I believe that children need the structure provided in a classroom setting. "Unschooling" means that he will only be learning what he wants to learn. Reading a book about sharks is a fantastic way to gain knowledge, but I seriously doubt his "natural hunger for knowledge" will extend to math problems and grammar. As unpleasant, stifling and "un-fun" as those aspects of school can be, they are vital foundations to a successful high school and college career, as well as the child's adult life.

Keeping him out of school and educating him by dropping him off an art museum teaches him a few facts about art and that he doesn't have to do anything that isn't fun for him.

I agree with HeidiMD, particularly about the structure part. Children need that. Plus, school helps them develop necessary social skills that will take them through the rest of their lives.

Both my kids are "unschooled". My son is already finished, but my daughter is still (technically) homeschooled. However, I refused to do it through the state. My kids were registered through a private school with a homeschool option.They are both VORACIOUS readers and LOVE learning. And when you think about it, most things you learn have multiple aspects involved... learning about sharks, for example, includes history, science, math, geography... I could go on but I'm sure you get the point!!! Unschooling is not "no structure whatsoever", it just means they don't have a set curriculum forced down their throats, which makes learning enjoyable and fun.

Up until recently, I always thought of home-schooled kids as a bit strange... maybe too adult and not really having experienced adolescence. These days, especially living in New York, I may consider it for my own child. There are enough parents in the area that can't afford private school and would be willing to create a program to unschool or home-school the kids. This way, they still have the peer interaction and a variety of adults they need to respect and learn from, a the while in a structured environment.

I think it's crucial for children to be in a structured environment. I also think that each child is very different. Some can teach themselves and others need to be in a group setting and feed off of others to learn. It seems there are tons of pros and cons for school and for homeschooling... but I do think that although you need to address the needs of a child, it's also your responsibility to guide them. Allowing a child to learn whatever they want (unless they're absolute geniuses) could produce an insufferable adult. And the whole end goal of education (beyond just enlightenment) is that our child becomes a happy member of society... whether it's alone in a lab or working with loads of people.

he'll only learn as much as his parents know. or if he goes to musuem classes the same thing. even with homeschooling they have different groups, where they go to a different house at time. because one of the parents is more skilled in a particular area. what about social skills? sports? dances? college? what kind of responsibility is that teaching him for when he grows up....i can do whatever i want...whenever i want?

Spiderlove good point!

I agree that it definitely needs to be based on each child individually.... some children cannot or will not take on the responsibility themselves and WILL just veg out in front of the tv/videogames... my son actually went through that a bit, as he attended a "brick and mortar" school until 7th grade. He needed to de-stress from the rigidity of "normal" school... where they basically tell you when you will learn such and such, when you may eat your lunch, when you may have a bathroom break, etc...
After a month of "downtime", however, he took to it exceptionally well.
As far as social interaction, my kids get plenty through outside activities. And yes, they probably are a little more mature than their peers, as they hang with adults more...but I don't think they are perceived as "weird" or "socially inept" at all...lol.

okay...from the sugar article above and from i'm thinking.....unschooling and homeschooling are sounding like two different things. i know from friends that homeschoolers can particpate in alot of the same things public schoolers go to....
but from reading the above article, i'm grasping that she's not really going to go with any kind of program at all....whether is be state or private

I truly do not believe in homeschooling unless the child is disabled or cannot physically goto a school. They miss out on a lot and tend to be a bit more sheltered. But that is just MY Opinion.

my 4th grader had 2 hours of homework last night, this is after a 7 hour school day. she has 46 vocabulary/spelling words this week and is learning the state capitals. doesn't everyone have spell check these days? has anyone EVER needed to recite the state capitals in day to day life? i think they should be learning how to find answers and why things are the way they are, a whole understanding. ways to research, things like that. i'm thinking more and more about an alternative way to school them.

I think homeschooling is a great choice for many kids and families. This quoted article's understanding of "unschooling" however seems irresponsible and illogical--or misinformed. Parents of children in school still retain the right to bring their children on vacation on "off weeks" or take them on day breaks. Formally schooled children can still read and play according to their interests. There are many established schools (ex. Montessori) that allow the child's interests to guide his or her own course of study..
I hardly think the benefits of irregular/unorthodox bed and waking times (or a mother's desire to go out on the town)should be the guiding force behind an educational philosophy.

lickey split...i do agree...i do think they push kids a bit to hard. trying to shove so much info down their throats. and you know what...they won't use half that stuff later in life.

