Which Last Name Should a Lil One Have?

June 18, 2008

Traditionally, a woman took her husband's surname and their offspring followed suit. But, these days all different combinations of people make up families and that is reflected in the variety of options that parents have when choosing their child's last name. Gavin Rossdale and Gwen Stefani went old school when they named their son. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie combined their monikers with a hyphen for their mini mes. And, Bridget Moynahan gave her babe middle names for his father, Tom Brady, but made him a Moynahan.
Source and Bauer-Griffin

29 Comments

abqmama 4 years 48 weeks

I do agree, though, that if the mother is the one raising the baby and the father is out of the picture then the baby should get the mothers last name.

abqmama 4 years 48 weeks

We weren't married when our first son was born and when we adopted our second son and they both got my husbands last name. We have since gotten married and I took my husbands name. I was always being made fun of for my maiden name, so I wasn't really upset to lose it since my married name is much better and I never even considered giving the children my maiden name. I have never liked hyphenated names, they are really difficult to deal with. I think you should pick one name and stick to it, if you want to honor the other parent then you can use it as the childs middle name.

latinav 4 years 48 weeks

I am not married, therefore my son has my last name. If/When I marry my son's father I would then change my sons last name.

Mishell 4 years 48 weeks

There is no "should" in cases like this. It all depends... on what the mom whants to do, especially if she is not married to the dad.

ohjeeze 4 years 48 weeks

"my husband wanted to do it for my dad, because he won't have any grandchildren with his name otherwise" That is so sweet macneil. I thought about hyphenating but what happens when the kid gets married let's say Maddox gets married and his wife wants to hyphenate it will be for example Alice Jolie-Pitt-Lewis it will probably be the same for the children. I just seems like too many hyphens for me. Though I do like what Brad and Angie did especially since they are not married. I also like that Gwen kept her own name but gave Kingston Gavins name.

ohjeeze 4 years 48 weeks

"my husband wanted to do it for my dad, because he won't have any grandchildren with his name otherwise" That is so sweet macneil.I thought about hyphenating but what happens when the kid gets married let's say Maddox gets married and his wife wants to hyphenate it will be for example Alice Jolie-Pitt-Lewis it will probably be the same for the children. I just seems like too many hyphens for me. Though I do like what Brad and Angie did especially since they are not married. I also like that Gwen kept her own name but gave Kingston Gavins name.

Greggie 4 years 48 weeks

I agree with jennifer, there is no "should." It's all personal preference. I chose to take my husband's last name, and our kids have that same last name. But if a woman keeps her maiden name or isn't married to the father, I don't think it's fair to her to say she "should" give the kids the father's last name. She should have input too.

sfprgirl 4 years 48 weeks

I think it really depends on the situation. I've also heard of couples combining their names to make a whole new name, and also one friend who, with her husband, chose a new surname entirely after they got married. They have since bestowed it upon their children. Whatever is most pleasing for those involved and that doesn't cause the child too much harm.

sfprgirl 4 years 48 weeks

I think it really depends on the situation.I've also heard of couples combining their names to make a whole new name, and also one friend who, with her husband, chose a new surname entirely after they got married. They have since bestowed it upon their children.Whatever is most pleasing for those involved and that doesn't cause the child too much harm.

ShePirate2010 4 years 48 weeks

any man that is barely a father, isnt a father at all it is a full time 'job' and its sad he left Bridget to be with sum other sleazy model

ShePirate2010 4 years 48 weeks

if it is the mother alone, def. her last name!!!!!! tom brady may be a real man on the football field but a REAL man he most certainly is not! jack-butt.

macneil 4 years 48 weeks

I didn't take my husband's name, and my daughter has my name. I think it's a nicer name, and my husband wanted to do it for my dad, because he won't have any grandchildren with his name otherwise, but I did it for sort of feministy reasons too. My in-laws were very upset, but it follows that if they think she should have had their name, then they would be expect her to give it up at 25 or whatever when she got married. She has my husband's name as her middle name. Anyway, I'm pregnant again and fair's fair, says my husband, this one has his name. I don't mind my kids having different names, but I do think my name is better, and I think it's unfair that one gets the advantage of my pretty name and one has his impossible to pronounce name. If it's a boy, it's easy, then we'll just say boys get his name, girls get mine, and his name looks better with the boy's name we want. If it's a girl, I'm not so sure. I hope this doesn't sound selfish - I think it does, actually! - but it's wrong, I suppose, that women should feel selfish for trying to have a situation that most men believe is naturally their way around.

macneil 4 years 48 weeks

albeli 4 years 48 weeks

I'm not going to tell people what I think they should do. What's right for me and my kids isn't neccesarily right for everyone else.

