LilSugar

Lil Tip: Step Outside

babysugar — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 05:00:49 PDT

Occasionally my 22-month-old daughter will lose her mind over something trivial or even inexplicable. During her tantrums, I have tried to pacify her with a book, a hug, a treat or other items. When none of those work, I have discovered that a change in scenery works best.

The next time your tot throws a fit, consider changing her environment. Take her for a walk around the block or a trip to the grocery. It helps to take wee minds off of whatever was bothering them. Pretty soon, they may forget what it was in the first place.
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First Furious Fit

babysugar — Mon, 14 Apr 2008 07:00:15 PDT

They say there's a first for everything. And the other day it was my daughter's first furious fit.

Early in the day, she enjoyed breakfast followed with a hardy nap. When she woke from it, she was more like a crazed animal than my sweet daughter.

To see what happened,

Straight out of the crib, my bookworm babe repeatedly said, "Book!" so I gave her a book. She tossed it across the room and then started whaling, "Boooooooook!" Confused, I kept trying to hand her book after book.

Then, I sat her on my lap and attempted to read her favorite story. She finally calmed down a bit. Thinking the battle was over, I tried to finish dressing her. But, just as soon as the first sock went on, the tears and wails returned - only this round was worse.

Snot was draining as much as her crocodile tears. I took her to my bed in an attempt to lie down and read another book to her. She arched, screamed and writhed around until I finally gave up. Despite her saddened red face, I struggled to put socks and shoes on her tiny feet.

As soon as that task was complete, I took her outside for a walk, which always makes her happy. The fresh air and sunshine were just what the doctor ordered.

Peace was restored – eyes were dry and she was smiling from ear to ear.

I have my suspicions, but will never know what set her off.

Has this ever happened to you? What was your baby's first fit?
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Wah! Wah! Wah! Temper Tantrums Deconstructed

Natasha Dantzig — Wed, 04 Jan 2012 10:07:00 PST

Head banging. Feet stomping. Screams at maximum volume and intensity. Any parent knows these are some of the telltale signs of a dreaded temper tantrum. While many parents have resigned themselves to dealing with this unpleasant, but perfectly normal part of toddlerhood, scientists studying the meltdowns may have found ways to empower parents to help their children through the episodes, rather than just praying for them to be over.

Published in the journal Emotion, the study found that tantrums aren't simply out of control, emotional meltdowns, but rather have specific rhythms and sounds that represent distinguishable feelings. Take the following quiz to see how your tantrum knowledge stacks up against the new research, and if there are better ways to cope with the dramatic fits.

Take the Quiz

5 Things You Can Do For Your Mom This Mother's Day - and 5 She Can Do For You

Kate Stahl — Sat, 12 May 2012 05:42:34 PDT

Mother's Day is double the fun when you're a mom yourself. Not only do you get a day that celebrates you, but you have a whole new appreciation for your own mom, who definitely deserves some special attention. If you're both looking for ways to celebrate each other, consider the following 10 tips - five are just for you, and five are for her.

For You: She can offer perspective. When you're in the thick of sleepless nights, endless teething, and toddler temper tantrums, motherhood can seem overwhelming. But your mom survived it, and she can tell you how quickly "this too shall pass" and remind you to appreciate the fleeting moments.
For Her: You can allow her to revisit the early days of being a mom . . . without all the stress. Changing diapers, making bottles, and soothing baby breakdowns can actually be fun when you're grandma (or at least that's what our moms tell us), so let her step in and take a trip down memory lane.
For You: She can provide worry-free (and free!) babysitting. Grandparents are second only to you when it comes to caring about your kids. Take advantage of her desire to spend time with your lil ones and take a break!
For Her: You can give her your time. Offer to help her with a project in which you have expertise. Help her figure out that iPad or fancy camera, weed her garden, or just (finally) clean out your childhood closet.

Click here for six more Mother's Day gifts you and your mom can give each other.

When Is It Time to Give Up the Nap?

Circle of Moms — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 13:08:03 PDT

Here's another post from our friends at Circle of Moms! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and motherhood stories from our partners at Circle of Moms, including this post from Kim Westerman about giving up your toddler's nap.

It's one o'clock in the afternoon - do you know where your toddler is? All his friends are fast asleep, napping soundly after lunch. But your little one is climbing the walls, wanting to play, asking for snacks, and begging to go to the park, perhaps all at once. Sound familiar? If so, what should you do? Should you force the issue, or give in? How long should you try for a good nap routine before you throw in the towel?

Jennifer raises this very question on one of Circle of Moms' toddler communities. Her three-year-old simply will not go down without a fight. My son, also three, is very much of the little-to-no napping camp. And what I realized one afternoon after I once again resorted to bribery - and, once again, failed! - is that it was a losing battle, that for the sake of everyone's sanity I should simply stop asking Olin to nap on my schedule.