Is this legal? In Maryland we have "compulsory attendence" laws in the Education code, which means that a child over the age of 5 and under the age of 16 MUST attend school -- be it public, private, or homeschool. How will a child without any formal education get into college?

And Heidi has an excellent point --- very few kids get excited about grammar, but it's necessary to learn!

While I do not agree with "unschooling" I do think the fact that people are even considering this as an option points to how broken the public school system in our country is. If I could afford not to work you better believe I would be homeschooling my kids. Not because I'm some crazy bible banger but because I believe the quality of the education in this country has been on a downward slide for years. When are our politicians going to wake up and solve problems that MATTER?

For the record, unschoolers ARE homeschoolers. (at least where I live, in Florida). You must still be registered with either the state/county or a private school. You also must still provide proof of attendance, 180 days in my state. The difference where I live is if you are registered with the state/county school board, you must have your child tested yearly. Choosing the private school avenue eliminates that.

I don't think there is anywhere in the country where you can just "keep your kids out of school", with NO explanations....

it sounds like the mother in this story is selfish - she talks about going out with friends until late, and having her kid sleep late so she can write, and going to europe when it's cheaper for her...i see some value in this, but i think she's keeping him out of kindergarten because it helps keep her social life healthy

it's ridiculous if you ask me

living a carefree life and waking up at noon are exactly what summer break is for; this gives children a much needed break and time to "playlearn" which it sounds like the woman in this article would like. learning is always happening, be it playing with bungee cords or in a school environment, however, a structured learning environment lends itself to teaching outside of a child's playing. a child may see that if drop something out of the window it will fall, gravity, but can they explain it?? it is fascinating and enlightening to children to learn how things work. i personally could not explain beyond basic physics how most stuff works and rely on teachers/educators to provide this information to our children...

i agree that our school system needs some major reform (which thankfully one of the candidates is offering) but still feel it is necessary and beneficial for our children to attend school, not only for educational purposes but also for socializing...

When I first read this article, I could not believe what I was reading. This parent's disregard for her child's well being all so she can bar-hop and write is ridiculous. She's not keeping him out of school because she is against school violence or because she doesn't believe in the various districts' curricula. She does it for her. This article is not written to show how she is going to teach her child or help him teach himself. It is written as though she is doing it absolutely selfish reasons.

I have no problem with homeschooling or "unschooling" in that your kid will learn that which he or she wants to know. I believe that parents should have an active role in their child's education and help them learn about things that they find interesting. I have a problem with the way this woman had done it and for the reasons she gives.

Homeschooling and unschooling are totally different concepts. I am a big supporter of homeschooling with input from the state and regular testing, not a big fan of unschooling. However, I believe it is a parent's choice and I can't tell them not to do it. How our children are educated is very important and we each need to do what we think is best for us and our children. If someone thinks this is best, then it is.

Lickety split- whatever you do, please don't let your children rely on the belief that "in real life, this isn't necessary". I would argue that the majority of things considered primary education basics (such as spelling and state capitals) are thought to be BASICS for a reason- they provide you with a basis for everyday experiences and allow you to think more critically about those experiences. For instance, being a good speller will help you see connections between words, so that when you encounter a novel word, you might find a "root" meaning in it based on its spelling.

And you don't want your child to end up like the 24 year old in my class who made a great first impression by exclaiming "You're from New Jersey? That's really a state?! I thought it was just a city in New York!"

skigurl & apma- I could not agree with you more. Leaving the merits of homeschooling and unschooling out of this, what bothered me were the mother's motivations. I think that when you become a parent you have to make sacrifices for the welfare of your child, not the other way around. Isn't that parenting 101?

After reading this article, I think that this was a bad example of "unschooling". This would have been better titled a case of "Why I won't send my kid to Kindergarten now."
He's 4, he has a year and some months before he's 6 and has to really attend school or be un/home schooled. I just don't see anything wrong with her keeping her kid home.

