LilSugar

Mommy Dearest: Rude to Tell That You Returned Gift?

LilSugar — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 07:00:49 PST

Mommy Dearest,

I sent my godson a scooter for his birthday and just received a thank-you note saying that he returned the present because he preferred something else. I don't mind that he exchanged the gift since I just guessed that the ride on was something a nine-year-old would like, but I thought mentioning it in the note was rather rude. We live in different states and I never would have known had he not told me. Am I right?

- Didn't Need to Know About Returned Gift

To see the response from Mommy Dearest,

Didn't Need to Know About Returned Gift,

I think the sole purpose of a thank-you note is to acknowledge a gift that has been given and show appreciation for the kind gesture. Mentioning a gift was returned or exchanged for whatever reason is not necessary unless the giver inquires about it.

- Mommy Dearest

Submit a question for this feature at the Mommy Dearest Group on TeamSugar.

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9 Ways to Earn Extra Cash When Money Is Tight

Wise Bread — Thu, 24 May 2012 11:51:58 PDT

I'm sure everyone can do with a little more cash in their wallets. Here are some great suggestions by Wise Bread for you to make extra money.

Even though I'm self-employed full-time, I'm always looking for new and exciting ways to make more money.

Earlier this year, I wrote a Wise Bread post on websites that can help you earn extra cash. More recently, I came across a blog post on Zaarly titled, "10 Ways to Make Money Without a Job." After reviewing the latter post, I thought it was time to revisit the topic and let you in on a few more ways to get paid.

The ideas that Zaarly presents are perfect for the unemployed or those who just want to pad their pockets a little more. In addition, there are moonlighting jobs that I do that I thought you should know about. Thus, if you're without a steady paycheck or you just want to build up a rainy-day stash, here are some of your options.

1. Offer Experiences to Strangers

I recently learned about a new site called Vayable, which allows people with specialized knowledge and talents, local info, and time on their hands to create experiences that others can purchase. It's basically a touring and activity company without the company. Anyone can join the site and set up an experience. For instance, the Kan Brothers offer motorcycle tours of San Francisco - which include helmet rental, a drink at a local hot spot, and a city map - for two to four people at $75 per person. In New York City, Kim G. is offering a personalized painting lesson for groups of two to six for a flat rate of $300; the experience includes acrylic paints; canvas board and supplies; studio space; wine, cheese, and crackers; and Kim’s undivided attention. Consider this tip if you're interested in joining Vayable: Browse the site to see what other people in your area are offering. By creating a unique experience that no one else has established, you have a better chance of getting booked.

Read on for more.

How Not to Destroy Your Marriage

The Good Men Project — Fri, 18 May 2012 12:30:42 PDT

We're happy to present this story from one of our favorite sites, The Good Men Project. Today, Mark Tyrrell offers eight relationship tools to make your marriage work.

"All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble." - Raymond Hull

So how do you make your marriage work? Or do you just blindly hope it'll take care of itself?

Think of a hot, successful date with someone you’re attracted to. You have fun, great conversation and more sexual chemistry than a warehouse full of pheromones. You don’t have to “work at” the date because it’s self sustaining. It runs as smoothly as the gliding hand of a classical guitar maestro and you can’t wait for another rendition.

Teenage Dating in a Twilight-Hunger Games World

But marriage, or any long term relationship; well that’s a whole other caboodle.

If we’re not careful, marriage can deteriorate into little more than a torturous assault course; littered with routine boredoms, frustrations and resentments. Couple all that with external pressures and sometimes marriage feels not worth the effort. But there are major benefits to being hitched or committed, other than just a beneficial tax regime.

Healthy marriage; healthy people.

Being happily married bestows heaps of health benefits. You might be forgiven for thinking that if you’re married you don’t live longer it just seems like it but, no, a good marriage really can help you clock up more years (1) and married people are happier (2) even though they don’t always look it from the outside.

