tween

“Are today’s teens different than we were?” asks Gail E. on Circle of Moms. It's not really meant as a question though; she firmly believes that something's amiss with this generation of kids. Another Circle of Moms member, Jodi, expresses the sentiment more bluntly, noting that kids seem “more entitled than ever before.” She adds: "Kids seem to be getting worse and worse as time goes on. Maybe we could learn from parenting styles of older generations." 

Are we really in the era of more-indulged-than ever offspring? And if so, what's causing it? Circle of Moms members have various theories, some lighthearted, and many of them more serious. Here, we take a closer look at what moms feel is behind this suppoedly “all about me” generation.

1. Parents Buy Too Much

"I see little ones given so much so often," shares JuLeah W. "A little toy here, a fun little thing here, a buck here.  It is all based on the, 'you're so cute ... I love you ... you deserve it’ idea."

JuLeah argues that parents today buy far too much for their children: "They get a coloring book for walking in the store and not whining. They get a new beach ball and buckets because they are going to the beach and only have their toys from last year. Yes, their toys from last year include a ball and bucket, but not in the color they want this year." 

Part of the problem may be modern technology and the Internet, says Janice C.: "Kids today often have an entitled attitude, because technology has changed so rapidly over the past thirty years and it’s much easier to over indulge your child than in the past.”  As a member named Me Me shares, "My neighbor has bought their son (12 years old) five cell phones in the past year and a half because he keeps either losing them or breaking them. He doesn't care how much they cost because his parents keep replacing them."

If parents give kids whatever they want, why wouldn't they feel entitled to it, ask Bonnie M. "We need to stop giving our children everything," she declares.  "We need to teach them that nothing is handed over freely. This is what life is about, working for what you want. . . .We are to blame [for] this generation's apathy."  She adds that parents seem to be confused over what kids need and what they want: "How much does a child really need an X-box, a computer, and [a] television in their room?" 

2. Kids Don't Fend For Themselves

It might have been endearing when 30-something Matthew McConaughey needed more than a little push to leave the nest in the movie Failure to Launch. But Circle of Moms members say moms are simply fueling entitlement by waiting on their kids hand and foot. 

As Lissa H. says, "They never have to work towards or earn anything. They never have to be part of the team that is a family to work towards common goals. If you show them that they are the center of the earth and nobody else matters, that is what they will grow up to believe."

It's a trap that moms like Shannon T. are trying not to fall into. "I need to work on that," she admits. "Letting them do things for themselves. I am so used to being on autopilot that I need to stop and let them do it for themselves."

3. "The Way We Never Were Syndrome"

Though many parents feel today's generation is more entitled than ever before, there are some Circle of Moms members who strongly believe that the sense of over-entitlement is just an illusion. In reality, they say, kids are still just kids, but parents have delusional memories about how they themselves were so much better  at that age. 

Beth M. calls it 'The Way We Never Were Syndrome:' “My mom and dad have some crazy stories about when they were kids (the 60s), stuff kids today would probably not even try,” she shares. “We think there was this golden era in history where families were perfect and children were well behaved and everything was great. But in reality that never existed. In the past, a child was overindulged because mom and dad handed them a china doll, a real china tea set, a record player, or a Sony Walkman. You don't think this is equivalent to today's child receiving an X-Box?"

Do you think today's kids are more entitled than ever before?

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As the summer stretches on, Circle of Moms members say their grade-school and tween-aged kids are moaning a collective, “Mom, there’s nothing to do.” As Terise, who is mom to a 10- and 12-year-old shares, "I'm desperate for some good ideas for kid activities this summer that are inexpensive.” Katie, mom to an eight-year-old, adds: “It’s going to be a long summer, and I find the older she gets, the more bored she gets (now she tells me ‘this is major boring.”) How am I supposed to keep her amused this summer?”

Here are five great ideas for summer adventure that will keep kids busy, without breaking the bank.

1. Create and Post a Bucket List

Lilian M. suggests creating a list of fun “to do’s,” a bucket list for the summer. “Every summer we create a large chart on poster board with twenty or more activities,” she says. "It helps [my daughter] keep track of upcoming events and what she can look forward to. As we complete the activities she adds a sticker beside [them]. It also makes a great Show and Tell when she gets back to school. Activities might include: trip to the zoo, ride public bus, visit downtown, dress-up dinner, swimming, getting wet outside or making ice cream."

