LilSugar

Celebrating Created Families

LilSugar — Tue, 14 Jul 2009 06:00:51 -0700

The greatest bond is perhaps that between parent and child. While nature makes many people moms and dads, others enter fatherhood or motherhood through surrogacy or adoption. In celebration of all the wonderful ways human beings come together, check out our coverage of the relationships that are formed by alternative means between adults and their offspring.

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Creating Families: Which Birth Option Would You Choose?

LilSugar — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 04:00:00 -0700

Couples facing infertility still have childbearing options available. For those who decide to forgo medical treatments, they may choose to build a brood by alternative means. Additionally, some hopeful moms and dads that can have biological offspring prefer to share their love with living children in need. We've spent the past week looking at domestic and international adoptions and surrogacy and the costs and benefits of these options. Which one would you be most likely to pursue?

Making Room For an Adopted Family Member

LilSugar — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 12:00:25 -0700

Newborn adoptees can be anywhere from hours to weeks old when placed with the families that will raise them so the process is similar to bringing home a baby from the hospital. Moms and dads who opted for an international adoption process or are adopting older children may be faced with some challenges as all parties mesh into a family. Here are some tips for easing that transition.

Make the child's room a safe place for them by surrounding them with familiar sights, be it photos of their hometown, a favorite stuffed animal or blanket they brought with them, or CDs filled with music they may have listened to prior to entering your life.
Give the child time to understand who the new family is before allowing others to spend excessive amounts of time in your home. Avoid overnight guests for the first month or so until the tot is comfortable with the people he sees on a daily basis.
Many internationally adopted tots were not properly nourished in their birth countries and can take to sneaking and hiding food out of fear. Allow them to keep some snacks in their room to help establish trust and show them how easily accessible the kitchen is at all times.
Give the child choices in terms of the food that she eats and the clothes that she wears. Initially she may feel that she was forced into this new relationship. By giving her choices, she will feel that she has some control of her situation.

Families of adoptees will experience the same joys and frustrations of other parents throughout their lives, but they will also face some unique challenges, particularly if their children are from different backgrounds. For tips on how to handle these situations, read more.

Study the cultural holidays of your child's native country and incorporate them into your own life – be it Chinese New Year, Korea's Children's Day, or the country's independence day.
Expand your culinary horizons and learn to make some popular dishes from the tot's birth country.
Consider learning the language of the adoptee's birth country, or better yet, learn it with your child.
Be prepared for a lifetime of insensitive questions from outsiders who want to know why your child looks different than you and even how you came by your child.
Consider taking a trip to your child's birth country and help them trace their roots. Inevitably, your child will want to know more about where they came from and such a trip can be educational and inspiring for everyone involved.

Our Favorite Blended Celebrity Families

LilSugar — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 06:00:16 -0700

We've spent the week celebrating the ways families are created with in-depth looks at adoption and surrogacy. Some of Hollywood's most famous clans include children who came together through these alternative means. We've rounded up some of our favorite celebrity blended families starting with the Jolie-Pitts who have welcomed offspring from Vietnam, Ethiopia and Cambodia via international adoption and biological babies as well. Brad and Angelina prove that the love parents have for their youngsters knows no bounds. Check out our other choices.

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Approaching Adoption: The International Option

LilSugar — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 14:00:32 -0700

Every child deserves a place to call home and loving parents to raise it. Sometimes the parties must travel thousands of miles to meet each other. International adoption is a process which can take anywhere from nine months to several years depending on the child's country of origin. Unlike domestic adoptions, international ones usually involve children that are placed in orphanages or have been made legally available by their parents.

Each country has its own set of guidelines and having an understanding of the culture can help before bringing the child into your home. Most families interested in international adoption work with an agency to help them through the process. Among the most popular countries Americans adopt from are Russia, China, Taiwan, Ethiopia, Vietnam, South Korea and Kazakhstan. Last year, 17,438 children were adopted internationally.

Qualifications: Like the domestic adoption process, families register with an agency and attend information sessions. They then go through the home-study process, which involves criminal and medical background checks, fingerprints, a safe home and stable living environment inspection, a financial records review, references, interviews with adoption counselors and monitoring of marital status. The family must then receive approval from the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services before submitting their paperwork to the country they are interested in adopting from.

To see the rest of our look at international adoption, read more.

Timeline: In the past, international adoptions from countries such as China were popular due to their fast turn around, but new restrictions have lengthened the process considerably. Once the family receives a referral for the potential child, they must then review the child's health information with a pediatrician specializing in international adoption, such as Dr. Jane Aronson who has worked with Angelina Jolie and Mary Louise Parker. These doctors review the medical history to help a family determine if the child is healthy enough to be adopted. The family then prepares for travel to the country to pick up their child, including immigration forms and vaccinations and travel arrangements.