But when marriage doesn’t work it can feel being manacled to a maniac, marooned with a misogynist or nailed to a nag. And I don’t care what the studies say, that’s not healthy. You may hear couples say stuff like: “We are making our marriage work!” but how do we do this?

Making it work.

We pay lip service to “working on the marriage” but what is the work we need to do? Marriage vows such as “to love and to cherish” and “forsaking all others, for better or for worse” don’t really tell us how to make it work, although they give us a clue.

Fortunately a ton of research has been done on what to do and not do to make your marriage, or any intimate relationship work. Follow the guidelines here to become “good at marriage."

Tip one: Be romantic but keep it real.

We are all (force?) fed romance in movies and novels. The handsome man gets the beautiful woman. But what I wonder is what happens after our romantic couple ride off into the sunset together? What do they do exactly? Bicker? Moan at one another? Start to ignore each other?

After all that romance, our beautiful couple is bound to have massive expectations of their life together. But when rose tinted expectations clash with day to reality, watch out!

Romance is vital in any relationship. Always seeing the best in your partner helps to keep things intimate and love should be expressed. But if you have been raised on Mills and Boon Romance novels or feel-good movies, then your own romantic expectations can work against the sustainability of your long term relationship.

When day to day life fails to live up to the giddy, heady lust-filled days of the pre-settled down romance people can become angry, even blame one another: “This wasn’t what I signed up for." They find it hard to take the rough with the smooth because they never really figured there would be any rough.

Expectations not diluted with at least a dash of realism can be a royal road to relationship ruin. Your partner may be an angel, but they have feet of clay. You must learn to love those feet or at least accept them a bit!

Get the rest after the jump!

Lea and Cory Hold Hands During a Big Apple Shopping Spree

Katie Henry — Thu, 17 May 2012 08:15:32 PDT

Lea Michele and Cory Monteith were all smiles during an afternoon of shopping in NYC yesterday. Cory and Lea held hands following a stop at a John Varvatos boutique. The stars recently went public with their real-life romance during a romantic trip to Cabo after playing on-again off-again high school sweethearts on Glee for the past two years.

Lea, Cory, and some of their fellow Fox stars are on the East Coast following the cable channel's Upfront presentation. Their musical show is returning in the Fall, though you'll have to stay up an hour later since Glee's moving to a new time slot. The schedule shake up will pair The X Factor with Glee, airing at 9 p.m., on Thursday night. Britney Spears's fans will get a double dose of the pop princess in the Fall when Glee debuts another Britney themed episode.

New X Factor Judges Britney Spears and Demi Lovato Make Their First Official Appearance

Katie Henry — Mon, 14 May 2012 14:51:11 PDT

It's official: Britney Spears and Demi Lovato are your new X Factor judges. The ladies stepped out in NYC today at Fox's upfront presentation for the official announcement that Britney and Demi are joining the show. Rumors started swirling months ago about Britney's involvement and a reported $15 million contract, but no confirmations were made until today. Returning judge Simon Cowell took the stage together before bringing out the rest of his team, saying, "I'm thrilled to be able to confirm the return of L.A. Reid, the addition of Demi Lovato and the superstar Britney Spears."

Britney made a brief cameo in a sexy white minidress and posed for photos with Demi and the guys. Before leaving the stage, Britney chimed in about her judging role: "I am so excited about this . . . I'm ready to find the true star." The second season of X Factor returns this Fall, but will you tune in to see Britney and Demi?

5 Things I Wish I Registered For (and 5 I Wish I Hadn't!)

Sara Yoo — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 05:15:01 PDT

Though we may be loathe to admit it, one of the most exciting - and frenzied - moments of wedding planning is setting up a registry. While deep down I knew that marrying the man of my dreams was the best present of all, other visions, like that of a perfectly appointed home, turned me into Dirty Harry with the scanner gun. A fondue set? I'll take two. The enormous countertop convection oven? We'll make room. Salt and pepper shakers shaped like mated doves? You get the picture.

