LilSugar

Is Birth More About the Mother or Baby?

LilSugar — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 06:00:29 -0700

A friend recently told me she was shocked that I had allowed my sisters and sister-in-law into the delivery room when I had my kids. I told her I don't think of birth as a production centered around me and my husband, but rather the baby. Each of my children was lucky enough to be welcomed into the world with their godmother present. While some ladies primp for the occasion, bring a picture to focus on or stock up on their favorite snacks for the hospital stay, I'm usually too preoccupied watching the monitors and coping with contractions. Who do you think the experience is about?
Source: Flickr User madaise

Why Didn't Anybody Tell Me: Shared Postpartum Rooms

LilSugar — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 05:00:52 -0700

Most women are no holds barred when giving birth - some scream, others go silent and 75 percent poop during delivery. Regardless of the antics, no one focuses on anything other than the baby making its debut. Hospitals normally offer spacious birthing rooms for expectant ladies to labor in that fit the father and anyone else the couple wants to invite to witness the arrival. But once the newborn has been welcomed into the world, the family is usually moved to smaller postpartum accommodations. In my experience, the basic quarters included a bed, a futon type piece of furniture for the dad, space to roll up the babe's bassinet, a couple of chairs and an in-suite bathroom. Though it was a tight squeeze with nurses shuffling in and out, the peace of a private room gave my husband and me time to bond with our infant and visit with relatives and friends.

Our hospital only offers single rooms so I was surprised to learn that many mommies spend their children's first days of life with roommates! I'm a big believer in the more, the merrier - except in this situation. I recall asking my husband to toss my catheter bag behind the table before guests arrived, sprinkling blood across the floor as I made my way towards the shower and having my diaper ice packs changed after enduring a pretty intense tear. While these things are part of motherhood, they made me a bit woozy and I can't imagine having to worry about my bunk mate and her baby's feelings. Would sharing a postpartum room bother you?

Got a few other secrets that you learned the hard way? Come dish with us on all the things your mama forgot to tell you in our Why Didn't Anybody Tell Me group over in our LilSugar community!

Source: Flickr User Emery Co Photo

Which Method of Delivery Worked For You?

babysugar — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 08:00:35 -0700

As youngsters, we are led to believe storks drop newborns off in a bundled white sack. At some point in time, wee ones will find out that Santa Claus isn't real and that mama lied about those long necked birds. There are only two ways to enter this world - through the birth canal or slipping through a surgically split belly. In the end, the means of delivery usually doesn't matter to the new mom as long as she's holding her sweet baby in her arms.

And a reminder, if you're ready to talk pregnancy, join the LilSugar community!

Do You Know About Your Mother's Hospital Experience?

LilSugar — Mon, 14 Sep 2009 13:30:24 -0700

Oh mad mama! It was not easy to watch Betty Draper give birth on this week's episode of Mad Men and consider the bizarre and bygone birthing methods of the '60s. Betty and Don arrived at the hospital together, but he was quickly whisked to a daddy-to-be waiting room and she was wheeled away and told to prepare to be shaven and given an enema. While glowing and beautiful as ever, Betty was still grieving the loss of her father and an utter wreck, so the moment she was given procedural (but mysterious) drugs to calm her nerves she wigged out. BuzzSugar has a look at the maddest moments from the episode, but I am glued to the terrifying, lonely, emotional and hazy delivery room experience.

Modern moms are given choices. You can have a water birth or do it in a hospital bed. You can go drug-free or take carefully administered drugs to ease the pain. You can schedule your down-there maintenance at a beauty bar or go natural. You can hold your husband's hand or cast him to the waiting room. It's frightening to be reminded that such pregnancy and delivery choices weren't always available to women (and still aren't in many places in the world). Do you know if your mother or women in your family got the Betty Draper treatment in the hospital, or were they able to control their birthing experience?

Photo courtesy of AMC

Mommy Dearest: Wants Boyfriend to Be at Baby's Birth

LilSugar — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 14:36:22 -0700

Mommy Dearest,

I am due with my first child on Sept. 13 and am completely accepting of the fact that I likely overshoot this due date. My boyfriend has been supportive the entire pregnancy and very vocal about how he wishes to be in the delivery room, which I am happy to hear! Unfortunately his side of the family suffered the loss of grandmother recently. We will attend the memorial service this weekend, but the burial will take place the weekend after my due date.

The place is about six hours away, so I obviously cannot go if I have not given birth yet, but my boyfriend has made it clear that he will go whether the baby is here or not! I am terrified of being alone for the labor and delivery if he cannot make it back in time. My mother will be there for the delivery, but I have always looked at her being there as more of a secondary support person and am counting on my him to be there so we can experience it together. Since it is my first delivery, it may take a long time and he might make it back in time, but that is not a chance I want to take! Am I being selfish for wanting him to stay home from what would be the second memorial service for his grandmother? How do I approach this topic with him?

