preschool

To some extent, your child’s genes determine whether he’ll be a strong leader, according to an article published in Psychology Today. DNA is being analyzed to search for genes that "confer leadership ability and other personality traits relevant to business," and a picture — albeit a hazy one — is emerging, say the article’s authors, Mark van Vugt and Anjana Ahuja. 

Putting genetics aside however, it’s likely that your preschooler’s personality is already emerging. So what’s a mom to do when her child appears to be less of a leader and more of a natural born follower?

That’s the dilemma I’m facing because my son’s teacher shared that her biggest concern about my son is that he’s too easily influenced by a few trouble-makers in class. At home, too, I’ve noticed he is hesitant to do anything until he can copy and follow in the footsteps of someone else. For my son’s sake, I want him to take more initiative and make good choices. He’ll have to make decisions on his own once he's an adult, after all. So here’s how I plan to give the advantage to nurture over nature, and put him on the path that leads to more independent thinking.

1. Talk About Making Good Choices

While I fret when my preschooler copies another child — his behavior is actually quite common for his age, Circle of Moms members reassure me.

For example, like me, Amber G.'s four-year-old son always wants to do what other kids are doing, even if one of those kids is doing something bad:"He even volunteered to go to the office because another kid went and he wanted to go too, even though the teacher explained that it's not a good thing to be sent to the office," she shares, adding that she doesn't want him "getting into bad [things] and turning into a bad kid because he wants to be like everyone else."

To ensure that a childhood tendency to be a follower doesn’t turn into a permanent personality trait however, Circle of Moms members suggest moms like me talk about good choices with our children. "All kids are followers to some extent. They are still learning about the world, so will do what others do, good or bad. You have to instruct him on which is the right way and how to make good choices," advises Alisha N.  

"Moms must let their children understand the true meaning of being an independent person," Cecille I. adds. "To put this into effect, you should let [your child] know the importance and practice of responsibility. Knowing her responsibilities will make it easier for her to cope with her obligations as [she] grows up."

2. Give Options

Moms Amy E., Candace S. and Tiffany A. suggest preschoolers practice making good decisions. Candace describes starting your child off with choices over little stuff. "For example, let him pick out what he's going to wear in the morning: 'This shirt, or this one?' 'These pants or those?' Do this with as much stuff as you can: 'Milk or water?' 'Bath or shower?' 'This story or that one?'”

"Make up situations that can come up with school, and help him learn what his 'instead' options are," adds Tiffany. "Practice [decision-making] like you're his classmates; they love to pretend, and it will help better than your telling him not to do what the do."

When you give your child choices: "It makes them feel more responsible for their decisions," Amy explains. 

As Maricelis M. says, being a follower in preschool can be a phase, and you don’t want to to allow that phase to grow into something your child will always do. "Allowing your child to build his self confidence and make some choices on the smaller scale of his daily routine. As time passes he'll graduate from making really small decisions to slightly more important ones. [Then he can] reap the benefits of making good decisions, but also understanding and dealing with the consequences of making bad decisions," she explains.

3. Reward Good Decisions

As your child starts to get the hang of making choices, praise and reward his good decisions. As Candace advises, "Allow him to take natural consequences for poor ones. . . . Let him make his own decisions about little stuff, thus teaching him how to make decisions about bigger stuff." And when your child makes good decisions and commend him with pride and joy for each positive step he achieves, he'll want to continue to elicit that positive response from you, adds Pamela L.

4. Introduce Chores

Chores are an excellent way to build self-confidence and teach the kind of responsibility that comes naturally to leaders. Even preschoolers can be given small tasks — like getting meals and snacks ready, giving a cashier the money, taking the change, and helping to pack the groceries in the bag.

"Show them the task and how it is done, then let them do it,” Valerie says. “Don’t step in unless they ask or can get hurt." Then, complement and reward your child for doing well.

Denikka G. feels similarly that giving kids chores encourages their independence. Her son has been helping her around the house since he was about two years old, and now that he’s three-and-a-half, he helps to unload the dishwasher, load the laundry, sweep and vacuum, wash his own body, brush his own teeth, and wipe himself after going potty. "If they're capable, why shouldn't they be doing it, or at least taking an active role in helping?" she asks.

