bedtime story

A friend of mine called me the other evening desperate for some bedtime routine ideas. Her two-and-a-half year old son had suddenly turned his back on their nightly bath, book and bed ritual. The usually great sleeper had taken to screaming bloody murder for up to an hour and half while working himself up to a sweat. He was demanding to get up, refusing to lie down and couldn't even be calmed enough to discuss why he wouldn't go to sleep.

When she finally could calm him down, he insisted on her lying on the floor and singing the "Wheels on the Bus" until he fell asleep — usually another 30 minutes or so. Needless to say, she was exhausted and her son was falling asleep on his way to school each morning. After telling her about some of our nightly rituals, I got to wondering about other options. What is your bedtime routine?

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Drop Dead Fred, a wickedly immature comedy about maintaining imaginary friends into adulthood and blaming "them" for one's obscene behavior, was one of my fave movies in the early '90s — naturally. The irreverent tyke in the following scene portrays the protagonist as a young girl. Her response to her mother's lame-ass bedtime story is quite possibly the best advice any growing girl (or grown woman) could ever hear. Listen. Very. Carefully.

Back in 1983, my mother and step-father took a Southwest Airlines flight from Dallas to Houston. As they boarded, my mom noticed an expectant woman who looked like she was ready to pop. She somehow boarded the plane while in labor and it took off.During the ascent, the woman announced that the baby was on its way. My mother, a pediatric nurse, jumped up to help her. She brought the mom-to-be to the front of the plane (where one boards — the widest available space) and had her lay down. My mom told the flight attendant to ask the pilot to return to Dallas and have an emergency medical team available.

One of the attendants told her that the flight wouldn't be too long, just about 45 minutes. So my mom replied that she could see the baby's head crowning and they needed to land ASAP. While the plane backtracked, the laboring woman and my mother shared some intense moments. To see what happened, read more

All this recall madness is maddening, but it's especially crazy when lil kids start discussing it. I suppose it's inevitable since protective parents around the globe are raiding their children's toy boxes to rid them of harmful toys.

From toxic paint to GHB, my 3-year-old daughter's heard me chatting and gasping about them all. Then, last week after coming home from a friend's house she said, "They had some recalled toys, but don't worry I just played with them. I didn't lick them!"

My little girl loves bath time, especially all the brightly colored squirt animals that come with it. She splashes, giggles, squirts, and plays the entire time.

We always do a count down before she gets out, "1, 2, 3! Bath time's over!" and scoop her out of the tub. But, last night she decided to give us a little extra show. Just as my husband finished the countdown, she stood up and peed.

As a parent you try not to encourage naughty behavior, but sometimes you're just dumbfounded, and all you can do is laugh. So we did. It took us a minute to realize she was probably cold and not so clean (anymore).
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