Blended Families

Newborn adoptees can be anywhere from hours to weeks old when placed with the families that will raise them so the process is similar to bringing home a baby from the hospital. Moms and dads who opted for an international adoption process or are adopting older children may be faced with some challenges as all parties mesh into a family.  Here are some tips for easing that transition.

• Make the child's room a safe place for them by surrounding them with familiar sights, be it photos of their hometown, a favorite stuffed animal or blanket they brought with them, or CDs filled with music they may have listened to prior to entering your life.
• Give the child time to understand who the new family is before allowing others to spend excessive amounts of time in your home.  Avoid overnight guests for the first month or so until the tot is comfortable with the people he sees on a daily basis.
• Many internationally adopted tots were not properly nourished in their birth countries and can take to sneaking and hiding food out of fear. Allow them to keep some snacks in their room to help establish trust and show them how easily accessible the kitchen is at all times.
• Give the child choices in terms of the food that she eats and the clothes that she wears. Initially she may feel that she was forced into this new relationship.  By giving her choices, she will feel that she has some control of her situation.

Families of adoptees will experience the same joys and frustrations of other parents throughout their lives, but they will also face some unique challenges, particularly if their children are from different backgrounds. For tips on how to handle these situations, read more

The true sisterhood of women is showcased when one woman carries a child for another. Domestic and international adoptions may be the most common ways families introduce nonbiological children into their lives, but last year's movie Baby Mama and Sarah Jessica Parker's recent addition of twins have made surrogacy a common topic.  Though there are no national statistics on the practice, it is estimated that approximately 1,000 such births occur each year.

After dealing with infertility and still desiring a family, some couples turn to another woman to carry their baby. In traditional surrogacy, the surrogate is artificially inseminated, by either the child-to-be's father or an anonymous donor, while in gestational surrogacy, an egg is removed from the future child's mother and fertilized with sperm from either the father or an anonymous donor. The fertilized egg is then implanted in the carrier via IVF.  Similar to the adoption process, families interested in surrogacy often work with an agency to help them find a suitable surrogate, handle the legal issues that the transaction involves, and help them through the process.

Qualifications:  Similar to adoption, families meet and register with an agency to learn about the process. and to find a carrier.  In general, agencies require carriers to be between 23-38 years old, have previously had at least one child on their own, be married or in a serious relationship, undergo a complete medical and psychological evaluation, and be financially stable.

To see the rest of our look at surrogacy, including a chart of the states where it is legal, read more

Every child deserves a place to call home and loving parents to raise it. Sometimes the parties must travel thousands of miles to meet each other. International adoption is a process which can take anywhere from nine months to several years depending on the child's country of origin.  Unlike domestic adoptions, international ones usually involve children that are placed in orphanages or have been made legally available by their parents.

Each country has its own set of guidelines and having an understanding of the culture can help before bringing the child into your home.  Most families interested in international adoption work with an agency to help them through the process.  Among the most popular countries Americans adopt from are Russia, China, Taiwan, Ethiopia, Vietnam, South Korea and Kazakhstan. Last year, 17,438 children were adopted internationally.

Qualifications: Like the domestic adoption process, families register with an agency and attend information sessions.  They then go through the home-study process, which involves criminal and medical background checks, fingerprints, a safe home and stable living environment inspection, a financial records review, references, interviews with adoption counselors and monitoring of marital status.  The family must then receive approval from the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services before submitting their paperwork to the country they are interested in adopting from.

To see the rest of our look at international adoption, read more

Not all mothers meet their babies at birth. For some, connecting with their child is more a labor of effort and love. Celebrities like Angelina Jolie, Meg Ryan, Edie Falco, Calista Flockhart, and Nia Vardalos have put familiar faces on adoption and made it a household word. Hopeful parents have reasons ranging from fertility issues to choice in deciding to adopt domestically. The process involves the placement of American-born children with US-based parents and can be facilitated by an agency, like New York's Spence-Chapin or a private attorney. Firms match birth mothers and adoptive families and usher them through the process while lawyers often work with doctors who have patients interested in handing their children over for someone else to raise.

Qualifications: Once families register with an agency, they go through a home-study process, which involves criminal and medical background checks, a safe home and stable living environment inspection, a financial records review and monitoring of marital status. The family also submits a letter to prospective birth mothers explaining why they want to adopt.

To see the rest of our look at domestic adoption read more