Bev R. and Beth M. say are keenly aware that the uneasy relationships they have with their in-laws are impacting their kids and their marriages. Bev is distressed by in-laws who only show interest in her kids. And Beth's mother-in-law criticizes everything she does, non-stop. The resulting conflict with her spouse, she confides, "could destroy our marriage."

Like many Circle of Moms members who worry about prickly in-law relationships (and there are many), these women are seeking ways to bond (or at least get along more amicably) with the family members they gained through marriage in an effort to keep their families healthy. To help, here are tips from other Circle of Moms members, on bridging the in-law gap.

1. Lower Your Expectations

Instead of driving yourself crazy fretting over whether you're actually at fault or trying to pretend your situation isn't difficult, Kim M. suggests acknowledging to yourself that you have a real challenge. Alli S. agrees, adding that moms do well to not take the acrimony personally:

“If they are difficult with you, they are probably difficult with most people who present the same/similar threats to them,” she says.

When you acknowledge to yourself that your situation is difficult, you create a healthier starting point for addressing the tension, because your expectations will be lower. “You’ll begin to discover what makes them tick so you can have compassion, humility and (may I hope) mercy,” for them, Kim adds, noting that you're also setting a good example for your children on how to face challenging relationships in life.

2. Know that It Often Takes Years

You can’t change another person's behaviors or opinions, so be a role model for your children and show respect for everyone’s point of view, says Antoinette B. You can find some common ground even if your in-laws are challenging people or you come from different generations and backgrounds if you are accepting, she has found. After 15 years of working to find neutral ground with her in-laws, she shares that they finally do "accept me for who I am."

Peita S., too, “has had to work at it,” but believes the hard work has been worth it. Now, she says, “I get along great with all my in-laws.” She and her husband had to figure out a way to get along with her brother- and sister in-laws too. “I think extended family is what you make of it,” she says, adding that “everyone needs to make an effort."

The good news, says Becki E., is that over time, and with patience, you can build a workable relationship. “It took us 12 years to get to know each other, but now I am very lucky to say my in-laws are the best.”

3. Set Boundaries

With in-laws who were over-involved and omnipresent in her family's lives, Stacia J. decided early on to set boundaries to protect herself. She had “a heart-to-heart" with her husband and in-laws, explaining that she appreciated them and would continue to do so, but that she needed "a different arrangement and more time" for herself and her family. In the end, her in-laws appreciated her honesty and “were very supportive.”  

Tomica T. and Jamie H. also discovered that the key to getting along well with their in-laws was establishing and holding to certain rules. As Tomica puts it, “Your household is your household and you shouldn’t stand for nose butting," while Jamie stresses that getting your husband's support in the boundary setting is essential.

On this last point, Lanae F. urges a women in this situation to have her husband establish the relationship rules with his parents:

"He needs to set them not you. He needs to sit down with his mother and family and lovingly tell her that you are his wife and the mother of her grandchildren and for those reason the family needs to respect you. How she reacts is her choice,” she counsels.

When All Else Fails

When, despite all your efforts nothing changes, several moms urge coming to an agreement with your spouse to let go of the ideal of a bonded extended family and agree to keep your distance. As Connie T. and Bridget W. share, this is sometimes healthier than continuing to shoulder the strain of in-laws who won't partner with you in working on the problem:

Connie and her husband eventually came to the agreement that their family would be just the two of them and their children. Her in-laws, she says, "are the ones who miss out."

How do you deal with difficult in-laws? 

Image Source: iStockPhoto

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

I had picked out a name for my first born son back when I was in college. I recall being at work and hearing a mother yelling after her son, "Blake!" He wasn't listening, but the name stuck with me. Later, when I was pregnant for the first time, I shared it with my handsome husband and he said, of course, "We'll see." 

My husband's family, of the Jewish faith, shared the tradition of naming a new-born after a family member who had recently passed. I was told that if you use the first initial of that person's first name, it will give them eyes in heaven to see.  