2. Find an Inexpensive Community Day Camp

A member named Violet sends her "very active" nine-year-old son to day camp for at least part of the summer by sticking with camps like Cub Scouts, "that aren't too expensive." Rebekah recommends checking out your local church, as "many church camps are very inexpensive." And Vicki turns to her local parks and recreation department for three-day-per-week programs for her six and 12-year-old kids. "They play games, do crafts, put on puppet shows or just socialize with other kids," she says. "The fee is minimal and on Fridays they go swimming."

3. Join Forces with Another Family

Violet also works with a friend to plan "camp adventures" for their sons at one another's houses. "We make sleepovers into camp adventures and then plan an outing for the next day."

4. Assign Your Kids Projects

The secret to keeping the kids entertained all summer is creativity, says a mom named Carol. She suggests coming up with learning activities that you can do with them, like "your own cooking school," for instance. "Last year my eight- and 10-year-olds helped create the dinner menus and fix them for the entire week. They loved it and keep asking to do it again this year. You just have to have patience and teach them to clean up afterward too." 

In a similar stroke of genius, a member named Alisa created a dog school at her house, enlisting her son to work with the family's pet. "He had his own obedience school and performance class for our dog," she shares.

5. Sign Up for Service Projects

Like adults, kids too feel good when they are helping others, says Madeline. She suggests planning a trip to a food pantry or some other kind of volunteer project. "I like bringing my kids to soup kitchens or having them help at an old folks home as they always need a hand," she says.   

Alisa also has found that enlisting your kids in volunteer projects not only keeps them busy, but also teaches them invaluable life lessons. "Is there a nursing home nearby [where your child] can create cards or craft gifts?....Local volunteer sites may have great ideas too. For example, even a young child can assist in making PB&J sandwiches for the local homeless shelter."

What are some inexpensive activities your kids do during summer and school breaks?

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Melynda's daughter is 13, and she wants a boyfriend. Erin's daughter is 11, and she does, too. Both of these concerned Circle of Moms members want to know how they should handle the situation. Is 13 too young to date? What about 11?

In Melynda's case, her daughter's interest in boys is still pretty abstract. But Erin's daughter says there are boys at school who are interested in her.

While many moms of girls in this age range are adamant that they don't want their daughters dating yet, the many Circle of Moms conversations on this topic reveal that parents aren't always clear on what their daughters are referring to when they say they want to date. What does it really mean at this age to have a boyfriend or girlfriend?

Do Tweens Really "Date"?

Many Circle of Moms members say that when tween girls say they are "going together" or "have a boyfriend," what they are actually doing is a far cry from real dating. Barbara, for instance, doesn't really care what her daughter calls the male friends she hangs out with, so long as she can keep a watchful eye on them and make sure they "keep it light." And Kathy agrees that the key is not the language her daughter uses to describe her relationships with boys, but what they actually do when they are alone together.

She believes that the best way to really understand what her daughter is up to is to give her free rein in terms of who she hangs out with and to allow her to describe these relationships in her own terms. Kathy says this communicates to her daughter that she trusts her, and that in exchange, her daughter it more willing to be "visible," when she's with her "boyfriend" and more inviting of her mother's presence in general. "After all," she points out, "they're not even old enough to drive. Can we really say they're dating?"

But what about the tendency that kids naturally have to hide their behavior from their parents, even when they're not doing anything wrong? If your kids are secretive, several Circle of Moms members recommend establishing firm limits on unsupervised time with a "boyfriend."

At What Age is Unsupervised Time Okay?

The age at which moms tend to allow their daughters unsupervised time with a boy ranges from 14 to 17. Deanna, for instance, let her daughter begin to "group-date" at age 14, but won't let her go out with a boy in a twosome until she's 16. But many moms draw an even firmer line; Dee, Joan, and Lynn all say, simply and surely: No.

