LilSugar

Are Your Mommy Friends Your Couple Friends?

babysugar — Mon, 22 Feb 2010 09:00:00 -0800

Make new friends, but keep the old . . . The Girl Scouts knew what they were talking about especially when it comes to mommy friends.

Once a woman has a baby, she actively seeks out other mamas with like-aged lil ones of their own. Knowing moms who are simultaneously going through the same things you are – sleepless nights, teething and spitting up to name a few – makes the journey easier and can help provide a reality check for first-time moms. Making these "mommy friends" often requires a lot of work – introducing yourself to them on the playground, attending "new mom luncheons," or going on "blind dates" arranged by caring friends.

But do you take the friendships to the next level and make "couple dates" with your new-found friends? There often seems to be a divide where women keep their mom friends separated into playdate and moms' night out scenarios, never taking it to the dating scene.

Tell us, do you go on couples dates with your mommy friends?

The Protocol For Baby Booms in Friend Groups

LilSugar — Tue, 02 Feb 2010 07:00:35 -0800

It's hard not to get excited when the majority of your friends' bellies start to pop, but it's important to stay mindful of the ladies in your inner circle who aren't expecting. Whether the women aren't at that point in their lives or are opting out of childbearing all together, make sure they don't feel left out.
Dos

Be honest. Don't down play your enthusiasm of entering motherhood on her behalf because it just makes things awkward.
Just because your friend doesn't have children doesn't mean she doesn't love spending time with your youngster - include her in all the activities that you invite your mommy friends to. She's free to opt out.
Take advantage of your time away from your lil ones to partake in adult activities with her -sports, spa treatments, girls' weekends, etc.
If she's celebrating all your family's festivities, return the favor and make a lot of hoopla when she hits milestones - job promotions, birthdays or an engagement.

Don'ts

Don't surprise her with a group announcement. A big "we're pregnant" alienates the odd one out.
Unless she broaches the subject, don't bring up her biological clock.
Vow to engage in more "kid-free" conversations.
Don't become a kid-centric snob - someone who is so absorbed in her mom life that they don't think they have anything in common with their old friends anymore.
Don't talk about how easy it was for you to get pregnant if you know she is still trying.

Feel free to add your own dos and don'ts!

Are Your Friendships Affected by Your Children?

babysugar — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 08:00:00 -0700

A bit of fear creeps in when I am introducing my kids to my friends for the first time. I hope that my babes will adore my buddies (and vice versa), but there's no guarantee. I have experienced the awkward moment when my daughter wigged out as my girlfriend tried to hold her. And, watched as my child tried to strike up a conversation with friends only to have them snub her and return to other topics of interest. To be fair, they are generally self-proclaimed "no children" kind of people.

Though reactions can be chalked up to moodiness or bad timing, the bond (or lack there of) between a mom's kiddos and her friends can have a lasting impression on the adult relationship. Mamas may feel more at ease knowing her tots are surrounded by those who adore the wee company. She may stray from those that are only interested in adult time, which can be sparse. Do the relationships between your children and your friends affect your friendships?

Photo courtesy of New Line Cinema

Were You Pregnant With a Friend?

LilSugar — Thu, 29 Jan 2009 08:00:40 -0800

Pregnancy is exciting for any mama-to-be, but add a friend with a burgeoning belly and it's nine months of fun! Having a partner in crime when it comes to hitting up baby boutiques and deciding on the best stroller can make the expectant stage pure bliss. Were you pregnant at the same time as any of your friends?

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Allow Your Kid to Go on Playdate If You Don't Know the Parent?

LilSugar — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 13:00:00 -0800

These days mamas are known for being overprotective, which made way for the term, "helicopter mom" but when it comes to your children playing at their friends' houses, do you allow your youngsters to go over if you don't know the parents?

