Parenting Styles

Hot parenting styles are all the rage, with parents trying their hand at everything from Tiger Mom style to the French parenting approach. For those who find themselves becoming helicopter moms and yearning to be more free-range, Resources For Infant Educarers, or RIE, offers deprogramming-like classes to teach parents how to take a more hands-off approach to parenting.

In this week's New York magazine, Dwyer Gunn writes about her experiences during one such "underparenting course." During the class, parents sit and observe as a group of toddlers play before them. When parents try to intervene or direct their children, instructors step in to guide the parents in the movement's philosophy. Gunn found the exercise to be both scary and rewarding. She notes:

• Not having to explain the concept of sharing to a toddler is a relief. "RIE calls for letting kids resolve their own disputes (barring physical violence). 'If every time adults jump in and bring in their version of what is right, the children learn either to depend on them or defy them.'"
• Immediate hugs and kisses after an injury prevents tots from experiencing pain. "RIE advises parents to give their kids a moment to recover on their own before swooping in with kisses and cuddles."
• Children don't have to be happy all the time. "The RIE approach to discipline is simple: set reasonable, consistent rules and stick to them even if they're unpopular with those expected to abide by them."
• There's a sense of accomplishment that comes with doing things themselves. "RIE teaches that giving children the chance to solve their own problems makes them feel confident and competent."

The movement — which counts celeb parents like Tobey Maguire, Helen Hunt, Jamie Lee Curtis, Jason Alexander, and Felicity Huffman as followers — most certainly isn't for the faint of heart. Do you think you could follow it?

The Aspen Ideas Festival is known for bringing together heavy hitters in fields ranging from politics to the environment to economics, with the goal of inspiring intelligent conversation. The panel discussion that intrigued us most, however, fell under the category of education and asked the lofty question, "What is the goal of parenting?"

Erika Christakis, a Harvard University administrator, was one of the panelists, and she summarized the conversation on Time.com. Among the topics that arose were:

• The merits of praising children for their efforts, as opposed to their intelligence
• The dichotomy between traits that have been proven to predict success (namely optimism, flexibility, curiosity, and the ability to assume the perspective of others), and what's evaluated and prioritized in our schools
• How to better support the developmental needs of young kids through play, free time, and independence
• The importance of relationships for children's social and cognitive growth

Like any parenting conversation, we could go on and on and on . . . but instead, we want to know your take on the big question:

What do you view as the goal of parenting? Share your comments below!

Source: Zoom Photography

Mayim Bialik is no stranger to controversy. The Big Bang Theory actress and former Blossom star is quickly becoming the poster child for attachment parenting with the release of her new memoir, Beyond the Sling: A Real-Life Guide to Raising Confident, Loving Children the Attachment Parenting Way, out today. In the book, the mom of two — to Miles, 6, and Frederick, 3 — who holds a PhD in neuroscience, recounts her beliefs in carrying her children for most of their first year (rarely putting them down), breastfeeding on demand (she's nursing her 3-and-a-half-year-old), elimination communication (no diapers after the first year), unschooling, and creating a family bed. Her lifestyle isn't for the faint of heart, and after showing it off on Nightline last night, she's coming under fire.

During her conversation with Juju Chang, she discussed the hostile way parents critique each other's parenting choices, saying, "Women have taken office politics and transported them to our homes and to our social circles. You're either right or you're wrong."

Do you agree with Mayim's assessment of why parents are so quick to criticize?

The wise Ferris Bueller once said, "Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." Families embracing the concept of slow parenting movement would certainly agree. The "slow family" style isn't a totally new concept — it has popped up as an alternative to the popular and often satirized helicopter mom archetype for the past several years. Families who embrace slow parenting feel that in general, kids these days are overscheduled, overstressed, overextended: basically overparented. Believers in the "slow" philosophy advocate fewer after-school activities, more time with the family, less TV, and more time playing outside.

The movement might have gotten off to a — slow — start, but it seems to be picking up some momentum lately, probably due to some combination of Tiger Mom backlash, a down economy, and a growing trend focused on simplicity and getting back to basics.

What do you think about the slow parenting philosophy?

Go ahead and let go! Rising up in direct opposition to the much maligned overprotective, helicopter mom, the free-range parent boldly allows — even encourages — her children to take part in what many parents would consider risky behaviors. If the following signs sound familiar, don't be surprised if other parents stop returning your calls for playdates; you're clearly a free-ranger and thus a danger to civilized society!

1. You don't care what other people think; you're OK with being called "America's Worst Mom."
2. You wear a "What Would Lenore Skenazy Do" bracelet.
3. You hear your kid take a tumble outside. Before you go running, you don't ask if he's bleeding, you ask how much he's bleeding.
4. Your standard answer to your tots' repeated requests to join every after-school activity he hears about is, "Go out and play."
5. When researching elementary schools, you look for child-directed free play in the class descriptions.
6. You believe that teaching children independence and self-reliance is as, if not more important, than a perfect SAT score.
7. You brazenly allow your responsible 12-year-old to walk the two safe blocks to the corner store during the day — without a security detail.
8. You're OK with your child learning certain things the hard way — even if it means she'll bump her head, get her heart broken, or fail a test.
9. You view a pack of roving children as a positive example of community; your neighbor calls the cops and initiates a neighborhood watch.
10. You trust your instincts about your own kid; you know when he's mature enough to spend an unsupervised hour at the playground better than some arbitrary rule.