As it turned out, my father-in-law passed shortly before my beautiful boy was born. His name was Robert, but we called him Bob. So to stick with Jewish tradition, we needed a "B" name. Blake fit the bill!

Then it came to the middle name. On my side of the family we have Japanese middle names. However, since I picked Blake's first name, my husband insisted that he should be able to select the middle name. He chose David, after his grandfather. I really liked the sound of Blake David, so was in agreement.  

We went by the same set of rules for baby number two. We started off with my husband's favorite name for a girl, Melissa. Since he selected our princess' first name, I chose Rei for her middle name. Rei, meaning lovely and inspirational, is also part of my mother's middle name, Reiko, and satisfied our Japanese tradition. 

It was really fulfilling to be able to combine our preferences with our families' traditions to create our children's names. But it's ironic that after such careful thought and consideration, my kids really only hear their full names when they're being disciplined!

Image Source: Courtsey of Jennifer Willey

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Asperger’s syndrome is a neurological disorder in the family of autism spectrum disorders. Because every child exhibits a different set of symptoms, there is no precise checklist of behaviors that  must all be present for a diagnosis. Instead, there are many behaviors that may be signs of Asperger's Syndrome. Here we've rounded up 10 of the common behaviors to watch for, as shared by moms whose kids have the condition.

1. Fixation on One Activity

Many children with Asperger's Syndrome are preoccupied with a single or a few interests, and focus on them for hours on end. As Circle of Moms member Karen R. shares: "The most common report from every parent I know...is that their kid fixated on something (their cars, their blue toys, their books) and played or attended [to] that thing for an OUTRAGEOUSLY long time."

2. “Little Professor” Speech

"Typically a child with Asperger's sounds 'like a little professor," shares one Circle of Moms member Sheila D. "They tend to have advanced verbal skills, but due to the autism aspect of the syndrome they might seem fixated on a topic that they want to talk about ALL THE TIME." Children with Asperger's may also speak more formally than usual for their age, or prefer talking to adults.

3. Difficulty Reading Social Cues

Social difficulties are another key sign of Asperger's Syndrome. Reading body language may be hard, as well as taking turns or holding a conversation. As Eliana F. shares: "Group work at school is also hard for him, as he does not understand waiting his turn or accepting others point of view."  Similarly, Colleen notes: “My son is very social, but he doesn't engage in two way conversations. He just talks and talks.”  As a result of their social difficulties, children with Asperger's may seem isolated from their peers.

4. Need for Routine

“Structure plays a big part in our lives now," shares Wendy B. Like many children with Asperger's, Wendy's granddaughter needs routines. "Otherwise it is very confusing for her. So shower is at 8:30 pm. Bedtime is at 9:30 pm. Breakfast at 8:30 am, lunch at 12, supper at 6. You get the message, very structured. If I want to take her shopping I start telling her a few days ahead, that way it doesn't upset her, but we still follow the same routine."

5. Emotional Meltdowns

"My boy tends to have meltdowns when he gets overwhelmed," shares Circle of Moms member Ylice. She's not alone: many children with Asperger's can't handle routines or plans going awry. Amanda B. describes it as an "inability to control emotions when things are 'out of order.'" 

6. Lack of Empathy

Another sign of of Asperger's is a seeming lack of empathy for others. Jennifer B. explains that her daughter “has no clue that people around here have feelings or wants and needs. She's kinda like in her own little bubble as far as that goes. She can be totally aloof, in the clouds.”

7. Can't Understand Speech Subtleties

Some people with Asperger's have a hard time understanding speech tone, pitch, and accent. As Alice D. explains, they may take words very literally and be unable to understand sarcasm or jokes: "He doesn't get jokes and things like that, he can't tell if someone is kidding or if they are being serious."

8. Unusual Body Language

Other signs of Asperger's Syndrome include unusual facial expressions or postures, and either staring a lot at others, or avoiding eye contact altogether. Dana W. relays of her brother with Asperger's: "He would never ever look people in the eyes."

