Are You Still a Child Until Your Parents Pass?

June 7, 2009

Some people believe that they never really grow up until their parents die. Even as adults raising their own offspring, they can seek advice in mom or dad. But, it is in their absence that they need to become independent of those ties. Do you find this to be true?

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8 Comments

queenegg 3 years 50 weeks

I was raised by my Grandparents because my parents were just 17and 18 when I was born. My Dad treats me as a grown up and has since I was 13 and moved in with he and my first step-mom. My Grands treat me like a child and it bothers the crap out of me because I do consider myself an adult. When I was hurt and couldn't drive, they helped me out, but questioned my every action. I'm almost 30 at this point, let me grow up already.

3 years 50 weeks

I think you are always a child, same as you're always a parents after you've had children, even if you've lost them. Whether you're grown to adulthood or not, there will always be someone else that brought you into this world, your parents, and you will always be their child.

Happsmjc 3 years 50 weeks

Absolutely yes--my mother said it best when her mom passed away when I was younger (her dad had died when she was in her 20's). She said you feel like an orphan when both of your parents are gone. And for that reason alone, you are always their CHILD and always have someone to turn to until they are gone. Regardless of how independent you are in your own life, you are still someone's child. I am totally independent, but still call my parents for little questions/things because I CAN! I never want that to change!

Chouette4u 3 years 50 weeks

I think this really depends on the person or the family involved.

Budderflie 3 years 50 weeks

My mother died when I was 12 leaving me, my 8 yr old brother and a very confused father alone. My dad worked a lot and was never home so I basically grew up at 12 making me a very strong and independent person. My husband and I live in OH while our families live in NY. Where when we go home, im seen as the adult in my family he is still seen as the 16 yr old in his (even though hes 28) but he puts his foot down. Different circumstances make for different experiences Ive found out. When we come back to our lives in OH we are both adults that are expecting our first little one and no one has any say. After 9 years of marriage and living away from family you just fall into your own thing. I like it this way actually. If I want advice, I google it. LOL

isabelle315 3 years 50 weeks

I mean "the last big phase of growing up."

isabelle315 3 years 50 weeks

Although I'm nearing 30, I will definitely be a child, in some ways anyway, as long as my parents are still here. I am very independent, but I seek out and have a lot respect for my parents' opinion/advice and I know that they are always there if I need support. I will be OK when they die, but it will definitely leave a huge hole, and life will feel much different. Not having them to turn to anymore will probably be the big phase of "growing up."

Advah 3 years 50 weeks

I'm lucky to still have both my parents so I can't really talk from experience, but I don't know if this is necessarily true. I think there are various moments in life that make you grow up/mature/become older or however you want to call that: first job, first heartbreak, and yes most probably loss of a parent. (or at least that's how it worked for me) It's weird but for a long time I thought that past 16-18, losing a parent is something you somehow deal with. Then I was 20, a friend of mine lost her dad to cancer, and I realised no one probably ever completely recovers from this, no matter how old they are. :(

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