motherhood

Lots of moms like to think out loud, and CherylDee is one of them. Here is one of the latest posts to her Lipsticks to Baby Bottles blog.

Compared to Westerners and Europeans, Asians tend to be more closed-minded. Even speaking about sex is such a taboo. Seeing young parents, especially mothers here, are somewhat frowned upon. Whereas I find it tends to be slightly more accepted in places out of Asia.

I wouldn't say I had a very traditional Asian upbringing. I mean I'm sure most of you have heard stories about how in Asian homes, children stay in their family home till they marry. As for me, I moved out of mine at 18. Anyways, what all this brings me to is that, I've been able to make my own decisions and live by them. Some were not so good decisions but as the saying goes, "If I could make my own bed, I jolly well better be able to lie in it".

Now that I am a mother, the decisions I make don't only matter to me but to this little girl, whom I owe my all to give her all the world has to offer.  What really annoys me about living here in Singapore, is that people can be so bleedy vocal about their opinions! And I am not only talking about people whom I know personally! I've had the displeasure of meeting such people either in the streets, or in another 'hot-spot', the trains!

I don't need some random stranger to tell me how, I as a parent, should raise my child! People look at me and know that I am a young mother. But that does not give you any right to assume that I am not a good parent!

I remember having some lady tell me that I should not breastfeed my child because god knows what I eat and that may not be good for my daughter. How formula milk is so much better. Hello, what century are you in? It is encouraged around the globe that breastfeeding is highly recommended!

Keep reading to see more of CherylDee's thoughts on young mothers.

If there's one thing that working moms and stay-at-home mothers have in common, it's that ubiquitous feeling of guilt. For working mamas it's often the guilt of missing a school function or having to take a business trip, while stay-at-home moms frequently say they often feel guilty for not putting their education and previous career experience to work.

While we may beat ourselves up for not being the first one in the pick-up line or not reading that extra chapter at bedtime, there's one category we all tend to feel the most guilty about: the cleanliness of our homes!

According to a new survey by the Working Mother Research Institute and Ernst & Young, the number one thing working moms feel the most judged about is how they keep their homes, while it was the second most frequently cited response by stay-at-home moms (the first being their contribution to the family's finances). Sixty-eight percent of LilSugar readers told us that the one professional they wish they could hire for themselves is a housekeeper, and now we can see why!

Is your home's cleanliness something that you feel judged about as a mother?

A recent study concluded that a mom's relationship with her mother-in-law is the most stressful part of parenthood — but your own mother can cause stress in your life as well.

The relationship between mother and daughter can be quite complicated. Some women have great relationships with their own mothers, while others try to avoid having a relationship altogether. One disagreement with mom can send even the most seemingly put-together parent back to those teenage years, when she cried in her room blaring loud music and dreaming of the day when she would be the mom — she would do things differently.

On last night's episode of Up All Night, Christina Applegate's Regan did just that. She tried to avoid a visit with her parents due to her stressed relationship with her mom, played by Blythe Danner. In hopes of having a great relationship with her own daughter in the future, Regan decided to lead by example and tried to connect with her self-absorbed mom. In the end, it all worked out — but not before Regan had a good cry in her room.

So tell us, how well do you get along with your mama?

We're excited to share this post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we will be bringing you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts over on BabyCenter, including this post from Samantha Schoech about how moms' duties and missions have changed over the years.

I just read this parenting article in which the author asks parents about their "parenting mission statement." I have never thought of such a thing and personally, it sounds a little reductive and business like for me. After all, parenting is a fluid, messy, learn-as-you-go kind of thing. It is not a Power Point presentation.

Statements like this give me the willies, for example.

Without a mission statement, people are likely to zig and zag all over the playing field, wasting lots of energy and time on things that are ultimately unimportant if not counterproductive. That, I sense, is what a lot of parents are doing these days. You want an example? How about spending a disproportionate amount of family time taking children to and watching them in activities that will be completely irrelevant to anything they will be doing as adults?

I agree that many children are way over scheduled, but what about what your child enjoys doing at age six? Just because they aren't going to grow up to be Meryl Steep doesn't mean they shouldn't take drama if they enjoy it. This approach to parenting seems to strip it of all its intangible, emotional aspects.

Related: Nobody kisses my baby but me!

But the author makes some very interesting points about how the parenting mission has changed over generations. Mainly, that in the good old days parents focused on their responsibility to society and the larger community while today's parents focus only on their own children and their happiness.