You see, Olin has resisted sleep since the day he was born. Sure, every newborn sleeps in fits and starts, but my son has always fought sleep, even before he had ideas about what else he might be doing. And when he does finally succumb, you can trust it won't be for long. Even now, he goes to sleep in his own cozy bed, but he invariably wakes up at the crack of dawn, wanting company.

My epiphany that it was okay that he isn't a napper happened as follows. We were lying in his big futon on the floor one afternoon, and I was trying to think of a bribe that might work. Would he like to watch Caillou after his nap? Get pizza for dinner? Take his balance bike up to the enclosed area at the nearby schoolyard? But even though he loves all those things, he knew he couldn't say yes to a nap. Instead, he said to me, "Mama, I'm really not tired. Could I have some quiet time reading with you instead?" It was then that it dawned on me he was not trying to wrangle out of something he honestly needed to do. He just wasn't tired, and he didn't need a nap. Period.

In fact, on rare occasions when he does need to nap, he will let me know, and while the timing isn't always convenient, this demonstrates that he isn't just being contrary. Toddlers, and kids of all ages, need different amounts of sleep per day, and at different times of their lives.

His sincere request disarmed me, and helped me realize that rest might be what we both needed more than anything. More, even, than sleep.

And so we read his favorite firefighter books, talked about what we wanted to do this weekend, and caught up in a way that wouldn't have been possible if I'd been spending all my energy getting him to sleep. It's true, I didn't get the dishes done or read a book of my own; but I had the much more delightful experience of hanging out with my son, quietly.

More great reads from Circle of Moms:
3 Reasons to Avoid Co-Sleeping
Dr. Oz on How to Deal With Temper Tantrums
8 Helpful Tips For Mother-led Weaning
The Art of Burping
25 Adoption Blogs by Parents

Top 5 Motherhood Moments You Don't Want to Miss

Circle of Moms — Thu, 29 Mar 2012 08:03:55 PDT

Here's another post from our friends at Circle of Moms! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and motherhood stories from our partners at Circle of Moms, including this post from Mary Beth Sammons about moments moms don't want to miss.

At the risk of sounding like my mom, I’ve come to realize our kids do grow up so fast. Even though some of the moments (like the teen years) can seem brutally drawn out, my mom was right. One moment, my kids were just babes in arms, and the next, they are walking, talking - and then marching on stage for their high school diplomas, hoisting a futon and my life savings into the rear of the SUV, and heading away to college. And all of these milestones have been such tearjerkers for me.

All of these moments - their first steps; their first words, etc., are events that we moms long for, but when they finally happen, we are sobbing wrecks. I've shed a bucket or two raising three kids; here are the milestones I've found to be the most emotional.

Firsts: Smiling, laughing, rolling over, talking, and walking their first year. The first smile is a moment moms dream of. I’ll never forget when my son was born, and the doctor and nurses rallied around his incubator, proclaiming, "This kid is rolling over." A jock is born, flashed through my mind. When my oldest daughter uttered, "Mama," my heart exploded with joy. And when my baby, now in college, turned her giggle into a guffaw, laughing and laughing at her siblings, it made me weep.
Hurts: Would that we could raise our kids in an emotional cocoon. The first time I realized I couldn’t protect my kids from life’s hurts took place at my oldest daughter’s 2-year-old birthday party. I remember sitting in the kitchen with the other moms and smiling with glee as pint-sized kids in costumes (her birthday falls near Halloween) raced down the hall to the bedrooms. Suddenly there was my little pink tutu-clad ballerina, and she was crying. The other kids had raced into her room and left her standing outside in the hall on the other side of the door. My heart broke, foreshadowing many heart-tugging moments to come.
School Beginnings and Endings: Nothing brings tears to a mom’s eyes like leaving a sobbing preschooler who is holding onto your arm with all his might, screaming, “Mommy, don’t leave me!" I still choke up when I revisit those first school days - and every time I walked out the door and left my toddlers with a babysitter. But then fast-forward, suddenly your youngest is decked out in cap and gown and walking down the aisle of the high school gym with a diploma in hand. Kleenex, please.
Sports Drama: Standing on the sidelines, witnessing your son wipe out on the soccer field, and accompanying him to ER with the paramedics can make a mom’s heart tremble. Comforting a daughter when she doesn’t make the tennis team cut also pains, and watching a coach scream at your kid - that one brings out the Mother Bear in me.
Departures: The hardest moments, at least for me, have been facing the "roots and wings" milestones, when it's time to let the little ones fly from the nest. All through high school and curfew violations, teen temper tantrums and dealing with moods, I thought I would welcome college. But the whole time I was setting up the Ikea-coordinated bedding and fumbling with the steel futon in my kids' new dorm rooms, then hugging them and heading home by myself, I felt differently.

I remember calling my sister after dropping off my son a couple years ago and sobbing, only to have her remind me, "You said all through high school how college couldn’t come soon enough." And yet it did.

