Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Betsy Shaw about the perils of calling your kid "Buddy."

An article in the Sunday New York Times subjects the newish tendency for parents to refer to their children as "Buddy" to some seriously analytical scrutiny.

Where once fathers were hard-pressed to use any name more personal than "Son" when addressing their male offspring, shout the name "Buddy" at a random playground today, and you might turn quite a few little heads.

Related: Why Do Girlish Boys Bother Us More Than Boyish Girls?

But it's not just fathers who use the pet name Buddy, which some psychologists find to be indicative of a problematic change in parent-child relations. Mothers use it, too. I’d be willing to guess it’s a name most often reserved for boy children, but the article never comes out and says this. One theory, posed by a stay-at-home dad, sees the easy use of the name Buddy as a sign that dads are more involved with and, in turn more comfortable with, their kids.

While Buddy sounds benign, it does carry with it the direct association with close, mutual friendship. And that, according to the article, makes some parenting experts nervous.

"Having rejected the authoritarian parenting style that many of them grew up with, American parents today prefer to give their children the opportunity to prove themselves as equals almost from birth, to make those 'good choices' that preclude the need for punishment. 'Buddy Parenting' is one of the seven deadly parenting styles that the psychologist Michele Borba wrote about in a 2009 book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries."

I’ve got a few nicknames for my daughters: "Sweet," "Honey," "Little Sack of Sugar," and other unoriginal monikers that conjure up visions of edible treats. Buddy has never occurred to me. It’s also never occurred to me until this very second, that all these edible nicknames, when analyzed, put me in a position of power. "I could eat you, you know."

If I had a son, would I call him Buddy? I kind of doubt it, only because I had an adult acquaintance who overused that name so freely, and without any consideration for social boundaries, it has formally been entered into my most-annoying-pet-names book.

My husband, a stoic Brit, never uses common terms of affection. The occasional "Possum" escapes him when he's off his guard. He cringes visibly when I call him or the children "Honey."

While Buddy isn't a name I would use on my kids, I hesitate to see it as an indication that parents are so hard up for approval, and friendship, they're trying to get it from their kids.

It's an easy pet name. That's all.

What do you think of the pet name "Buddy"? Do you think it's any different, better, or worse than other nicknames? Do you use it?

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Denise Cortes about the future of middle names.

I always joke with my husband, Michael, that I knew I wanted to marry him after I found out what his middle name was. It's Dane. As in, Great Dane. Nothing says marriage material like a dude named after a large canine. Turns out, it was supposed to be Dan, but somehow the "e" got added on somewhere. Still, the name Dane is pretty cool.

I have a horrible middle name. Well, it’s not that horrible, seeing as how it's my mother's first name. But of all the beautiful names in this world, you had to go and choose Louise?

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Louise. Like, seriously. It sounds like an elderly woman with saggy boobs, swollen feet, and garlic breath. I mean, it's practically prophetic. Thanks a lot, Mom.

When it came time to bestow a middle name upon my children, I thought long and hard about it. Not because I assumed they would use it in everyday life. And to be honest, had I known how many children I was going to have, and how often I'd have to fill out their full names on random forms throughout our young lives . . . I would have thought twice about that middle name. Are middle names even necessary anymore?

If I had to do it again, I would still give my children a middle name. A good middle name should reflect the awesomeness of the bearer. Out of my six kids, two middle names stand out the most to me. The first is the middle name of my firstborn: Noah Zion. We named him Zion after Bob Marley's song Iron Lion Zion and its heavenly connotations. The next is my first daughter named Maya Damisi. Damisi is Swahili for "cheerful and happy."

I'm not one of those mothers who yells out her child's entire name when she is upset. Nope. Their middle names are too special to be spoken in frustration. I reserve its usage for those special times, and I say it with love and a smile on my face.

What do you think? Are middle names even important anymore? Did you give your baby a middle name?

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Betsy Shaw about the NYC mayor's plan to promote breastfeeding.