Chores followed by positive encouragement for a job well done helps children feel like they have control of parts of their lives, explains Jessica W. "It makes them feel safe and comfortable when they can be in control of something in their little world."

Susanne K. agrees, adding that chores help children to know that they are needed. "If they have to help, they will have a higher self-worth."

5. Don't Do Everything for Your Child

Janet P. says the best way to teach your child to be more of a leader and less of a follower is to stop being there at every turn. "[Children] learn to be independent because you back off and let them handle thing on their own," she adds.

Arleen L. agrees, saying parents shouldn't solve every problem for their child. "Encourage him/her to think through a situation; work through and eliminate your own fears; build confidence by believing in their abilities; instill self-worth by loving unconditionally (that does not mean giving in!); stay firm in your convictions; and give consistent expectations and rewards," she says.

Moreover, if you fail to teach your child to make choices, take responsibility, be independent and be self-reliant, then you can’t expect him to take things seriously and act his age when it’s time to, cautions Kate S.

This last point resonated with me. As a parent, it’s not only my responsibility to love, care and protect my preschooler, but also to teach him how to take care of himself and prepare him for life on his own.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Do you ever suspect that your child behaves differently at preschool than he does at home? Do you hear from his teachers than he's not listening, acting out of turn, or even hitting other kids? While acting out and testing limits are normal at this age (and are the very reason the socialization of preschool is so beneficial), Circle of Moms members are wondering whether they should be doing anything about it after school. Should parents address and correct bad behavior that happened at school, and if so, how?

Here, experienced moms — several of whom are also experienced preschool teachers — offer answers.

Advice From Moms

Does "After the Fact" Discipline Work?

Rachel C.'s five-year-old daughter was having trouble at preschool with tantrums, jealousy, and misbehaving. Her teachers noticed and informed Rachel, who was baffled: "Her behavior at home hasn't changed at all (still listens [and says] please and thank you)."

Rachel tried discipline at home to attempt to correct the behavior at school, but nothing seemed to work. Unsurprised, a member named Kim S. points out that after-the-fact punishments don't get through to preschoolers because the real opportunity to learn from the mistake occurred earlier in the day, when the misbehavior actually happened. She feels that the teachers at the preschool can best address these problems, because they're present when they happen.

That said, some moms report success with after-the-fact positive reinforcement to reward good behavior that happened earlier, at school. Lisa J. suggests a reward chart, and rewarding a child for a pattern of good behavior with a trip to the pet store or play time with his friend: "Whatever peaks his interest." She also suggests explaining your expectations and the chart beforehand: "The better his behavior, the more fun stuff he'll get to do."

Ashley B. suggests another approach for reinforcing positive behavior at preschool: "[Try] putting up a game or something, and tell him if he's really good after school he can play with it."

Dealing With the School and the Teacher

In addition to working with your child, several moms suggest talking to your preschooler's teacher about behavior issues. Suzanne H. found she was able to solve the problem with her son when she got involved by checking in with his teacher on a daily basis. She urges moms to approach the school, explaining that "If they know you're a concerned parent, they'll help you work on what needs to be done."

Rebecca also feels that when preschoolers have problems at school, moms should concentrate their efforts on collaborating with the teacher. Getting on the same page will help you all get to the root of why your child is acting out.

Several moms add that it's important to trust your instincts and realize that sometimes the school really is the problem. A member who goes by "Mapplelean Calico" says she knew that her four-year-old son needed to be removed from the school he was in after a teacher "man-handled him" and she realized that he had learned how to hit, punch, bite, and kick from other students.

(For advice on choosing a new preschool, see Choosing a Preschool: 10 Important Factors to Consider.)

Advice From Teachers

Communication, Consistency

Professionals in the field of early education certainly have some ideas on this subject as well. The one piece of advice that both moms and teachers seem to mention again and again is the need for open communication, as often as possible, between the teacher and parents. Kathie F., who is both a mom and a Pre-K teacher, has learned that consistency between home and school is essential:

"It's important that the parent and teacher have a close relationship. They need to work together on all behavior problems. If the teacher is strict, and the parent is weak then the circle has been broken."