I have to wonder through, whether this will really stop a tween girl from experimenting. I agree with Deanna that if your daughter is showing an interest in boys, it's probably a sign that you should begin talking to her about what dating means, and stay open to her curiosity and questions. If you don't, you stand a good chance of being left in the dark where your child's activities are concerned. 

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It's tough to walk the line between parent and friend with your children. You want your kids to like you, to trust you, to acknowledge your ‘cool.’ But can you be the cool mom without letting your kids walk all over you? Here are three strategies Circle of Moms members recommend for establishing your cool factor while maintaining your authority as a good parent.

1. Listen

Your kids may not listen to you as often as you would like, but that doesn't mean they don't want you to listen to them. One of the easiest ways to find out what is really going on with them can be to ask open ended questions and then just listen. Angela B. believes that listening without interrupting will help your child "know that she matters." Jana W. has similar advice: “I found being a good listener and trying to keep my mouth shut (no lecturing or judging) worked best with my own daughters.”

Listening also shows that you respect your child's opinions and ideas (even when you don't agree with them). This type of mutual respect is important for any relationship, even the one you have with your kids. As Becky E. says of her sons: “I'm giving them the same respect that I would give my other friends. I listen to them, I consider their feelings, and I when I have to 'exert my authority' I do so in a way that preserves our relationship, because that is most important.”

2. Be Honest

Being honest and open with your kids about your life experiences isn't always easy, but it can be beneficial. It's often a two-way street: if you want them to tell you the truth you have to do the same, and even admit that you've made some mistakes along the way. Diana C. believes that this kind of honest communication is the best way to raise her kids: "Its better to always get the truth from you than to learn some half-truth or, even worse, the wrong thing entirely, from someone else. Tell them your experiences, but also tell them what you've learned from those experiences. In the end it all comes down to communication and trust. Without those nothing you do will work."     

Jenifer M. takes the same approach when her kids ask questions, and is careful to keep what she shares age appropriate: "I try to aswer any questions honestly and upfront, but obviously I'm more informative to the older kids than the younger ones. A 9-year-old can handle the facts but doesn't need too much detail yet, and a 14 to 21-year-old gets a situation-relevant talk."

3. Set Aside Time Just For Them

If you're struggling with the relationship you have with your child, several moms offer the reassuring advice that simply spending one-on-one time with your child can really help. Setting aside that time to do something fun, just the two of you, is a good way to reconnect. Judi S., a mom of 4, says she believes in "open ears and firm boundaries." As she explains, “The time that you spend with them allows them to talk about the things that are going on in their lives. It allows them to have a sounding board, sometimes for advice and sometimes just to spew.”

Dee Ann S. was able to develop a closer relationship with her girls by doing a "mother/daughter" day every once in a while: "That seemed to help with my girls. They felt like I cared enough to spend the day with them and go on trips or just go to the mall or go get our nails done." You can use the same concept to set aside special time just for mother/son activities.

Nadja P. uses this approach with her son: "My 16-year-old son and I go to dinner, just the two of us. He picks the place and we talk about the stuff he wants to talk about organically: sports, school, college, TV shows, whatever. The conversation doesn't have to be deep, but he knows that I'm not his enemy and that he can talk to me, which makes for a better relationship all around."

What do your kids think is the "coolest" thing about their mom?                  

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Back in the 1960s and '70s it was normal to have the "sex talk" with your child somewhere around the time she went to high school. Whether that thinking was based in reality or the byproduct of a myth that kids weren't having sex yet, the common wisdom has shifted. Teenage pregnancy is rampant in the U.S., and many moms are deciding not to put off the all-important, if awkward, talk about sex. But how young is too young? Here, Circle of Moms members share issues to consider as you figure out when to broach the subject.

1. Signs of Curiosity

Dawn's daughter just turned 11 and is beginning to ask questions about sex. Dawn thinks this is her cue as a parent to step in and discuss her burgeoning sexuality. But she worries that it's too soon, that her daughter might not be ready. The overwhelming majority of moms respond, resoundingly, "No." Most agree that kids are ready when they start to ask questions or express interest, with some saying that this is true even as early as the age of seven. Your child might not talk overtly about sex, but there are other cues that she might be ready, such as what she reads and watches, as well as what her friends are doing and saying in your presence.

