Parenting Q&A

Organization

Parenting Q&A: Toys Have Cluttered Our House!

Q. Our house looks like Santa's workshop with stuffed animals, race cars and art supplies scattered throughout.

Q. Our house looks like Santa's workshop with stuffed animals, race cars and art supplies scattered throughout. We try to get our children to keep their items in their own rooms, but it seems like a losing battle. Should we get rid of stuff or is there a best way to organize goods to encourage tidiness?

A. Santa’s workshop has elves to maintain order, mommies typically don’t. We all have found ourselves stepping on a Barbie shoe or broken Pez head. Toys can cost so little and manage to buy us time at the check out counter or relieve guilt after a frantic day. These things become meaningless and clutter our children’s lives and our common living spaces. Here are some tips to purge and reset order in your home.
1. Spend a few days observing your child’s play patterns. Toys that are not touched and have gathered dust around them need to go on a toss or store mental list. Whatever you do, do not ask your children. They will attach to every item like a tick. When children are gone, go through and toss or store unused toys.
2. Create simple portable bins for remaining toys. Take pictures of items or label them if your child can read so they know what to put in the bins. Legos go in a designated bin as do cars, etc. Bins are stored in the children’s room and can be brought out at in an agreed upon amount. Some children want to build a dinosaur kingdom so certainly the dino and block bins can come out at the same time. Heck, some creative carefree households could allow all bins. To see the other step Lonna recommends, read more

Toddler

Parenting Q&A: Child Needs to Be Potty Trained For Preschool!

Q. My two and a half year old daughter has to be out of diapers by September when she starts preschool.

Q. My two and a half year old daughter has to be out of diapers by September when she starts preschool. So far she
has shown no interest in being potty trained. Do you have any tips on how I can get her engaged in the process?

A. How to Excite, Engage and Succeed in Potty Training Your Toddler With 100% Success. If I could write that book I would have enough money to end our current economic crisis. Sleeping, eating, tantruming and pooping are the most often asked questions of any early childhood expert. While not everyone agrees, I think pushing a child toward a deadline; school or impending baby sister causes undue stress around a bodily function. While I’m not a therapist or a doctor, that can’t ever be good.

Having said that, there are some steps that can move toddlers in the right direction in a clear yet serendipitous manner. To see Lonna's specific instructions, read more

siblings

Parenting Q&A: My Daughters Won't Stop Fighting

Q. My kids never stop arguing.

Q. My kids never stop arguing. They elbow each other in the backseat, fight over toys, taunt one another and it just never ends! If one is playing with something, the other one grabs it. They constantly mimic each other. How can we get them to find peace as sisters?

A.: I'm 45 and my sister, 41, is my best friend, but I remember the days of pulling her down the hall by her hair. Take a deep breath and give them permission to dislike each other. Tell them very clearly that they do not have to like each other, but they have to act polite to each other or there will be consequences. Create a house respect policy; post the policy for all to see. Do not give warnings. One strike and they are out.
To see Lonna's list of tips to get squabbles under control, read more

Sleeping

Parenting Q&A: Haven't Slept Through the Night in Three Years

Q. I have been awake for three years!

Q. I have been awake for three years! Our son still wakes up at least twice a night. How can I get him to sleep through? Our older son just did it on his own.

A. I can remember sitting in my car watching people walk by thinking, “You’ve probably had more than two hours sleep” and glaring at them like a sniper. Sorry your first-born spoiled you, but now there is only one answer. You have to make him stay in his bed and go back to sleep. Here’s the formula I prescribe. If you follow it, I promise within a week you will get a full night sleep and no longer be a Mommy Zombie longing to eat the well rested.

To see Lonna's process, read more

dressing

Parenting Q&A: Getting Son Dressed Is Causing Such Distress!

Q. My two-year-old hates getting dressed.

Q. My two-year-old hates getting dressed.  It’s a daily struggle to get him into pants and a shirt.  Why did this happen so suddenly, he never minded being outfitted before?

A. The job of a two-year-old is to establish independence from mommy and daddy. The job of mommy and daddy is to help him understand boundaries and ground rules so his new found need to be independent isn’t harmful. Why so sudden the Tim Gunn attitude? Because he just realized he has the magical power of Choice.