As part of his push toward improved public health, NYC Mayor Michael Bloomberg has shifted his focus from soft drinks to infant formula.

According to The New York Post, as of September, New York City hospitals taking part in a restrictive pro-breastfeeding program initiated by Mayor Bloomberg will be required to monitor every bit of formula they stock and use.

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Not only must the formula be accounted for, but also, a medical reason must be indicated and documented for each and every bottle of formula a baby receives.

With each bottle a mother requests and receives, she'll also get a talking-to. Staffers will explain why she should offer the breast instead.

"It's the patient's choice," said Allison Walsh of Beth Israel Medical Center. "But it's our job to educate them on the best option."

The program, called Latch-On NYC, is "a citywide initiative to support mothers who choose to breastfeed, and limit practices that interfere with that choice."

Participating hospitals — 27 of the city's largest 40 — must also stop distributing formula samples and formula-branded swag, such as gift bags and mugs.

Breastfeeding activists have always believed one of the biggest obstacles to breastfeeding comes in the form of easy access formula at the most crucial point: in the hospital immediately following birth. According to CBS News' Health Pop, the National Alliance For Breastfeeding Advocacy is behind this program:

The Alliance's executive director says keeping baby formula under lock and key, like medicines are kept, helps prevent hospital staffers from reaching for a bottle first, instead of encouraging new mothers to nurse their babies.

Apparently some hospitals already have similar formula policies in place. According to quote from a nurse at NYU's Langone Medical Center, breastfeeding has seen a substantial increase — from 39 percent to 68 percent — since starting this program.

From what I understand, this initiative is not meant to deny formula to new mothers who insist on it, but to prevent those who want to breastfeed from being sabotaged.

That said, sounds like this program might have the potential make moms who want to formula-feed feel bullied. But it could also make moms who want to commit to breastfeeding feel more supported.

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Source: Flickr user Raphael Goetter

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Joyce Slaton about tots and popular song lyrics.

Something strange has happened to the music on the radio lately: suddenly it doesn't suck. By which I mean my 7-year-old daughter and I like the same stuff. The dance-pop made by Lady Gaga, Katy Perry, Rihanna, Adele, and their ilk appeal equally to middle-aged people and little kids, who both appreciate the thumping rhythms and catchy beats.

Related: 5 Reasons to Have a Baby After 40

The problem? The lyrics. They're not made for kids. And it's pretty icky to hear a little girl singing about how she wants to have a toast for the douchebags (Kanye West's "Runaway") or she wants to hear you scream all night (Usher's "Scream"). There are songs with lyrics vague/positive enough for everyone (I'm looking at you, Taio Cruz's "Dynamite"), but there are plenty of others with lyrics that make a parent cringe when they hear them coming out of a child's mouth. Such as:

1. "Starships" by Nicki Minaj has a ferociously infectious beat and a chorus that seems innocuous enough when Minaj is singing about starships that are meant to fly. Sounds great! Until you get to the part about being higher than a motherf*cker and Minaj is advising listeners to f*ck who they want and f*ck who they like. Yikes! The video, which features Minaj rolling around in a bikini, is also cringe-inducing for parents.
2. "Can you blow my whistle, baby?" Flo Rida asks on his admittedly extremely catchy single "Whistle." You just put your lips together and you come real close, he advises female listeners, who he says are talented with their lips like they blew out candles. Hmm . . . I do not think Flo Rida is really talking about whistling, do you?
3. OK, so maybe kids will not understand what Ke$ha means when she talks about brushing her teeth with a bottle of Jack in her hit "Tik Tok," and leaving the house for the evening means she is not coming back. But when she sings about boys trying to touch her junk, junk, suddenly you will be snapping the radio off and initiating a round of "Old MacDonald."
4. It is enough to try to explain to little kids what the F is in the band name LMFAO. The lyrics to their unbelievably popular song "Party Rock Anthem" are equally troubling, with the singer explaining that he is running through hos like Dramo and that the girl you are looking for is on his jock. There is a long night of explanations ahead for parents whose kids wonder what this means, exactly.