My friend 3yo just started 1/2 day and the teacher already has issues. The 3 yo is very smart, corrects your grammer and will question something forever. Of course she's the product of two parents with 6 degrees between them UG,MBA,PHDs. As we rush to put our kids in these structure environments we also stiffle some natural learning that should occur at this age.

Also while I personally went to a reg school, if I knew then I would have begged to be homeschooled. I was popular and all butI didn't leave HS or college knowing what I wanted to do like the crop of homeschoolers I know now.
I know homeschoolers between 8 and early 60s who finsihed HS at 15/16 and went to college at 17/18. The two years in between help them know what they wanted and offered time to breathe.

Long winded way to say I think this was a poor example of the benefits and thought parents put into homeschooling.

I do think this article is a terrible representation of unschooling.

I definitely support the right of each parent to school their children however they see fit, including unschooling.

After reading the whole article, I think the mother is backing away from conventional school for all the right reasons. Her lack of structure is the shocking thing here, I think, not her unschooling philosophy. I suppose it works for her family, but letting a five year old stay up until midnight, join you on bar trips with friends, and watch movies like Juno, is not anywhere close to my personal parenting style She admits to not really knowing where it will take her though, and I think that's incredibly wise. Being open to anything is a wonderful way to be.

I know of one family that unschools, but the parents are constantly doing things with the children and teaching them, they are always working on some sort of creative endeavor together, and the children are brilliant kids in so many ways.

I don't think any child needs to attend school just to be "socialized", or because that's what life is like "in the real world". Children in school are learning things straight out of books, and repeating the information on tests.... not encouraged to challenge anything, just learn, spit it out, repeat.

I'll be a homeschooler when that time comes for my little ones.

I think this does sound incredible selfish on her part, but it's not that big of a deal right now because kindergarden is not mandated by the state. Sure they have the 5 and up rule, but you can get around it by saying I don't think my child is ready for school and I am going to hold him back. My bro started school later and my mom thinks it did him a lot of good bc his mind was just not ready. I think we should start school later than 5 years of age.
On the other hand, I think homeschool is a terrible choice for kids right off the bat. Let the kids try it out first, let them do it for a year or two, then if it's not for them you can try other options. Some kids are just to social to not be in school. If there are learning or behavioral problems than it could be looked at sooner.

In California, it's six and up but that still depends on the kindergarten cut-off date. They can be seven when they start first if need be, regardless of where they school.

I think that the author is just being selfish & rationalizing away her desire to sleep late, bar-hop, & in short, everything that she did before she had kids. When you're a mom, be a mom. Take responsibility.

As an employer my first thought when reading something like that is "that child will make the WORST employee someday". Where's the structure? Where's the rules? If Benny is kept on this path of "whatever goes" he will be ill equipped for the real world. The saddest part is the author doesn't even try and dress up her reasonings to be about her son.

I'm sure that there are truly great reasons and benefits for unschooling, but unfortunately the woman who wrote that article makes it sound as if she made the choice for very selfish reasons (like being able to go out on the town any night of the week she wants).

I'm really glad I checked back on this post and read all the responses. I do think there is a difference between homeschooling and unschooling, though. My babysitter growing up was homeschooled (as was her sister) by her mom, and it was NOT like this. They had lessons, coursework and criteria they had to meet (by both the state, I think, as well as their mom) before they could "advance." Their mom was concerned about the quality of private Christian schools in my hometown, more than anything, and that's why she homeschooled them.

Macgirl, you are completely right. As cruel as it may seem of me to say, school isn't supposed to 100% fun all the time. If you ask a five-year-old kid whether he'd rather play outside all day or sit in a classroom, I guarantee he'd pick the former. It's up to parents to teach their children that life isn't full of sunshine and rainbows and fun all the time. Part of that is school!

Seems to me that everyone commenting here can support/respect the idea of home schooling even if they wouldnot to choose it for their own children.
It's the author's self centered stance that strikes a disturbing and worrisome note.
I just checked back on this thread and the "ticking clock" Ellen Pompeo thread. Did anyone else notice how similar they sound? Except one speaker is a mother and the other is ambivalent about motherhood.