2. Avoiding Misinformation

A Circle of Moms member named Patience points out that you should tailor your conversation to your child's developmental stage and try to address any misunderstandings she has on the subject of sex. LaRhonda initiated a conversation about sex with her daughter at age nine, not so much because she wanted to, but because her daughter was getting misinformation from her friends at school. Moms agree that misinformation is potentially more harmful than truthful information, even if your child is not entirely prepared to hear it.

3. Not Having "The Talk" Has Consequences

Shannon recounts her own childhood with a mom who waited too late to "have the talk" with her. She ended up being pressured into sex by her boyfriend at age 12. She argues that information is power, and that a frank conversation might have prevented her from making this poor decision.

Broaching the Subject Gracefully

Many parents feel awkward having conversations about sex with their kids. But Megan recalls her own 'tween years, when she and her friends were very curious about sex and eager to get information. She suggests "stumbling" onto the topic, perhaps by referencing a video, article, or TV show that addresses sex in some way. Talking about it indirectly can open the door to an easier ongoing dialogue. Keri points out that many kids start to learn about sex around the fifth grade in health education classes, and that talking about what the school is teaching might be a good way to keep the lines of communication open.

Whatever you decide about the timing of this important conversation, let your child be your guide. Establishing good communication early in life will ensure that she trusts you enough to come to you when she really needs help.

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The secret life of tweens and teens isn’t that mysterious. They want to hang out everywhere else but at home, says Gwen and other Circle of Moms members. “After my daughter turned 12 she is constantly wanting to be with her friends and never be at home,” she says. “Our family is pretty close. My husband (her dad) and I always try to be involved in what's going on at school and talk to her about her friends and what they are doing, but she still thinks we are boring and doesn't want to be home, ever.”

She is not alone and asks: “Help, I just can’t take it anymore. Are there other moms who actually let their kids go, but wish they knew what was going on when they are away.” Pam also asks: "How do you allow your teenager freedom and still keep them safe?

Here Circle of moms share tips and tools they’ve created to stay connected to their kids who only want to hang out at their friend’s houses – or the mall.

Equip Them With the Tools to Stay Connected

Tia R. and other Circle of Moms members say the best way to give a tween or teen freedom and stay connected is to "make sure they are armed with a cell phone or other tools to stay in contact." 

But Jennifer B. suggests parents might want to be aware of the false sense of security a cell phone can provide. Says Jennifer B:“Sometimes cell phones give us a false sense of security,” she says. “ I always talk to the other parent if my child is sleeping over at his friend's house so I know they are really there. Also, we will occasionally ‘just happen to be driving by’ the area where my son is. One time we saw them walking around when they were supposed to be at his friend's house. It was so good for him to know that we keep tabs. We don't do it in a crazy stalker parent kind of way. We will also mention to our kids that someone saw them somewhere and what they saw them doing. We don't tell them who saw them. You know when you talk to your friends or neighbors and they mention they saw your kid somewhere. It doesn't have to be anything bad at all. It just lets your child know they are part of a community and that their actions do not go unnoticed.”

Make Periodic Check-ins

You don’t want to stalk your tween or teen with incessant texts or phone calls, but periodic check-ins can help you let them make the break, suggests Brittiny R. and other Circle of Moms members. “My parents periodically checked in on us to make sure we were where we were supposed to be (if me or my sibs said we were at work, mom would suddenly get a random craving for a cheeseburger at Wendy's, or decided that she wanted to go buy some candles at the mall and 'bump into' us),” she says “At the time, I hated that, but as time went on, a trust was built, and it didn't matter. My mother always said, 'if you are doing what you are supposed to be doing, why does it matter, you don't have anything to hide.”

Connect with the Other Parents

Make the connection with the other parents, so you have a good idea of who your children are spending time with, says Alison L. “Make it a point to know their friends and the friends' parents,” says Allison L. “Talk to them about the importance of choosing the right friends. Enforce rules about calling home, being where they say they will be and curfews. Ultimately, though, you need to trust that you have done your best at training them to make the right choices.”