And, regardless of your approach to the whole enterprise, it is an interesting exercise. I mean, there is some value in figuring out where you want to end up, even if the route there is not perfectly clear. And even if you don't want to run your child like you'd run a business.

My parenting mission statement would be something like this: I want to raise people who are funny, kind and curious.

Or maybe this: I want to raise people who are resilient and thoughtful.

This is fun! What's your parenting mission statement?

More great stories from BabyCenter.com:
Nursery Trends 2012
Ask yourself this question
Dreamfeed your baby. Save your sanity.
Too much together time?

When Soleil Moon Frye learned she was pregnant with her first child, she thought she'd be the picture-perfect hippie mom she'd always envisioned. Then Poet, now 6, was diagnosed with a severe case of reflux, and the former Punky Brewster actress learned that parenting is a bit more fly by night than most parenting books would have you believe.

When I spoke with actress, social media maven, and mommy ambassador for Target earlier this year, she gave us a sneak peek of her modern mommy manual, Happy Chaos ($14). While the can't-put-down book is filled with anecdotes about her life on set, her many Hollywood crushes (that children of the '80s will love), and the lessons she learned in six years of motherhood, I spoke with her again about her chaotic life as a mom of two — Poet, 6, and Jagger, 3 — and learning the ropes of parenthood. Like sitting down and dishing with your best friend, Soleil wasn't afraid to talk about the dirty details of life.

On why she wrote the book: "The majority of the parenting books that I read before I became a parent were so much about 'this kind of parent, this is how to do this, this is how to do that.' There was nothing that told me about what was going to happen in the hospital, or that I was going to get that ice pack afterward. Nobody told me about the mesh panties. Nobody told me you could have an accident on the table. So I was like how do we not share this with the sisterhood?"

On her husband, Jason Goldberg's, parenting style: "We are total opposites. He's much more conservative; I'm a free-spirit hippie. But then my daughter, Poet, had really bad reflux, so I'd be up all night, walking her every night. So all of the free-spirit things went out the window, and it made me much more fearful than I thought I would be."

On baby weight: "I'm totally that mom who’s like, 'Oh, I just had a baby — and she's 3 years old!" I use baby for an excuse for everything. My girlfriend's like, "Honey, your baby was born two-and-a-half years ago. I think you need to come up with a new excuse!'"

Keep reading for Soleil Moon Frey's thoughts on adding a second child to the family and her biggest parenting challenge.

Sleep that is. But like sex, when you’re not getting enough, it’s all you can think about, because, duh, sleep is important! There's a reason forcing people to stay awake is classified as a torture technique. We know newborns wake constantly, needing to be fed and changed. We're prepared for a few months of pure exhaustion. But when those months turn into years, life can get pretty difficult.

I'm closing in on 18 months with a child who just will not "Go the F**k to Sleep," and his sleep habits, or rather lack of, absolutely dictate my life. I've read all the heavy hitters (Ferber, Sears, Weissbluth) thoroughly confusing myself in the process. I've tried some version of every reputable sleep-training method out there, and if one more well-intentioned person asks if we have a consistent bedtime routine, surely I will snap.

I'm quickly coming to the end of my rope, and seriously considering turning to a professional sleep trainer. Spending upwards of $500 for a stranger to teach my baby to sleep sounded absurd to my confident, well-rested, prebaby self. It's amazing what 18 months without a solid REM cycle will do for your perspective. Five hundred dollars for some decent sleep sounds like an absolute bargain to this addled mom.

Did you use a sleep trainer? Was it worth it?

Check back in two weeks for the next installment of The (No) Sleep Diaries.

Babies have no shame. They burp and fart with abandon. They eat when they're hungry and stop when they're full. Basically, they do whatever they need to do to make them feel good in that moment, with no regard for social niceties. And for some babies, copping a feel is standard practice.

A few days ago my 18-month-old looked at a picture of his Dada and proudly identified him: Dada! A picture of me garnered the same level excitement; however, my lil one's sweet baby brain identified me as boobie. Not at all surprising as my son has had his hand down my shirt since he figured out what was down there. It made sense for him to be grabbing mama’s breasts while he was still breastfeeding, but we’re done with that, and he’s still obsessed with boobies. He is not picky — any pair will do.

Read more about my lil boob grabber.