Keep reading for the rest of the list!

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Sara McGinnis about Amy Poehler's new video series.

Forget the teens; Amy Poehler’s new "Ask Amy" series is winning with the moms. Why do we care what advice a celebrity has for a teen makeup dilemma? Aside from Amy Poehler's general awesomeness, candid nature, and propensity for humor, we all were once confused teen girls ourselves.

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One of the "Dear Abby"-style column's first teen conundrums came in the form of this question from a young viewer: "My dad won't let me wear makeup because he says 14 is too young. How am I supposed to feel as pretty as my friends who are allowed to wear makeup?"

Watch.

[Sidenote: If you heard "bababbabababah scabies!" in the opening song, rather than "Ask Amy," then you are not alone!]

Personally what I enjoyed most about Amy Poehler’s makeup advice is the video style. Kind, compassionate, understanding, and advice a girl could actually use — without any product-pushing or hyped-up production. It's pillow talk with an older sister.

The Mean Girls star, who is mom to sons Archie and Abel with husband Will Arnett, is the creator of Smart Girls at the Party, a video series focusing on girls "who are changing the world by being themselves."

Will the teens themselves eat Amy Poehler's advice up? We can hope . . . though this quote in particular seems to be best resonating with the moms:

You're so pretty, you don't even need [makeup]. I think pretty much every 14-year-old is so pretty they don't even need it.

Why is it that lesson is so hard to take in as a teen yet crystal clear as an adult? As one Twitter user put it recently, "They say you are what you eat . . . so I'm considering eating Amy Poehler."

Forget my teen self; I could use a nibble even today.

At what age did you first start wearing makeup? What do you think of Amy Poehler's teen makeup advice?

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Katherine Martin about baby shower controversies.

Baby showers are wonderful. Everyone gets together, celebrates the mom-to-be and her baby, she opens gorgeous gifts, gets great advice and all is well with the world.

At least that's how it's supposed to go. But sometimes baby showers are rife with a surprising amount of controversy. And certain ideas behind baby showers seem to bring about most of that dissension.

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Want to know the biggest baby shower controversies? I've gathered them together for you. As an aside, just because something made this list doesn't make it wrong or mean you shouldn't do it, it just means that people seem to disagree about it.

1. The "gift card" shower — Gift cards are amazing. However it is one thing to get gift cards from people who aren't sure what to give and to require gift cards. Requiring any certain type of gift will always be met with controversy.
2. Shower for baby #2, #3, #4, #5, etc — This seems to vary regionally. Some people believe "every child deserves a shower", for some it's "one and done". Just be aware of what others around you consider the norm to avoid drama.
3. Throwing your own baby shower — I've seen very few people defend the self thrown baby shower. Most people would advise saving the money you'll spend on a shower and use it to buy what you need for your baby. Otherwise some people feel it's a gift grab.
4. The "no kids allowed" baby shower — I get why people request this, but be aware it might lead to some hurt feelings…especially for friends with brand new babies.
5. The "Grandma" baby shower — This is almost never met with anything but controversy. It's the idea that grandma needs things at her house for the baby too, so she gets her own shower. Typically it's hosted by grandma's friends. Great idea if the baby is going to be at grandma's house a lot, awkward if the parents feel differently about the idea.

Keep reading to see the rest of the list of baby shower controversies!

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Source: Le Partie Sugar

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Amy Hatch about American Girl's newest doll.

When I saw in my Facebook feed last week that American Girl is offering an option for girls to choose a doll without hair, I was overjoyed — and it took me right back to 10 years ago, when I lost all of my hair to an autoimmune disease called alopecia areata.

Basically, your body sees your hair as a foreign invader and kills it off at the follicle. Most people lose only a small patch of hair (which was how my case presented at first, a dime-sized bald spot behind my ear) but in severe cases those afflicted can lose all (universalis) or most (totalis) of their head and body hair. I lost 90 percent of the hair on my head and I was bald for nearly two years.

