LilSugar

Mommy Dearest: My Nanny's Breath Stinks!

LilSugar — Fri, 13 Jan 2012 03:18:33 PST

Mommy Dearest -

We love our nanny - she takes amazing care of my son every day. But all of a sudden, her breath is so bad, that I honestly can't be around her and I actually think it's really gross that my son is around it all day. How do I address this with her?

Any money she makes, she sends to her kids back home, so I doubt that she wants to pay for a dentist, but it's so gross that I am at the point where I have to position myself away from her and I feel really badly for my son.

If I make her a dentist appointment, then do I need to pay for it?

- Sweet-Talking Mama

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Mommy Dearest: What's the Right Age to Pierce a Child's Ears?

LilSugar — Tue, 09 Aug 2011 10:11:52 PDT

Mommy Dearest -

My 7-year-old daughter is begging me to allow her to get her ears pierced, and I don't think she is ready. Many of her friends have already gone through the "punch," and each time she sees another one with some glitter in her earlobe, I get an earful of reasons she should be allowed to have it done. I didn't bejewel my own ears until I was 10 years old and I'd like to keep it that way for my daughter. Any advice?

- Mama With a Piercing Problem

To see Mommy Dearest's response,

Dear Mama With a Piercing Problem,

It sounds to me like you are facing two issues here. First is a very common one - the "but my friends are all doing it" syndrome. That's where good parenting comes in and as her mother, you must remind your daughter that your home comes with its own boundaries and as the mom, it is your job to establish and enforce them.

The second issue is your reasoning for keeping her ears free of holes. Every family is entitled to making their own rules and if 10 years old is your house rule, so be it. I can understand a mother wanting her child be mature enough to handle the responsibility of caring for her own ears after the procedure, as well as being old enough to care for her new jewelry. As the mother of sons, I must admit that I don't have much experience here, but I'll open it up to our readers to chime in on what they've found to be the right age.

- Mommy Dearest

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Mommy Dearest: Do I Have to Play With Friend's Nanny?

LilSugar — Wed, 30 Mar 2011 06:35:51 PDT

Mommy Dearest –

I'm a SAHM, but plenty of my daughter's friends' have two working parents, which means that they are cared for by nannies and babysitters. Now that my daughter is in preschool, she is asking to play with specific friends, rather than the ones I set her up with, and that often means that it is the nanny and me hanging out while the girls play. While the nannies are certainly nice enough, I find us both to be uncomfortable with the situation. Should I just not schedule play dates with these kids, or is there another solution you might suggest to avoid the awkwardness of the situation.

– Playdate Problem Mommy

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Mommy Dearest: Do I Have to Give Up My Friends?

babysugar — Fri, 08 Oct 2010 12:00:00 PDT

Mommy Dearest -

Over the past few years, we have become friendly with some of our son's classmates' parents, often going out with them without the children. Last week my son and one of his friends had a pretty large disagreement - reducing both to tears and leaving them both vowing to never speak to the other again. We've resolved the actual issue between the kids, but the children still aren't speaking and now the child's parents seem to be avoiding us. Do I have to say goodbye to my friends just because our children aren't getting along?

- Stuck in the Middle Mama

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Dear Stuck in the Middle Mama,

Ah, the lasting effects of a schoolyard fight. First off, you need to remember that the tots' disagreement only occurred a week ago. By tomorrow, these kids may be best friends again. But if, for some reason, they are not besties again, there is no reason you need to end your friendship with the other parents. A simple phone call explaining the situation and your wish to remain friends could clear the air instantly. I would also try to work with the other parents to resolve the situation between the tykes - they might not resume their relationship in the same way, but it will be a good lesson for everyone involved.

- Mommy Dearest

Have a question you need answered? Submit it to the Mommy Dearest Group in our Lil Community.

Mommy Dearest: Do I Need to Tip All of the Counselors

babysugar — Fri, 13 Aug 2010 06:00:17 PDT

Mommy Dearest –

Camp season is drawing to a close this week and the topic of discussion at the bus stop this morning turned to tipping the counselors. It is my son's first year at camp and I hadn't realized that the counselors needed to be tipped. All of the parents agreed to a set amount per child (the camp, apparently, doesn't have any guidelines about this) but my son was closer with some counselors more than others. Would it be OK for me to just tip the ones he liked? Otherwise, we are looking at another $200 on top of what I paid for camp!

– Testing the Tipping Rules

To see Mommy Dearest's response,

Dear Testing the Tipping Rules –

There is more than one reason parents often dread the end of the Summer – and it doesn't have to do with the kids being home with no activities before school starts. If your camp does not have any set guidelines about tipping, it really is up to you to decide who, if anyone, should be rewarded. That said, it is highly likely that the counselors will compare what they received and from whom they received it. If you have any intention of sending your son back to the camp next Summer, you are best off tipping all of his counselors – you never know who will be leading his group next year!

– Mommy Dearest

Have a question you need answered? Submit it to the Mommy Dearest Group in our Lil Community.

Mommy Dearest: OK to Insist on Paying For Nephew's Tuition?

LilSugar — Wed, 11 Aug 2010 13:30:25 PDT

Mommy Dearest,

I loved school, but my brother and sister-in-law were never into academics. Their son (my nephew) is going into third grade and always talks about how bored he is in class. His test scores are extremely high and though his teacher recommended placing him in a nearby private school where he would be challenged, my brother isn't interested because of the cost. He hasn't even looked into scholarships which I can't understand. I make a good living and want my nephew to take advantage of the opportunity because I know he will do well at the school. Is it out of bounds for me to talk to my brother about footing the bill?