Take it one step further and call the other parents, says Diane S. “Get to know friends and the parents of the friends,” says Diane S. “Find ones who share your same goals and rules. The kids your child hangs around with are crucial to the activities and things your child wants to do. I always called the parents and made sure where and what the kids were doing, who was going to be there, parents in the home at all times, the activity, the times and places, etc.”

Suggest Your House as the Hang Out

When your kids want to hang out with their friends, and you want to keep tabs on them, make your house the command central, Circle of Moms members suggest. Says Jamie K. “How about hanging out at your house?” she asks. “We had a revolving door at times the family room downstairs was like a hurricane hit it. But my kids and their friends were safe, and it gave me a chance to get to know the kids' friends. There were times my kids weren't even home and the friends were vegging in our basement playing Xbox or were outside on the trampoline, in the pool, skateboarding on our driveway.”

Constance agrees. “My house is like the community center as I have seven kids that range from six to 19. They all have tons of friends and they are always here. As far as not letting her go every single time she may not like it but she is 14 she still needs limits.”

Give a Little Rope

Part of staying connected is letting go a little, Circle of Moms members agree. “If she is sticking to her curfew then you are very lucky and should allow her some freedom but just explain to her now that she will soon have a heavy work load from school which will have to come first,” says Louise G. “There is nothing wrong with letting her go every night as long as homework is done.”

Jodi H. adds: "The thing with teens is to really consider the rules and boundaries before agreeing to their requests,” she says. “As.we say yes or go along with certain behavior it becomes really hard to say no or change our minds later. I say keep them around for as long as you can till you can really feel the need to give another inch, one small inch at a time,” 

How do you stay connected to your tweens and teens when they're not home?

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It may be puppy love to us, but your child's first romantic relationship can rock their world. As Circle of Moms member Fiona T. says: "The first time a relationship ends, you have no perspective that life will go on and you will meet other people, because you are so young that you just don't realize it's not the end of everything."

With your tween or teen's emotions and hormones running high, you may find yourself at a loss for how to help. If your child is going through her first big breakup and you're not sure what (if anything) you should do, here are five smart tips from Circle of Moms communities.

1. Be Available

Even if you're aware that your kid is going through a tough time with a boyfriend or girlfriend, you may find that they can't or won't talk to you about it. Circle of Moms member Tamara W. discovered that she could help her son best by just being there and showing she cared: "I helped validate his feelings and was there to listen. Don't (take) it personally if he shuts down and doesn't want to talk about it, just take his lead on the conversations... just being there and let him know that you love him and care."

Tammy C. draws on memories of her own high school breakup to understand why kids go quiet and how parents can help. Although it was almost 20 years ago, she still remembers how much her mom was there for her even when she didn't want to talk: "The whole time she did so much by saying so little. I don't think there's a right thing to say or do, but to let nature run its course. Wait for her to talk, like my mom did. It worked."

2. Boost Self Esteem

Most of us know from experience that failure in a relationship can create feelings of depression and self-doubt. This is true whether you are 14 or 40, and it's important that your teen keep a strong sense of self-worth through the process. Circle of Moms member Allie R. has a suggestion for moms of daughters: "...Gloss it up and let her know how pretty she is and that the boy missed out on a wonderful person."

Luann B. also shares how important these times are, because experiences such as first love and first breakup teach us how to cope as adults: "After listening, it may also help to just compliment her on her strengths and encourage her. Hard times [are] what makes a person strong and resilient, and she can use these times to develop coping skills."

3. Be Non-Judgmental

You may feel like a sounding board at times, as your son or daughter unleashes a fury of emotions. Anger can be a normal part of any breakup, and it is important for your child to let it out in a safe and non-judgmental environment. As Kimberly P. says: "Just listen and let her cry on your shoulder. No judgements or opinions." Another member, Angie B., agrees that it's important to "be supportive and let her know you are available for venting."

4. Distract

Your teen may have time on her hands now, time that used to be spent with her former flame. You certainly can't take the place of that lost love, but you can help her use that time constructively instead of wallowing. Circle of Moms member Lori suggests filling the void with distractions such as shopping or going out to dinner: "She is missing that boy and his company and the last thing she needs is a rebound relationship."

