Bratz

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• Adolf Hitler's mother speaks out about her children's names — Breitbart

Forget the sexual messages Bratz dolls send to little girls who buy them (nice blowup doll lips, Miss Bratz!). The Onion is worried that the takeaway message for girls is that "in order to be beautiful you have to have a head that's twice the size of your torso." Says one concerned mother, "I want her to feel good about her head. You have to say you're OK with having a little head, and with having a nose."

One of the best gifts any parent can give their child is the love for reading. Reading experts often encourage new parents to introduce their newborns to books starting on day one. Whether it's the newspaper, a magazine, or Goodnight Moon, they say that the ritual and inflection are often what matters most.

As infants grow and their reading capabilities sharpen, the subject of the texts obviously becomes more relevant. I would rather my daughter choose to read To Kill a Mockingbird over Sweet Valley High, but I think reading anything over nothing is preferable.

The well-known book supplier Scholastic holds book fairs in elementary schools throughout the country. On their lists of available titles are often some of pop culture's favorite characters: Sponge Bob and Harry Potter are just two. Until recently, Bratz were also part of the Scholastic collection. That was until more than 5,000 people from the Campaign for Commercial-Free Childhood wrote to Scholastic pressuring them to take any form of the dolls out of schools, even in books. Initially, the book company took the stance that Bratz books were important to reach "reluctant readers." For kids who dislike reading but love the Bratz, I think it's a valid argument. If my daughter chose to read a Bratz book over nothing at all, I'd have a hard time pulling that book, albeit brain candy, from her lil hands.

What's your position on pulling commercialized type books like Bratz from schools?

A legal battle has been waged between the makers of Barbie and Bratz dolls. Seventy four percent of lilsugar readers said that they would allow their daughters to play with the iconic Barbie despite her impossible curves and the fact that her feet have never been planted firmly on the ground. But, there's a newer doll in town that has done its best in recent years to put the plastic blond bombshell out of business — Bratz. Created by a former Mattel employee, the nine-inch Bratz come gussied up with smoky eye shadow and a whole lot of attitude. Do you think she's got what it takes to bury Barbie?

Barbie better break out a pair of combat boots soon because there's a war in Toyland and those high heels ain't gonna cut it. Her opponent? The Bratz. They're younger. They're sexier. And in this battle, their disproportionately big heads will serve them better than Barbie's disproportionately big bust. So what's all the fuss about? Mattel, the maker of Barbie, claims that the popular Bratz concept technically belongs to them because the former employee responsible for the Bratz line conceived his idea while working at Mattel. Blah, blah, blah...who cares? Look people- we're splitting hairs here, and no doll is desirable with pesky split ends. So let's get together and throw a big bonding dress-up party in the Malibu dream house. My Barbie's good to go, as long as the Bratz agree to keep their greedy little girl limbs off of Ken. It'll be fun.