It's easy to go crazy when registering for wedding gifts, but ending up with a pile of things you'll never use results in annoying trips back to the store for returns or very full storage closets. Eight years after my perfect wedding, I can't help but think that I should have provided my generous guests with better direction as I watch the dust collect on the paella pan I've never used. Every bride's needs are different, but I've come up with a list of five items from my registry that are highly underutilized and five items for which that money would have been better spent. Tell us: what are your must-have registry items, and what do you wish you left off your list?

Five Things I Could Have Done Without

Preassembled cookware sets. Those 10- or 12-piece cookware sets may seem like a great deal with many stores advertising "deep" discounts vs. buying individual pieces, but I found that I ended up with pots and pans in sizes I've never used. Take the time to register for individual pieces (you may even find that you like pieces from a few different cookware lines) in standard sizes that make sense for your frying, sautéing, and simmering needs.
Cooking utensils. Basic utensils like rubber spatulas and wooden spoons are a wedding-registry must have. But I've found that many of the specialized tools I thought I would need have gone untouched. There are so many variations of potato mashers, strainers, ladles, and whisks that you ought to take your time finding the perfect one for you.
High-ticket single-use tools. Cookware companies would love to sell you pasta cookers, egg poachers, asparagus pots, and butter warmers, often at a few hundred dollars a pop. My pasta pot rarely sees the light of day, because I opt instead for a standard stockpot and colander (which drains much better, IMO). By investing in the right standard pots and pans, you still can cook any of these items and save room in your kitchen cabinets while you're at it.

For the rest of the list as well as a list of items I'd register for instead, just keep reading.

What We Need to Talk About When We Talk About Sex and Feminism

The Good Men Project — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 08:00:00 PDT

We're happy to present this story from one of our favorite sites, The Good Men Project. Lisa Solod, who came of age during the sexual revolution, explores what feminism means to this generation.

My mother married my father because, she told me in a rare moment of candor, she wanted to have sex with him. She was 25 and tired of pre-sex fumbling and stolen kisses. My father was, of course, far more experienced, having been in the Pacific Theater during World War II; far less discreet about his former life (and life in general) he told his daughters inappropriate tales of the women he had met on shore leave. One I particularly remember had her front teeth filed into points. Well into their marriage, each of them managed to be unfaithful and they finally separated (but not because of infidelity) after twenty years of marriage. Yet, for another dozen years or so they would hook up here and there, travel together, and, of course have sex. In a further revelation, my mother told me that the sex was the best part of her relationship with my father.

I came of age at the tail end but the real beginning of the sexual revolution (1971-1974). At that point, sexual liberation was inextricably tied to the rise of feminism. Having sex like men, i.e., without attachment, was part of our freedom. But too many of us got hurt. We hadn’t yet factored in the biology of mating and how really hard it was to have that much sex without any real commitment. Most of the women I know who grew up during those years had far more sexual encounters than they were ever willing to reveal to their husbands. Those of us who divorced then dived back into the sexual market with the same abandon. I am not sure we were all the wiser. I hear STDs are on the rise in the over 50 group, which doesn’t surprise me. We all were pretty practiced in birth control but we took it into our own hands, with the pill and the diaphragm. This was pre-AIDS. Barrier methods were not our methods of choice then. They are not, apparently, our method now, either.

Should a Man Stand Up For His Woman?

But those of us who grew up in the trenches of the sexual revolution know that feminism was about far more than women having the kind of meaningless sex with men that men had been having with us for eons. Feminism, which is still being parsed in the media as well as our own homes, still being debated and discussed and accepted and dismissed, was about being able to control (to the extent that anyone can) our work lives, our love lives, our lives as a whole. It was about being able to have a career, being paid equally well for that career, and making our own decisions about marriage and childbirth without having to merely capitulate to what society had set out for us. I, for one, was happy not to have to marry to have sex. I was thrilled to be able to go to college and think about a career without worrying that it might make me unmarriageable. I was ecstatic about the notion that I could make decisions for myself.

