Is it OK to leave your preschooler in a car unattended? While you might think the answer should be a resounding, “no,” many Circle of Moms members say the answer is not so cut and dry. Most moms “know” it’s wrong — and in some states even illegal — to leave children in a car unattended, Yet many moms are sympathetic to Treffly Coyne’s story. This mom found herself on trial for charges of child endangerment because she left her toddler alone in the car for a few minutes, less than 10 yards away, as her other child donated money to a Salvation Army collection bucket.

“There are few words for what a bad decision I think the police and the justice system made on this one, to traumatize a mother, her children and the whole family over something like that,” says Circle of Moms member Johnny. “I do not think it is a good idea to leave one's child in the car for more than a few minutes or to have the car out of your sight. But this case is nothing like when people leave kids in a car to go shopping or play in the casino or something.”

Other moms, however, point out the unexpected risks of leaving a preschooler in an unattended car for even a minute, such as choking, becoming unbuckled and hurting himself in the car, being car jacked or kidnapped, or being hit by another car from behind. Many say they would rather play it safe  than face consequences for breaking the law or be forced to live with guilt for the rest of their lives should something unforeseen happen to their child.

“I don't leave my kids in the car for any reason, ever, period,” says Shana R. “Yes, heat stroke is a legitimate concern, but I'm more concerned about car jackings and abductions. I have three kids, ages 3, 5 and 8. I'm a mom to always err on the side of caution, no matter how inconvenient it may be.” 

A Law Worth Occasionally Breaking?

Others, including a mom named Anna B., believe that Shana’s rule doesn’t take into account individual circumstances that might make breaking the law acceptable. Moms members with multiples, in particular, admit that sometimes it’s easier to leave a child (or two) unattended in a car, as long as he is in view, to accomplish small tasks like paying for gas, or picking up another sibling from a school’s front steps.

“It is a rare occasion that I do not leave at least one of my children in the van ... if not all three,” says mom Jodi, who has a nearly three-year-old and twin one-year-olds. She, too, will leave her children unattended when she needs to retrieve and return a grocery cart. And, it is impossible to carry all children into her house at the same time if they fall asleep in the car. So she takes one child into the house at a time while she is parked in her garage with the door closed and her keys in her pocket. “I am not waking up my kids when all three are sound asleep,” she says. “Unless I hire someone to be here with me anytime I might have to leave just to help me with kids in and out of vehicles, someone gets left behind for a minute or less.” 

Kerry E. says leaving a preschooler in the car alone might be okay, depending on the child’s age. And Nikki S. feels that when you’re from a small town or safe neighborhood, the risks of leaving your child unattended can be lower. Mom Sharame L. agrees, pointing out that leaving a child in the car unattended for a minute might even be the safest option, such as when it’s sleeting or freezing. 

Anna B. notes taking her three children, ages 3 months, 22 months and 3 ½ years, with her through a parking lot is more dangerous than leaving them alone in the car. “The parking lot is hands-down the most dangerous place I take them,” she explains, noting she sometimes leaves them in the car unattended while she returns a shopping cart. “It's easy to say that it's always best to take your kids with you. It looks good on paper. It is not always safer,” she says. “Sometimes I think people lay hard, fast rules about things like this because they don't understand the concept of judgment.” 

Even MeMe, who is “very firm” on “always taking her young children with her because you never know what could happen in just a minute or two, acknowledges that moms have to evaluate and mitigate each situation’s individual risks. “Just because one person would not do it the same as another does not mean they are saying the other's way is wrong … We all love our kids and do our best,” she says.

I personally believe you should not leave your preschooler unattended in the car because you never know what could happen. But, I once left my son unattended in the car after he unexpectedly fell asleep on the way to a play date. The weather was cool, I kept the windows down, he was in sight in the driveway as I sat on the front porch, and I put a baby monitor in the vehicle for added safety. My overstepping the law allowed him to have fun with his friend once he woke up half an hour later. So as a practical matter, it's all about common sense and situational safety.