- Want Boyfriend There For Birth

To see the response from Mommy Dearest,read more.

Want Boyfriend There For Birth,

You are not selfish - you're a soon-to-be mom who wants to experience the birth of her child with the baby's father. It is completely understandable that you wish and rely on him to be present at the life-changing event. I would approach the topic by telling him how you feel and being supportive in regards to him losing his grandmother. You may also consider having other dads talk to him about their birth experiences and why they think it would be appropriate for him to stay home from the burial if it comes to that point. Good luck!

– Mommy Dearest

Submit a question for this feature at the Mommy Dearest Group on our new Community page.

Source: Flickr User salimfadhley

Cindy Crawford Delivered Her Baby, Who Delivered Yours?

babysugar — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 14:17:12 -0700

When someone asks me who delivered my baby, I don't hesitate to tell them Dr. Joe. They know that I pushed the child out, but they want to know which professional helped me labor through the process. In Cindy Crawford's fourth and final episode of her My Best Birth webisodes, the model mommy explained how having a midwife at home truly gave her the ability to claim that she, and she alone, delivered her baby. While I get what she's saying, I wonder if some might find her proclamation a bit insulting. Are those who received medical help or had their babies in hospitals any less owning of the action of "delivering"? And what about mothers who required emergency C-sections? Watch the quick clip and tell me what you think of Cindy's perspective.

Tasty Treats For Labor and Delivery Staff

LilSugar — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 06:00:00 -0700

If it takes a village to raise a child, it can take a handful of people to deliver one. Nurses, doctors, midwives and doulas often play instrumental roles in baby's debut. Though only 23 percent of lilsugar readers said they thanked their birth assistants with a gift, those who did made thoughtful purchases. Here are some sweet options perfect for saying thank you that can also be shared with the person's coworkers.

View Slideshow ›

Do You Think the Method of Delivery Affects One's Sex Life?

babysugar — Thu, 09 Jul 2009 08:00:00 -0700

People who enjoy doing the horizontal mambo without protection often find themselves entering parenthood. So it goes without saying that those same couples like to return the activity once baby arrives. Expectant mothers who fear the demise of their sex lives due to a vaginal delivery are choosing to have c-sections with the hopes that damages and pain are kept to a minimum. However, there are conflicting reports on whether the method of delivery actually affects one's sex life. Dutch researcher H.J. Brummen, M.D. found:

The study should reassure women who give birth vaginally that except in rare cases, physical factors following childbirth shouldn't affect sexual functioning.

Another study in the Journal of Sexual Medicine stated just the opposite:

Since the turn of the last century, investigators have hypothesized that pregnancy and delivery of an infant can result in anatomical and functional derangement in pelvic floor and intrapelvic organs... Many issues that were not previously incorporated into the planning mode of delivery may now be considered to be of great importance. Among these is sexual function.... We think the results of this study are quite convincing in demonstrating an association between mode of delivery and sexual function.

Do you think your method of delivery affected your sex life?

Five Things Not to Say to a Woman in Labor

LilSugar — Fri, 19 Jun 2009 07:00:33 -0700

There's a scene in the fourth season of Sex and the City where a labor and delivery nurse is cheering Miranda on, as she is about to give birth. Carrie turns to the nurse and simply shakes her head, signaling for the cheerleader to cut the words of encouragement as Brady's mom delivers him.

While every laboring mama has an idea of the type of birthing coach she wants to support her throughout the process, an unexpected slip of a few choice phrases can completely change the mood in the room. Knowing what an expectant mum wants during the process can help visitors plan their words wisely, but here are five things that are never appropriate to say to the soon-to-be mother.

"Ouch! Here comes a BIG contraction!"
"Hold on, the team's not quite ready yet."
"Do you think you can cross your legs and hold it in until I get the camera working?"
"My mom said it really didn’t hurt that much."
"I’m ready to get started on the next one, how about you?"

Feel free to add your favorite phrase to the list.

Photo courtesy of HBO

Does Waiting to Find Out the Sex Make It Easier to Accept?

LilSugar — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 14:00:00 -0700

I've never heard of a parent who found out her baby's sex in the delivery room and was disappointed. That's why when people ask my advice, I say to wait . . . especially if the impending mom or pop has a clear preference. I know both men and women who had their hearts set on a son or daughter and were a bit bummed when their ultrasound indicated otherwise. All parents eventually realized how lucky they were to be having healthy offspring.

But when the infant makes his or her debut and "It's a boy!" or "It's a girl" is announced, I'm convinced it's near impossible for parents to pull themselves away from the awe-inspiring moment to focus on anatomy. Do you think this is true?

Photos courtesy of TLC