Related: Tori Spelling on the joy of a delivery room surprise

I was lucky that all my hair grew back, thanks to what doctors believed was a kickstart of hormones from my first pregnancy. But when my first child was about three years old, I started to lose my hair again. Expecting to go bald again (spoiler: I didn't), I sat down to explain it to my daughter so she wouldn't be scared as my appearance started to change. Having a doll to use as an example would have made that hard conversation a lot easier.

I love that Mattel opened the door for dolls like this with their bald Barbie (which isn't available for sale), but there's something about a hairless bombshell that reminds me less of someone suffering from a disease or dealing with chemotherapy and more of Demi Moore in G.I. Jane. Don't get me wrong — I don't have anything against Barbies in general, but American Girl is a brand with a little more gravitas. Cancer treatments and conditions like alopecia are hard enough, but the changes that happen to your appearance can be just as devastating and this doll will help a lot of kids get through that with a little less pain.

Hats (hairs?) off to American Girl for making this terrific toy available for everyone!

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Molly Balint about retro toys your kids will love.

I always get a little lost in that aisle at Target which features remakes of all the toys from my childhood. Retro toys? You mean I'm actually old enough that they're remaking toys from my childhood? Does this mean I am officially an antique? Yikes.

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But while I come to terms with my age, it's great fun to rediscover old favorites that I know my kids will love. And it's also comforting to know that despite all our technological advances, some toys never go out of style or lose their charm.

Keep reading to see the toys BabyCenter thinks today's kids will love!

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Sara McGinnis about Beyoncé's baby's name.

Why would Beyoncé name her baby Blue Ivy?

After wondering what's behind the unique moniker for months, we now have a clue. Sit back, put on your scholarly hat, and read a literary passage shared by the first-time mom that seems to give new insight into baby Blue's name.

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Beyoncé, seen here making the most of what Blue Ivy gave her, posted the following passage to her personal Tumblr account Wednesday.

Click here to see the passage Beyoncé posted that may give some hints about Blue Ivy's name.

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from guest blogger Sommer Poquette, who was shocked to be told that her child was obese at a recent doctor's visit.

You've heard it a million times. Americans are getting fatter and fatter. And it's not just adults. It's the kids too. According to research from the Committee on Obesity Prevention Policies for Young Children, more than 20% of children between the ages of 2 and 5 are overweight or obese.

At a recent doctor appointment, we found out my daughter is borderline overweight and obese. This threw me for a loop. I mean . . . she's tall, but is she obese? I don't think so. But the body mass index scale paints another picture.

Related: The ins and outs of workplace safety during pregnancy

When I watched the HBO four-part documentary, The Weight of the Nation, my eyes stung with tears. The documentary features case studies, interviews with our nation's leading experts and individuals and their families struggling with obesity.

I learned that our children are going to have a shorter life expectancy than we do and face chronic diseases all because they're craving Big Macs and being fed processed food instead of fruits and vegetables. And instead of going outside to play, they are indoors playing video games and watching TV.

What scares me the most is that I thought we were living a healthy lifestyle. We eat fruits and vegetables every day and stay away from fast food and yet, here we are.

Click here to read the rest of Sommer's story and more about The Weight of the Nation.

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Carolyn Robertson about Tori Spelling's sexy swimsuit photo shoot.

Forget the mumus! Tori Spelling's spending her pregnancy in swimwear!

The reality star, who is expecting baby no. 4, rocked yet another sexy swimsuit while out with her husband, Dean McDermott, and their baby girl Hattie this past weekend.

Related: Do hugs make kids smarter?

The last time we saw Tori, she was showing off her growing belly in a red-hot two-piece. This time she opted for a daring black monokini. (Apparently, that's what this style of suit is called. Thanks, Google!)

Click here to see the picture of Tori Spelling's risque bathing suit and other expectant mamas who've rocked swimwear while pregnant.

