Parenting Styles

by Rebecca M Gruber

Could the age of competitive parenting be coming to a close? In an age where parents brag about how much time their lil ones spend on their bellies and are quick to swoop up unhappy tots, an old school, hands-off parenting approach is gaining momentum and several celebrity parents are leading the charge.

According to the website for Resources for Infant Educarers, RIE, "encourages babies to become attentive, active, exploring persons who are self-rewarded in the mastery of new tasks." The philosophy encourages narration of activities (explaining diaper changes, noises, etc.), attentive listening (not automatically picking up a crying baby, but looking for clues as to what is wrong), and simple playthings (no television, mobiles, or mirrors). Gone are songs sung to calm babes, but rather an appreciation for their "struggle" is supposed to help build stronger children. A Huffington Post piece about the movement linked Tobey Maguire, Helen Hunt, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jason Alexander, and Felicity Huffman with REI practices.

by babysugar

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Lots of couples have a hard time, but putting kids into the mix can make things tough — especially if mom and dad aren't on the same parenting page. After seeing the state of her marriage become popular tabloid fare, Tori Spelling addressed the issues she and husband Dean McDermott faced over the past year on The Today Show this morning. The actress and mother to Liam, 3, and Stella, 1, advised couples to discuss their parenting styles before having kids to prevent added strife once they are born. Did you chat out child rearing tactics before marriage?

by babysugar

Another day, another study about the long-term effects of spanking on lil ones' overall behavior, but this one may put an end to the debate once and for all. Earlier this year, researchers found that children between the ages of two and six grew up to be happier and more successful than those who had never been hit. But today's study, which followed 2,500 tots, found that using corporal punishment on toddlers can lead to aggression in preschoolers.

Unlike previous studies, Tulane researchers took other factors, such as stress, substance abuse, and physical abuse of the parents into account this time and still found a link between spanking and aggression. In their report, researchers noted that 3 year olds who were spanked three times or more the previous month were 50 percent more likely to be disobedient – or bullies – at 5 years old.

Seventy-five of LilSugar readers said they spank their kids. Does this new study change your opinion on the matter?

by POPSUGAR Moms

Actress Jessica Alba was on Live With Regis and Kelly this morning showing some love for her new movie, Valentine's Day, and talking about her sweetheart, Honor. It turns out that the 19-month-old is giving her mama a run for her money. Since the toddler currently favors the word "no," Jessica has resorted to using reverse psychology to get her lil darling to do things. Do you partake in the same parenting tactic?

by Lil Community

This post was submitted by an anonymous member in our A Place to Vent group.

I can't stand my sister-in-law's parenting style. There. I said it. She's an amazing woman — smart, fun and a joy to be around — but her parenting skills are old school to say the least. She was raised in a very traditional family and hasn't updated her tactics. She spanks her kids (something my husband and I don't do), she lets her twin 6-year-old boys watch as much TV as they want, lets them eat whatever they want and defaults to the laziest route when it comes to instilling any discipline or rule for her kids. It's not that my husband and I are without struggle in the parenting department, but her "let let them do what they want so they are quiet" attitude makes it hard for me to let my children play with hers — or even consider leaving my children with her. I understand it is hard to parent twins and not everyone wants to raise their children the way I do, but there has to be a common ground. Anyone have any suggestions for broaching the subject with her without coming off as "holier than thou"?

Overwhelmed by a fussy eater, crying baby, fighting tots, overbearing in-laws and competitive parents? Start venting in our anonymous group, A Place to Vent and share your stress with fellow moms who understand your plight.

by babysugar

Spanking is a controversial subject. There are those who proudly admit to the old school swat, and there are those who denounce the practice and are quick to point out other ways to discipline children without the physical force. Like a ping-pong ball, the studies keep switching sides claiming one minute it's beneficial for youngsters to be exposed to tough love via swatting and the next minute, a new study says children who have been spanked are better off for it... if it's within a certain time frame. Currently the ball is on the side of the pro-spanking court. A new study says that wee ones who were spanked between ages two and six actually benefited from corporal punishment. The Daily Mail reports:

Young children who are smacked by their parents grow up to be happier and more successful than those who have never been hit, research claims. It found that children who are smacked before the age of six perform better at school when they are teenagers. They are also more likely to do voluntary work and to want to go to university than those who have never been physically disciplined.

While that all sounds dandy for those who rule with a firm hand, the study also says that children who are hit after the age of six were more likely to have behavioral problems. Are you surprised by the latest claims?

by babysugar

Mommy Dearest,

I am entering new territory and could use some advice. My preschool son is starting to make new friends of his own from his classroom. A few of his little buddies have asked him to come over for a playdate, which is exciting and scary at the same time. Thrilled that he is advancing socially, I am nervous to let him go over to a friend's house where I don't know the parents at all. I could care less about snacks or sugary drinks but I wonder what the mom's disciplinary style may be or how she deals with her children. Heaven forbid she's a closet drinker like that woman who drove drunk and killed all of those innocent children. I don't want to be a helicopter parent but I don't want to regret anything, either.

— Scared to Be Helicopter Mom

To see the response from Mommy Dearest, just read more

by babysugar

For some, dinner is just a meal. For others, it is a way of life and a testament to their beliefs. Carnivores may not give much thought to the burger on their plate, but vegetarians might. They often take comfort in the fact that no animals were harmed in the making of their cuisine — a mindset many would like to pass onto their offspring. Some vegetarian moms limit their children to a strict greens and fruits diet, and others allow their children to choose meals for themselves — meat included. While the choice may seem insignificant to some, others believe a parent's push to be strictly vegetarian may have negative consequences.

Instead of forcing a child into vegetarian restrictions, Jennifer Nelson, director of clinical dietetics at the Mayo Clinic, thinks children who can select their own food may experience less peer pressure than their limitless foodies in the lunch room. Furthermore, she argues it may even cause a child to feel stressed out if she is not limited to parent-approved choices when out on her lonesome. To avoid setting children up for failure, Nelson recommends this tidbit of advice:

You should offer age-appropriate explanations for why they don't eat meat . . . Then give children reassurance and strategies for making food choices when they're not with you.

So tell us, would you raise your child to have the same eating habits as you or would you allow them to test things out for themselves?

by POPSUGAR Moms

Are moms being spotlit more than before? Or are Gen X and Gen Y-ers, using their "with child status" to form Generation Mom?

Unlike most previous generations, many women spend a significant amount of time building their careers before venturing into the world of motherhood. They also to utilize their work skills in the home. Moms have written countless books about parenting styles and have invented new products designed to make their lives easier. In some circles, playdates have evolved into networking groups for like-minded ladies.

Have Gen X and Yers become Gen Mom-ers?

Don't forget to join our The Mommy Club over in our LilSugar Community to chat up the mom talk! Here's a detailed guide to posting questions or posts to groups if you are new to the PopSugar Community.