LilSugar

Fighting Words from Anderson Cooper: Are Stay-at-Home Moms Lazy?

Natasha Dantzig — Wed, 11 Jan 2012 11:20:40 PST

Oh, Anderson. Generally a bastion of solid journalism and insightful commentary, Anderson Cooper seems to have taken a cue from the talk show circuit with one of his recent shows, pitting stay-at-home moms against their work-outside-the-home counterparts.

The show's clearly-for-ratings title - "Are Stay-at-Home Moms Lazy?" - is drawn from the outburst of one of the guest moms, who declares that women who stay at home with their kids use it as "almost an excuse to be lazy." Anderson follows up this evolved comment with an insightful, "You're saying that stay-at-home moms are lazy?!"

The whole point of the show was to discuss a controversial new study claiming that moms who work outside the home are happier than those who stay at home with their lil ones. Surprise, surprise, the guests weren't able to come to any sort of consensus. Understandably, people aren't pleased with the show's topic and especially not with its producers' choice of title, and they are blogging up a storm about it - which is probably exactly the point. Well played, Mr. Cooper. Welcome to daytime TV.

Is it me, or does this whole argument feel a bit dated? Aren't moms over-judging each other like this?

Say What? More Moms Are Moonlighting as Sex Phone Operators

Natasha Dantzig — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 11:52:41 PST

What are you wearing? Making ends meet is becoming increasingly challenging for many Americans, including many single moms, who will do just about anything to keep their families afloat. For some stay-at-home-moms that includes taking work of a slightly scandalous nature - as a sex-phone operator.

A Good Morning America story about the stay-at-home-mom as sex phone operator phenomenon reported that the number of women with young children doing this type of work has increased 400 percent over the past 18 months. Thanks to a dismal economy, high childcare costs, and the difficulty of finding decent, well paying jobs that allow women to be home with their kids, the sex phone business is just too lucrative to walk away from for many women, despite their conflict about verbally fulfilling the fantasies of strangers while their lil ones are asleep down the hall.

Would you ever consider this type of work? Or judge someone who does?

How Wanting It All Can Make You Unhappy

LearnVest — Fri, 23 Sep 2011 00:15:27 PDT

We're thrilled to present this smart LearnVest story here on Savvy!

Are you ready for this?

Back in the ’70s, all we wanted was to “have it all.” A happy marriage, a good job, healthy kids - and a little bit of work/life balance. Ever since, working moms have put up the good fight, struggling to juggle a career and a home life without dropping the ball (any ball!).

Now a new study suggests women who want it all - and believe it’s possible to achieve - are actually unhappier. According to a study out of the University of Washington, working mothers who profess that their home and office lives can be seamlessly juggled are at a greater risk for depression than their more realistic colleagues.

In other words, the happiest working moms are “willing to let some things slide,” reports Katrina Leupp, a sociology graduate student and the study’s author.

How We Got Here

The study has tracked the same set of 1,600 married women - a mix of stay-at-home and working mothers - since they were between the ages of 14 and 22. Way back when, researchers started by asking for their reactions to a series of provocative statements, such as:

“A woman who fulfills her family responsibilities doesn’t have time for a job outside the home.”
“The employment of wives leads to more juvenile delinquency.”

Now, as adults, Leupp analyzed the women’s answers, as well as their comparative levels of depression (while controlling for marital happiness and hours worked). Her calculations turned up two key findings: First, the research confirmed earlier studies, which have shown that moms who are employed generally report better mental health than their stay-at-home counterparts. On the other hand, working moms who attempt to achieve Supermom status-in other words, those who try to have it all, without admitting that it’s difficult - are more likely to exhibit symptoms of depression.

Read on to find out what it means.

Should Breast Pump Parts Be Hidden in the Workplace?

Rebecca M Gruber — Mon, 11 Jul 2011 10:01:28 PDT

Just how offensive is the lowly breast pump? After years of neglect, the US government is finally making breastfeeding a national issue, requiring employers of large companies to provide new moms with dedicated time and space for pumping (not including the bathroom, and issuing a report outlining steps "all sectors of the community" can take to remove the hurdles women face when trying to nurse. These actions are having the desired effect, with more women trying to feed their lil one's mom's milk after they return to work.

But in a recent post to The New York Times Motherlode blog, a reader suggested that her co-workers are not adjusting with the movement as quickly as employers. She sought advice for dealing with a co-worker who was "uncomfortable" seeing the pumping mama's breast pump parts peeking out of her unzipped bag (mind you, it was tucked away in a bag, not sitting out on a desk or a sink). Commenters noted that they too had negative experiences with colleagues who didn't like to see them washing their pump parts in communal sinks, or seeing their pumped milk in the shared refrigerators. Do you agree with them?

OnSugar Blog: A Call Out For Working Moms

OnSugar Blog — Thu, 12 May 2011 03:31:13 PDT

Lots of moms like to think out loud and Loctitious Goldilocks is one of them. Here is an excerpt from her first post on her new The Mumventures of Bionic Woman blog.

So it all kicked off with my work you see, being an assistant headteacher in a secondary school has its challenges, but not the school kids. . . no, more like that work-life balance thing, so if you've cracked it please, let me know! How can I want to spend time with my sick child, who has chicken pox and in spite of this be asked to still come into work 'as it is the worst time I could be off'! Hello! Which part of sick child did you not read?

Let me see, sick child. . . work. . . sick child . . . work. . . sick child. . . yes, that's the one that resonates with me.

Nevertheless, the bit about being one of the most able and reliable members of the team did have a bit of an influence on me if I'm honest. So off I went the very next day to work, in spite of a night of broken sleep and about three hours in total of any sleep, not to mention menstrually challenged.

