The heir and the spare. That saying always made me feel sorry for Prince Harry, now it makes me pity those who said it. In similar sentiment, strangers have referred to my newborn as a bonus baby. Since I already had a daughter and a son, they assume my lil guy is the extra kid that we didn't really need, but had anyways. It's not the case, but when it comes to having kids — it's impossible to keep the public happy. When you have a girl, they ask when you're trying for a boy and vice versa. If parents have two same sex children, they are expected to try for the opposite. When a mom has more than two she's suddenly a breeder, and the family's carbon footprint is discussed when baby number five arrives. No one can win — even women without children are hounded about why they aren't reproducing. So let's vent, what is your biggest qualm?