Even if you're starting to go stir-crazy being at home 24/7, returning to work after maternity leave can be an extremely emotional and difficult transition. To help you navigate some of the challenges, we've rounded up the best advice from working moms on how to make your transition as smooth as possible.
Every parent could use some time away from the kids to relax and recharge. But is it a good idea to take an overnight or longer trip without your children?
Circle of Moms member Miccayla G., for instance, is wondering if it's too soon to leave her 20 month old with grandparents. Her fiancé's family is willing to babysit for four weeks before her wedding. "We would love some alone time since we're not getting a honeymoon and we have gone on two dates in three years, but we're scared our baby will forget us, or it will be too hard on him to be away from us and his big brother (who will be spending the four weeks with his biological dad)," she says.
Meanwhile, Jen C. was invited to go to Amsterdam with friends, but says she's the type of mom who spends every second with her children, and is torn about whether she should vacation out of the country without her 6- and 8-and-a-half-year-old children. "Is it OK? Is it fair? Do I deserve it, or am I being selfish?" she asks the Circle of Moms community. "It's been so long since I've cut loose, let alone had such a great offer."
If you, too, are wondering whether it's OK to vacation without your children, and at what age to do so, Circle of Moms members offer the following tips.
Wondering when it's safe and appropriate to leave your child at home while you're at work or running errands? While some states and countries have legal guidelines on leaving minors unaccompanied, Circle of Moms members argue that parents should also consider other factors before deciding when to leave their children home alone. Keep reading for their six key tips.
I was 12 years old when I was given the biggest assignment in my life: take care of my sister at school. My older sister has a learning disability, so back in the ’80s when there were fewer resources for children with special needs, my parents held my sister back one grade so we could attend public middle school at the same time. Simultaneously, they assigned me to be her protector.
It didn’t seem like that big of a deal at the time. Mostly I was charged with making sure that she got to her homeroom on time, that she was doing OK socially, that other kids weren’t teasing her during lunch or recess, and that we got off of the city bus at the correct stop together on our way home. I also don’t question my parents’ thought process in assigning me such an immense responsibility. If you, as a parent, had to be away from your child for eight hours each day, wouldn't you want someone you trust to help look out for her?
In hindsight, however, I suspect that being asked to concern myself with my sister’s whereabouts for several hours each week has made me the worrier that I am today. This leads me to wonder: Is it fair for a parent to ask their teen or tween to take care of a younger sibling? Circle of Moms member Sal G. has similar concerns, questioning how much parents should rely on older kids to help out, while admitting that she asks her teenage son to do things for her two preschoolers. She asks more bluntly, "should older siblings be unpaid childcare?" Keep reading for five points to consider.
Every parent deserves the occasional night out on the town, but sometimes the preparation involved turns the evening into more work than it's worth. Securing a sitter, factoring in the additional cost, prepping the sitter . . . once you're a mama, there's definitely more to a night out than picking out a great outfit and calling a cab. Allow us to make at least one of those steps a bit easier. Since you're likely to be rushing out the door when your sitter arrives, we've compiled an all-encompassing checklist of what she needs to know before you head out of the house.
Want kid-free time for a hobby or a date but don't know how to get it? Whether you're married, single, close to family or far away, these 15 "mommy time out" tips shared by our Facebook moms are the secret to adult time . . . and sanity.
When your child's in preschool — and still building an immune system — it might seem like he’s susceptible to an endless stream of colds. Germs are just a part of preschool and daycare that all moms have to deal with, says Circle of Moms member Sarah. But how sick should your child be before you decide to keep him home from school?
That’s the question moms Bethany G. and Esther D. are wrestling with. "I really struggle with when to keep my kids home from school activities when they ‘may be’ sick. How do you decide?" Bethany wonders. Esther's questions are more pointed. She wonders what other parents do when little ones have mild symptoms, like a runny nose, and whether it's okay to send them to school even though they can spread germs.