A member named Di O. also recommends the idea of positive distraction: Try to get her involved in some out of school activities: sports, drama, art, dancing, church youth group, whatever. Something to take her mind off this boy, make some new friends, and, if it's something she can improve or succeed in, it may help her self esteem."

5. Look for Signs of Depression or Abuse

Some kids need more than a shoulder to cry on and a little time to move on. You'll want to keep an eye out for signs that your son or daughter might need some type of therapy to get through this. As mentioned above, some amount of isolation and self reflection is normal as a tween or teen goes through the emotions of a breakup, but it's dangerous when they withdraw from everything: friends, family, activities, etc. Circle of Moms member Shelly B. says the only times you should intervene is in cases of total withdrawal, or if you suspect your child may be hurting him or her self.

Moms in our communities also warn about the dangers of an abusive partner or ex. As mom Angie B. says: "If he becomes abusive then everything changes and you should step in and do whatever you have to do to keep her safe." If you suspect that your son or daughter is in an abusive relationship, seek help from The National Dating Abuse Helpline at loveisrespect.org.

One of the most important things to remember is that bad relationships teach us so much. How your teen gets through this time will shape how she deals with relationships and copes with crises in her life for years to come. Don't be afraid to reach out to your child, and to seek counseling if you think she needs it.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Kids go through many phases as they grow up, but one of the most perplexing for many parents is when a previously clean kid starts avoiding the shower. It doesn't seem to matter that your child is otherwise vain; all of a sudden he doesn't want to bathe, wash his hair, or brush his teeth. And what's even more alarming is that not every kid goes through this phase.

So what are the causes of hygiene-neglect? Is it normal? And what can you do to help your tween or teen move through it as quickly as possible? Here, Circle of Moms members share their experiences.

1. Depression

After wondering why her daughter was skipping showers to the point that she smelled bad, Iris A. figured out that her daughter was mildly depressed. Neglecting self-care is a common symptom of depression. If someone is too sad, or too beleaguered by low self-esteem or by thoughts of emotional or social problems, self-care is one of the first things to go.

What to Do About It

Your child needn't have full-blown depression in order to exhibit these behaviors; she might simply be distracted with life at school and among her friends. One Circle of Moms parent who didn't feel the need to address the problem head-on simply took her daughter swimming a lot. It didn't address the root concern, but it effectively got her clean! Another, Jen T., bought her daughter body wash as an indirect way of communicating that she needed it, and also takes her daughter's laundry out of her room so that she wears clothes only once.

If you have any inkling that your child might be depressed, take him to see a counselor, psychologist, or other mental health care provider right away. A professional might be able to see something you can't.

2. Laziness

Michele W. was shocked when her son hit puberty and stopped changing his socks and underwear. He still applied deodorant, but only in lieu of showering. He seemed to be too tired to bother with basic hygiene.

Should You Force the Issue? 

Michele and several other Circle of Moms members say this is natural and not worth fighting since it's a phase that passes when the hormonal surges die down. They point out that there are good reasons teenagers are so lethargic and lazy; they are growing and changing rapidly, both physically and emotionally.

Karen A. agrees that showering is not worth a fight, but draws a line at teeth brushing: her kids must, absolutely, brush their teeth, as not doing so has long-term health consequences.

3. Asserting Control

The push-pull that underlies many aspects of parenting tends to come to a head during the teen years. Power struggles are magnified — and what better way for a teen to exercise some power than to control the one thing that's undeniably his own and no one else's? The body is precisely that thing, and that's why, as Melanie B. explains, only some kids go through this phase. If you don't think your teen is depressed or overly hormonal, then chalk it up to a willful temperament that may one day serve them well.

"Kids Don't Smell Themselves"

Jen T. thinks the reason for many teens' neglect of personal hygiene is often very simple: Kids don't smell themselves! Whatever the root cause of your teen's neglect of hygiene, try to understand the context in which it's happening, so that you can choose an appropriate response — which may well be to do nothing and wait for the phase to pass.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Moodiness. Willfulness. Anger. Attitude. Do these adjectives describe anyone you know? If you have a teenager in your house, bets are that these words are all familiar. But although you know the challenges of raising a teen are par for the course, you still get frustrated. So, take a deep breath, kick up your feet, and read the best advice from Circle of Moms members on how to help your teens become fabulous adults.

