why didn't anyone tell me

motherhood

The (No) Sleep Diaries: Not Getting Any? Me Neither.

Sleep that is. But like sex, when you’re not getting enough, it’s all you can think about, because, duh, sleep is important!

Sleep that is. But like sex, when you’re not getting enough, it’s all you can think about, because, duh, sleep is important! There's a reason forcing people to stay awake is classified as a torture technique. We know newborns wake constantly, needing to be fed and changed. We're prepared for a few months of pure exhaustion. But when those months turn into years, life can get pretty difficult.

I'm closing in on 18 months with a child who just will not "Go the F**k to Sleep," and his sleep habits, or rather lack of, absolutely dictate my life. I've read all the heavy hitters (Ferber, Sears, Weissbluth) thoroughly confusing myself in the process. I've tried some version of every reputable sleep-training method out there, and if one more well-intentioned person asks if we have a consistent bedtime routine, surely I will snap.

I'm quickly coming to the end of my rope, and seriously considering turning to a professional sleep trainer. Spending upwards of $500 for a stranger to teach my baby to sleep sounded absurd to my confident, well-rested, prebaby self. It's amazing what 18 months without a solid REM cycle will do for your perspective. Five hundred dollars for some decent sleep sounds like an absolute bargain to this addled mom.

Did you use a sleep trainer? Was it worth it?

Check back in two weeks for the next installment of The (No) Sleep Diaries.

Pacifiers

Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me? Tapping the Pacifier

Bottle, breast, finger or pacifier babies love to suck.

Bottle, breast, finger or pacifier babies love to suck. From the moment they enter the world, lil ones seem on a quest to find something to put in their mouths. While a thumb or finger is always available, 40 percent of LilSugar readers opt to give their babes the artificial nipple when attempting to soothe them.

When baby doesn't immediately calm down, many mamas look for another answer to hush their screaming child. Though singing and shushing work for some, repeatedly tapping the binky works for others. On a recent outing, I looked around to find several new moms standing over their children and tapping their pacifiers in hopes of quieting them down. Where this motion came from I can't tell you, but I can vouch for its effectiveness!

Baby Bump

Why Didn't Anyone Tell Me: Mask of Pregnancy

You expect to see masks at a Halloween party, a day spa and masquerade balls.

You expect to see masks at a Halloween party, a day spa and masquerade balls. I certainly never expected pregnant women to get them.

Most ladies anticipate skin changes during pregnancy — stretch marks and linea negra are common to many mamas–to–be. The "mask of pregnancy" that some women experience while expecting is another visible condition particular to pregnant women.

To learn more about the mask and what you can do about it, read more