Would You Have a Child Out of Wedlock?

April 9, 2009

In generations past, expectant women might have made a mad dash to the altar, but times have changed so much so that rates of babes born out of the commitment of marriage are at a record high. One report said:

Nearly 40 percent of babies born in the United States in 2007 were delivered by unwed mothers, according to data released last month by the National Center for Health Statistics. The 1.7 million out-of-wedlock births, of 4.3 million total births, marked a more than 25 percent jump from five years before.

What's your opinion?

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20 Comments

RenSis 4 years 6 weeks

I had my daughter out of wedlock and her daddy and I are still going strong, out of wedlock. Now that being said... I would have loved to had been married before I had her for the simple fact that for the first half of my pregnancy I was very jealous of my unborn daughter and completely miserable because her daddy was so much more about her than he was me. I believe that had we been married and I had the assurance that he was in love with me first and then consumed by the love for his daughter, I would have enjoyed my pregnancy more than I did. I didn't know if he loved me for me or for having his daughter. That was an emotional struggle for me. But things have worked out very well, and I believe that we are a stronger couple because of the way thing happened between us! I would love to share my daughter's last name some day but for the right reasons!

shannonkay 4 years 6 weeks

I wouldn't want to be a single mom if I could help it, obviously if something happened like my husband died or left me, I would do what I needed to, but I guess that isn't "out of wedlock" is it? But doesn't anyone wait till they're married to have sex anymore?

FrankiLee 4 years 6 weeks

I am really happy to see that most people say it doesn't matter. I don't think being married automatically makes a couple good parents. My boyfriend and I suddenly got pregnant, but we are extremely happy, and very dedicated parents. I sometimes still get asked when we're getting married or if we are married, and get some interesting responses when I tell them we're not married and we won't be for a while. If the couple are loving, dedicated parents, then what does it matter?

CaterpillarGirl 4 years 6 weeks

that statistic is sad.

vmruby 4 years 6 weeks

Yes I would.... being a mother is the absolute greatest joy in my life and I could not imagine myself ever passing up on that amazing experience just because I wasn't married.

lilmama99 4 years 6 weeks

I wasn't married when I had my 1st daughter, who is now 5 years old. My now husband and I were together 4 years before conceiving, which was a miracle since I was never supposed to have children. We were married 2 years later and our daughter was the most beautiful flower girl ever. Married for almost 3 years and expecting miracle baby #2. It doesn't matter if you're married or not. Times have changed!

ladyr 4 years 6 weeks

I would not get married if I wasn't ready simply because I was pregnant, but I would prefer to be married before I started planning a family.

jessy777 4 years 6 weeks

I can not stand the term "wedlock" just as much as I can't stand "premarital sex". These are antiquated terms that are meant to shame a person for decisions they make with their life by labeling their actions. Marriage isn't necessary for either activity. It also doesn't dictate who your child will become. To each their own. And I agree, I would rather be an "unwed" mother than not one at all.

new 4 years 6 weeks

i totally agree with Sarana. there's no need to get married anymore

simbaspaws 4 years 6 weeks

I personally would not like to have a baby being unmarried and I no longer will. I am not that traditional and people have to know whats right for them its is just odd to mo how some of my friends argued, when I told them I was getting married, that they could def see themselves having a baby but not getting married, bc of committment. To me having a child is THE biggest committment...It just does not make sense to me.

lickety split 4 years 6 weeks

i would rather be an unwed mom than never be a mom. i told myself that if i got to my late 30's and wasn't married i'd have at least one child alone. as it turned, out i was married with kids before i needed to worry about that. seems really unfair that you either get everything (marriage and kids) or nothing (no partner and no mommy moments).

quivondra 4 years 6 weeks

My neighbor and I both got "suddenly" pregnant. She got married, I didn't. I've been with my partner for 10 yrs, she's been with hers for 5 or so? We both just did our taxes. I got 2k back... they owe 10k+. Needless to say, for money reasons alone it doesn't seem like a good idea. I'd rather stock away that extra cash towards a college fund.

kia 4 years 6 weeks

All of my siblings have had their first child out of wedlock. Being married before having a child and having it with my husband has been a goal for mine since it is so out of the ordinary in my family. Children out of wedlock is cool for other people, I am sure they handle it just fine, it is just something I have never wanted to do.

LuvLeoDiCaprio 4 years 6 weeks

Well it is the year 2009 and honestly marriage doesn't solve everything nor does it equal a more stronger commitment if anything it just means you are stuck and it's harder to get out. However I guess it just depends on the indiviual couple and how strong they are, I am definitely opposed to getting married just because you get pregnant especially if you are not married. However I don't judge so more power to ya!

4 years 6 weeks

I have a baby out of 'Wedlock' ( and really? We're still using the term wedlock?) My sweetie and I have been together for 12 years and our one year old son didn't 'happen', he was planned, hoped for and rejoiced over. For me commitment has NOTHING to do with marriage. Don't, get me wrong, I don't hate or disrespect the institution of marriage, (in fact I think that ALL marriages should be recognised, good job Vermont) I just know it's not for me.

msgolitelee 4 years 6 weeks

I think each couple needs to define what works for them. Every woman needs to make that choice. I'm 33, and if I got pregnant now, I would have my child because at this age how could I not just because I am waiting for a ring. BUT I think raising a child is unlike anything you will ever do, and I don't know that I would be happy doing it alone. But marriage doesn't guarantee I won't be a single parent at some point.

Sarana 4 years 6 weeks

I would and not because "babies happen". I just think marriage isn't needed at all. We all know people divorce easily so marriage does not equal commitment.

bluepuppybites 4 years 6 weeks

We got pregnant with our first early into our relationship (3 months), my boyfriend, now husband, wanted to get to the courthouse right away. I said no babies change people, hopefully for the better but I'm not going to have a divorce on top of being a single mom if we don't work out. We did work out and are expecting our 2nd.

4 years 6 weeks

I became a mom before I was married, my fiance and I had been together for 5 years. He wanted to get married before our daughter was born but I said whats the point? both of our parents weren't married when we were born. It happens, it doesn't make us any less of a parent if we're not husband and wife.

skigurl 4 years 6 weeks

if i accidentally get pregnant, oh well, shit happens, but IDEALLY i'd be married before i become a mom

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