Kara K., a member who teaches kindergarten, also preaches the need for consistency. She feels that a child should be given a clear picture of what is expected of her at home and at school. For the most part, the expectations should be the same, and the consequences (including punishment) should be the same:

"Set up a routine and have clear rules and consequences for unwanted behavior. In my class, the families who are consistent are seeing much [more] improvement in their child's behavior. Find some creative outlets for his energy can be helpful too!" she adds.

Medical Evaluation

Several preschool teachers in the Circle of Moms communities also recommend a visit to your child's pediatrician or specialist to rule out any medical reason for a sudden change in behavior.

Erin R., an early childhood educator whose own son had a lot of problems in preschool and elementary school, eventually learned that he has ADHD when a formal diagnosis was finally made at six years. If your doctor suspects this or another behavioral disorder, you might be able to try working on solutions even before a formal diagnosis, says Delora I.:

"Research behavior modifications used for children with ADHD. Find something that you can try and stick with it. Get everyone involved in your child's life on board, and if you truly think it is ADHD, then talk with his pediatrician and get rolling on doing the observation forms."

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Like Circle of Moms member Tara K., I dread seeing fundraising envelopes come home from school. Tara says she’s bothered by the competitive nature of these types of fundraisers and I couldn’t agree more. Not only are my children being told they should go door-to-door selling things, they are also sitting in assemblies being shown what kind of perks they get if the sell enough knickknacks and tchokes. When did fundraising become a “what’s in it for me” endeavor?

I’m tired of the overpriced catalogs of items nobody really needs and I hate that I’m the one who ends up trying to sell the stuff. So much so, in fact, that I refuse to do them anymore.

It’s bad enough that these fundraising "packets" come with stipulations of what percentage of the sales actually goes to the school, but there are also warnings and – even worse – incentives.

It used to be that fundraising was an attempt to raise funds for a specific cause, one in which kids were invested, but lately it seems as though my kids don’t even know where the money goes. Apparently, they’re not the only ones.

One Circle of Moms member named Holly says the parents in her school district pay for kids to go on field trips, for after school events, and even school supplies. "Where does the fundraiser money go?" she asks. She adds that like me, she will no longer be participating in fundraisers until she can get an answer to this question.

Fundraising Should Be a Cooperative Experience

What happened to car washes, cake walks, collecting pennies or spaghetti suppers prepared and served by our children? Those are the kind of fundraisers I would get behind. As Tara says, "They also teach teamwork, cooperation and accountability in a way that doesn't line the pockets of some overpriced importer and doesn't pit one kid against another."

Not only do these types of events make fundraisers fun, they give kids a chance to be real participants by brainstorming ways to make money and they build a sense of community. After all, if we’re trying to raise money for a community of people, shouldn’t we all feel like we’re part of that community?

Fundraisers Worth Supporting

There are some great fundraising ideas that I would support and though I’m a little afraid if I enumerate them may get roped into running the next one at my child’s school, I’m willing to take the risk!

• Talent Shows: Charge parents admission to see what they love – their children and their children’s friends taking pride in what they do well. 

• Basket Auctions: Let each classroom pick a theme for their basket and write letters to parents and local businesses asking for theme-related donations. Once the baskets are filled, they can be auctioned off to parents, either as part of a bigger auction or as a stand-alone. 

• Community Dinner or Breakfast: A number of Circle of Moms members say they’d love to see more spaghetti suppers or pancake breakfasts as fundraisers. Who doesn’t like pancakes?

• Schoolyard Sale: Think yard sale, but in the school yard. It gives your children an opportunity to really think about what they’re willing to sacrifice to raise a little money and it’s a great way to swap toys, clothes and books out for new (to you) ones. 

• Recipe Books: As mom Jodi explains, "Parents contribute their favorite recipes, it gets collated and published, and then sold." My daughter’s school did this one year. Ten years later, I still have the book and make recipes from it almost weekly.

Okay, so maybe I wouldn’t refuse to do all fundraisers, just the ones where the parents have to do all the work for an unspecified cause so kids can earn dinky prizes. Anything else, I’m willing to consider.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Kids grow up so fast!

