preschool

Picking the right school for your child can be a complex decision, even at the preschool level. So it’s hardly surprising when moms like Gabrielle B. seek advice. “Should the focus be on education, since the kindergarten experience is so much more competitive than in the past, i.e., ‘the new first grade?’ Or is the play-based environment with a loving caretaker more important in laying a foundation for curiosity and love of learning?” Gabrielle asks about selecting a preschool.

The answer, of course, depends on several factors, including Gabrielle's parenting philosophy. Here, Circle of Moms members offer three tips to help parents decide whether a play-based preschool is compatible with their approach to parenting, and whether it's right for their child.

1. You Value Child's Play

Play-based preschools are founded on the idea that childhood learning should be fun. “Research has shown time and time again that … children learn more through play at [the preschool] age than through structured education,” says Circle of Moms member Sharon S.

Furthermore, new research indicates that teaching kids academic skills at a young age can actually backfire, adds a mom named Michele D. To avoid that outcome, the play-based preschool curriculum strives to strike the optimal balance between learning and play. Play-based preschools are neither unstructured nor un-academic, says Tiffany K.; although there's lots of play going on, the activities are still structured by physical area and time.

By focusing on play, says mom Paula O., play-based preschool cultivate “an amazing love for learning.” Two years ago, her then three-year-old daughter was academically — but not socially — ready for kindergarten. Paula enrolled her daughter in a play-based preschool, and today, her five-year-old talks regularly about various subjects she is interested in, reads chapter books, does her homework herself, and is advanced compared to other students in her kindergarten class.

2. You Want to Nurture Creativity

Moms who set reading and writing milestones for their children to reach will likely be disappointed by a play-based curriculum. That’s because a play-based preschool is similar to the system in Italy, in which children don’t receive formal lessons in reading and numbers until they start elementary school at age 6, Melanie B. says. “Children need to learn through play, not studying … Studies have found that children who are forced to learn to read and write at an early age lose the ability to play, which limits their creativity later,” she says.

Another supporter of play-based preschools, Candace F., says she specifically avoided preschools with an academic “agenda” when enrolling her 3- and 4-year-old children in preschool. “At 3, [children] don't need to learn to read or write (other than writing their name). There are many skills that prepare them for school without the pressure of ‘learning’ skills that are better left until they are ready for elementary school.”

The fact that some academic-focused preschools assign homework is somewhat horrifying to play-based preschool moms. Marie B.’s three-year-old daughter received homework on her first day of school. But forcing a preschooler to complete homework risks instilling a dislike of learning, says Zoe K.: “Preschools should be allowed to just let a child act like a child,” she says.

3. You Want To Focus on Socialization

Many parents send their children to preschool to improve their socialization skills through engaging with other children, and given the need for sharing, negotiation, and group dynamics during play, this is an area in which play-based preschools tend to excel. Robin K. says she chose a play-based preschool for her son so that he could ease into a school environment while making friends.

“Socializing is very important, and preschool provides a way for them to do it,” she says. “Our preschool has craft time, play time, story time, snack time, and play with all other kids his age in a gymnasium setting … it’s all coordinated in such a way [that] he is learning.”

Moms Christina H. and Jesse K. also chose play-based programs for their children because they wanted them to get used to interacting with other kids their own age. 

Ultimately, a play-based preschool will be the right choice for your child if you believe “the purpose of preschool is to play, socialize, and introduce your child into the academic setting gradually, through creative play,” says a Circle of Moms member named Sapphire. She initially sought out preschools that would challenge her son academically, but then quickly changed her mind after realizing that her son “simply needs to be a kid now, while he is young."

“There is more to being in a traditional preschool setting than just letter and number recognition,” she says, adding that kids have "plenty of time for the hard-core academics later on.”

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Will a Waldorf preschool work for your child? Developed by Austrian philosopher and teacher Rudolf Steiner, Waldorf schools “strive to transform education into an art that educates the whole child — the heart, hands and the head.”

Supporters say a Waldorf education provides a more holistic alternative to educating the whole child than traditional schools because the curriculum develops a child’s love for learning and “emphasizes a deeper reverence for and communion with the natural world.”

For those reasons, Circle of Moms member Carolyn B. “likes a lot of the Waldorf ideas and methods.” Yet she’s still not sure the school will work for her four-year-old daughter. Of course getting a Waldorf education is more expensive than a public school education. Plus, the schools are much more popular in Europe than in the U.S., which means Carolyn’s neighborhood Waldorf school does not have as diverse of a student population as she would like.

If you are on the fence about whether a Waldorf preschool is the right choice for you and your child, Circle of Moms members offer four ways to help you decide.