Many members say symptoms like fever, vomiting or diarrhea make the decision to keep your child home from preschool clear-cut, and the United States Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) backs them up, advising parents to keep kids with flu-like symptoms home for "at least 24 hours after they no longer have a fever, or signs of a fever, without the use of fever-reducing medicines," and "even if they are using antiviral medicines."
But when symptoms are less prominent parents are left to their own guidance. So what should a mildly sick child to to school and when should he be kept at home? I've rounded up some of the most common viewpoints below.
1. "It's Wrong to Send a Mildly Sick Kid to School"
Many moms who believe that sick kids should not be at school at all resent the parents who have sent them. For instance, Jodi Z., who used to run an in-home daycare, she says she has seen many seemingly innocent runny noses quickly turn into something more serious like strep throat, croup, whooping cough, or the flu. "Sometimes, a clear runny nose is just the first sign of something big, even without other symptoms," she says. "Why put other children at risk and risk your child getting worse? ... .[It's] frustrating to take my daughter somewhere, in good health, and see children with snotty noses and coughing (not covering their mouths). If I want to purposefully expose my child to an illness, I'll do it in the controlled setting in my doctor's office," she adds.
A mom named Gemma agrees, saying that keeping her son home when he is sick is the right thing to do by other families. "But unfortunately, there are some parents who don’t do the same. It makes me angry," she adds. When parents send their children to school with colds, it seems like they don’t have any consideration for the other kids and their families who could catch the colds, Gemma explains. Her family recently has had bronchitis, gastrointestinal sickness and conjunctivitis, thanks to her son, who picked up the germs and brought them home from daycare.
"It's infuriating when parents send their children to school sick and they know full well. Poor little children just want to be home getting some TLC anyways," says a member named Charlie, who is a teacher. She recalls when a parent sent her non-immunized child, who had contracted rubella, to school while she was pregnant. "My unborn baby could have been blinded, severely brain damaged or dead!"
2. "If Symptoms are Minor it's Okay"
While moms like Jodi resent the frequency with which their children catch colds from their preschool classmates, other parents, including a member named Mylene, say they understand that not every parent can make the choice to stay home each time the kids have a runny nose. Moreover, she believes children should be exposed to some germs to build their immune systems.
"It’s quite impossible to shelter our children from all illnesses," she says. "If we had to keep children quarantine for every little illness they ever get, neither of us would have a job and we would be living on the street. Not everyone has family around to take care of the children."
In recognition of this reality, Mylene tries to be careful about the decision to send a mildly sick child to school: "Whenever I have any doubt that it's not just a cold, he stays home," she says.
Jessica B. actually welcomes children with minor colds at her son’s preschool. "I would like my son’s immune system to be very [developed to protect] against these illnesses when he is older," she explains.
Not Every Sniffle is Contagious
Other moms point out that not every sniffle or runny nose is a sign of a cold. For instance, Becky F. says her entire family gets stuffy noses all winter because of the dry weather. "A runny nose and a bit of a cough, fine. Some kids have those all winter, but really aren't sick. The poor parents would get fired if they had to stay home for that," she says.
Mom Nicky has similar sentiments, explaining that her daughter has really bad allergies and asthma. "If she stayed home every time she had sniffles or a cough, she would never go to school."
Holly’s daughter has asthma and severe seasonal allergies, so she follows a regimen that causes her to have a productive cough during the day. "I get so many dirty looks from other parents, but I always send an email to the teacher, and I keep her home if she has a fever, if she has an [abnormally] runny nose, or if the coughing is disturbing her sleep (because that signals the cough is being caused by something more than allergies)," she explains.
As a result, Holly understands to a point when parents bring their kids to preschool with a cough or something mild, but thinks that when a child is obviously sick, they should be kept at home.
3. "Each School Needs to Find a Happy Medium"
Ultimately, moms on both sides of the debate agree that the severity of your preschooler’s sickness is the most important decision factor, and that all parents should keep kids with symptoms like fever, vomiting, and rough breathing at home.