My two-and-a-half year-old son, Elias, recently started pre-school. If you are at all like me, when your child starts school you don’t want to forget what stage of life they are in. Because I want to remember this special day, I thought it would be fun to start a new yearly tradition in our family. And maybe you will too!

One way that we documented and remember the first day of school is by making a first day of school sign and taking a picture. We wrote these things on our sign:

1) First day of school

2) Elias' grade

3) The date

4) And what he wants to be when he grows up.

My goal is to take this same type of picture every year! It will be such a fun way to see how he changes and grows.

Image Source: Courtesy of Ashley Baker

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Is a Reggio Emilia education right for your preschooler?

The Reggio Emilia philosophy of early childhood education originated in 1945 in a town called Reggio Emilia, Italy, where Loris Malaguzzi, a local teacher, developed an approach to early childhood education that values children, parents and the community as partners. Because of those values, moms often lump Reggio Emilia preschools with other schools that offer alternative curriculums like Montessori and Waldorf. (“I am looking for a dynamic Reggio Emilia or Montessori-based curriculum school for my 15-month-old son,” says a Circle of Moms member named Marquetta.)

While it’s true that these schools share some of the same beliefs, Circle of Moms members who are advocates of a Reggio Emilia education say there are distinct differences. Here are three tips to help you determine whether a Reggio Emilia preschool is the best choice for your child.

1. You Want Your Child To Feel Empowered

Charlie P., a Circle of Moms member who taught at a Reggio Emilio school, notes that the principles of a Reggio Emilio-based school include:

• Children must have some control over the direction of their learning;
• Children have a relationship with other children and with material items in the world that children must be allowed to explore; and
• Children must have endless ways and opportunities to express themselves.

The philosophy, Charlie says, is becoming more and more popular "as people recognize a lot of children learn a lot better when they have some kind of control over their learning.”

Circle of Moms member Aleks B. agrees, describing her kids' Reggio Emilio preschool as a place that allows “children to lead their own learning through their own interests."

Because of this emphasis on child-centered learning, Reggio Emilio teachers will not require children to sit down and learn using one, standardized method. Instead, teachers recognize that if you listen to your students, there can be many different ways of learning, explains another Circle of Moms member who is a fan.

2. You See the Classroom as a Learning Community

Most Reggio Emilio classrooms include an “atelier,” or studio, filled with materials such as clay, paint and writing implements, where “young children are offered daily opportunities to encounter many types of materials, many expressive languages, many points of view, working actively with hands, minds and emotions, in a context that values the expressiveness and creativity of each child in the group,” according to Reggio Children/Loris Malaguzzi International Centre

Art, music and dramatic play, for instance, become the “vessel for children to develop relationships with the things and people around them,” says mom Chantel B.

As children explore such materials and bring their own pre-formed ideas and backgrounds to the classroom, children work as a community with each other, and build on their learning, Kate B. explains.

3. You Want to Be Active in Your Child’s Education

A third facet of a Reggio Emilio education is that “parents are viewed as partners, collaborators, and advocates for their children. Teachers respect parents as each child’s first teacher, and involve parents in every aspect of the curriculum,” Charlie says.

The Reggio Emilio approach is based on the idea that when there is a “network of communication that exists between the children, parents and teachers, the result will be a spirit of co-operation, collaboration, and co-construction of knowledge,” according to Reggio Kids.

Charlie adds that it's not uncommon to see parents volunteering in classrooms throughout a Reggio Emilio school, and also incorporating principles of the school program into their home lives. For a member named Claudine who chose a Reggio Emilio preschool, this exchange feels natural and easy because Reggio Emilio's emphasis on community and child-centered, hands-on learning echoes the way she parents.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Providing children with a solid education is among parents’ top priorities. So it’s hardly surprising that so many moms and dads are choosing to take charge of their children's education by homeschooling them (the number of kids homeschooled rose 74% between 1999 and 2007, according to the U.S. Department of Education). But should parents, instead, let their children take the reins?

That’s the question on the mind of a Circle of Moms member who goes by the screen name "Mother Bacher" as she considers the unschooling phenomenon. “I am so interested in unschooling," she says. "I would love to keep our basics but throw everything else away. I would love to let our schooling go where [my daughter's] interests lie. I've seen so many success stories. Because they started specializing so early they were leaps and bounds ahead of their class."