It was also time for our team to have residential and of course, good ole hubby had already taken time off to be with our kids so I can pursue my work, yet again. In spite of this, I was again given emails making it clear that my wanting to be at home with my sick child was not good enough, in favor of spending quality time and 'bonding' time with my colleagues (whom, by the way, I see in total of 40 hours at least per week, while I see my sons possibly . . . wait for it . . . 40 hours a week, on a good week (not counting sleeping – eyes are closed so not seeing them! Just in case you wanted to be pedantic).

It just made me mad! But being the good soldier I am, I did everything in good stead – result, work carries on... implication, hubby's life is not important enough or even considered never mind the kids. But then again, why should anyone else care but me? So I need to make a stand.

Want to see more? Start following The Mumventures of Bionic Woman! Or start your own OnSugar blog. It's easy, it's free, and we just might feature your content on our site!

OnSugar Blog: Bad Mommy, Good Employee?

OnSugar Blog — Tue, 22 Feb 2011 00:05:24 PST

Lots of moms like to think out loud, and trixie360 is one of them. Here is the latest post from her Nice Mommy, Mean Mommy blog.

Or good mommy, bad employee?

Seems like a pretty sh*tty deal if you have to choose. And choose we must.

If I were to give my job everything I'm capable of, to put every ounce of drive and passion and creative fire into my work...I'd never see my kids. If I drove my kids to every appointment, made healthy organic meals from local sources, stayed home every time someone runs a sliver of fever and gave all three of them my full attention the minute I walk through the door each night? I'd be canned within a month.

Neither of those outcomes are acceptable, so I half-do everything. Giving both my employer and my children the short end of the stick. Apparently this stick of mine has no long end.

My kids get ignored or put in front of Dora while I work on a PowerPoint deck or take a call from the office. My child-free co-workers watch me leave every day at five while they put one or two more hours in at the office. So everyone resents me, and I resent being resented.

What's the solution? Find a way to work from home? That doesn't solve the "Oh Mom's on her laptop again" issue. Get a job that doesn't require (or inspire) me to be "always on"? I can't raise kids on a retail salary - or whatever sort of job a person can just forget about between shifts.

It's frustrating because I don't see any way out. Except ceasing to care.

Want to see more? Start following Nice Mommy, Mean Mommy or start your own OnSugar blog. It's easy, it's free, and we just might feature your content on our site.

Companies Biased Against Working Moms, Are They Less Committed?

Heather Maddan — Fri, 21 Jan 2011 03:05:00 PST

When you ask a mother to choose between her child and her job, there's usually no contest. That's the maternal instinct, but should employers be blamed for taking that fact into consideration. A research firm that polled companies since the recession says that global corporations are less inclined to hire family women as of late. According to a Forbes report:

According to the survey, bias against working moms remains strong. A surprising 38% of UK companies fear that working moms are less committed and less flexible, while 31% believe they will leave shortly after training to have another child and 17% worry returning moms will have out-of-date skills.

The international numbers were strikingly similar with 36 percent of employers saying they'd hire working moms in 2011, which is eight percent less than last year.

Have You Encountered Pregnancy Discrimination in the Workplace?

Heather Maddan — Thu, 30 Dec 2010 08:00:28 PST

Starting a family isn't always sunshine and rainbows at the office. And, a mama-to-be may be grilled about her plans before she's even hired. Though 61 percent of LilSugar moms said they wouldn't tell a potential boss they were pregnant, it happens and it's illegal. According to a Reuters report:

Pregnancy discrimination claims at work are among the fastest growing category of claims reported to the EEOC. Complaints range from being fired, demoted or treated differently as a result of a pregnancy. The main source of protection from such actions is provided by the Pregnancy Discrimination Act. But employers should also implement their own policies when it comes to pregnant employees in order to ensure compliance.

Juggling Kids and Career: How Mothers Are Remembered

Heather Maddan — Wed, 15 Dec 2010 08:30:00 PST

Having kids and a career is a juggle and a struggle for moms who try and split their time and attention between the two. When a woman dies is she remembered more for having had a career or children? We asked our Facebook fans and Twitter followers. Here's what they had to say.

"That depends on the person! We won't remember most celebrities for their motherhood when they die." - Darlene C.
"I would say both." - @faziladini
"She is remembered for being a good role model. Works either way." - Janet M.
"I will always remember the sweetness in my wife's eyes and what we were to one another before children, before careers." - Corey Wing
"Depends on who is doing the remembering." - @TxTerriSweeps
"Mother." - @urmariposa
"It depends on who is remembering and where that person fit into her life. I remember my mom as a mother. She worked too, but she'll always be mom even though she's gone. For her co-workers, I'm guessing they remember her more for her career and what she was like to work with. Either way, she was a wonderful woman to everyone." - Karla D.
"Maybe celebrities are known for their contribution, but the rest of us for mothering. Good or bad (grimace)." - Pam B.
"I remember a great woman in my life-my Grandmother-for having done both-she had six children and worked by herself to raise them...it's strength that is remembered while playing either role." - Pilar M.

Do Working Moms Raise Higher-Achieving Children?

Rebecca M Gruber — Tue, 19 Oct 2010 03:00:43 PDT

Here's one less reason working moms have to feel guilty about heading to work each day. According to a review of 50 years of research, kids whose mamas worked when they were under the age of 3 were more likely to be rated as "higher-achieving" by their teachers when they were older. In addition to being a role model for young tots, working mothers tend to bring extra money into the home, which all adds up to being a positive influence on lil ones' lives. Remember that the next time your lil one asks why you have to go to work in the morning!