Handling Bad Behavior

Last week, we shared a story from The Mommy Club about a man on a bus who decided to teach a feisty toddler a lesson. Many of you had strong reactions to the incident. While some thought the man overreacted, others thought the mom talking on her cell phone was at fault.

• "I get really annoyed at parents who don't try to control their kids. The mom should really have paid attention and made sure her son knew this behavior was not okay. She didn't, and I think it would have been absolutely fine for someone to have spoken up. But the man's reaction is crazy." – starbucks
• "The title of this post is misleading. It says punish, but this man abused the kid! If I were the mom (frankly I'm more diligent than that to begin with and my kid knows better than to run around crazy in public) and someone told him to stop I'd be fine with it. I would apologize to them and pull my son on my lap. Someone kicking him and yelling at him is a totally different story! But even if someone did kick him, I wouldn't stand up threatening to kill someone." — amandachalynn
• "I think the man was out of line, but the mom is defiantly at fault, too. Like starbucks said, it would have been fine for someone to speak up. I also get very annoyed at people who do nothing to control their kids because it gives us all a bad name." — Carri
• "All of you millennium Moms crack me up. The Mom was totally at fault 100%. The elderly man was doing what elders do, teach the young consequences of their actions. Its just too bad the elderly man wasn't related to him, or else it would have been a different conversation. It does take a village...and if you don't like the villagers raising your child, get off the freakin' phone!" — mamasanh
• "Both at fault. Mom is the bigger problem. Americans are raising their children showing them that technology is a priority. I am appalled at how many parents with children, of any age for that matter, that pay more attention to a hand held gadget than their child. And this isn't just about parents of children that are misbehaving. I have seen numerous accounts of poorly behaved and perfectly behaved children with parent that would rather be having screen time than interacting with their children. Sad, but true." — madcitymom

Keep reading to see how other mamas chimed in!

Parents aim to raise their children to be productive members of society, so when kids start pitching public fits or socking playmates at the park, most moms and dads step in to guide their offspring toward more positive interactions. From Kate Gosselin to Alec Baldwin, everyone has an opinion on the proper way to discipline. One trend that is increasingly popular with today's parents is time-out.

A time-out removes a child from a situation so they can reflect on their behavior. It also serves as a cooling off period. How and when that time-out is taken depends on which philosophy a parent chooses to follow. Here are two common techniques:

1-2-3 Magic: Dr. Thomas Phelan uses the time-out as the end-result of a warning system.  According to his theory, a parent warns a child with, "That's 1", "That's 2", and then "That's 3 and time-out" over the course of 30 minutes. If the tot reaches the end stage, without emotion the parent removes the child from their current environment and places them in their room for one minute per year of age. When the time-out is over, the child is free to go on with their activities — no apology or conversation about the misbehavior is necessary.

Naughty Step: This method, made famous by Supernanny Jo Frost, tells parents to confront their child's misbehavior when it happens, explain why it is wrong, and warn them not to do it again. If the tot repeats the action, he is placed on a step on the staircase or a mat for one minute per year of age with a short explanation as to why he was put there. When the time-out is over, the parent should get on the child's level and explain the misbehavior one more time, ask for an apology, and then praise the child for their understanding.

Do you use time-out with your children, and if so, which method?