Yeah, I might be crabby this morning but I agree with your friend somewhat. How about "we're going to be parents!" I know however, that lots of women probably would like it if their husband took that much interest in the pregnancy, going to appointments, etc.

i agree i hate that statement, when i found out i was pregnant that was my boyfriend's first request he said please don't ever say we are pregnant i hate that statement just say "we are going to be parents"

I think people can be too sensitive.
The guy was excited and technically if he is being a supportive father - he is going through the pregnancy as well.

Who cares how he said it - just be happy for the couple!

HATE HATE HATE it. It's one of those expressions I just loathe for some reason (second only to the "putting the baby down" phrase--don't get me started on the one). Ugh. Fortunately, my husband agrees and would never say it. "We are expecting a baby" would suffice just fine.

Doesn't bother me, who cares how he says it at least he is happy about it.

WE are not pregnant.......We're going to be parents is good. We're having a baby, also a little iffy.... My SO NEVER would have said we're pregnant solely out of fear for his head being removed from his body.

He knows the deal.

its takes alot for a man to be this involved and to state that we are pregnant i always find it cute, its like he is going through it with the wife, just me

I have always hated that expression. I like "we're expecting" because technically, we are both expecting to be parents at the end of 40 weeks.

eh, I never focused on it that much. I can't say I've heard a guy say it like that before. For him to put it that way, he must be very excited and into it which is very sweet. I can see how it can sound strange, but each couple feels differently and goes through the pregnancy in their own way.

I think it is okay... though I also prefer "we're expecting." I am also okay with "we're going to have a baby," because even though he is not physically giving birth, he is going to have a baby at the end of it!

sofi that is exactly the way i was trying to word it

It's a husband excited to have a child. I can't believe people get so upset about it

Well, there are lifestyle changes on both sides. Though the man may not be having hormone changes, he is experiencing this change as much as the woman. Actually researchers have given men 3 different types of ways they experience pregnancy so, I believe it is fine to say We.

We use it, so I obviously have no problem with it. We both go through many changes during pregnancy, I think my husband has a right to be included.

Also, I think the woman in this story needs to get a grip. If a pregnant woman has a problem with her husband using the phrase, then it should be addressed.

If I'm fine with my husband using it, and actually prefer he does, then other women have no basis griping about it. Going into a ten-minute tirade over it is serious overkill.

I don't see the big deal in saying "we". Sure, I'm the one growing a kid in my body, but my husband has to deal with a lot of crap- my mood swings, seeing my struggle with sickness and not being able to help, doctor's appointments, his own excitement and fear of becoming a parent... There's a lot going on for the guys, too.

I might be the one who grows a child, but it's still something we're doing together.

I say it about my hubby and I. I'll interchangeably use "we're expecting", "we're pregnant" or "we're going to be parents". It really depends on whom I'm talking to.

My husband takes a very active role in the pregnancy, and I value his contributions and commitment. It's a process we are both experiencing. While he may not technically carrying the baby, he's equally the reason I'm in the state I am. LOL. And, I don't mind reminding him when I'm sick as a dog.

In part, I find it somewhat selfish to find it so offensive that a man uses the term. Men don't genetically have the ability to experience the actual joys of a pregnancy themselves - they can't feel the first butterfly kisses of movement in their abdomen; they don't get the sensation of the baby moving, they don't have the ability to bond with the fetus like a woman does. So, any excitement and personalization of the partner is something to be celebrated in my book. But, I will acknowledge that I experience a lot more support and involvement from my husband than most of my friends when they're expecting. So, that may be a source of the offense.

Can't stand it! With the morning sickness, the pain, the hemorrhoids, the stomach never full, bladder never empty - it would feel like my husband was taking credit in all the work I'm doing.

We're expecting, but only I am pregnant.

Sure, I was the one hugging the toilet, but my husband was the one cleaning up when I missed, giving massages, picking up takeout, moving furniture, helping me study up on labor practice, taking all the belly shots, putting up with me shopping for maternity clothes and baby clothes and eventually rubbing my back for six hours while I was in labor. (I wasn't the only one sore afterwards.) Pregnancy at its most ideal is a joint effort. No, they're technically not both pregnant and the terminology bugs me a little too, but I am all for every effort to include the husband in the process as much as possible. A pregnant woman needs all the support she can get!

I just wanted to add, that I do not take offense to it when OTHER people say it. I do think it's a bit silly though.