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Joyce Slaton about girls' clothes.

Clothing manufacturers seem to divide girls' clothing into three ages: Infant (up to 1 year), Toddler (1 to 6 years — pretty old toddler at 6, huh?), and Junior Skank (first grade right up to college). As you can see, I'm not a fan. When my daughter was 2, 3, 5, I was able to select her clothing from a wide variety of affordable and age-appropriate choices. Sometimes it was a little hard finding something plain that wasn't encrusted with butterflies/fairies/legends reading, "Daddy's li'l princess." But with a little effort, I could find stuff that was cute and right for her.

Related: Confession — I think I want a minivan!

But these days, unless I'm willing to shell out for expensive stuff like Hanna Andersson and Naartije, I'm having trouble finding clothing that looks like it's made for actual little girls. OK, I was a 15-year-old once. I get the appeal of super-short shorts, which are just made for legs that haven't yet grown cellulite. I used to leave the house and roll my skirt up too.

Click here to read the rest of Joyce's post.

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Sara McGinnis about Hilary Duff's birth story.

While most birth stories are pages long, fraught with tales of pain and worry, Hilary Duff can sum up giving birth to son Luca in just two little, entirely enviable, words: "Very easy."

Speaking of the "amazing ride" she’s experienced becoming a mother, Hilary Duff said recently of giving birth, "It was very easy. I went into labor at about one in the morning and I very calmly had my bags packed and woke my husband up after about three hours of walking up and down my hallway. Then I'm like, 'Okay, it's time to go, let's go now.' We got in the car and drove to the hospital and that was it."

Click here to read more about Hilary Duff's thoughts on being a new mom.

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Source: Twitter User HilaryDuff

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Katherine Martin about phrases that should never be uttered to a pregnant woman.
Pregnancy is one of those times in life, similar to having a newborn, where almost everyone you meet will offer some kind of advice or have a comment. Most of it is very sweet and it can be life affirming to see how much others care. However, some of the questions or comments can be insulting, stupid and even infuriating.

Related: 10 Things New Parents Don't Need to Buy

Part of it is curiosity, I'm sure. But still, there are certain things that just get frustrating and annoying to be asked about or expected to talk about, especially with strangers or casual acquaintances.

So, my list, aided by a discussion by the July 2012 Birth Club of the top 7 things not to say to a pregnant woman:

7. "You're HUGE!!!" — Poor Jessica Simpson was a lesson to us all about how judgmental people can get about a pregnant woman's weight gain. Just leave this unsaid.
6. "You're TINY!!!" — The opposite of "you're huge!", but it can still be worrying to be told you look abnormally small when growing a human. Sometimes this comment is well intentioned, but most pregnant women just want to be told they look healthy.
5. "You're just upset because of hormones." — This should be self explanatory, but if someone is upset the last thing you should do is minimize their feelings and blame them on hormones. Sure, it may be true sometimes, but pointing out someone is hormonal almost never goes over well for anyone involved.
4. "Is your husband/boyfriend/fiancé the father?" — Definitely do not ask this. Enough said.
3. "Your boobs/butt are huge!!!" — Just because a woman is gestating a baby doesn't open up every body part for comment. I remember being mortified when someone pointed out my boobs were huge and an entire room of people's eyes immediately went there. No need.
2. "Should you be eating/drinking that?" — My Starbucks is decaf, thank you very much or it's part of my daily allowed caffeine. Let's just all take a break from being the pregnancy police.
1. "Was it planned?" — This is the top thing not to ask because do you seriously want the answer? Are you looking to talk about birth control? Do you want details of the woman's sex life? Let's just all agree this question is extraordinarily personal and probably never in good tact to ask.

Well that sure feels better to get this all out there. Phew!

What would you add to the list of things not to say to a pregnant woman? Or how did you respond to any of these questions or comments?

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Source: Flickr User molly_darling

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Betsy Shaw about kids and makeup.