Costs: International adoptions range from approximately $13,000 to $51,000, depending on the country's program fee and the agency's fee, and not including travel expenses. Some, like Spence-Chapin, base their fee on the couple's income (usually 7 percent of the income) while others, like The Cradle, charge set fees.

Considerations: Before deciding to adopt, parents must be comfortable incorporating someone from another culture inside their home. Most likely, the child will not look like them and this will raise questions for the rest of their lives. Future moms and dads should also consider how they will incorporate their adopted child's culture into their own – some opt for roots discovery tours or bi-annual trips to the country of origin, while others learn the native language as a family.

Creating Families: Which Method Did These Celebs Use?

LilSugar — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 07:00:00 -0700

This week we're celebrating the ways families are created. From domestic and international adoption to using a surrogate, celebrities have become the faces of alternative means since they are in the spotlight. See if you can guess how these celebabies entered their parents' lives.

Question 1 of 10

How did rock and roller Sheryl Crow add son Wyatt to her family?

Approaching Adoption: The Domestic Option

LilSugar — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 14:00:13 -0700

Not all mothers meet their babies at birth. For some, connecting with their child is more a labor of effort and love. Celebrities like Angelina Jolie, Meg Ryan, Edie Falco, Calista Flockhart, and Nia Vardalos have put familiar faces on adoption and made it a household word. Hopeful parents have reasons ranging from fertility issues to choice in deciding to adopt domestically. The process involves the placement of American-born children with US-based parents and can be facilitated by an agency, like New York's Spence-Chapin or a private attorney. Firms match birth mothers and adoptive families and usher them through the process while lawyers often work with doctors who have patients interested in handing their children over for someone else to raise.

Qualifications: Once families register with an agency, they go through a home-study process, which involves criminal and medical background checks, a safe home and stable living environment inspection, a financial records review and monitoring of marital status. The family also submits a letter to prospective birth mothers explaining why they want to adopt.

To see the rest of our look at domestic adoption read more.

Timeline: The average domestic adoption takes 12-18 months. The most lengthy part of the process is the home study that can take up to five months. According to Spence-Chapin, single parents tend to wait longer than married couples because birth mothers are the ones making the choice. Once a family has been selected and the baby is born, the families must sign the terms of their agreement before the child is placed. After placement, many states require three to six months of monitoring by a social worker before the process is considered complete.

Costs: Domestic adoptions through an agency range from approximately $12,000 to $30,000. Some use a sliding scale based on the couple's income while others, like Chicago's The Cradle, charge set fees. These costs include everything from registration to the fee paid to the birth mother.

Considerations: Before deciding to adopt, parents should be comfortable with the idea of what it means to be an adoptive family - that their child might not resemble them and that questions will arise throughout their offspring's life. Future moms and dads also need to choose between an open adoption - where birth parents and adoptive parents agree to ongoing contact of some kind throughout the child's life, be it exchanging letters or medical records or a closed adoption, where there is no contact once the baby has been placed.

What's Your Favorite Adoption Movie?

babysugar — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 16:00:00 -0700

After watching the trailer for the horror flick Orphan the other day, I thought about all the other adoption films that have graced the silver screen. First to come to mind? Annie, of course. Check out some of the other ones that show both bright and dark sides of the subject matter. Source

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Is "Orphan" Movie Fair to Those in Foster Care?

babysugar — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 08:00:53 -0700

It can be a cold and cruel world for foster children. While some kids are fortunate enough to find warm, inviting homes and loving families, others spend most of their lives hopping from one home to another without the security of being able to settle down. Will flicks like Warner Brother's horror film, Orphan, scare potential parents from reaching out to take in tots?

The movie about a crazed foster child has previews that include the line: "It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own." Sentiments like these in the trailer have people all up in arms - especially the parents and counselors of adopted children. Watch the trailer and see for yourself.

Would Economics Influence Your Decision to Raise Baby?

LilSugar — Tue, 19 May 2009 14:00:00 -0700

One loving mother of three did something she never imagined - she put her fourth baby up for adoption. Struggling to make ends meet raising her teenagers as a single parent, Renee Siegfort, 36, did what she believed was in all of her children's best interest when she found herself unexpectedly pregnant again - she found a family to raise her infant, Joie. While the decision was heart wrenching, a recent report said that it is not uncommon as many moms are considering adoption due to the economy and the fact that raising children is so expensive. Some placement agencies are seeing anywhere from a 10 to 30 percent increase in inquiries. In the same article, a rep for the National Abortion Federation said their phones were ringing off the hook. Would finances influence your baby-raising decision?