But what exactly is unschooling? And is it a viable alternative to preschool for your child? Here are three factors that fans of unschooling often mention as key to their decison.

1. You Want to Homeschool But You're Not a Teacher

Celebrated classroom teacher and a founder of the modern homeschooling movement John Holt coined the term unschooling in 1977, to describe “learning that does not look like school learning, and learning that does not have to take place at home.”

Since then, unschooling has become known as self-directed learning, or a type of homeschooling that doesn’t use a fixed curriculum. The advantage of this method, supporters believe, is that it doesn't require the parent to act like a professional teacher. Rather, the parent provides guidance only and promotes a natural love of self-learning and living together.

“The big difference between formal education and unschooling is that formal education tends to be result driven, whereas unschooling focuses on the process of learning,” says a Circle of Moms member named Charlie P. “It may seem like doing nothing but there (is meant to be a) method to it. … It is essentially child-led learning.” For example, when Charlie's sons cook, they cover math, measurement and sensory development; when they read they learn literacy; and when they do puzzles, they enhance their cognitive development.

Another member who unschools, Kelly, facilitates her first-grade-aged son's interest in architecture. She takes him on “field trips” to famous buildings, reads about different architects' buildings and contributions, and visits history museums to look at cultural architecture.

As another example of how children can self-direct what they learn, a young child’s interest in cars could lead to a study of how the engine works (science), how and when the car was built (history and business), who built and designed the car (biography), etc. “Certainly these interests can lead to reading texts, taking courses, or doing projects, but the important difference is that these activities were chosen and engaged in freely by the learner. They were not dictated to the learner through curricular mandate to be done at a specific time and place, though parents with a more hands-on approach to unschooling certainly can influence and guide their children's choices,” explains “Growing Without Schooling, the magazine John Holt founded.

As an unschooling mom, member Tracey R. agree that she is “more of a facilitator than a teacher.” Nevertheless, Tracey emphasizes that she still parents her children, which means she disciplines and enforces house rules to ensure her children do their chores and don’t watch too much TV.

2. Your Child Needs to Go at His Own Pace

Because unschooling doesn’t follow a specific curriculum, parents who unschool will have difficulty measuring their children against students of the same ages. But many say that their unschooled children progress faster. Tracey R. says her unschooled children, who are 15, 12, and 7, all read on a junior high school level by age 8, and on a high school level by 10. “My son actually tested beyond high school in reading at 10 1/2. My youngest just turned 7 and reads on a 4th grade level,” she says. On the other hand, Tara K. admits that one of her children didn’t begin to read until age 9.

“That would have been unacceptable in a public school system, and she would have been given all sorts of remedial help to ‘force’ her into it. But she picked it up at her own pace [through unschooling] and quickly, when she was ready,” Minnie says.

Indeed, Tara agrees (and says unschoolers believe) “there is a right time to ‘teach’ things and unfortunately in school, that time is different for lots of kids. So those who might be better suited to reading at seven years old spend their first two or three years in school going against their natural learning style, [and] they struggle and feel as if they are failing because they ‘should’ be able to read at the end of grade one. So just by putting that time frame on one's ability to conquer a skill implies they are failing if they aren't able/willing to do it within that time frame. I have yet to meet an unschooled teen or young adult who is not completely proficient at reading, writing, spelling, articulation etc.,” she says.

Nevertheless, not having gone through traditional schooling should not prevent children from learning what they need to support themselves as adults, or attending college if they want to, moms members say. Tara says in most of Canada, many universities have entrance exams specific to unschoolers.

Additionally, “an unschooler may use SAT/ACT scores to attend universities or may enroll in community college before transferring credits to another college. There are also many ways to succeed without the use of institutional higher learning — apprenticeship programs, online accelerated courses or on-the-job training. Unschoolers are used to thinking outside the box (or have not become accustomed to thinking inside one) and have therefore achieved their goals numerous ways with or without the use of degrees,” Charlie says.