"[A] runny or stuffy nose, or mild cough [are sometimes] the effects of a cold that can last for weeks; I don't think it's necessary to keep them home," says one member. "However, I do think that it's essential that if you're going to send them to school, that you teach them to wash their hands, cover their mouths, use Kleenex and not their clothing, avoid direct contact with another child if you just sneezed or coughed until you can go wash your hands, etc." she says.
In reality, most moms do want to stay home and take care of a child who is really ill. A mom named Anika, who is also a daycare worker, points out that moms generally recognize that preschools and daycares are busy, noisy places, and that if their children are sick, they’ll likely get better faster by staying at home.
When parents are having a tough time making the judgment call as to whether to keep a sick child home from school, then Krista E. suggests referring to the preschool provider’s sick policy. "My daycare provider and the other moms all have a tacit agreement that a common cold is fine. I don't get upset if some other kid is at the daycare with a runny nose — it happens. And I know that a lot of the other mothers there don't get any sick days, so I'm not going to demand that some poor woman put her job in jeopardy. Now if it's something more serious, we keep them home, also by tacit agreement," she says.
In other words, Krista believes that preschools should talk to parents and set a policy with regard to sick kids that is as agreeable to as many of the parents as possible. "If one or two parents don't like the policy, they will either have to deal with it, or look elsewhere."
Image Source: SCA Svenska Cellulosa Aktiebolaget via Flickr/Creative Commons
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.
I consider myself a fairly smart and informed parent. I keep up with my daughter’s pediatric visits, keep up by subscribing to e-newsletters such as WebMD and BabyCenter, and exchange developmental notes with other parents quite frequently. In addition, I thought the fact that I moonlight as a pharmacist on my days off from being full time mommy was an advantage of sorts. But even with my medical background, I was dumbfounded by three “toddler lessons” I encountered recently.
1. Holding Poop for a Really, Really Long Time
I did not discover how strong my two-year-old's will, determination, and sphincter muscles were until we started potty training. All of a sudden, my daughter went from going “poopy” three times a day to holding her bowel movements for seven days in a row. Yes, you read correctly! Apparently, all you have to do is encourage a toddler to poop in the toilet and she can go from a regular pooping princess to irregular royalty. At this point, going number two in the potty involves lots of water and prune juice, a bribe of goldfish here and there, an insanely quiet bathroom, and lots of prayers.
2. Hand, Food and Mouth Disease
Other than the “poop showdown,” we have a healthy and happy little person. She is up-to-date on her vaccinations and never misses a doctor’s appointment. What she did not have (back in June anyway), was the most tolerant immune system. You see, up until this past summer my daughter did not attend any child care centers or programs. She is our only child and I was her primary care taker. Well, imagine my surprise when my daughter woke up one day with a fever and a sore throat and developed red pustule-like bumps on her hands, face and limbs. We took her to the doctor and it was discovered that she had Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. Huh?!? I had never even heard about this virus until a few days before her episode.
Apparently, the virus was making its rounds at her new school. Much to our dismay, all we could do is offer supportive care (ibuprofen for fever/pain, keeping her hydrated, ice pops for her sore throat, and keeping her comfortable.) No amount of antibiotics would help, as this is a virus. So if your toddler ends up with Hand, Foot and Mouth disease, you just have to “ride it out,” so to speak.
3. Toxic Synovitis
Maybe a week after the virus scare, things seemed to be back to normal. The fever was gone and my daughter’s sores were pretty healed. But one morning, as we called her for her regular morning cereal, she refused to go to the table to eat. She actually demanded to be picked up rather than walk to her chair to savor her favorite time of the day: Meal Time!
My husband and I gave in initially and carried the princess wherever she needed to go. But, once I had enough, I beckoned her to partake in some of her favorite activities with me: go to the park, play catch, all of which she either refused or tried to part-take in while on her knees. This paralyzed me with fear and I rushed her to the ER. The diagnosis was toxic synovitis. Apparently, toxic synovitis is a temporary condition affecting children that causes inflammation of the joints. Symptoms include: hip, thigh and leg pain, which can cause the child to limp due to the amount of pain experienced. Younger kids may refuse to walk altogether, often resorting to crawling or walking on their knees.
