Lonna Corder

Organization

Parenting Q&A: Toys Have Cluttered Our House!

Q. Our house looks like Santa's workshop with stuffed animals, race cars and art supplies scattered throughout.

Q. Our house looks like Santa's workshop with stuffed animals, race cars and art supplies scattered throughout. We try to get our children to keep their items in their own rooms, but it seems like a losing battle. Should we get rid of stuff or is there a best way to organize goods to encourage tidiness?

A. Santa’s workshop has elves to maintain order, mommies typically don’t. We all have found ourselves stepping on a Barbie shoe or broken Pez head. Toys can cost so little and manage to buy us time at the check out counter or relieve guilt after a frantic day. These things become meaningless and clutter our children’s lives and our common living spaces. Here are some tips to purge and reset order in your home.
1. Spend a few days observing your child’s play patterns. Toys that are not touched and have gathered dust around them need to go on a toss or store mental list. Whatever you do, do not ask your children. They will attach to every item like a tick. When children are gone, go through and toss or store unused toys.
2. Create simple portable bins for remaining toys. Take pictures of items or label them if your child can read so they know what to put in the bins. Legos go in a designated bin as do cars, etc. Bins are stored in the children’s room and can be brought out at in an agreed upon amount. Some children want to build a dinosaur kingdom so certainly the dino and block bins can come out at the same time. Heck, some creative carefree households could allow all bins. To see the other step Lonna recommends, read more

parenting

Parenting Q&A: OK For Opposite-Sex Siblings to Share Room?

Q. My son, 1, and daughter, 3, share a room.

Q. My son, 1, and daughter, 3, share a room. Is there a certain point when they should be moved into separate bedrooms?

A. Other cultures do not have the luxury of space to create gender-exclusive rooms. We are a bit phobic about having our sons and daughters together too long. I personally think it is a lovely experience for both as long as they feel like they have privacy; typically this occurs when the eldest starts elementary school and begins to clearly choose same-sex friends. An older sister will not want to share her Polly Pocket world with her new BFF and her little brother. It is for that reason, and only that reason, I can see splitting them up. Boys and girls, despite my generation's theories, do play differently and should be able to have their own space to do so.

— Lonna Corder

Parenting expert and Montessori school director Lonna Corder has been doling out advice for 25 years as a teacher, parent/child consultant, and on television. For more information, visit lonnacorder.com.

If you're at your wit's end about an issue and want another take on the situation, private message your question to lilsugar. We'll be running this feature all week!

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Toddler

Parenting Q&A: How To Channel My Two-Year-Old's Energy?

Q. My two-year-old son is incredibly active.

Q. My two-year-old son is incredibly active. He is always on the go and has a hard time sitting still for long periods of time. Are there particular sports or activities that could help him channel his energy?

A. Two things: It Sounds like you have a normal two-year-old boy and there are no age appropriate sports for a toddler. Two-year-olds should jump in their back yard, run in parks, climb mountains of pillows, learn what a crab walk and bear walk are and then walk up the block that way. Organized activities will only frustrate the very active as sitting and following directions for a period of time will not set him up for success. Keeping him safe is key so creating obstacle courses, having a small trampoline or a mat for tumbling helps. Bottom line —let him move. To see the rest of Lonna's answer, read more

Toddler

Parenting Q&A: Child Needs to Be Potty Trained For Preschool!

Q. My two and a half year old daughter has to be out of diapers by September when she starts preschool.

Q. My two and a half year old daughter has to be out of diapers by September when she starts preschool. So far she
has shown no interest in being potty trained. Do you have any tips on how I can get her engaged in the process?

A. How to Excite, Engage and Succeed in Potty Training Your Toddler With 100% Success. If I could write that book I would have enough money to end our current economic crisis. Sleeping, eating, tantruming and pooping are the most often asked questions of any early childhood expert. While not everyone agrees, I think pushing a child toward a deadline; school or impending baby sister causes undue stress around a bodily function. While I’m not a therapist or a doctor, that can’t ever be good.