3. Your Child Is Self-Motivated

Moms should be aware that unschooling will not work if your child thrives on regimen. “Instead of making a schedule and lesson plans and telling your kids ‘you must do this at this time,’ and let’s say you even grade or ‘do review’ or test, etc., an unschooler would go about learning the same material in a more organic and authentic way. Your little one doesn’t want to play with phonics and reading until close to bedtime and only picks it up once this week? No problem. It’s about trust,” a member named Rebekah explains.

“Some kids thrive in a less structured environment, some need the structure. It's a call you have to make based on your own child's needs, in my opinion, and with each individual child if you have more than one,” Mom LaCi says. “I think kids that are self motivated and academically driven could thrive moving at their own pace and doing what interests them, but kids tend to not be academically driven or motivated and usually need the structure to keep them on track.”

Charlie agrees. “While I know this type of schooling is suitable for some children, it really isn’t for all children. . . .The ones who would appeal more to this type of learning would be the creative types, although an analytical mind would also do very well. . . I actually think there comes a point in time where you need to asses your children and discover what type of thinkers they are, whether they are methodical, analytical, creative, intuitive or sensing thinkers. Each has a direction of education that is more suited to them.” For instance, a naturally creative mind in a formal setting might feel stifled, he says.

A naturally sensing thinker, on the other hand, might prefer to learn through organized and structured environment because this type of person tends to thrive on meeting the task and the final achievement. Kelly says her children did better learning through unschooling than they did in public school because they grew to love learning. “Many public schools teach to the test, and my kids did fall into that routine in school, but they knew the difference between studying for the test, and studying because you are interested and want to learn more.”

Heather L. laughs that while unschooling would have worked for her because she wanted to learn about sentence structure and fractions, if her parents had tried to unschool her little brother, “he'd be an illiterate expert of WWF movies.”

Meghan, too, worries that because “everything about traditional school is thrown out,” and children learn from everyday experiences, there is no safety net in place to make sure that the “necessities” are learned.

Nevertheless, Charlie says that while “unschooling does not use guidelines or agenda in regard to ‘what a child should learn,’ because of their love for learning and with appropriate parental guidance, unschooled children will learn what they need to. Unschooling “puts the child in the driver’s seat of their own life, and with love and encouragement, allows them to see what they need and don’t need. It accepts that each person’s life requires different skills."

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

“I’m beginning to hear about all these parent-participation schools...Is anyone else out there thinking about sending [their child] to one of these schools?” Circle of Moms member Jennifer M. inquires.

Is a cooperative preschool right for your child? Co-op, or parent participation, preschools often are praised for providing moms (and dads) the opportunity to be directly involved in the classroom with their child’s early education in exchange for a lower tuition.

The foundation for co-op preschools was laid in 1916, by a group of faculty wives at the University of Chicago who were looking for a way to provide social education for their children and parent education for themselves. Nowadays, the model has evolved: parents assist the professional teachers in the classroom on a rotating basis, participate in the educational program for all the children, and share in the administration and maintenance of the school.

Here, Circle of Moms members who've already joined a co-op preschool share three reasons why a parent-participation preschool might be the best choice for you and your child.

1. You Want More Bonding Time with Your Preschool-Aged Child

Several Circle of Moms members suggest co-op preschools as a great way to introduce your child to school  without as much separation anxiety, since you’ll be in the classroom at least some of the time.

For example, Andrea C. started her 2 ½-year-old in a co-op nursery school because although she is a stay-at-home mom and wants to maximize the time she has to bond with her child, she also wanted her daughter to learn socialization skills and get used to what a ‘big school” is like. The co-op lets her do both.

Similarly, Dawn M. enrolled her 2-year-old daughter in a co-op preschool in Maryland because they offer half-days as well as options to attend just two or three days per week, instead of five. Plus, she is still able to spend time with her daughter. “Its kind of the best of both worlds ... the little ones get some school experience and yet they're still spending time with you,” she says.

2. You Have Time to Give, But Not Deep Pockets

Typically, tuition at a co-op preschool is significantly less than the amount charged by other preschools. The trade-off is that parents must regularly “volunteer” their time helping the students and school.