- Auntie Who Wants to Pay

Dear Auntie Who Wants to Pay,

I don't think there's any harm in extending the offer to your brother and sister-in-law. It's very generous of you, but be prepared in case they decline. There might be reasons (aside from academics) that they want their son to stay at his current school - friends, demographics, his comfort level, etc.

- Mommy Dearest

Mommy Dearest: I Don't Like My Child's Best Friend

babysugar — Mon, 09 Aug 2010 06:00:38 PDT

Mommy Dearest –

I know it is terrible to say, but I don't like my daughter's best friend. She is pushy and manipulative and seems to bring out the worst in my child. When the girls are together, all I get is sass from my child and if they have been playing together I can see a change in my daughter's entire attitude. I would stop scheduling play dates with her but I a) know it would devastate my child and, b) would be hard to enforce because they are in the same class. Do you have any advice for me?

– Baffled by Best Friend

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Dear Baffled by Best Friend –

Depending on your child's age, her best friend could be the "flavor of the week" and your problem could easily be solved as she moves on. If, however, that isn't the case, you may want to speak to your daughter's school to see if the tots can be placed in separate classes. I would also strongly encourage her to play with other kids by arranging a full schedule of playdates. Finally, you need to be sure to point out bad behavior to your daughter to ensure that she isn't repeating it. A combination of these suggestions should make for a more manageable relationship.

Mommy Dearest: Daughter Refuses to Wash Her Hair

babysugar — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 09:00:13 PDT

Mommy Dearest –

I'm a full believer in allowing children to express themselves. I don't argue when my daughter wants to wear crazy things to school. I allow her to paint her nails in hideous colors. And I've even been known to help her add some wild purple streaks to her hair. But we've come to clashes over self-expression versus hygiene.

After running around at camp all day, she resists bathing and when I can get her in there, she outright (and physically) refuses to let me wash her hair. She says she likes the way her dirty hair looks and doesn't mind the smell. I've tried explaining the health reasons for washing and she insists that this is her "new look". While I'm happy for her to look however she likes, the smell is getting really bad, and I'm afraid that she will be mocked at camp. Do you have any advice?

– Shear Madness Mama

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Dear Shear Madness Mama –

Sounds like you have quite a stinky situation on your hands. In your effort to provide your daughter with the freedom of self-expression, you seem to have become lenient in reminding her about limits. As her mother, you have the last word. Rather than worry about her being mocked at camp, you might focus on the cleanliness issue here. She needs to know that cleanliness is not negotiable.

– Mommy Dearest

Have a question you need answered? Submit it to the Mommy Dearest Group in our Lil Community.

Mommy Dearest: Grandparents Kiss Kids on the Lips!

babysugar — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 07:00:00 PDT

Mommy Dearest –

My husband grew up in a very affectionate family where hugs and kisses were never spared on the children. When my kids were babies and toddlers, I thought nothing of my in-laws giving their grandchildren kisses – be it on the cheek, forehead or lips. But now that the kids are 5 and 8, I'm beginning to get a bit uncomfortable with the lip pecks. Though I have yet to discuss it with them, I don't think they love it either since they are always wiping them off and making fun of their grandfather for doing it. Is it appropriate for me to put an end to this practice? And if so, can it be done without offending the grandparents?

– Kiss and Tell Mommy

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Dear Kiss and Tell Mommy –

How wonderful for your husband and children to grow up in such an affectionate family. That isn't always the case! Seventy-one percent of LilSugar readers see nothing wrong with planting a kiss on their kids' lips, but if it makes you and your tots uncomfortable, that's another story. I would first ask your tykes how they feel about it. If they would prefer not to be kissed on the lips, I'd sit down with your in-laws and explain that the kids are growing up and are embarrassed by the actions. In all likelihood, the grandparents won't want to risk upsetting anyone and the practice will stop!

– Mommy Dearest

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Source: Flickr User christyscherrer

Mommy Dearest: Fast Food Playdate Dilemma

babysugar — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 09:00:55 PDT

Mommy Dearest –

Yesterday, while toiling away at work, I received a phone call from my son's nanny. It seems the friend he was playing with had been promised a lunch at McDonald's and had invited my kindergartner along. I try to avoid fast food restaurants at all costs, so our nanny called to ask if it was OK to go for lunch with the friend. In the background I could already hear my son discussing the cartoon characters he saw on the restaurant's windows and rather than subject his caretaker to a meltdown, I acquiesced.

I am not some food-crazed mom (I give my children plenty of chicken fingers at home, albeit not fried), but I really don't like my children eating all of that fried food and thinking that food comes with toys. Would it be inappropriate for me to ask his playmate's mom to not promise such "treats" on days our kids play together?

– McDonaldless Mommy

To see the response from Mommy Dearest,

Dear McDonaldless Mommy –

You are certainly entitled to your thoughts on fast food, and you are welcome to voice them to anyone you wish, but you may want to think twice before imparting them on your fellow moms. Each mom is entitled to her own opinion and you wouldn't want to cause a rift in your lil one's friendship over such a small thing. Perhaps you could consider limiting their playdates to non-meal times or suggest having everyone over to your home where you can have more say over the meal they eat. In the meantime, I would chalk this up to a rare "treat" and let your son know that it won't be an every day occurrence.

– Mommy Dearest

Have a question you need answered? Submit it to the Mommy Dearest Group in our Lil Community.