After a week of me carrying an extra thirty pound weight around and having her take some time off from school to rest her limbs she was back to herself. Our princess was rested, walking and “ready to go!"
Actually, we are still working on “ready to go” part. She now goes poopy every two days. Sweet victory!
Image Source: Karelnoppe via Fotolia
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.
"Why do some people let their kids run wild in restaurants, or scream at [their] kids in public?" wonders Hope B., aloud. I've heard this commentary before... only not from someone like Hope. She's not mouthing off about the wild ways of children without having raised any kids herself. She's a mom, and as it turns out, she's far from the only one with pet peeves about the shortcomings of other parents.
While new parents typically learn to give others in the same boat the benefit of the doubt, the daily stresses we all face in raising kids make the occasional letting-off-of-steam inevitable. Here, Hope and other Circle of Moms members do just that, enumerating the parenting lapses that most raise their hackles. Still, I can't help but point out that many of us are — at least occasionally — guilty as charged.
1. Parents Who Expect Kids to Stay Clean
"I can't stand parents who look down on you for not keeping your kid immaculately clean all the time," says Sarah M. "They get bathed once a day so they are clean. Sorry, I want my kids to love life and live it, not have to run around with a pack of baby wipes," she asserts.
2. Parents Who Let Their Kids Loose in Restaurants
Topping many a mom's list of annoyances are parents who let their kids run around undisciplined in restaurants or stores. Hope is annoyed in particular by parents who allow their children to crawl all over the floor in these public places, "like wild animals." In her family, "You don't move from the table unless you ask to be excused."
3. Parents Who Put Kids in Safety Harnesses
For Sarah M. and Paula T., what really gets their goat is parents who put their children on leashes. "Kids' leashes are horrible," declares Sarah, and Paula asks, "What, are they dogs? If you can't watch your children better then that you have a problem."
(For additional perspectives on leashes for kids, see 10 Things I Never Thought I'd Do...Then I Became a Mom and Kids on a Leash: They Don't Bark But They Do Run.)
4. Parents Who Disregard Safety
Some moms get really irritated when they see other parents blatantly disregarding their child's safety. Trish D. cites parents who "don't strap their children into their car seats, let them sit loose in the car with the windows open and the child hanging out the window," explaining that her own girls know that, "if the car is moving and they undo their belt, the car will stop till it's back on."
Jane H. also cringes at the sight of supervised kids. "I see kids playing on the road. It's a quiet road but nonetheless, it's a road. . . .These kids could easily get knocked down by a car, or taken by someone and their moms wouldn't know where they are until it is too late."
5. Parents Who Let Their Kids Overeat
Witnessing other parents letting their kids stuff their faces with junk food, is a mega pet peeve for moms like Lindsey S. "I can't stand parents who let their kids eat what ever they want in any amounts. They end up being like two years old and 100 lbs. They give them anything they want, like if they want chips and ice cream for breakfast they'll give it to them."
6. Parents Who Take Their Kids for Granted
Joy B. and Kinsey H. get peeved at parents who drop their kids off at daycare on their days off. As Joy explains, "I know mothers who have their kids in daycare fifty hours a week and they only work 20-40 hours a week. It just seems unfair to the child and I don't understand how the moms don't realize that they are seriously missing out."
Kinsey, a working mom herself, offers a more personal take on this peeve: "I hate that I have to have my son in daycare so much, I would much rather spend time with him and take him to the park, etc. I wish other moms would see how precious this time is when they are young and not take it for granted. It really ticks me off."
7. Parents Who Publicly Hit or Berate Their Kids
Morag S. and Rachel D. cringe at public displays of discipline that take a menacing turn, whether physical or verbal. Morag describes a public incident in which "a mom viciously grabbed her kids' arms, told them off and then smacked them in public."