1. Your Child Needs to Go At His Own Pace

One of the cornerstones of a Waldorf education is “its commitment to developmental appropriateness,” according to a Circle of Moms member who calls herself "Schmoopy." The Waldorf philosophy believes a person’s capacities unfold in three developmental stages on the path to adulthood — early childhood, middle childhood and adolescence, and “Education is highly tailored to a child's developmental stage every step of the way,” Schmoopy explains. “The philosophy is very protective of childhood, maintaining that children need time to ‘unfold their wings’ at their own pace. If we force them to unfurl too soon, irreparable damage is done.”

For this reason, Waldorf schools can be beneficial for children with learning disabilities, like autism and ADD, and others who need to learn at a non-traditional pace, Dawn S. says.

Valerie C. relays that because her son, who was diagnosed with a not otherwise specified pervasive developmental disorder, requires an individualized educational plan (IEP), she will now only live in places that have Waldorf schools.

2. Traditional Benchmarks Don't Concern You

Waldorf students do not receive formal lessons in reading and writing in preschool and kindergarten. Instead, in the first developmental stage of the Waldorf philosophy, emphasis is placed on imagination and social interaction.

“Writing is not normally emphasized until the end of their sixth year, around age 7. Then from writing, the child develops a natural affinity to read,” Ava S. explains.

As a result of the delayed teaching schedule, "Schmoopy" shares that her daughter “has really enjoyed the process of learning to read and write.”

Circle of Moms member Delia agrees. Her daughter received a Waldorf education and didn’t start reading until third grade,” and what I noticed was [she] turned into a strong reader who loved reading.”

3. Your Child Thrives With Consistency

Each developmental stage in the Waldorf curriculum lasts seven to eight years, and a Waldorf class teacher typically stays with the same group of children. This means that once the children reach the elementary school years, they’re likely to have the same teacher for all eight years. It’s that consistency that leads children to develop a natural rhythm of interaction with their teacher, Waldorf supporters say.

It also helps create deep and meaningful long-term relationships, Kristi H. says, adding that her kids "are in a Waldorf school where the whole day, week, year and life in general is based on finding and working with rhythm.”

“We strive every day to adopt the Waldorfian way of life because at its core, it's about simplicity, natural rhythms, and love,” shares Molly M.

4. The Curriculum Matches Your Values

The most important factor in determining whether a Waldorf education is right for your child is how well the Waldorf approach meshes with your parenting goals.

All certified Waldorf schools place equal educational emphasis on practical, academic, and artistic subjects. Children learn about myths, legends, and seasonal festivals, which leads some people to accuse Waldorf schools of being "Pagan-ish," while others find them Christian-leaning, says Carolyn B.

“The best thing you can do is tour the preschool and find the one that matches your parenting philosophy the closest. A very good question to ask the preschool is, ‘How do they keep the curriculum challenging for students all three years?’ or ‘What are the overarching educational goals [for] children for each year of preschool?’” says Hannah D.

Why these particular questions? “At the end of the day, you will be [supporting] (or should be supporting) whatever is going on in school for the rest of your [child’s] educational career.”

Image Source: Edward Melendez via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Preparing for Kindergarten can be overwhelming. While most children start at 5 years old, some public and private schools are enrolling children as young as 4. The decision about when to start kindergarten should depend not only on what is offered in your area, but on your child's abilities and maturity. Here are some questions to think about if you are considering "testing in" for early kindergarten admittance.

1. Is Your Child Ready Academically?

Many parents who consider their child to be advanced academically prefer the early start route, and some schools, both private and public, will let them. Ashley F.'s school district allows 4-year-olds who will be turning 5 during the fall months to start kindergarten early. She signed her daughter up based on her academic readiness: "She knows her ABCs, 123s, Colors, Shapes, can write and spell her own name, mine some other family member names, and a few other daily used words and can read beginner books."

Jenny started her daughter in kindergarten early (at the age of 4) because she didn't want to underestimate their potential: It worked out fine for Jenny; her daughter excelled in kindergarten; she was reading "off the charts" by the time the year was over, "and was thrilled to be there."

But even if your child is familiar with letters, numbers, shapes, and colors at the age of 4, is she really ready to handle the rigorous curriculum of some kindergarten programs? Cassie C. advises waiting. In her school district, kindergarten is very structured: "Children are pushed very hard to read and write all day (even if they are not developmentally ready). The kindergarten curriculum has become very demanding on young children and can add a lot of undue stress and pressure to a 4-year-old or a newly 5-year-old."

(To find out where your child should be with reading, writing, and math in order to start kindergarten, this article can help: What Your Child Should Know By Kindergarten.)

