Spanking

Another day, another study about the long-term effects of spanking on lil ones' overall behavior, but this one may put an end to the debate once and for all. Earlier this year, researchers found that children between the ages of two and six grew up to be happier and more successful than those who had never been hit. But today's study, which followed 2,500 tots, found that using corporal punishment on toddlers can lead to aggression in preschoolers.

Unlike previous studies, Tulane researchers took other factors, such as stress, substance abuse, and physical abuse of the parents into account this time and still found a link between spanking and aggression. In their report, researchers noted that 3 year olds who were spanked three times or more the previous month were 50 percent more likely to be disobedient – or bullies – at 5 years old.

Seventy-five of LilSugar readers said they spank their kids. Does this new study change your opinion on the matter?

Spanking is a controversial subject. There are those who proudly admit to the old school swat, and there are those who denounce the practice and are quick to point out other ways to discipline children without the physical force. Like a ping-pong ball, the studies keep switching sides claiming one minute it's beneficial for youngsters to be exposed to tough love via swatting and the next minute, a new study says children who have been spanked are better off for it... if it's within a certain time frame. Currently the ball is on the side of the pro-spanking court. A new study says that wee ones who were spanked between ages two and six actually benefited from corporal punishment. The Daily Mail reports:

Young children who are smacked by their parents grow up to be happier and more successful than those who have never been hit, research claims. It found that children who are smacked before the age of six perform better at school when they are teenagers. They are also more likely to do voluntary work and to want to go to university than those who have never been physically disciplined.

While that all sounds dandy for those who rule with a firm hand, the study also says that children who are hit after the age of six were more likely to have behavioral problems. Are you surprised by the latest claims?

Disciplining a child is one of the toughest parts of parenting. Spanking, time-outs, and positive reinforcement all have their supporters and detractors, but do they all send subliminal messages to our lil ones about our love for them?

Recently, two of TV's popular authorities on the issue — Dr. Phil and Supernanny's Jo Frost — made strong arguments for positive reinforcement. They both agree that children seek praise and attention from their parents and by denying them those feelings until they act appropriately, they will learn right from wrong. Opposite their philosophies, author Alfie Kohn supports a program of unconditional love and suggests that regardless of the type of discipline used, punishing youngsters shows them that they aren't loved by their parents. Rather than taking away privileges and toys, instituting time-outs, or spanking, parents should take the time to work through the issue with their offspring, demonstrating that they love their wee ones regardless of how they behave.

What's your opinion?

Spanking is so passé... or at least that's what the experts will have you believe. Contrary to mom's lil saying, it turns out that a little paddling may hurt the kid more than it hurts the mom. A Duke study claims hitting a child will do more harm than good and applauds new philosophies of parenting where the focus is on positive reinforcement and offering options. While that all sounds warm and fuzzy, I was adamant that I would use spanking as a method of punishment in our home... before I became a mother.

The hand was no stranger to my bum though it was only used on rare occasions. When it came time for me to teach my daughter right from wrong, I popped her tush a couple of times and found it completely ineffective. She actually enjoyed the quick tap and giggled her way to more mischief. Eager to try a new plan, I gave her a time out in a not so fun part of the house — the dark guest room. In 60 seconds, I discovered that the new system was more compelling than making physical contact. At this point, I'll admit I am a reformed punisher but one should never say never. What works for my lass may not work for my son and I may be back to square one in the spanking debate.

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A child of the 70s, I clearly recall some of my elementary school teachers using physical means to get some students to behave. Things are much different in the 21st century, or at least one might think. Though only legal in some parts of 21 states, Principal David Nixon of Calhoun Hills, South Carolina, has taken to using his paddle to discipline his pupils. Oddly enough, it was one of the parents who tipped him off to the idea. His first day on the job, a father told him, "I want to give you the authority to whip my son's butt." As the new boss at a severely struggling public school, the 31-year-old head honcho literally started taking matters into his own hands and began spanking mischievous pupils when he deemed necessary.

Fortunately for the youngsters, he didn't find it mandatory all that often, but many teachers and parents credit his practices for putting the school and its students on a better path. Not always the image of doom, the young authoritarian also knows how to celebrate the kids' accomplishments. He throws pizza parties for good test scores and arranges school pageants.

Consistent with the state law, Nixon gives parents the choice to allow or deny corporal punishment by school officials. Since 73 percent of lilsugar readers are admitted spankers, I'm curious to know, would you give your child's school permission to pop your child?

Flickr User crayolarabbit

Mommy Dearest,

Yesterday, my 4-year-old darted into the street after I warned her against doing so several times. No cars were coming, so she wasn't hurt, but I knew she deserved a consequence for her disobedience and put her in timeout for four minutes. When I recounted the story to my mother, she was aghast and said her granddaughter deserved a spanking so she wouldn't dare do such a dangerous thing again. I told my mom I don't agree with the punishments that she firmly believes in, like spanking and washing mouths out with soap. She took offense and told me good luck with my method and not to call her again when my daughter continues to misbehave. Do you think there are varying degrees of infractions and do some warrant more tough disciplinary action?

– Discipline Dilemma Mama

To see the response from Mommy Dearest, read more