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

When I was in kindergarten, we watched a filmstrip (yes, this dates me) about "stranger danger." It starred a horse who kept saying, "Neigh, neigh, from strangers stay away." Because it was a horse talking and all, I didn't think much about it in my daily life when I encountered a stranger. What I took seriously was my parents' rule: I was to look out the peephole before answering the door, and not to open it for anyone I didn't know.

Following this rule involved dragging the step stool over, but I did it without fail. So consistently thorough was I that I didn't even open the door for my dad when he had a kidney stone attack in the yard and came crawling to the door. He was on his knees, so I couldn't see him. And mind you, this was before cell phones.

Not Talking to Strangers Is Unrealistic

Now I have a three-year-old son, Olin, who races down the sidewalk on his balance bike and cuts into the schoolyard way ahead of me, disappearing into the maze of young bodies, their parents watching from scattered sideline vantage points. It's fenced in, so I can track Olin easily — once I find him. On any given day, we know some of the regulars here, but the rest of the people hanging out I've never seen before. I like to give Olin some space here, and I feel safe doing so. Once he fell down, and a nice woman who was closer to him at the moment helped him up. Another time, he started to slip from some monkey bars, and someone's father caught him mid-air. I was grateful for these strangers and their small gestures of friendliness and help. 

Olin doesn't tend to talk to strangers of his own accord, but he does like to stare at people, especially older kids doing dangerous skateboard tricks or playing a pick-up game of basketball. And he's very social, so I think a conversation about strangers will be important to have, and soon. As Mary Beth Sammons points out in a RoundUp article (How to Talk to Your Kids About Stranger Safety), it's not practical to expect your kids to never speak to strangers, but we can teach them how to do so.

In our household, language is the key to the kingdom. Expressing yourself well can get you TV time, another 15 minutes on the playground, or a change in the CD we're listening to — not as a reward for anything other than communicating effectively.

There's not always a one-to-one correspondence between what Olin says and what happens, but he has learned that verbal communication is much more effective than crying, throwing things, or yelling. I think this model can be applied to the issue of stranger safety. I'd like to teach my son to talk to someone he doesn't know with that same sort of budding sophistication. It starts at a young age!

My Stranger Safety Rules

So, what are the ground rules? Here are mine, simple enough that they need no explanation, even for my preschooler:

• I need to know where you are at all times. If you're with a babysitter, the babysitter does, too. 
• If someone you don't know talks to you, ask him which kid he's with. 
• Tell him that your mom (or babysitter) is _______ (right over there). 
• Do not leave or get into a car with anyone you don't know.
• If a stranger starts asking you lots of questions, ask me (or your babysitter) to come over.
• If anyone touches you, or tries to get you to go somewhere, yell for help!

What stranger safety rules have you shared with your kids?

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Imagine that your child finally begins preschool, only to be bullied whenever he plays outside in the schoolyard. It sounded unbelievable to Circle of Moms member Hanan Y. Yet like other moms whose kids have been through the preschool years, she now knows first-hand that toddler torment does occur.

“I can’t believe that bullying can start as early as junior kindergarten! Are you kidding me?” says Hanan, aghast. Another child has made a sport out of knocking her son to the ground, taking off and throwing his hat, and even holding him against a wall so he can’t move.

At such a young age, the idea of someone hurting your child physically or emotionally can be enough to make you consider homeschooling. But before you pull your child out of preschool, consider these three suggestions for halting the harassment.

1. Teach Your Child to Speak Up

During the preschool years, kids often don't know how to get the help they need. Either they're shy, or don't yet have the language skills to tell you or the teacher exactly what happened. As Circle of Moms member Ghita M. explains of her little boy, he "does not always speak up for himself, so I have to constantly tell him to talk to me or his teachers about anything that troubles him, ever." Parents need to actively encourage their children to speak up — and make it their business to find out exactly whats occurring at school.

