hours to weeks old when placed with the families that will raise them so the process is similar to bringing home a baby from the hospital. Moms and dads who opted for an international adoption process or are adopting older children may be faced with some challenges as all parties mesh into a family. Here are some tips for easing that transition.

Make the child's room a safe place for them by surrounding them with familiar sights, be it photos of their hometown, a favorite stuffed animal or blanket they brought with them, or CDs filled with music they may have listened to prior to entering your life.
Give the child time to understand who the new family is before allowing others to spend excessive amounts of time in your home. Avoid overnight guests for the first month or so until the tot is comfortable with the people he sees on a daily basis.
Many internationally adopted tots were not properly nourished in their birth countries and can take to sneaking and hiding food out of fear. Allow them to keep some snacks in their room to help establish trust and show them how easily accessible the kitchen is at all times.
Give the child choices in terms of the food that she eats and the clothes that she wears. Initially she may feel that she was forced into this new relationship. By giving her choices, she will feel that she has some control of her situation.

Families of adoptees will experience the same joys and frustrations of other parents throughout their lives, but they will also face some unique challenges, particularly if their children are from different backgrounds. For tips on how to handle these situations, read more.

Study the cultural holidays of your child's native country and incorporate them into your own life – be it Chinese New Year, Korea's Children's Day, or the country's independence day.
Expand your culinary horizons and learn to make some popular dishes from the tot's birth country.
Consider learning the language of the adoptee's birth country, or better yet, learn it with your child.
Be prepared for a lifetime of insensitive questions from outsiders who want to know why your child looks different than you and even how you came by your child.
Consider taking a trip to your child's birth country and help them trace their roots. Inevitably, your child will want to know more about where they came from and such a trip can be educational and inspiring for everyone involved.

What to Pack in Mama's Beach Tote

babysugar — Mon, 18 May 2009 12:00:00 -0700

Now that we've got the tots ready to wade in the surf, let's think about what mom needs to bring. Mums heading to the shore should be prepared for some sandy sun time while also arming themselves with sun blocking tools.

Mommy needs sunscreen. We don't want those babes to get too sun-kissed. To enjoy an exhausting day on the bay, kids need to stay hydrated and fueled. Whip up some peanut butter and jelly sammies and toss in a few pieces of fruit for an afternoon snack. Single bags of crackers and cookies are also easy to manage. Bring water or juice to wash down the tasty tidbits. To keep kiddos from getting too much of the sand in their mouths, bring a blanket to lounge and munch on and a set of wipes to rid their mitts of grains and salt water. To see what else mommy needs to toss in her tote, read more.

If the rascals need more than their natural surroundings for entertainment, toys are a must-have. Buckets, shovels, and paddle balls are always a hit. And, toss in a pack of band-aids for good measure. Don't forget a few things for mommy - a wide brimmed sunhat with a fab pair of shades will keep her looking young despite braving UV rays.

Give children the chance to show their independence by having them carry their own bag of goodies - a sun hat, flip-flops, shovels and sunglasses.

Parenting Q&A: Getting Son Dressed Is Causing Such Distress!

LilSugar — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 08:00:48 -0800

Q. My two-year-old hates getting dressed. It’s a daily struggle to get him into pants and a shirt. Why did this happen so suddenly, he never minded being outfitted before?

A. The job of a two-year-old is to establish independence from mommy and daddy. The job of mommy and daddy is to help him understand boundaries and ground rules so his new found need to be independent isn’t harmful. Why so sudden the Tim Gunn attitude? Because he just realized he has the magical power of Choice.

To see the rest of Lonna's answer, read more.

Go ahead, let him choose, but set those choices up for him. Only provide pants, shirts and socks you approve of and let him choose from those. Get the Spiderman costume out of the closet for a while if he’s choosing that for school. The teachable moment here is in telling him there are appropriate clothes for home and appropriate clothes for the outside world. Give him plenty of examples, would he wear his bathing suit in the snow? Would mommy wear her PJ’s to work? Parents should not be afraid to be firm with clothing rules. It isn’t a fashion judgment - it is a part of being in the real world. Most people frown upon anyone in sleepwear in public. If he throws a fit then the plans for the day are put off until he wears appropriate clothes.

- Lonna Corder

Parenting expert and Montessori school director, Lonna Corder has been doling out advice for 25 years as a teacher, parent/child consultant and on television. For more information, visit lonnacorder.com.

If you're at your wit's end about an issue and want another take on the situation, private message your question to lilsugar. We'll be running this feature all week!