9. Delayed Motor Development

From handwriting to riding a bike, poor or delayed motor skills of many kinds could be a sign of Asperger's. As Kim F. shares of her son, who was diagnosed with Asperger's in the second grade, "He was not athletic and had poor motor skills. Couldn't skip, gallop etc."

10. Sensory Sensitivities

Many children with Asperger's have heightened sensory sensitivity. As a result, they can be easily overstimulated by certain sensations, whether it's strong lights, loud noises, or textures. Jennifer B. notes of her daughter: "Even now she doesn't like wearing some fabrics because of the way they feel. There are some sensations that she just does not like! Certain sounds, touches, etc."

If you think your child may have Asperger's, many Circle of Moms members advise that the best path is to get an expert's evaluation as soon as possible. And don't be discouraged! As Sheila D. wisely advises: "It is typical to be scared and nervous, but a diagnosis of Asperger's is not the end of the road for your child. It is a tool that will help you to help your child navigate a very different path than his 'neurotypical' peers. Find a local support group. Get informed, and be the best mom you can be."

The preceding information is for educational purposes only. For specific medical advice, diagnoses, and treatment, consult your doctor.

Related Reading

3 Common Signs of ADD/ADHD

Early Signs of Autism

20 Signs Your Child May Be Gifted

Educating Resistant Teachers About Special Needs

Image Source: via Flickr/Creative Commons

Whether it's a casual family gathering or a high-pressure holiday, meeting your sig-o's parents is never easy. But the pressure really mounts when those parents will soon be your in-laws.

No matter how cool they are, your first time meeting your boyfriend's or girlfriend's parents will give you the jitters, and that's perfectly OK. It's a pretty big deal, so just accept that and move on. Meanwhile, follow these 10 simple rules, and you'll be off to a good start.

• Don't make it all about you. You want to make a good first impression, but spouting off endless facts about yourself isn't necessarily the way to go. Think of yourself as a guest at their family gathering, rather than the center of attention.
• Do ask questions. This serves two purposes: it makes people feel special, and it lets you get to know what they're all about. Chances are, they'll have some cute stories to tell about your fiancè and the fam.

Four more dos and don'ts after the jump.

Jessica Biel recently raved about her great relationship with boyfriend Justin Timeberlake's mother. She said:

"Lynn is the most wonderful woman. I am so in love with her. She's amazing. She's so down-to-earth and her family is great."

Well that's a far cry from the stereotypically-problematic relationship between mother and girlfriend! While not all of us are lucky to be "in love" with our partner's mom, do any of you have tips for simply getting along?

Well, a comedian who just happens to be her daughter-in-law!

It sounds like the beginning of a bad joke, but comedian Sunda Croonquist’s mother-in-law Ruth Zafrin was not kidding when she filed a lawsuit against Sunda for telling so many jokes about her. Croonquist capitalizes on their ethnic differences in her envelope-pushing jokes — she is half-black and half-Swedish, was raised Catholic, and married into a Jewish family.

A typical joke goes something like this. On a first visit to her mother-in-law Ruthie’s house, Croonquist says, "I walk in, I say, 'Thank you so much for having me here, Ruthie.' 'The pleasure’s all mine,' she replies, 'have a seat.' Then she whispers, 'Harriet, put my pocketbook away.'"

Zafrin filed the lawsuit (along with her daughter and her daughter's husband), when material on Croonquist's website made it easy for people to figure out the in-laws' identities. Croonquist is accused of "spreading false, defamatory and racist lies" in comedy club routines that have even been aired on Comedy Central. Croonquist agreed to remove any offensive comments on her website but refused to pay a settlement. (Her husband's law firm is handling her case. Awkward!)

Zafrin isn't exactly giving mother-in-laws a good name. It seems that there would've been a less alienating way of handling this, like, say, asking Croonquist to cut it out! Who do you think is in the wrong?