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Family Ties: Letting Kids Figure It Out

LilSugar — Mon, 11 Aug 2008 09:00:10 -0700

My kids get along fabulously most of the time. They are at ages where they enjoy each other's company whether they are on outings or playing around the house. They delight in the bizarre games they create feeding off one another's ideas, sharing belly laughs and cracking each other up. Every so often I catch my son looking at his big sis in awe because she colors in the lines or can reach things that he can't. And in that vein she cheers him on and tells him he couldn't be any cuter. Those are the good moments. To see what else they experience, read more.

Then there are the lil battles waged when they both want the same stuffed animal or to watch different movies - when kicking, grabbing and screeching ensues. While sibling squabbles are to be expected, I've noticed that when I am out of the room and late to referee, they figure it out. She's got a couple inches and pounds on him, but physically, they are an even match. When push comes to shove, I intervene, but since it's hard to know exactly what happened, they often take a different route. All on their own, they settle the storm. Sometimes she gives in or wraps him up in a hug. At times, he gets distracted or extends a peace offering. Either way, through these tug of wars, their relationship has turned into more than that of siblings, but friends.

Mommy Dearest: Uncensored Friends

LilSugar — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 07:00:01 -0700

Mommy Dearest,

My friends love my daughter, and she can't get enough of their stories. The problem is that these single women aren't used to telling the abridged versions of their weekend tales, many of which are not appropriate for a 6-year-old's ears. I don't want to censor them, but I also don't want them talking about "hooking up" or their weight issues in her presence.

- Uncensored Friends

To read the response from Mommy Dearest, read more.

Uncensored Friends,

Friendships aside, your responsibility is to your daughter and you have every right to request that certain topics like sex and body image issues not be discussed in front of her. Realizing it's in the child's best interest, I'm sure your friends will happily oblige or adopt some Samantha Jones "coloring" code words. If this isn't the case, you might want to leave your lil girl with a sitter the next time you head out for fun with the ladies and adult conversation.

- Mommy Dearest

Submit a question for this feature at the Mommy Dearest Group on TeamSugar.

Photo courtesy of New Line

Mommy Dearest: Footing the Bill For Friends?

LilSugar — Mon, 05 May 2008 09:00:35 -0700

Mommy Dearest,

Our six-year-old son loves to play with a little girl his age in our neighborhood. Since both of her parents work, the children usually hang out at our house and she regularly goes on outings with us.

She's a well behaved, lovely girl so my husband and I are happy to have her join in on our family fun.

But as time passes, we realize it's an additional expense to keep paying her way. Her parents always thank us, but never send her with any money. Is there an appropriate way to ask?

- Bank of Mom

To see Mommy Dearest's response, read more.

Bank of Mom,

I believe a guest is a guest and when my children invite friends on outings, I always treat. However, I also send cash with my kids whenever they go out with other people.

To avoid putting the girl's parents on the spot, perhaps you would just consider having the children play at your house or only take her to along to free places and then enjoy the more expensive jaunts on your own.

- Mommy Dearest

Submit a question for this feature at the Mommy Dearest Group on TeamSugar.
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Who Are Your Children's Godparents?

babysugar — Tue, 29 Jan 2008 15:00:00 -0800

Godparents are usually different from guardians in that the godparents are often the best friends or closest family members of the parents.

While guardians are entrusted to raise the child if something happens to the parents, godparents have the fun job of showing up at birthday parties and giving special gifts.

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Mom-Me Time: Phone Your Friends

LilSugar — Tue, 22 Jan 2008 12:19:45 -0800

A mom can catch a break without enlisting the help of her partner or a babysitter - all she needs is the phone. Whether you miss your friends or crave adult conversation, you can have both in the comfort of a pair of sweats on your couch.

Blow off the dishes and let the laundry pile up. Once your children are sound asleep, grab a glass of wine and dial a friend's digits for some uninterrupted conversation. Catching up is a great way to reconnect with those you care about and if you have a cell phone plan with free nights it may not cost you a dime!

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