Having said that, there are some steps that can move toddlers in the right direction in a clear yet serendipitous manner. To see Lonna's specific instructions, read more

parenting

Parenting Q&A: Working Parents Want Max Time With Tot

Q. My husband and I both work full time and don't get to spend much time with our two-year-old during the week.

Q. My husband and I both work full time and don't get to spend much time with our two-year-old during the week. We eat breakfast as a family, but then our son spends the rest of the day with his nanny and is asleep by the time we get home. How can we maximize our quality time with him on weekends? ?

A. It is with compassion and support that I answer this. Parents no longer have the luxury of choosing to work; we must work to keep everything together. It seems irresponsible for one employed parent to leave a job when the other could lose theirs the next day. Two-year-olds have very specific needs for their development. They need to develop their large motor skills, they need to be exposed to rich language experiences, and they need to have a strong sense of order and security. Parents are the first and most influential teachers. If weekends are the only precious hours, make every waking minute count. For the rest of Lonna's answer, read more

slideshow

Parenting Q&A Roundup

Young children are full of surprises from not sleeping through the night to refusing to get dressed.
Parenting Q&A Roundup

Young children are full of surprises from not sleeping through the night to refusing to get dressed. Often, figuring out how to handle the issue is easier said than done. So we enlisted parenting expert and Montessori school director, Lonna Corder, to answer your questions this past week! She's been doling out advice for 25 years as a teacher, parent/child consultant and on television. Check out our slideshow to see her advice on topics from sibling squabbles to making room for another baby.
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siblings

Parenting Q&A: My Daughters Won't Stop Fighting

Q. My kids never stop arguing.

Q. My kids never stop arguing. They elbow each other in the backseat, fight over toys, taunt one another and it just never ends! If one is playing with something, the other one grabs it. They constantly mimic each other. How can we get them to find peace as sisters?

A.: I'm 45 and my sister, 41, is my best friend, but I remember the days of pulling her down the hall by her hair. Take a deep breath and give them permission to dislike each other. Tell them very clearly that they do not have to like each other, but they have to act polite to each other or there will be consequences. Create a house respect policy; post the policy for all to see. Do not give warnings. One strike and they are out.
To see Lonna's list of tips to get squabbles under control, read more

Sleeping

Parenting Q&A: Haven't Slept Through the Night in Three Years

Q. I have been awake for three years!

Q. I have been awake for three years! Our son still wakes up at least twice a night. How can I get him to sleep through? Our older son just did it on his own.

A. I can remember sitting in my car watching people walk by thinking, “You’ve probably had more than two hours sleep” and glaring at them like a sniper. Sorry your first-born spoiled you, but now there is only one answer. You have to make him stay in his bed and go back to sleep. Here’s the formula I prescribe. If you follow it, I promise within a week you will get a full night sleep and no longer be a Mommy Zombie longing to eat the well rested.

To see Lonna's process, read more

dressing

Parenting Q&A: Getting Son Dressed Is Causing Such Distress!

Q. My two-year-old hates getting dressed.

Q. My two-year-old hates getting dressed.  It’s a daily struggle to get him into pants and a shirt.  Why did this happen so suddenly, he never minded being outfitted before?

A. The job of a two-year-old is to establish independence from mommy and daddy. The job of mommy and daddy is to help him understand boundaries and ground rules so his new found need to be independent isn’t harmful. Why so sudden the Tim Gunn attitude? Because he just realized he has the magical power of Choice.

To see the rest of Lonna's answer, read more

siblings

Parenting Q&A: How Do I Make Room For Baby?

Question: I have a 16-month-old daughter and am expecting my second child in September at which point my daughter will be 23 months.

Question: I have a 16-month-old daughter and am expecting my second child in September at which point my daughter will be 23 months. We have a three bedroom house and are going to give the kids their own rooms. My daughter currently has the much smaller room which is ideal for the nursery and we are thinking about switching her to the bigger room just before her brother or sister is born.

The switch would be ideal for us as we would be able to move some of her toys and other things out of our already crowded living room into her larger room and make way for all the baby things that we will be pulling out of storage. My concern is that this will create too much change for her and she will view it as the new baby taking her room. Do you think we should just leave her in the small room or is it okay to make the jump?

To see Lonna's answer, read more