Hope Perlman survived the moment of mothering girls I dread. In her post for NY Times' Motherlode, she relays the day her 13-year-old daughter begged to be allowed to wear makeup to a party.

After much soul searching – Perlman occasionally wears makeup herself – and lecturing, she said yes. She describes her rationale here:

"I wanted her to fit in, because I know fitting in is what middle school is about. But what, exactly, was she starting to fit into? The role of the teenager tortured by her failure to live up to a magazine picture? I'd been that teenager, with a picture of a model taped to my bedroom mirror. It wasn't what I wanted for my child."

So she acquiesced. But not before letting her know exactly what she thought about the message, so aggressively delivered by a male-dominated advertising industry, that girls and women need to paint themselves, cover their skin with lotions and potions, to be beautiful and feminine.

Related: Parents Can't Measure Out the Right Dose of Medications

"So that's how I allowed my daughter to start wearing makeup," Perlman says at the end of her essay, "I gave her permission — along with a large and cumbersome bag of guilt. The personal is political. Better remember that. Here's your mascara, honey. And your burden of awareness. Enjoy!"

I relate to Perlman’s story: When my daughter first sensed I had "issues" with makeup, she was about four years old. She asked me to get her a makeup kit, like the one her little friend Hanna got for being a flower girl, and I refused.

"Why not?" she pouted.

Instead of simply saying "because I said so," I treated her to a verbal tirade of stinging righteousness that came from an apparently conflicted place inside of me.

Keep reading for more of the story.

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Stacie Lewis about handling children's misbehavior.

When Cameron Adkins acted out at school for the 100th time, his parents had had enough. They’d tried everything, even boot camp, to correct his behavior. This time, they knew they would have to try something radical if they were going to get their point across, and they went to the extreme: public humiliation.

MyFOXDetroit reported on the fourth grader’s punishment on Thursday. After being sent home for talking back to his teacher, Cameron was sat, in his front yard, for the remainder of the day with a sign reading: "I don’t want to behave at school."

Related: Five Breastfeeding Pet Peeves

"This is more [boring] than school," Cameron said.

But will it improve his behavior? His parents hope so. But his sister had other ideas. "Probably not," she said.

As a teacher myself, I applaud Cameron’s parents. Time after time, I find that the children with the worst discipline issues are the ones where the parents at home dismiss the value of education or flout the rules of school. Cameron’s parents took a stand after weeks, perhaps even months, of trying other methods.

Is it extreme? Yes. But it is hardly abuse.

What do you think? Will public humiliation stop kids from misbehaving?

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Source: Flickr User cogdogblog

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Andrea Updike about toddlers using pacifiers.

I have a confession to make. My 3-year-old uses a pacifier when he sleeps. Also? I have no intention of taking it away.

We’ve all seen the pictures of Suri Cruise with her pacifier/bottle/high heels and made our judgments. We all think we will do things a certain way before we have kids. And we all find our own system that works that is somewhere between total control and total anarchy. Today? I am standing up for sleep. And for our family, that means the paci stays.

Related: What's Up With Big Babies?

My son sleeps. He sleeps well. He sleeps with a paci. Last year, we decided to drop the paci. We ceremoniously said good-bye, and he even (quite bravely) threw it in the garbage all by himself. That night he went right to sleep without a second thought. I was victorious. I was proud. I even blogged about it.

I was arrogant.

Not two days later, he stopped napping. Like, as in completely. He went from three-hour naps to nonstop chatter. I turned to Google to find out if he was ready to drop the nap. Post after post appeared saying that children dropped naps about the same time they dropped pacifiers. I knew the paci would be back.

Thankfully, I am really good at eating my words.

I marched myself right out to the store and purchased not one, but two new pacifiers. We named them "bedtime pacis" and told Oscar that they had to live in his bed. He gladly accepted those terms and is back to nice, long afternoon naps!

Of course, I worried that I would ruin his teeth forever, but my pediatrician gave me the OK, saying that he isn’t really sucking on it in his sleep, so it doesn’t cause the issues that might take place if he had it during waking hours. And that was all I needed to hear about that.

