Is It Your Pediatrician's Place to Monitor Manners?

January 15, 2009

Teaching a child manners is the parent's responsibility, but is it appropriate for a pediatrician to track that development? Though we rely on our kid's doctor for advice on physical ailments from sore throats to earaches, are we comfortable getting their feedback on our tot's etiquette?

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13 Comments

radmama27 4 years 18 weeks

I think no at first; however, there is a great need for more manners in this world, so maybe that would be encouraging to parents if it was being tracked.

Jude C 4 years 18 weeks

Some parents seem to need that extra feedback, and maybe if it comes from their pediatrician they'll take it seriously.

MaggieLei 4 years 18 weeks

I respect our pediatrician as a professional. If he said something to me about my children's manners, I would take it seriously. However, I don't think he needs to be tracking "Pleases" and "Thank you's" on a growth chart. It sounds like the child being discusses in the article had some serious issues. (Well - the parents did and were passing them on to their child.) The doctor needed to be honest with the mother. Part of being ready for kindergarten (and life) is knowing not to scream when one doesn't get his way.

mstrauss 4 years 18 weeks

I think that if more doctors got involved with child manners, maybe some parents would actually learn a few things. Even while I sit and wait to see the doctor with my son, there are times when I am shocked by the behavior of some of the kids around me. I even think the nurses in the waiting area should be allowed to say something if I child is doing something wrong and the parents are ignoring it!

mstrauss 4 years 18 weeks

skigurl 4 years 18 weeks

if a parent isn't teaching their child proper manners then it is the duty of many people to help do so and say something...grandparents, friends, teachers, and doctors...there is absolutely no excuse for bad manners

ladyr 4 years 18 weeks

I guess it could be appropriate if a developmental disability is suspected. Otherwise, it is probably better to refer to teachers since they see the child all the time and are able to observe them in a greater variety of situations.

Shannikan 4 years 18 weeks

YES! sometimes someone needs to tell the parents that their children have no manners. Some people don't know better. They have no manners or social etiquette. As someone who was taught standards by Mrs. manners i can honestly say we have and are becoming a manner-less rude society. our children hit us, scream at us, run around like monkeys in a zoo, and we ALLOW IT! Someone who we trust like a doctor is a great place to get help and advice like so.

Shannikan 4 years 18 weeks

kmckay 4 years 18 weeks

i think that, like lickety, social appropriateness falls into that category and therefore is relevant. autism and aspergers (to name 2) are conditions that are often marked with social miscues and "red flags".

lickety split 4 years 18 weeks

social appropriateness involves manners, so i guess it's part of their job. if a child has no theory of mind (can't put themself in another person's place) by age 10 that would be a red flag. maturity is part of development too. it's kind of a fine line though and i would be insulted if i felt the doc overstepped.

vmruby 4 years 18 weeks

In a word....No

vmruby 4 years 18 weeks

In a word....No

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