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Interview with Imagination Movers: Disney's Amazing Dad Band

LilSugar — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 08:00:27 -0800

Disney's hottest dad act, the Imagination Movers encourage friendship, creativity, and thinking while they get kids up off the couch. You may assume this is just another example of the Mouse's Midas touch, but it's more. The four friends (three of which are fathers to a combined nine children) have a back story beginning in New Orleans that will have parents pushing their tots in front of the television as the band's message is genuine. Rich Collins (Mover Rich) explained, "We weren't four guys that went and auditioned and got put on a show. There's history that makes us what we are." I had the opportunity to sit down with the foursome (Collins, Scott Durbin, Dave Poche, and Scott "Smitty" Smith) recently in San Francisco. To see how Hurricane Katrina altered their lives and led them to become male role models on the Disney channel, read more.

lilsugar: How did you guys go from being an architect, a firefighter, a teacher and a journalist to having a kid's band?
Dave: We wanted to make quality music for kids because we had children who were steeped in the whole world of entertainment and a lot of what we saw was cartoons and puppets. We brought it back to what we had grown up with - Mr. Rogers and Captain Kangaroo. Mr. Rogers had just passed away and we thought there was a void and decided to take a shot at doing something about it. So we got together - four goofy dads who had an idea and here we are years later and it's turned into something that is of value.
Scott: Actually, the initial idea was local in New Orleans and then low and behold what we created resonated with people and we were tenacious about its development and were fortunate that Disney came and saw us at Jazz Fest. We played our set and started talking about doing a show together and had this concept and that's how it was born.

lilsugar: Did you guys quit your day jobs as touring and doing a show must take up the majority of your time?
Dave: When we started it was a hobby. We'd put the kids to bed and meet. At first, it was in my built out attic room and we'd be there from like nine at night until 12 or one in the morning a few days a week and brainstorm and work. Then, the music took on a life of its own. We made three independent CDs and a DVD and started playing shows. The business needed attention so Rich was the first one to quit and make the full time leap. Then, three years ago Katrina came. Once that happened we lost three of our four homes and Smitty was a firefighter.
Smitty: I still am a New Orleans firefighter, I'm just on leave of absence.

lilsugar: When you lost your homes, did you go stay with family and then reconnect later?
Rich: So the flood came and the three of us lived in one neighborhood (Smitty lived in a drier part of town) so our houses got completely flooded and were under eight feet of water for weeks and our office, Mover stuff and instruments - it was all gone. So we were all in our cars with the kids and the cat and the computer and a few pieces of clothing and a couple of pictures you saved and we were literally refugees, but it's funny. It's not funny really, but there was a day or two after when we were all holed up in different cities and hotels and things and we started communicating via text because we had a show booked that next Saturday in Dallas. And, so I was like - can you get there? Can we do this show?
Dave: I was sitting on the steps of a hotel in Houston, my kids were in bed and I'm exhausted outside with my wife and we're texting because that's the only way you can communicate. I looked at my phone and it was Tuesday or Wednesday and he's like so are we still playing Dallas Saturday? Saturday, I was in Dallas. We realized what else are we gonna do? We will have a hotel room there. I don't know if I have a job, I don't know where anybody is, and there's a small fee out there and I've got an obligation. Not knowing where anything was or where money was gonna come from, we went. People loaned us instruments.
Rich: Scott bought some replacement suits - I was wearing my old glasses. We were like refugee performers - so a bad thing happened and that's kind of a symbol for what happened in the bigger picture. We were totally thrown off of our routines, but quickly realized that there was this huge community of Movers fans in New Orleans and around the south who reached out to us to ask if we were okay. And to let us know, "your music was in the car and kept our kids feeling safe and please keep doing what you're doing". It was this outpouring of support. Doing the Movers gave us this safe harbor and in a bigger sense, it is what allowed us to pull ourselves up out of the storm. This is maybe getting a little too grand, but we managed to get the deal with Disney and bring the production of the show to the city. It was the lifeline for us and for our families to get the show going, but we're now employing more than one hundred people for seven months at a time when we do the show. It's a huge boost for the local film community.

lilsugar: No matter what happens, you're staying in New Orleans?
Smitty: New Orleans is a small town, we grew this thing from nothing. People would tell us that this was their sense of normalcy and for us this became the thing we rallied around to lift ourselves up.
Scott: The one guy who didn't lose his home, Smitty, penned the lyrics to the song, We Got Each Other which was probably the first recorded song in New Orleans after Katrina and was on our Eight Feet album.
Dave: You might lose your tangible things, but you've still got your family and friends and support.
Smitty: I didn't lose my house and none of my family died or anything, but as a fireman, for two weeks straight we banded together and relied on one another for our lives. That was part of that song too. It was pretty tough, but I think out of all that, here comes this good thing.
Scott: Our lives turn on a dime. We were professionals working jobs and then we were standing in line for welfare or to get food stamps. It was just a real experience.

Courtesy of Disney

Parenting Q&A: When Is My Child Ready For Preschool?

LilSugar — Fri, 06 Feb 2009 08:00:00 -0800

Q. How do I know when my child is ready for preschool? Is there a certain age when we should sign my daughter up or is it more about her social and intelligence levels?

A. An entire book could be written on this topic, but let me break it down simply. Consider your community. If you live in a city were one must go to private elementary school then preschool is needed. Where your child goes will depend on the philosophy you like and the hours you are interested in. If you live in a town where your child will attend the neighborhood public school then you have more freedom. You can consider how much exposure they will have to other children through parks or short classes. If you have the knowledge and patience to teach your child counting, sound recognition, science experiments and take them to the playground-then keeping your child home is a fantastic choice.