My name is Andrea Updyke, and I am proud of my pacifier-using 3-year-old.

When did your child drop the paci?

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Source: Flickr User KitchenDesigner

Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Kerala Taylor about bringing sexy back after baby.


Last week, when a coworker pointed at my shirt, I immediately started to panic. My first thought: My breasts are leaking. Or maybe I had missed a spit-up stain in my state of groggy semi-wakefulness this morning. Or worse yet, a big ol’ blob of dried poop.

Instead my coworker said, "You look nice in that shirt." Nice? That was the last thing I'd been expecting to hear. Every morning it's such a struggle to look halfway presentable, 'nice' isn’t even on the agenda.

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With a baby daughter who is nearing the five-month mark, I'm feeling much more 'mom' than 'woman' these days, and I'm hoping the two aren't forever mutually exclusive. But with my once ornamental breasts now serving a utilitarian role, and with fluids regularly oozing onto me from every hole on my baby's body, it's tough to make the transition to 'nice,' let alone sexy.

When my husband first broached the subject of intimacy after childbirth, I asked, "You mean, with me?" What's surprised me most about our romps in the bed is his ability to still feel attracted to me (though I've given him full permission to fantasize about someone else).

Even more bewildering was the recent catcall I got walking home from the metro. I turned to snatch a curious glance at the hot young girl I was sure must be walking behind me, only to find the sidewalk empty. Is there such a thing as catcall recall? Clearly, this man was sadly mistaken.

Actually, lots of people insist I look great — which is very sweet of them and I'll take the compliment, thank you very much — but on the 'repulsive' to 'sexy' scale, I always feel somewhere between 'barely passable' and 'halfway presentable' — even in heels and mascara.

And that's OK, for now, as long as it's not forever. I may never again sleep through the night, stay out past 11 p.m., or wear a bikini, but I would, eventually, like to get my mojo back.

How long did it take you to reclaim your sex appeal after childbirth? Any advice for the rest of us?

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Erin Lane about raising girls.

Last week I wrote about the five things that worry me about raising my son. This week I’m spilling my guts about what scares me about raising my daughter. There is definitely some overlap. Let's face it; parenting is scary whether you have a boy or a girl.

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With my daughter, I think I find it more worrisome because I know exactly what I did growing up…and I want her to just skip all that. Pretty please? In reality, I was a pretty good kid, but I drank in high school and that alone has me screaming oh no she won't.

So here it is…the top five things I worry about raising my daughter.

1. Body Image: First off, I want to point out that I know boys have body image issues too, but I do worry about it more with my daughter. Fake perfection permeates the media and I know how much she's going to be exposed to. I want her to love her body as it is and to not feel that it's too big or too small. I remember feeling fat in early high school and taking diet pills just to see what they would do. I don't want that for her. I want her to be comfortable in her own skin and will do my best to help her feel that way.
2. Puberty: Oh lawdy me! I read Are You There God, It's Me, Margaret in 4th grade so I know what's coming at me. The whole first menstruation, buying a bra, shaving her legs, needing deodorant, skin problems era is taunting me already and E. just turned one. I worry that it'll happen too early or too late. I worry about the hormones and the impending attitude. I worry about boys (or girls!) taunting her if it doesn't happen exactly along the lines of everyone else. I worry about the icky men who started cat calling me when I was in middle school. It all just plain frightens me. I don't know how my mom did it alone with two of us.
3. SEX!: Puberty inevitably leads to sex — learning about sex, talking about sex, thinking about sex and (god forbid) having sex. While I prefer to believe my daughter will stay chaste forever, I know that is simply not the case. I pray that my husband and I do a good job in teaching her self-respect and understanding the consequences of her actions. I pray she only encounters nice boys, who will respect what she wants and doesn't want. I pray that if she has questions and is ever unsure, that she feels safe enough to come and talk with me. I pray that whenever her first time comes, that it's on her terms and is based purely on love.
4. Mean Girls: Uggggg! This may be my top worry. I've been here. I think every woman alive can associate with being both a mean girl and having experienced a mean girl. I have certainly been both. I don't know why it happens, but it seems to be happening earlier and earlier. I thought mean girls started in middle school but a friend today actually said she's seen it with six-year-olds. A best friend suddenly doesn't like you anymore. You're ostracized from the school lunch table with no warning. A group of girls deems you unworthy. I hate that this is coming. I just want to wrap my arms around my sweet girl and tell her she will always be loved, she will always be beautiful no matter what anyone else says. I wish what I said was all that mattered, but we are quickly coming upon the days when that won't be true. I want her to stay sweet, to be friendly to everyone. I'm being unrealistic I know, but one can hope.
5. Peer Pressure: This one encompasses all of the above. No matter the situation my daughter finds herself in, I want her to be comfortable enough in her own skin to stand up for what she believes in. I want her to feel OK being the odd ball out (that's a tall order, I know!) I definitely caved to the pressure on a few occasions and know she will too. But I want her to know that most of her friends will be just as uncomfortable as she is..no matter the situation. And sometimes, it just takes one person to say "no thank you" to give the rest of the crowd permission to say the same. I hope I raise that child. If not, that's ok too. She'll live and learn, but I hope that I can give her that confidence in herself.