I took pregnancy/delivery like a champ and I wasn't high maintenance pregnant woman. I never would take the offer of help from anyone including my SO and that's why he would have never used the phrase....we.

"We" were pregnant. I had absolutely no morning sickness, felt great - just had butterflies all the time from excitement and terror. He on the other hand was sick for two months every morning and gained more weight than I did. Even now that my daughter is seven months he plays more of a role than I ever expected him too. His parents are from the old school - where the mother took care of the children while the man worked, so the dad never took part in their child's care until they are old enough to coach little league or play basketball. I on the other hand was raised by a single father who made every decision and played a very important part of every stage of my life. So I wasn't sure what to expect from my husband. By including him in the pregnancy every opportunity I had, it made him feel like he was as integral as I was, and now he takes interest in every aspect of our daughter.

I don't have kids, but I expect that when I do I wouldn't mind my (future) husband saying "we're pregnant." I think it promotes a sense of togetherness and support for the woman, so she doesn't feel like she's the only one in the relationship putting forth the enormous task of bearing their child. My friends and brother/sister in-laws used this term and I thought it was great! Then again, I haven't been pregnant and have no idea how I'll feel or how any of you have felt during your pregnancies.

I like the "we are pregnant", to me it's modern. And even though the guy is not carrying the child, he's just as apart of it as she is IMO. I haven't been pregnant yet, but I wouldn't mind if my husband said it at all.

I think it's fine. My husband gained weight as well when I was expecting. lol But he also did more chores, more cooking, more catering to my needs, became a mind-reader, so yeah, he put a great amount of work during my/our pregnancy.

are you guys serious??!

i thought this was going to be about whether it's obnoxious or not for parents to announce to the world that they're pregnant...

reading that it's about whether or not the husband should say "we're" is just annoying, and literally the last thing i would have thought would be an issue here... it's like news flash, it takes 2 to make a baby?! why is that so hard? and why are people so negative.. the husband was excited and being supportive, and then he walks off and the woman goes on and on with the typical i have to carry it, and push it out of me rant.. it's not his fault the woman has to carry it, why should he get slammed constantly for it..

i have noticed recently how negative pregnant women are, why not just be excited and not over analyze everything?

sorry, i just am really over the entitlement thing..

You know phat, very often I find myself loving you.

you said it well preach on phate

@ phatE

only the woman is pregnant, but both parents are "expecting a baby". I would say "I am pregnant!" OR "We are expecting a baby". There is no "we" are pregnant as far as I am concerned.

I've never heard a guy say, "We're pregnant", but some people get really excited when they're telling the news to people. I don't care what people say. As long as they're happy about being good parents for their child(ren).

I thought years ago women were trying to get their men to say "We're pregnant". Now it's back to "I'm pregnant" only? Like the husbands are infringing on the women getting all the credit for going through the difficulties. I think most people understand that the woman carries it and pushes it out.

I wouldn't care how it was phrased and I would be glad that the husband was taking part, whether it was my husband or someone else's husband/partner.

I agree with Phat as well... but something someone mentioned above got me giggling "we've got hemorrhoids!!"

aw yay! i thought i was going to get slammed for saying that!

Some of you women are unbelievable. Who cares if a guy says, "he's pregnant." If there's one thing I can't stand, it's women who try to marginalize a father's role and then b*tch about deadbeat dads or not having enough help around the house. Some of you even go so far as to say you'd behead your husbands for saying this. I guess if he makes the money, you can't say "our money" or "our house" since he bought it. Equal rights is a two-way street and some of you backwards types needs to get with the 21st century.

wow the wozzy

There was a guy that was pregnant. They just showed pics of the baby.

I think it sounds a little cheesy and, to be honest, if he said it while I was actually in labour, he probably WOULD get his head ripped off. But I'd one hundred times rather have a husband who went around laying equal claim to the pregnancy than one who didn't give a damn about his unborn child or suggested that "we" get a termination instead.