2. Is Your Child Mature Enough?

It's hard to predict how any child will handle a major change such as starting kindergarten. You might know your child's technical reading and math skill level, but the social and emotional challenges of kindergarten are hard to predict. This is especially true if your child will be the youngest, or one of the youngest in class. As Lindsay H. says: "Some kids thrive in kindergarten and some struggle but it's hard to know how they will handle it until they are actually in that setting."

Circle of Moms member and preschool teacher Karol D. offers some advice on behavioral skills that are helpful in kindergarten: "The things I try to work on with my class are ability to follow 2-part directions (get a toy and sit on the carpet), [and] being considerate of others' feelings (Jenny is upset because you wouldn't share with her, is that okay?). Lastly, I make certain my class can sit quietly to listen and not be disruptive." Does you child have the maturity to learn in a kindergarten environment?

Some parents advise considering the possibility that your young child could face bullying, even at the kindergarten level. Being younger or smaller than the rest of the kids at their grade level can put a child at extra risk of being targeted by a bully. As Jane H. says, "Size. . . is important. He'll be developmentally behind... so when puberty hits, he will be left behind. Tweenagers can be cruel. All food for thought."

3. What If They Get Held Back Later?

Although most early starters will make it through kindergarten and beyond, the gap in maturity and learning ability can become apparent later. Being held back is a tough process for everyone involved, and one that can sometimes be avoided by starting kindergarten at the appropriate time. Tonya M. shares her experience after starting her son in kindergarten at age 4: "Halfway through kindergarten his teacher recommended holding him back because he was behind some of the other kids, and did not blend as well socially. . . we felt a bit pressured by the school. . . we all agreed to let him go to the first grade, however about halfway through the first grade it was the same thing, he started falling behind. . . It was at that time the school convinced us to hold him back."

Many moms whose children have been held back after kindergarten or first grade say it was ultimately for the best. As Risa T. says: "Better to do it when they are young than wait until the later years when there a stigma about being held back."

4. What Are The Long Term Effects?

For kids who are ready for kindergarten at the age of 4, starting early can give them opportunities they crave. This was the case for Rebeka B., who started Kindergarten at 4 and was always the youngest in her class: "Once I got into college I loved it. I started college at 17 and graduated with my BSN at 21 years old and that was great!

Jody B. is a Circle of Moms member and an elementary principal, and she gives a different perspective on the long run approach and the pressures that lay ahead: "When parents ask me to start their kids early, I always ask them to think beyond kindergarten. . . beyond elementary school. . . ask yourself if you would rather have your son dealing with middle school bullies and pressures a year younger than his peers. . . ask yourself if you would rather your son deal with dating drama and pressures in high school a year younger than his peers. . . and ask yourself if you would rather your son leave for college as a young 17-year-old."

Ultimately, Mom Knows Best

If the school district qualifies your child for an early start, the decision is in your hands. You know your kid better than anyone, and you have the most firsthand knowledge of her skills and maturity level on a day-to-day basis. Sarah M. agrees that this decision should be the parent's, and should depend entirely on the particular child: "You know whether your child will cope or not."

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Parent-teacher conferences are designed to help you keep a pulse on your preschooler’s progress. But at those first few meetings, moms can feel as nervous as a child on his first day of school.

“At these interviews I have no idea what to expect and what the teacher expects from me when [she] asks me if I have any questions,” says Circle of Moms member Vickie T. Rather than replying, ‘No, I don't have any questions at this time, but I will let you know if I have any concerns.,' she wants to come across "as a parent who does care about my child’s education."

If you, like Vickie, want to know how to prep for your first parent-teacher meeting, consider the following tips from Circle of Moms members.

1. Make Time for the Meeting

The most important thing you can do is to actually attend the meeting. “Unfortunately only about half of the parents of my students come to parent-teacher conferences,” says Jennifer K., who is both a teacher and a mom.

“Most teachers would be willing to meet before or after school or even have a phone conference. Basically, the parent-teacher conference is a time for you to make sure your child's needs are being met by the teacher and school.” If you can't make the initially proposed conference time, call the teacher and ask for a different date or time. And if you’re running late for a scheduled meeting, it’s common courtesy to contact the teacher beforehand, says a member who goes by 'Tickled Pink.'

2. Keep Distractions Out of the Classroom

To minimize distractions during the conference, turn off your cell phone and keep your children out of the meeting. “I've had parents who could barely look at their child's scores because they were busy trying to feed the baby, keep the baby occupied or keep the baby from choking on something in the classroom … Sometimes the best thing is for adventurous little ones is to stay home,” advises Jennifer K.