To see the rest of Lonna's answer, read more

siblings

Parenting Q&A: How Do I Make Room For Baby?

Question: I have a 16-month-old daughter and am expecting my second child in September at which point my daughter will be 23 months.

Question: I have a 16-month-old daughter and am expecting my second child in September at which point my daughter will be 23 months. We have a three bedroom house and are going to give the kids their own rooms. My daughter currently has the much smaller room which is ideal for the nursery and we are thinking about switching her to the bigger room just before her brother or sister is born.

The switch would be ideal for us as we would be able to move some of her toys and other things out of our already crowded living room into her larger room and make way for all the baby things that we will be pulling out of storage. My concern is that this will create too much change for her and she will view it as the new baby taking her room. Do you think we should just leave her in the small room or is it okay to make the jump?

To see Lonna's answer, read more

Death

Parenting Q&A: How Do I Tell My Kids About Miscarriage?

Q. My four and seven-year-olds were thrilled when I told them I was pregnant.

Q. My four and seven-year-olds were thrilled when I told them I was pregnant. How do I break the news that I miscarried? Should we do something to commemorate the baby?

A. The celebration of life is the most wonderful experience to share. We have come so far as a culture in enjoying the process and sharing it with our children. Mourning a loss, one we know can happen during any pregnancy, is not as comfortable. However, loss is a huge part of life. As our children’s first teachers we must teach them how to mourn. Find the words that your heart and faith can stand behind. Tell them something very sad happened and that it is no ones fault, the baby could not be born. Don’t be afraid to cry. Most importantly, listen to them. Listen to what they ask and answer as simply as you can. As a family you may need closure by commemorating, but don’t rush into anything. Give your heart and mind time to heal a little before you act. Take cues from your children. Help them move on by grieving, listening and giving everyone time.

— Lonna Corder

Parenting expert and Montessori school director, Lonna Corder has been doling out advice for 25 years as a teacher, parent/child consultant and on television. For more information, visit lonnacorder.com.

If you're at your wit's end about an issue and want another take on the situation, private message your question to lilsugar. We'll be running this feature all week!

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parenting

Parenting Q&A Roundup

At some point in life, every mom faces a parenting dilemma and more often than not it's in the first few years of her offspring's life.
Parenting Q&A Roundup

At some point in life, every mom faces a parenting dilemma and more often than not it's in the first few years of her offspring's life. Suddenly, getting your child to eat more than just carbohydrates or stopping him from throwing fits seems easier said than done. So we've enlisted parenting expert and Montessori school director, Lonna Corder, to answer your questions this week! She's been doling out advice for 25 years as a teacher, parent/child consultant and on television. Check out our slideshow to see her advice on topics from whining to preschool readiness.

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parenting

Parenting Q&A: When Is My Child Ready For Preschool?

Q. How do I know when my child is ready for preschool?

Q. How do I know when my child is ready for preschool? Is there a certain age when we should sign my daughter up or is it more about her social and intelligence levels?

A. An entire book could be written on this topic, but let me break it down simply. Consider your community. If you live in a city were one must go to private elementary school then preschool is needed. Where your child goes will depend on the philosophy you like and the hours you are interested in. If you live in a town where your child will attend the neighborhood public school then you have more freedom. You can consider how much exposure they will have to other children through parks or short classes. If you have the knowledge and patience to teach your child counting, sound recognition, science experiments and take them to the playground—then keeping your child home is a fantastic choice.

To read the rest of Lonna's answer, read more

parenting

Parenting Q&A: My Child Only Eats Carbs!

Q. My child used to eat everything and now at four, she’s an extremely picky eater.

Q. My child used to eat everything and now at four, she’s an extremely picky eater. How can I encourage her to eat foods other than pancakes, buttered pasta and peanut butter and jelly?

A. Aw, the Carbatarian who enjoys fat as a side dish — very common, but very upsetting to parents, especially moms. Our first way to nurture our babies is through food. Eating what we provide tells us they love and appreciate how much we do for them. Not to mention the pride we take in the child who gobbles tofu and grilled eggplant. In an age where a whole television network is devoted to food, who wants the kid who only eats boxed mac n’ cheese?

For the rest of Lonna's answer, read more