“Talk to your [child] with calmness and tell her that telling her problems to you is a good thing to do,” advises Darlene M. “Openness is very important.” And Julie E. reminds us that, “It has taken great courage for your child to tell you what they are going through. You know your child better than anyone. It is important that a child is believed until proven otherwise. Tell your child that you are proud that they have had the courage to deal with this matter and trusted you to help them.”

2. Talk to the Teacher 

Preschool-aged children are rarely equipped to handle bullies on their own. That’s another reason it’s important for parents to step in. As Hanan shares, her first step was to speak with her son's teachers and ask them to speak to the bully’s parents. When that failed to stop the bullying, she scheduled an appointment with the principal.

When another boy was bothering Ghita's son, she asked him who it was and shared that information with the teacher. The teacher then talked to the boy's parents. “I would never leave it up to a young child to take care of such serious matters as bullying without stepping in.”

3. Help Your Child Build Friendships

When it comes to bullies, it never hurts to have a BFF as an ally. As the adage goes, there’s safety in numbers. Bullies are less likely to pick on a child who is playing with others.

Talk to your [child] about the other kids in the class, recommends Holly B. “Who is she friends with? … Who does she like to sit with at lunch? Also when do the threats occur? Help your daughter reach out to some of the other kids in her class." She recommends setting up play dates outside of school to "develop relationships and bonding."

When Suzanne V.’s son encountered a bully at daycare, she took an empathetic approach. As she shares, “I explained to him that bullies are sometimes acting out that way because they want and need attention but don't know how to interact with other kids to get it in a nicer way. . . I asked him if he would be willing to try to make a friend out of the bully and he said he would try. . . .My son began actively seeking out the bully's involvement in his activities with his friends. Low and behold, he wound up with a raving fan. . . . I think this approach is definitely worth a try, especially for younger children.”

Remember that bullying takes many forms, as Monica Z. notes. When your child is bullied, he or she can become fearful of school and unable learn to his or her full potential. “Please listen to your children and help them, no matter what it takes.”

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Circle of Moms member Cynthia is worried that her 10-year-old is going to start 'sexting.' Her daughter is entering the tween years, and she's already "flirting a little too much with her boyfriend over her cell phone." Will her daughter will be tempted or pressured into sharing inappropriate images and messages digitally? "There are a lot of stories online [about] kids sending naked pictures ... and even being charged with child pornography! I'm not sure if she has done this, but I am worried she might," says Cynthia.

Phone messaging is now so commonplace among middle-schoolers that Cynthia is one of many Circle of Moms members who are talking about what parents can do to keep it from from becoming a doorway to inappropriate, hurtful, or harmful sexual banter. Here, they share ideas for preventing kids from sexting.

1. Set and Communicate Limits for Phone Usage

Simply handing over a cell phone to a tween without setting rules and explaining the consequences for inappropriate behavior can set parents up for surprising outcomes. Megan J. made sure to talk to her daughter about both the risks of sexting and getting "hot and heavy" with a boy too quickly.  Karen L. suggests spelling out the consequences for doing something that crosses the lines, like "sending or forwarding a naked picture."

Other Circle of Moms members suggest deciding ahead of time who your child can and can't talk to or text on the phone. Tamara W. limits her children to calling and texting only "me, my husband, my parents and the house, maybe their oldest brother since he may need to get them from school if something happens."

2. Talk About Sex and Dating

In addition to talking to your child about what happens in the digital world today and what is appropriate or inappropriate, moms also need to have candid conversations about sex and dating during the tween years. As Circle of Moms member Teresa points out, when a tween abuses his or her cell phone privilege, there are often underlying issues that parents need to address: "the cell phone is 'only the 'messenger' so to speak."

She talks to her own twin daughters "about how it's fine to have friendships with boys, but they need to keep their main focus on their school and gymnastics until they've at least graduated from high school." She has also tried to emphasize to them that when they're ready to date, "they need to be looking for a guy [who] respects them and their interests and goals."