Ha ha, I LOVE it, and always use it. It doesn't stop me whining constantly about being pregnant and telling him he does nothing and has no idea. It's just that it basically means the same as having a baby (the man isn't 'having' the baby either) and my god, modern men completely have to share in child care these days (my husband does, anyway) so the hardship of pregnancy will eventually be less a part of the whole child experience. Anyway, really, there are worse things to be upset about than a misplaced or casually used pronoun.

i'm with many of you- especially phat e . i thought the same thing when i read the beginning of this post!
WE have been trying to get pregnant for well over a year, with no luck so i would imagine that when the time comes to announce OUR pregnancy to people, i wouldn't care if my husband went around saying he was pregnant!

macneil, you said it perfect, there are PLENTY of other things to worry about before the misuse of a pronoun.. the thing that irked me most about this article was the woman's attitude.. her husband came up and talked to her friends, asked if they had heard, were obviously excited, and then he walked off and the wife made some smart ass response.. i don't understand the disrespect, if the tables were turned, and the husband commented like that on his wife, the wife would be ticked off.. i don't get the 2 sides to the issue, they both made the baby, and they both have a significant part in the babies life.. for the people who think the process of being pregnant and having the child are the only things to consider, then those to me seem like the ones who were more in it for the wedding than the marriage.. either way, there is nothing i hate more than women who put their husbands down and belittle them in front of others, it's disgusting and just wrong.. especially when the husband is trying to be supportive, and excited, etc. it's not his fault he can't "have" the baby so don't treat him like it.. and to the person who commented on the "man" that had the baby, it's a former WOMAN, so really it's just a load of crap.

phatE, the way I read it, it was somebody else's husband, not the husband of babysugar's friend. I don't think the woman was railing on her own husband, just venting about an expression she doesn't like. Either way, though, it does seem like a bit of an overreaction.

Not only did she make a smart-ass comment, which I'd understand, she went on for TEN MINUTES about what an awful person he was for using it.

I totally get a rolling of the eyes and "Ugh, I hate that phrase." I do that when someone says "the twins" or "the girls" for breasts, for instance, or when someone refers to my daughter as "the girl" or "that baby." But I don't go on for ten minutes about it.

i did not have an easy pregnancy, but i dare say the pregnancy was harder on him than it was on me. he had to stand by helpless when things went wrong, when i was upset but couldn't articulate what i needed or how to make it better. by no means were our experiences the same, but we certainly both experienced "being pregnant."

now, giving birth? that's a whole 'nother issue

i don't agree with the phrase,....it's just wrong! He is not pregnant! That's all there is to it...he can offer support but he's not pregnant.

it bothers me and really got me thinking when a couple a weeks ago a female friend called me and said " we gave birth yesterday!"....i was like...." Really your husband pushed the baby out?" he carried it to term? how clever of him.

my husband gave me excellent support while pregnant etc....but he was never pregnant himself and never said so....

I'm fine with the saying; he sounds involved and excited about the pregnany, I wouldn't nit-pick which phrase he uses to announce it. So he says "We're pregnant" while the saying is only half true, if he is that exicted let him say it. Doesn't harm anything.

TheWozzy, you said it perfect. Too many times guys are slammed for being deadbeats, but yet when a father is excited and wants to have a part he's considered cheesy? I think the phrase is absolutely adorable, and I love when my husband says it. Much better than "yeah, the b*tch is knocked up*

Yeah, the husband/man may not actually carry the baby, but you tell him that he's not part of this pregnancy equation when he's running out to Taco Bell at 2am for soft tacos, running to publix to get a pack of cupcakes, or catchings the wrath of my hormones.

We gave birth together as well.

I just don't get how people don't see having a child as a "team" thing.. It's sad they look at the whole experience as about them, and their needs only.. Like I said, it takes 2 to make a baby for a reason.. I think the mentality that the dad really has nothing to do with it is incredibly self focused, and it's honestly grossing me out how much of that I see in people going through this phase of life..
I really agree with whomever said that it's ridiculous for women to go off on men for being dead beat dads, when they've spent the entire time saying it's not their pregnancy, or experience..It's proven that men have a harder time bonding because they aren't carrying the baby, and so I think for the sake of the child and ya'lls happiness it's in the mother's best interest to involve the dad as much as possible and make it a team.. Instead of reminding him he's not carrying it, pushing it out, etc.. Consider the mental and emotional side of things too.. I am willing to bet money that those who try will benefit from it. Marriage is about 2 becoming one, and having a child is a part of that..

Very well put, phatE. You can't just focus on the physical but there is the emotional aspect of pregnancy. I've never met a hubby who went through THEIR pregnancy a zombie and completely out of touch with what was happening- to both of them.

When my hubby and I finally conceive I'll happily share the "we're pregnant" news with him if he wants to share it that way.