A member named Kimberly agrees, saying, “Leaving young children at home . . . [will] help you stay focused on the discussion with the teacher.”

3. Prepare a Few Questions

Several Circle of Moms members encourage bringing a short list of questions to the meeting, focusing on the one or two topics you want to discuss most. “Long lists of questions can consume the entire conference time and are often answered by the teacher as he/she shares your child's progress,” explains a member named Kimberly.

Your questions can include any concerns you might have about behavior, friendships, personality conflicts, or activities you can do at home to help supplement your child’s education, suggests Erica L. Ask the teacher whether your child is struggling or needs to be challenged, Kimberly adds. “Your teacher should be able to provide specific instructions to help you focus on the most important academic skills to reinforce,” she says.

You can also simply ask how your child's social skills are developing, going through a list of Essential Social Skills for Preschoolers.

4. Ask How You Can Help

Then, ask the teacher how you can help. At Rebekah D.'s parent-teacher meeting, she volunteers to buy some Montessori materials for the classroom as a gesture of her willingness to help. Other parents volunteer to read or share a skill with the students, which many teachers welcome.

Parent-teacher conferences are designed to keep the lines of communication open, so even if you don't yet have specific questions, just taking in what the teacher has to say is very important. “Being informed is one of the best ways to help your child achieve,” adds Bernadette G.

Image Source: Sean Dreilinger via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Snuggle up! Most children require some daytime ZZZs at least through preschool — even if they fight it with all of their lil might. Here are some tips to help lil ones settle down for a snooze — or at least some quiet time — even in the classroom.

• Maintain a consistent nap time. If your tot's classroom has scheduled nap time for 1 p.m., stick to the same schedule at home — and that includes weekends.
• Send your lil one to school with her lovey — but with clear directions for the teachers that it's only to be taken out at nap time.
• Preschoolers love to feel like they are making their own decisions. Let them feel like they're part of the process by choosing a special nap mat for the new school year.
• It's important for a toddler to fall asleep on his own at night. If they can't figure out how to self soothe in their own environment, there's no chance they'll just drift off in a classroom, on the floor, surrounded by other kids and distractions.
• Nap time can be anxiety producing for restless tots. Talk to your tots about what will be expected, and reassure them that it's OK if they can't sleep; but, they will have to find a quiet activity to do, like reading or coloring, so as not to disturb the other students.

While some kids and parents have no problem with the first day of preschool, for many tots and mamas, the first day of school marks the first degree of separation and can be a very emotional and difficult day. Here are some first-day-of-preschool tips to help you deal with your emotions, so that you can be a supportive and loving parent but not give in to the whimpers of your child.

Here's what you should do:

1. Smile and stay positive. You might have expected tears from your kid, but if you find yourself on the verge of tears, try to breathe through them and wait until you have dropped your child off you go into a boo-hooing fit. It's important that your child senses that you are taking them to a fun, happy, and secure place. If you start crying, they will pick up on your emotions and will become worried, too. Smiling and showing excitement will help them sense that preschool will be fun.
2. Listen to the teacher. It's tempting to do what you think is best for your kid, but preschool teachers have experience and a game plan for upset preschoolers. They will mostly likely tell you that it's best if you leave, even if your child is still crying. Within five minutes of play, a child will usually stop crying. However, if your child becomes unruly, the teacher will contact you.

See more first day of preschool tips.

Do your preschooler’s playdates devolve into grabby toy tug-of-wars? Try these 5 strategies suggested by Circle of Moms members for reducing toy squabbles and teaching young children to share.

1. Set a Good Example

As Circle of Moms members like Andrea C. suggest, modeling good sharing behavior is key to teaching a child to share: “Try playing with him at home and offer to share what you have with him. If you both have something to play with, you can tell him ‘I’ll share my toy with you and you can share your toy with me.’ Give him your toy and see if he gives you his (at the same time)."

2. Praise Positive Behavior

Praising generosity can also encourage sharing. Heather S. explains: “Instead of punishing when he doesn’t share, reward him when he does. Make a big deal out of it. 'Ooh' and 'aah' over him for sharing. He’ll catch on eventually that it is a good thing to share…Give him good attention for good things he does and he will reward you with better behavior.”

3. Be Time-Sensitive and Realistic

Young children often worry that sharing means their toys are gone forever. As a result, try imposing time limits on how long shared toys can be played with. Preschool teacher Vanessa A. also advises that parents' sharing expectations should be realistic: “If he only has a small piece of cake, is it realistic to expect him to give some of it away? If it’s his brand-new toy that he's just opened up, or if it’s a toy that demands he be actively involved, can he just drop what he's doing and give it to someone else?”