The price at Los Altos Parents Preschool, for example, “is a rock-bottom bargain because the parents volunteer/work,” a Circle of Moms member named Baidra says.

Parent participation requirements vary by school, so moms should inquire what time commitment to expect. Paige B. donates just a few hours per month to provide snacks or chaperone field trips at her daughter’s preschool.

On the other hand, as Circle of Moms member Maureen B. shares, weekly parent participation is required at the co-op in her neighborhood. Thus, full-time stay-at-home-moms who are busy taking care of a baby at home and don’t have any other help likely won’t have time to regularly volunteer at a preschool co-op like Maureen’s.

3. You Want to Actively Shape Your Child’s Education

Being involved in your child’s school has benefits. By actively participating in a preschool co-op, moms can supervise their child, assist with activities, and observe the teacher.

“[A co-op] gives parents the opportunity to participate in their child’s first school experiences,” relays Rebecca A.

Furthermore, as involved parents, co-op moms can shape their child’s education. For example, a Circle of Moms contributor who goes by "Very Bloggy Beth," recently described on The RoundUp how she and other parents at her son’s co-op developed a new sharing policy: rather than forcing kids to share everything, they allow kids to keep a toy as long as they want to. The parents all feel that this a better reflection of how adults behave.

Ultimately, if you believe that a preschooler’s education should be driven by parents, children and teachers, then a co-op preschool might be the best venue for you. “Interacting with a community of other parents who share your commitment to childhood and receiving modeling by the teacher as you help gives you opportunities to learn alongside your child.”

As Parent Cooperative Preschools International says,“[With each family shar[ing] in the business operation of the school … parents, preschool children and their teachers all go to school together and learn together.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Making the decision to put your child in daycare is never easy, but knowing what to look for in a daycare can make a tough situation a little bit easier. Here’s a checklist of factors that Circle of Moms members recommend considering, and why.

1. Were you asked to make an appointment to tour the facility or did you feel encouraged to drop by any time?

Though an appointment might mean they wanted to have extra staff on hand for your tour, you want your child at a facility with an open-door policy. As mom Hanna P. mentions, dropping in at time when it’s usually just kids and staff there can help you “catch” if something out of the ordinary is going on.

2. Did someone check your ID when you came into the building? 

One of the questions on mom Sharon L.’s list is “Do you check ID of the person picking up my child if they are not on my approval list?” If you, an unknown person (potential client or not) were not asked to provide ID, it’s a sign that they may not be strict about asking for identification when someone else picks up your child.

3. Is the daycare’s license posted somewhere visible? 

Circle of Moms member Sam C. advises to “make sure that [daycare centers] have all the necessary licensing and accreditation requirements.” You can double check the requirements on your state’s Health and Human Services website. If the center doesn’t have their license available to be examined, don’t hesitate to ask.

4. What policies are in place regarding immunizations, sick children and accident/incident reports?

Member Chelsea R. mentioned her concern that her choice not to vaccinate her child might limit her choices in daycare providers. It’s a valid concern — most daycare centers require proof of immunization before enrollment in order to be compliant with licensing. Asking gives parents on both sides of the vaccination debate a better idea of the policy. While you’re at it, find out the daycare's policy on bringing in sick kids, and what happens in case of an accident or a child-to-child skirmish.

5. What are the staff’s credentials? 

Mom Kate C. suggests you ask “What are the teachers qualifications and how often do the head teachers change? “A high turnover rate can be detrimental to your child’s sense of security, so it's important to know if there's frequent change. In terms of qualifications, ask if staff is First Aid and CPR certified, confirm that employees undergo background checks and that there is at least one teacher per age group with a degree in Early Childhood Education or a comparable program.

6. How does staff interact with the kids?

Observe the staff to see if they talk to the children, listen to them and lead age-appropriate activities. You don’t want to see, as mom Lisa C. puts it, “staff just talking amongst themselves.” Like mom Robin M., you do want to make sure your provider gives your child one-on-one attention and affection.

7. What’s the adult to child ratio?

Several moms mention that a low staff to child ratio is important. The younger the children, the more staff there should be.

8. Is the physical environment safe?

If you have a mischievous child like member Hope L., whose son kept getting out of the classroom at his daycare, this is especially important. For starters, look around for gates, smoke alarms, outlet covers, cupboard locks and corner covers.