I agree with everything you just said anniekim.

i've been trying to post...and i keep getting booted off...grrr!
along with everyone else...the author of the article does sound very selfish...concerned of nothing but having a good time...if thats what she wanted...she should of waited to have a child

What about progressive schools as an option? My son attends a fantastic progressive elementary school in Los Angeles called Children's Community School (about 120 students in K - grade 6). It's a great, loving, nurturing place where kids are taught to question and explore and there isn't one set curriculum. The kids still learn math, science, history, english etc but the theory is that learning is most easily enjoyed and RETAINED by making all subjects relate to each other. The kids at this school are bright, inquisitive and excited about learning. And my little social butterfly still gets to be with other kids. My son hates to go home! Here is some of the philosophy of the school:

"Children's Community School's curriculum prepares children for citizenship in a democracy. And so at every step, we relate study to life. We believe that children, just like adults, learn best when they are active participants in the world around them. We therefore begin each study with the children's knowledge and their questions.

CCS teachers begin every unit -- be it history, biology, multiplication or creative writing - by asking students what they know about the subject. That inevitably leads to spirited classroom discussions from which the teacher compiles a list of student-generated questions. This list forms the basis for the unit itself: the children's own questions drive the study. And once we head down a path of study, we employ many forms of expression that encompass our students' diverse learning styles. Our children write essays and give speeches; they paint, weave, and mold clay. And they perform, sometimes in costume, everything from dances, songs, and stories, to sophisticated dramatic presentations."

The website is http://www.ccsteaches.com/ if anyone is interested. I highly recommend progressive schooling as an alternative to mainstream education. BUT I do believe that all parents have the right to choose the type of schooling they want for their kids. I totally agree that this woman sounds beyond selfish and is doing a disservice to others who "unschool".

What about progressive schools as an option? My son attends a fantastic progressive elementary school in Los Angeles called Children's Community School (about 120 students in K - grade 6). It's a great, loving, nurturing place where kids are taught to question and explore and there isn't one set curriculum. The kids still learn math, science, history, english etc but the theory is that learning is most easily enjoyed and RETAINED by making all subjects relate to each other. The kids at this school are bright, inquisitive and excited about learning. And my little social butterfly still gets to be with other kids. My son hates to go home! Here is some of the philosophy of the school:

"Children's Community School's curriculum prepares children for citizenship in a democracy. And so at every step, we relate study to life. We believe that children, just like adults, learn best when they are active participants in the world around them. We therefore begin each study with the children's knowledge and their questions.

CCS teachers begin every unit -- be it history, biology, multiplication or creative writing - by asking students what they know about the subject. That inevitably leads to spirited classroom discussions from which the teacher compiles a list of student-generated questions. This list forms the basis for the unit itself: the children's own questions drive the study. And once we head down a path of study, we employ many forms of expression that encompass our students' diverse learning styles. Our children write essays and give speeches; they paint, weave, and mold clay. And they perform, sometimes in costume, everything from dances, songs, and stories, to sophisticated dramatic presentations."

The website is http://www.ccsteaches.com/ if anyone is interested. I highly recommend progressive schooling as an alternative to mainstream education. BUT I do believe that all parents have the right to choose the type of schooling they want for their kids. I totally agree that this woman sounds beyond selfish and is doing a disservice to others who "unschool".

Whoops! Sorry for double posting. Also, I meant to say that the school is NEAR Los Angeles, not IN Los Angeles.

That sounds like a great school, missamay30. I've heard of another school in CA where it is half traditional/half homeschool. Monday and Wednesday are taught at a special school, and Tuesday and Thursday are taught at home. Too bad I'm on the East Coast =/

I didn't really consider homeschooling until a friend of mine did that with her kids for a couple years. She did an excellent job and the kids had fun and learned a lot.

I think kids do need to learn how to socialize and understand that a lot of life requires you to sit behind a desk sometimes. I love the progressive school idea. I read a lot of books on brain science and education through strengths and that school sounds excellent.

I think the problem is that most people don't have a choice. There is one public school in your area and if you don't like it you either have to pay for a private school (if there is one) or do it yourself.