4. Make Some Toys Share-Free

It’s natural for children to begin developing a sense of ownership. Many Circle of Moms members, including Angie D., encourage letting children have some share-free toys: “Maybe you could try telling your 4 year old she can pick a couple toys of hers that are off limits to the little one but she has to share the rest of them.” Savannah R. agrees: “My oldest son has a blankie that he doesn't have to share and my little one has a stuffed puppy that he doesn’t have to share. It seems to make them happier, knowing that they do have something that is ‘just theirs’ and they don't mind sharing the rest of the toys as much."

5. Enforce Consequences

If a child continues refusing to share, many moms recommend enforcing consequences, and in particular, taking away the toy in question. As mother of one Charlotte D. shared: “If he doesn’t want to share his toys when friends come over to play I just take everything away and tell him, ‘If you and your friends can play nicely together you can have your toys back.’ It works every time.”

Finding a great preschool can be an overwhelming process, as countless conversations on Circle of Moms will attest, but we're trying to make it easier! To help kickstart your preschool search, we've rounded up 10 important factors to consider (aside from cost) when choosing a preschool for your child, including both information you can research at home and key questions to ask on site visits.

1. References

"Word of mouth is priceless," shares Christin H., a mother of three children. The sheer number of preschool choices in any given city can make the research process seem overwhelming. To narrow your search, many Circle of Moms members suggest asking friends and family for recommendations. As Rachel F. shares: "We were referred by a coworker, and I knew other parents with kids there...Opinions from current/previous parents definitely helped us since there are so many to choose from and it’s hard to know which is best."

2. Curriculum and Structure

As Griselda H. advised, you have many different preschool teaching philosophies and curriculums to choose from: "When choosing a preschool, you need to keep in mind if you want to put your child in a 'developmental' or 'academic' preschool." From Montessori to Waldorf to Reggio-Emilia, each preschool will have a particular daily structure and typical activities, so be sure to ask what a typical day would look like.

3. Location

Is it more convenient to have your child’s preschool near home or work? Near your work, your partner's, or somewhere between? Working out the logistics of how you’ll be dropping off and picking up your child from preschool can help narrow down your options.

4. Staff-to-Child Ratios

As Christy M. advises, ask about the staff-to-child ratios of potential preschools: "What are their ratios of teachers to children? Do they follow state ratios or something lower?" Mother-of-two Kelly A. agrees: "A red flag should go up if there seems to be too many kids and not enough adults to care for them."

5. Interaction between Staff and Children

When you visit a potential preschool, moms liks Judy R. recommend observing how the staff and children interact: "Do the children in the class room approach the adults? Do the teachers seem to huddle and chat to each other or play with the children? Try to overhear teacher’s tone of voice when you're in the hall outside the classroom, do they speak to the children or bark orders? You want a center that has a loving nurturing environment. One that stimulates a child’s curiosity. If you find that, the child will come to love school."

6. Staff Turnover Rate

"Ask about staff turnover rate," advises Canadian mom Nicole K. "If it is high (change in staff every couple of months) avoid them. Child care centers or preschools with high staff turnover rates mean the staff are unhappy and there is something not necessarily apparent that is wrong, whether it is because the staff are under paid, the center is managed poorly or the center is understaffed, never has enough money for art supplies or outside toys, etc."

7. Discipline Policy

"What type of system do they use when there is a problem? Positive reinforcement? Time out?" Marcy C., mother of a 4-year-old, is one of several Circle of Moms members who recommend checking that a potential preschool uses discipline methods you approve of.

8. Cleanliness

While preschools are apt to be messy (they are a playroom for young children, after all), many moms advise checking that potential preschools are still reasonably clean. Chiquita B. shares: "The first thing I do is take a walk through the kitchen and bathroom of the school. That way I can see how they feel about hygiene, as I think it is very important."

9. Food

Are you selective about what your child eats? Look into what kinds of foods are served to make sure the menu is consistent with your child's health and nutritional needs. Allergies can also be an issue, as Michelle P. shared: "Lots of centres are peanut and egg free but they explained that they cannot be totally responsible for what is eaten beforehand."

10. Gut Reaction

Valerie W. is one of many Circle of Moms members who stress that you should trust your gut reactions about preschools: "If you get a bad feeling about a place, don't bring your child there. You are probably right. Also always trust your gut. If something seems off about a place, trust this instinct."

Looking for more information about preschools?

From debates about Montessori preschools to conversations about preschool tuition, Circle of Moms has information on all kinds of educational topics. Try joining communities like Moms of Preschoolers and Working Moms to connect with other moms facing similar challenges.