1. Be Aware of Your Teen's Developmental Stages

Remember when they were tiny and their tantrums filled the house without warning, over seemingly nothing? Well, those days are back, at least hormonally speaking. Ann H. reminds us that teenagers' brains are not yet fully developed, that teens often "shut down" when they are stressed. This is why she does her best to remain in a calm state, regardless of what her teen is doing at the other end. It takes two to have a screaming match, and you don't have to participate in those.

2. Give Your Teen the Benefit of the Doubt

Melinda M. says that there are always opportunities to talk to your child more as an equal, or friend, than someone you want to control. Even when your teenager obviously needs guidance, try to avoid judgment and offer an open channel of safe communication. Your teen is much more likely to talk honestly with you if he trusts he's not being judged. Annette A. even writes letters to her teenaged kids and finds that this is often a better form of communication that a conversation. Letters allow each person to express him or herself without getting wrapped up in the emotions of the moment.

3. Remember What It's Like to Be a Teenager

Your kid's challenges probably look much like your own did, way back when. Amy C. actively tries to imagine herself in her teen daughter's shoes, and says this helps her access the empathy she always wants to offer. It also reminds her that teenagers tend to live in their own world. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but it is hard to bridge the gap. Empathy helps.

4. Share Both Successes and Failures

Dawne P.'s biggest revelation about raising her son was that she hadn't trusted that he would learn from her example. Sharing both your successes and your failures, your bad moments and your good, is one of the best ways to help your kids learn from you. Trying to hide your mistakes, or the fact that you're not a perfect person, just creates unrealistic expectations.

5. Give Him Space

Tanika W. has found that simply walking away from a heated conversation and giving her son space, both physical and emotional, has helped them both re-focus. We all know how difficult this is to do, especially when we're entrenched in an important conversation or are unwilling to waver. But a break from conflict will often reset the conversation's tone. When we take (and give) one another this space, we're better able to successfully resolve disagreements.

Image Source: Mike Baird via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

To many people, writing letters of thanks is a dying courtesy, but not to Circle of Moms members like Amber D. and Mary R.. As Amber points out, friends and relatives would enjoy giving kids presents even more if they “at least said thank you.”

Not only should kids should write thank you notes, she says, but when they avoid the task, it is a parent's job "to reinforce their manners.”

Why do some moms feel so strongly about this issue? Here are three important benefits they say kids receive from writing thank you notes.

1. It Helps Children Learn to Feel Gratitude

Numerous Circle of Moms members say that encouraging their children to send written notes helps them teach and reinforce the importance of feeling gratitude. Says Missy S., ”I want my kids to be grateful for what they have and not complain. . . .This is one way to teach them to be more grateful and appreciate what they have.”

(Several Circle of Moms members mention another technique they've found for teaching their children to give thanks and appreciate their blessings: “My kids donate some of the toys they get for Christmas as a way to say thank you,” says Carla A., which "teaches them about sacrificial giving.”)

2. It Strengthens a Child's Bonds with Family 

Mary R. says that sending written thank you notes keeps her children connected to their extended family. She had been in the habit of writing thank you notes long before becoming a mom and discovered that it came back to her in spades when her first child was born. All those friends and relatives she'd showed her appreciation to over the years sent "gifts and savings bonds" to welcome her new baby.

But Mary also points out that the impuse to say "thank you" in a formal way goes beyond mere politeness. When her grandparents passed away, she "knew without a doubt" from all her years of sending them thank you notes that they were aware "how much I loved them and appreciated them." She wants her own kids to have the same kind of tight bonds with extended and far-flung family members.

3. Good Manners Help Kids Succeed in Life

Many Circle of Moms members feel it is important for their kids to send thank you notes simply because people love getting them. The practice of writing these notes helps kids develop critical social skills that are essential to maintaining strong relationships. As a Circle of Moms member who calls herself "Schmoopy" explains, “It’s part of a larger issue of manners."

Do you make your kids send thank you notes?

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.