To read the rest of Lonna's answer, read more.

Once you hand your child over to a school, someone else is influencing them so carefully choose that person. The right preschool will present itself and feel right to you. You should begin to observe when your child is a baby and think of starting him anytime from two to three-years-old. Look for short days where the teachers are well educated and enthusiastic. Look for a program you would love to take part in. If your child is ready they will be happy to explore for a few hours a day which will launch them well on their way to being independent.

- Lonna Corder

If you're at your wit's end about an issue and want another take on the situation, private message your question to lilsugar.

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Interview With Michelle Duggar: Mother of 18 Children (PART III)

LilSugar — Sun, 25 Jan 2009 06:00:45 -0800

One Duggar flies the coop and another arrives! The large family known for their TLC show, The Duggars: 17 and Counting has had an eventful year. First born Joshua got married in September. (Tune in tonight to watch the wedding, which includes the 21-year-old's first kiss with his wife, Anna.) Then just before Christmas, baby Jordyn made her debut as number 18!

Despite their hectic lives and sleep deprivation, parents Jim Bob and Michelle took time to write a book, The Duggars: 20 and Counting! and carved time out of their schedules to talk to me about it. While their oldest son settles down to start a life and family of his own, Jim Bob and Michelle still have plenty of charges. They shared their thoughts on the future and how they are preparing their offspring for the real world. Aside from helping build the home they live in, the Duggar kids have been taught everything from plumbing to tile work and learned about politics while sitting in on committee meetings when their father was a state legislator in Arkansas. Other youngsters have the business inkling having built and sold bikes and eventually motorized vehicles for as long as their parents can remember.

lilsugar: Josh is now married and living with his wife, but in regards to your other children at what age would you encourage them to move out and become independent?

To see their answer and thoughts on modest dressing and setting their girls up for success, read more.

Jim Bob Duggar: When each of our children move out really has to do with what the Lord has in store for their lives. I would not want a married son or daughter living with us I mean unless it was a crisis type situation. I'd want them to have their own place because they are their own family unless maybe at an older age we may be living with them (laughs).
Michelle Duggar: At this point, I don't think we have anyone who wants to get out and thinks we're driving them nuts. Even Josh and Anna, they come this way and accompany us on some trips.
Jim Bob Duggar: As far as my children, my goal, especially for my sons is to be able to develop skills so they can hopefully provide for their families in the future. I also want my daughters to develop skills so they can provide if they had to. Some of my daughters may get nursing degrees. My sons, it really depends on their interests. My second oldest son (John-David) really wants to be a pilot so instead of him moving out on his own and spending all his money on paying for his apartment and expenses, I'd rather him go and save up and get his pilot's license and then start saving up for a house or make some kind of investment in business where he doesn't have any overhead so he can save up money and really get a good start.
Michelle Duggar: We taught our children from the very beginning that you never stop learning in life. School is never over. When you have that perspective, it's not the traditional way of viewing it. There are people who are out there and they are professionals at what they do and if you are a hard worker and have good character - are honest, responsible - there's many people that would be glad to have someone like that to work along side them. You can gain skills while you are being paid. A lot of trades, you may decide you like this right now, but go to work with somebody who does that and you'll find out if you really like it. There's so many people who go to college and turn right around and not use what they went to college for and this way, you're thinking it through.

lilsugar: In such a progressive society where many parents, especially mothers, are encouraging their daughters to be tough enough to make their own way in the world, your show often features your girls taking the homemaker and child rearing roles. Do you think they will be able to provide for themselves if they don't marry?

Michelle Duggar: Our girls are go-getters. No matter what, I know they could do that if they wanted to or needed to, but in their hearts, they would love to marry and lord willing if they had children to stay at home and raise their families. I've got a couple of them talking about going for their real estate licenses and about getting their CDL licenses because they want to be able to drive some of our big equipment. Believe me, my girls are not Namby Pamby. They've got goals and the desire to do things.

lilsugar: Do any of the girls object to the modest clothing? I liked Jessa's quote in the book that said teenagers all wear the same thing and nobody is bothered by it.

Michelle Duggar: We do a lot of that the perms and make-up. I think it was our producer who said the girls have sort of their own thing going, it's a "modern modest". That's a good way to dub it I guess. I told my kids, (growing up) I mowed the lawn in a bikini and had no idea what I was doing to my neighbor's husband across the street. No wonder the woman hated our family - you know? And, I think I had no clue as far as the responsibility I had in that the way I dressed caused men to have struggles. They (the girls) want to dress modest to draw attention to their face and not the other parts of their bodies that seem to be uncovered now a days. As far as wearing dresses, skirts and things, that was a conviction that the Lord placed on my heart and he knew the struggles of my heart from growing up Whether my girls continue that in their lives, it's up to them.

Check out what Michelle had to say about feeding her large family, shedding the baby weight and her basic beauty secrets. If you missed the first portion of the interview, check out these posts. For more information on the Duggars, check out their website.

Courtesy of TLC