9. How clean is the place?

Mom Jenny B. summed this up in three words, “Clean, clean, clean!” Ask how often toys and surfaces are cleaned and with what solution. A diluted bleach solution or a green, non-toxic alternative are both good.

10. What are the hours?

You could find the best daycare in the world, but if they don’t work within the hours you need, you’re out of luck. Ask how flexible the hours are, whether they take part-time enrollment and what the holiday/vacation schedule looks like.

Above all, don't underestimate your intuition. If something seems “off” pay attention to that feeling. Your child needs to be happy, but you do, too.

Image Source: Dick Brown via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Preschool starts in the fall and you’re wondering if your child is ready. There’s a lot of talk about kindergarten readiness, but parents want to know about preschool readiness skills, too.

While kindergarten readiness includes academic skills, preschool readiness is more dependent on life skills. It’s true, as Circle of Moms member and teacher Brandy C. points out, that “every preschool has different expectations,” but there is some common ground.

One way to determine this is to ask yourself if your child has all the PIECES in place for preschool, where "pieces" is an acronym that stands for potty training, independence, expressiveness, concentration, endurance, and separation.

“P” is for Potty Training

While some daycare-preschool combination programs are a little more lax about toilet training than others, most preschool programs will expect your child to be out of diapers and be able to wipe and wash with minimal assistance. That doesn't mean preschools won't tolerate the occasional accident or accommodate children with special needs, but the expectation is, as Jama, a preschool teacher's aide who's on Circle of Moms puts it, “Our children just need to be potty trained.”

“I” is for Independence

Your 3- or 4-year-old won’t (and shouldn’t ) be completely independent, but she should be able to do some things without help, including being able to handle snack time. “I am amazed at the number of children [who] come through our doors [who] do not know how to sit down at a table and properly feed themselves,” says Rosalee V., a PreK teacher.

That's not all. Your preschooler should also be able to entertain themselves for at least a twenty minute stretch of time and be able to tackle projects independently. That doesn't mean you should give your child glue and scissors and leave them to their own devices, just that it's time to encourage them to do some of the gluing and designing on their own.

“E” is for Expressiveness

Expressiveness refers to how well your child makes herself understood and how well she understands others. Your child should be able to talk in fairly intelligible 3 to 5 word sentences to be understood.

Understanding other people is less about listening and more about getting that other people have needs and feelings, too. It’s developmentally appropriate for your child to be just developing these skills. Preschool teacher Rebbecca J. describes these budding social-emotional skills in depth:

“These include sharing, being friendly, a general understanding of fairness and justice, empathy, responsibility to others, and the overall ability to be a good friend.”

“C” is for Concentration

Concentration really is a combination of readiness skills. It's about your child's ability to pay attention during a group activity, listen to directions and to focus on what’s going around them. That sounds like a lot to expect from a preschooler, but they don’t have to be able to do it all at once. “Being able to sit for a story is helpful, ”says Brandy.

“E” is for Endurance

It may sound more like you’re preparing your child for a race, but endurance is an important part of being ready for preschool. If your child isn’t used to the routine of a full (or half) day of having her brain engaged, or if she still takes a morning nap, preschool is going to be tough. There are definite benefits to getting them into a routine, though. As Circle of Moms member Elaine C. explains, “Structure helps kids to feel safe, confident and in control.”

“S” is for Separation

Many preschool aged children are wary of being away from their caregiver, but the question to consider is whether or not your child has had periods of separation from you. If she hasn't spent time without you, whether it's with a babysitter, at a playgroup, or with relatives, she may not understand the drop-off/pick-up component of preschool.

Young children don't automatically understand how that works, which is why Circle of Moms member (and preschool teacher), Abie S. says it's so important to “come up with a plan together about dropping off and picking up so she knows you are coming back.”

Putting the Pieces Together

Once you’re sure your child has all the PIECES in place, the hardest part of sending her to preschool may be your own emotions! Take heart in Abie’s observation that she has never “had a child [who] cried more than five minutes after mom left.”

Image Source: Elise Ramsey via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.