Which milestones have been the most emotional for you?

More great reads from Circle of Moms:
Can a marriage withstand a sex slump?
Eight activities for energetic toddlers
Signs you have a strong-willed child
Ten hilarious baby onesies
How to deal with your child's back talk

A Whole Lotta Lil in This Week's Links

Rebecca M Gruber — Sat, 07 Jan 2012 04:21:54 PST

We're loving Jessica Simpson's maternity style!
Get ready to spend plenty of time in the theater with the release of great kiddie flicks in 2012.
Tight quarters in the nursery? These space-saving nursery options can help!
Don't have time to shop for maternity clothes? These online maternity shops sell the hottest styles!
Here's what we're craving this month!
Celebrate the baby-to-be with these beautiful baby shower invitations.
Decipher your tot's next meltdown with new insight into temper tantrums.
Do dads need a dudela to help them through the childbirth process?
What ever happened to the genderless baby?
Expecting? These movies about pregnancy are packed with belly laughs!

Real Mom Gift Guide: All Debra Messing Wants For the Holidays Is . . .

Rebecca M Gruber — Tue, 15 Nov 2011 08:31:18 PST

Window shopping has never been so charitable! If you happen to be doing some holiday shopping in New York City or San Francisco, take a look at the store windows you pass - some may be filled with a high-tech way for mama to do some charitable giving without ever opening her wallet. Ebay just unveiled Give-a-Toy Store interactive storefronts that allow shoppers to use their smartphones to scan QR-coded price tags to make an immediate donation to Toys For Tots.

Debra Messing, mom of 7-year-old Roman, and the upcoming star of Smash was on hand to kick off the new endeavor and spoke with me about her favorite holiday traditions.

LilSugar: With the holiday season upon us, how did you come to work with eBay on this project?
Debra Messing: The holiday season is a time when people are more inclined to give, and I just thought that eBay's initiative was so brilliant. They have this window with virtual gift tags with toys, and there are different donation amounts - there's $5, $10, $20 - you just scan your [smartphone] over the window, you're on the sidewalk, and instantly you're donating to Toys For Tots and 100 percent of the money goes to Toys For Tots. Being able to make things really quick and easy and meaningful is important.

LS: What family holiday traditions are you most looking forward to this year?
DM: We just moved back to New York, but have always had family here. We love to go skating at Wolman rink, and go see plays - musicals specifically. Waiting for the snow to come. Looking forward to putting on the snowsuit and stomping through Central Park.

LS: So much of the holiday focus is on kids. What's on your wish list this year?
DM: For me, there is no better present than a massage. Flowers are beautiful, but they die. Champagne is fun, but it's gone - very quickly. As a mom we're on 24/7, and if we're working moms, which most of us are, we're exhausted, and sleep deprived, and we don't take care of ourselves. We feel guilty if we take too much time for ourselves. It feels like an extravagance, but it really is a necessity for moms to take an hour to shut down, rejuvenate, and have someone to rub out the kinks from carrying the baby on your hip too much or whatever you're doing. My son's now at a place where he likes to jump on my body to wake me up at 6 in the morning, so I've literally got bruises all over my body.

Keep reading to see how Debra Messing our famous Four Lil Questions about motherhood!

Are Working Moms Better Bosses?

LilSugar — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 14:00:14 PDT

Reaching into a briefcase and pulling out a sippy cup instead of a document on deadline is one of the laughs a working mama endures as she juggles office tasks with raising children. Though almost three-quarters of lilsugar readers believe that working moms are treated unfairly on the job, a new book argues that being a parent may make women better bosses.

Shari Storm's Motherhood Is the New MBA: Using Your Parenting Skills to Be a Better Boss, which will be released in September, suggests that bringing the skills we develop as parents into the boardroom gives ladies the confidence to be more effective leaders. Skills like standing one's ground during a temper tantrum and using polite language make mothers more effective on the job. There are many reasons to love being a working mom, but is being a better employee one of them?

Tell Mommy: What Was Your Favorite Parenting Book?

babysugar — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 10:00:32 PDT

For their first child, many parents read a plethora of pregnancy and infant books to arm themselves with all the necessary tools of raising babe. While it's important to know about swaddling, breastfeeding, and all of those other topics touched upon in those texts, the learning curve only steepens as the child ages. As the baby grows, so does your library. To help parents navigate their way through temper tantrums, napless days, finicky eating and other typical toddler behaviors, countless authors with varying views have penned their ideas in hopes of throwing a bone to perplexed parents.

Which book helped you wade through the torrential toddler waters?

The Happiest Toddler on the Block ($16)	What to Expect the Toddler Years ($12)
The No-Cry Discipline Solution: Gentle Ways to Encourage Good Behavior Without Whining, Tantrums, and Tears ($12)	Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers ($10)
Toddler 411: Clear Answers & Smart Advice for your Toddler ($2)	The Girlfriends' Guide to Toddlers ($10)