3. Monitor Your Tween's Texts

"Check the phone, privacy be damned," says Melissa M.  She's one of several moms who assert, unapologetically, that privacy is a secondary consideration when you child's "safety [is] at stake."

To those who still hesitate, Shelly H. says, "People, it is no longer 1990 and they are no longer having conversations on the kitchen phone. Prime example is we had a friend walk past his daughter's phone and on a whim took a look at her texts. Let's just say the girl had been doing things that would make porn stars blush and no stone had been left unturned. She had been doing these things while at a friend's house. Welcome to 2011. Better to invade a child's privacy some than to sit by being a passive parent and have them hurt."

Shelly H. says many parents rely on Internet monitoring systems to track their children's cell phone usage. "A lot of our friends use them to keep tabs on their kids. You pay a fee and it will send you every text your kids send and receive."

Alternatively, Karen L. adds, as long as your child is on your cell phone plan, "you can get a copy of the texting record." She suggests monitoring their usage by checking that record periodically, and taking action "if you find something inappropriate."

4. Take the Phone Away If Needed

If setting limits, talking about underlying issues, and monitoring their usage don't work and you find your child texting too much or inappropriately, it's time to take the phone away. As Ivette shares, ""This morning I found text messages in my 10-year-old daughter's phone involving her and a male classmate in her class. It said things like, I love you so much, hottie, babe, sweet cheeks, and kiss[es]. I confronted her about it and all she can say was 'sorry.' I didn't have time to discuss the issues at hand because I had to get her to school, but I confiscated her phone and told her I wasn't done with her."

5. Omit Texting from Your Child's Phone Plan

One way to sidestep the problem of sexting completely is simply to not include texting in your tween's cell phone plan. "I'm a mom of 5, ages 7-17, and I really don't think 10-year-olds are mature enough for cell phones," says Teresa D. "They text things and respond to things that they don't really understand or are ready for. Get your daughter a cell that doesn't have text and very few minutes to be used for emergency or to contact you only. Try to explain to her that she [could] get herself in a situation she's not ready for."

6. Forget the cell phone all together

Several Circle of Moms members question the wisdom of giving your tween a cell phone to begin with. "I'm sorry to say, but I think 10 years old is too young for cell phones, period," says Kelli, adding that kids' access to and abuse of cell phones can make them grow up too fast. (Related Reading: Why I Postponed Buying My Daughter A Cell Phone)

How do you keep your tween from sexting?

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The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

What's the quickest way to find a missing child in a crowded place? While American answers may range from contacting authorities to launching a search or issuing Amber Alerts, in Argentina they start with something a bit simpler. A colleague told me about her traveling friend's post on Facebook. It said:

"Yesterday, whilst sitting in the middle of an extremely crowded beach near Mar del Plata, Argentina, a slow, small chorus of claps started up and proceeded to grow in number as more people joined in. I was perplexed, and even more so when my companions also joined the chorus without hesitation. I asked my friend what was happening, and she explained that in Argentina, when someone encounters a lost child in a crowded area and can't find the parent they start to clap. Then those around join in and so on, thus alerting the parent(s) as to the child's whereabouts. She said the same thing had happened for her on more than one occasion when she was a child, as she had a tendency to wander. It was an example of community working together that I had not previously encountered, and I was impressed. Once the parent(s) and child are reunited, there is a big cheer and more applause. So [the] only weakness I see is that I am not sure what happens if a second child gets lost at precisely that moment . . . "

Have you heard of things similar to this?

My heart leaps into my throat just thinking about the anguish moms experience when their worst nightmare — their child going missing — becomes a reality. While television, radio, and freeway messages are helpful in spreading the word about abductions, little compares to the mass reach of a story going viral. Today, Facebook launches its partnership with the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children to increase awareness of kids that go missing.
One report said:

Facebook users will now be able to follow Amber Alert pages for their states, and news of missing children nearby will then show up in their news feed. Organizers hope the partnership will harness Facebook's more than 500 million users to help locate some of the 800,000 children reported missing each year.

Will you use your social networking time to lend a link?