BabyCenter has some great tips for raising a confident girl. Check them out and tell me what worries you. We can commiserate together.

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Here's a post from our partners at BabyCenter! Every week, we bring you the best parenting and lifestyle stories from the experts at BabyCenter, including this post from Dr. Gwen Dewar about ideal places to live.

Where should I live? I've known this question was coming for a long time, but couldn't do anything about it. I spent the last 18 months fighting my mother's cancer. Now she's gone, our family is irrevocably changed, and I want to find a new place to live.

Part of me wants adventure. I am finally free. But I'm still a mother. My children's well-being comes before anything else.

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In an ideal world, I'd live next door to a parenting ally: A like-minded friend or relative who also has young children. The kids would play together. We would help each other in a crisis. We would watch out for each other's kids.

It sounds like utopia to some people. But it should be the norm. For most of human history, families lived in precisely this way.

People lived in small bands or villages. It wasn't perfect. There were personal conflicts and soap operas. But parents weren't isolated, and kids had more autonomy to play and explore.

Now I'm finding it difficult to recreate my own village. In the modern economy, my friends and family are dispersed all over the place. So I'm taking a step back, and thinking first about the locations themselves.

What are the most family-friendly places to live? Like everybody else, I want a place where the cost of living is low, the schools are good, the job market isn't terrible, good health care is available, and the neighborhoods are relatively safe.

I've also got these personal criteria:

• I'd like a university town, or at least a place where research is happening and science-minded people can be found.
• I want a little rugged natural beauty. If there are no hills or mountains of any kind, I may go bughouse. Ditto for trees. If the winters are cold, there had better be some evergreens, too.
• I want some ethnic diversity. It doesn't have to be a dazzling Mecca of international culture, and what really matters most is that people be open-minded. But I'd like there to be more than one important cultural influence in town.
• There should be wildlife. Of the non-human variety.
• I need a good public library.
• There must be places to walk, and I'd like to walk to school without getting hit by a car.
• Please let the gods arrange things so that school doesn't start before 8am. At this point, my family would regard an 8:30 starting time as heaven on earth.
• I want a natural science museum. A real natural science museum. With dinosaurs. Or at least some extinct mammals.

I know the last demand is iffy. There aren't many museums like that world-wide. But bizarre as it may seem, I pine for a museum. It doesn't have to be next door. I'd probably settle for two hours away. And if there were a really good zoo nearby – or wildlife park – or aquarium — I might be able to make do.

So help me out, please. Does any place fit the bill? Have you struggled with your own criteria? And have you succeeded in finding your own, family-friendly place to live?

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