Leene 4 years 48 weeks

In Finland it is very rare that children born to married couple would have the mother's name. I don't think I know anybody with her/his mother's name. Kids with single-moms sometimes have their mothers name.I personally find my own last name so nice that if/when I will get married I will use it together with my husband's name, I will have something from my past as well as something with my husband. The kids would probably get the father's name. It is shame that in here it is not traditional to use mother's maiden names as children's middle names. Kids can also only have one name, not combined like the Jolie-Pitts.

Leene 4 years 48 weeks

In Finland it is very rare that children born to married couple would have the mother's name. I don't think I know anybody with her/his mother's name. Kids with single-moms sometimes have their mothers name. I personally find my own last name so nice that if/when I will get married I will use it together with my husband's name, I will have something from my past as well as something with my husband. The kids would probably get the father's name. It is shame that in here it is not traditional to use mother's maiden names as children's middle names. Kids can also only have one name, not combined like the Jolie-Pitts.

AKirstin 4 years 48 weeks

I never took my husband's last name, because I like my own too much. I like that it reflects my heritage, which is important to me. Taking his name was something I never even considered. We *did* consider taking a whole new name though, something new for both of us. It seems like the fairest thing, in terms of anyone making a change. For us it boiled down to pointless paperwork, so we never did it. When our daughter was born, she got her Dad's name simply because it sounded best with her first name.

uptown_girl 4 years 48 weeks

My male cousin isn't a "dead beat dad", but he did struggle with some MAAAAJOR drug issues around the time his daughter was born. He was 18 and she was only 16, and before their lil one was born they also stopped being a couple. Her parents didn't want to let him or my aunt see the baby. Now things have calmed down a little and my cousin no longer does drugs. My aunt and her mother (my grandmother) are very involved in the child's life, as is my cousin. But it still kind of saddens me that the baby doesn't have his last name. I know he wasn't the best dad in the world, be he is trying, and he supports her financially, and loves her a lot. He takes care of her when the mother lets him. I just wonder what will happen one day when she asks why she doesn't have the same last name as her daddy.

RosaDilia 4 years 48 weeks

My son has my last name. Two of my sisters decided to hyphenate their kids last names. One of them is 16 letters long!!!

jennifer76 4 years 48 weeks

I don't think there's a "should". Whatever works for your family. I took my husband's name and so did my kids.My mom never took my dad's last name and my brother and I share her maiden name as our middle names.

jennifer76 4 years 48 weeks

I don't think there's a "should". Whatever works for your family. I took my husband's name and so did my kids. My mom never took my dad's last name and my brother and I share her maiden name as our middle names.

Frank y Ava 4 years 48 weeks

If they parents are married yes it should have the father's last name. The Jolie-Pitts are different because Maddox and Zahara were her kids first so combining the names would be better. The Brady-Monynahan situation is unusual. Since she primarily takes care of him I think its fine that the boy has her last name. But I do prefer the traditionally way.

apma 4 years 48 weeks

I never even considered giving my little one my last name. My last name is still that of my own dead beat father and my lo has a great father. But that's simply my situation.

controlledspin 4 years 48 weeks

I think it all depends on the situation. I still find it odd when the baby has the mother's last name, but I think that is just because it is just now becoming more and more acceptable. But to each their own :)

radmama27 4 years 48 weeks

I love the traditional way. Unless the father is a dead beat day, and/or the parents have no future together. Then its definitely easier for the mother and child to have the same last name, because usually the child will spend more time with the mother, and she will be responsible for them, and having the same last name is 'easier'

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