Rachel's "all time favorite peeve" is hearing parents say, "'Shut up or I'll give you something to cry about'" to their children. "These parents need to be given something to cry about," she castigates.
Angie B. hates hearing other parents yell at their children in public. "Sometimes, I want to go get the child and give them a hug," she confides.
8. Parents Who Don't Insist on Manners
Parents who make no effort to teach their kids how to say please and thank you are a pet peeve of many moms. "My pet peeve lately is with kids not saying thank you when given a gift," says Kelly R. "I [am] really having an issue with nieces and nephews not saying "thank you" for gifts they receive for birthdays or Christmas. . . . what's up with the parents not holding them responsible?"
What's your biggest parenting pet peeve?
Image Source: Harvest Breeding via Flickr/Creative Commons
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.
Making the decision to put your child in daycare is never easy, but knowing what to look for in a daycare can make a tough situation a little bit easier. Here’s a checklist of factors that Circle of Moms members recommend considering, and why.
1. Were you asked to make an appointment to tour the facility or did you feel encouraged to drop by any time?
Though an appointment might mean they wanted to have extra staff on hand for your tour, you want your child at a facility with an open-door policy. As mom Hanna P. mentions, dropping in at time when it’s usually just kids and staff there can help you “catch” if something out of the ordinary is going on.
2. Did someone check your ID when you came into the building?
One of the questions on mom Sharon L.’s list is “Do you check ID of the person picking up my child if they are not on my approval list?” If you, an unknown person (potential client or not) were not asked to provide ID, it’s a sign that they may not be strict about asking for identification when someone else picks up your child.
3. Is the daycare’s license posted somewhere visible?
Circle of Moms member Sam C. advises to “make sure that [daycare centers] have all the necessary licensing and accreditation requirements.” You can double check the requirements on your state’s Health and Human Services website. If the center doesn’t have their license available to be examined, don’t hesitate to ask.
4. What policies are in place regarding immunizations, sick children and accident/incident reports?
Member Chelsea R. mentioned her concern that her choice not to vaccinate her child might limit her choices in daycare providers. It’s a valid concern — most daycare centers require proof of immunization before enrollment in order to be compliant with licensing. Asking gives parents on both sides of the vaccination debate a better idea of the policy. While you’re at it, find out the daycare's policy on bringing in sick kids, and what happens in case of an accident or a child-to-child skirmish.
5. What are the staff’s credentials?
Mom Kate C. suggests you ask “What are the teachers qualifications and how often do the head teachers change? “A high turnover rate can be detrimental to your child’s sense of security, so it's important to know if there's frequent change. In terms of qualifications, ask if staff is First Aid and CPR certified, confirm that employees undergo background checks and that there is at least one teacher per age group with a degree in Early Childhood Education or a comparable program.
6. How does staff interact with the kids?
Observe the staff to see if they talk to the children, listen to them and lead age-appropriate activities. You don’t want to see, as mom Lisa C. puts it, “staff just talking amongst themselves.” Like mom Robin M., you do want to make sure your provider gives your child one-on-one attention and affection.
7. What’s the adult to child ratio?
Several moms mention that a low staff to child ratio is important. The younger the children, the more staff there should be.
8. Is the physical environment safe?
If you have a mischievous child like member Hope L., whose son kept getting out of the classroom at his daycare, this is especially important. For starters, look around for gates, smoke alarms, outlet covers, cupboard locks and corner covers.
9. How clean is the place?
Mom Jenny B. summed this up in three words, “Clean, clean, clean!” Ask how often toys and surfaces are cleaned and with what solution. A diluted bleach solution or a green, non-toxic alternative are both good.
10. What are the hours?
You could find the best daycare in the world, but if they don’t work within the hours you need, you’re out of luck. Ask how flexible the hours are, whether they take part-time enrollment and what the holiday/vacation schedule looks like.
Above all, don't underestimate your intuition. If something seems “off” pay attention to that feeling. Your child needs to be happy, but you do, too.
Image Source: Dick Brown via Flickr/Creative Commons
The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.