All those ideas I passed along to my daughter. But, of course, she had no need to wrestle with those notions as the women in my generation had. She lived in a society where (she thought) feminism was taken for granted. Women her age did not talk about marriage, either as an option or something to reject. They saw it as fact that women could do anything.

Read the rest of the story below.

You Tried Crazy Hair Color . . . Now What?

Allure — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 05:00:00 PDT

We're happy to present this story from our friends at Allure:

Katy Perry's blue hair is still going strong, but others are ditching - or at least taking a break from - Crayola hair. Rihanna (whose hair has been fire engine red, then bleach-blond) and Lauren Conrad (peach and rainbow-colored) are now jet black and blond, respectively. In light of this return to normalcy, we asked Amy Huson of the Marie Robinson Salon in New York City how to recover from extreme color. Get her tips when you read more.

An Interview With Heart Home's Founders, Plus a Sneak Peek!

Stylelist Home — Wed, 21 Mar 2012 10:15:14 PDT

I'm happy to present a post from one of my favorite sites, Stylelist Home!

From the return of Domino to the newly launching Design Hunting title by New York Magazine, shelter magazines in the US are looking strong. And across the pond in London, home design is also getting a whole new focus, thanks to the online lifestyle and shelter magazine Heart Home, which just released its latest Spring issue.

Founded by interior designers Arianna Trapani (Arianna Interiors) and Carole King (Dear Designer’s Blog) along with blogger Daniel Nelson (Atelier Tally), Heart Home magazine started as a response to the UK blogging community's call for an online design mag. "There was a lot of talk online why there wasn't a UK digital magazine," explains Arianna. "Carole and I got talking, and we realized we had the same passion and vision for an online magazine. Our only obstacle was how to put it together. And that's when Daniel came into the equation."

The Spring issue is Heart Home's third, and it continues to feature affordable design finds as well as inspiring interiors inhabited by design lovers just like ourselves - from a stylist's worldly apartment to a graphic designer's colorful and retro-style flat. However, under all that is charming, there's a heavy dose of British sensibility. "We really play with our British theme because it has proven really popular with our UK audience and internationally," says Daniel. And Carole adds, "We anticipated that there would be demand for a British voice and we were right."

For the entire interview and more photos, head over to Stylelist Home!

The Politics of Plastic Surgery

Allure — Thu, 08 Mar 2012 11:24:33 PST

We're happy to present this story from our friends at Allure:

Super Tuesday has come and gone with no apparent progress in the GOP presidential sweepstakes and barely a hint of drama - at least in comparison to the political excitement of a place like, say, Egypt.

If you haven't heard, that nation was rocked by a plastic surgery scandal earlier this week when a male member of parliament was busted by his own doctors for having a nose job and then lying about it. Anwar Al-Bulkimy, of the extreme Islamist Al-Nour party (seen above), checked in for the elective surgery, but claimed to the world outside that he had been beaten by masked gunmen. Supporters streamed to his bedside, until his surgeon called in to a popular TV show and offered the truth behind the politician's bandaged face. It turns out extreme Islamists look harshly on vanity procedures, and Al-Bulkimy was soon out of a job.

The moral of this story: don't lie to voters about something that's written all over your face. Critics have hounded Russia's Vladimir Putin for using Botox, and Italy's scandal-ridden ex-prime minister, Silvio Berlusconi, whose hair plugs were visible from France, was cornered into admitting a "slight retouch" of his eyelids after disappearing for weeks in 2004 and returning with a boyish mien. Back in the 1990s, Argentine president Carlos Menem tried in vain to pass off work on his cheeks as swelling caused by a wasp bite.

Could it ever happen here? The pressure to look good is no doubt equally strong, and the faces of politicians such as John Kerry, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Nancy Pelosi have all come under scrutiny. But among the frontrunners of the current election cycle, there just doesn't seem to be the need. The only intervention incumbent Barack Obama could use is from a hair colorist to mask the gray, and likely Republican rival Mitt Romney is, at least by outward appearances, genetically perfect - with hair so thick it makes regular headlines.