Toddler

When it’s time for your baby to give up her bottle, many moms confirm it can feel like a battle. After all, what toddler wants to give up her milk and source of comfort?

"My daughter is 24 months and refuses to leave the bottle," shares Circle of Moms member Kim D. "We tried a sipper cup, but she throws a tantrum."

Carrie L.'s 25-month-old son also throws a fit at the mention of pitching his bottle of milk. "He drinks water from a cup or sippy cup, but wants his milk in a bottle (his drink of choice). Should I go cold turkey and toss them (and deal with his wrath) or wait for him to be ready?" she asks other moms.

If you, too, are wondering what to do when your child won't give up her bottle, Circle of Moms members offer the following six tips.

1. Wean Off the Bottle Gradually

The best way to break your baby’s bottle habit is to wean her off the bottle without her even realizing it, moms say. For example, Lola S. gradually reduced the number of times her daughter could drink from the bottle to once per day, and then eventually was able to take it away altogether.

Keri R., too, recommends gradually transitioning your child to a sippy cup: "Once children begin teething you should get rid of the bottle because it can disrupt the way their mouth and teeth grow. [Parents can] lessen the shock by making the transition over a couple weeks, though."

As you wean your child off the bottle and ramp up the use of a cup, your child will gradually get used to it, Stacy C. says. "She should respond really well if you praise her every time she does anything with the sippy cup. Just staying really positive about this will help her so much. She [will] want to do it more to keep getting the positive attention."

To speed the transition along, Jamie P. and Leisl F. both suggest offering your child’s favorite drink (i.e., milk or juice) in a cup instead of a bottle. "If you only allow them to drink water in the bottle, then they usually get bored with just water [and] give up the bottle all together," says Jamie, and Liesl points out that kids eventually lose interest in the bottle and give in because they want their milk.

2. Explain That "Big Kids" Use Cups

When subtle weaning isn’t working, several Circle of Moms members suggest explaining that big kids use cups and that bottles are for babies.

When Alicia T. was having trouble detaching her daughter from her bottle, she finally got down and talked to her at her level. "[I] said, 'You’re a big girl now and we’re going to put your bottles in a bag and give them to the little babies that need them.'"

To Alicia’s surprise, her daughter helped gather all the bottles in a bag to give to the babies, and that was the last she saw of them. "She was fine within a week and we've never looked back. The key is to get your lil’ one involved in being a big kid and stick with it," she adds.

This tactic also worked for Hollie S. When her daughter was about one, Hollie told her that another baby really needed a bottle and let her help pack up her own. Neither mother nor child said anything about the bottles again. 

For toddlers who need a little more encouragement, several moms suggests tapping a child's imagination to strengthen their resolve to be a big kid about bottles. If it's almost Christmastime, Rebecca C. advises, explain that Santa is taking the bottles to give to baby reindeer so that they will be "big and strong and ready in time for Christmas to bring all the Christmas presents." At other times of year, Nicola C. suggests explaining that a fairy is taking the bottles to another baby.

3. Give the Bottles a Send-Off

Sometimes, bidding an actual goodbye to their bottles helps give toddlers a sense of closure, says Monica M. She got her son’s bottles out and told him, in an excited voice, "Let’s say goodbye to the bottles! Yeah … bye bottles." Celeste used this technique with her son as well and reports that after he said his goodbyes he never asked for his bottles again.

4. Let Your Child Choose a 'Big Kid Cup'

To help your child feel like a big kid who doesn’t need a bottle, Melissa S. and Amanda S. both suggest letting her trade in her bottles for big kid or "cool" cups. "Go out and buy the best one you can find with Disney characters on it," explains Amanda. "When the 'trade' is made, then thank her for being such a big girl and letting the baby have her bottles."

5. Quit Cold Turkey

Of course, moms can always opt to make their children quit the bottle cold turkey.

Jessica S. has a strict rule that once you turn one, the bottle goes away. "We just completely took them away and gave [my daughter] a sippy cup," she says. "She threw tantrums, and of course would refuse to drink out of them, but eventually she got to the point where she really wanted her milk (and realized the milk was in the cup), and would just start drinking from it."

Lorna H. and Terrie R. chucked all the bottles into the trash bin around that same time and gave their children no forewarnings. Lorna reports that her now 18-month-old son took only three days to get used to the change. "The ruthless approach worked for me," she says.

Terrie’s 10-month-old daughter’s protests lasted a little longer — about a week, but not only did she quickly adjust to the sippy cup, she moved on to a regular cup within three months. "It was worth getting rid of the bottles!" Terrie declares.

If you do the tough love thing, then don’t give into your child’s protests, Doreen M. cautions. "Giving into her tantrums is more harmful than just taking the bottle," she says. "Once she calms down and gets hungry/thirsty, she will sooner or later pick it up. One day of tough love will be worth it in the long-run."

6. Don’t Sweat It

If you are having problems breaking your child’s bottle habit, then some moms say to give yourself and your child a break.

"If you force this, your daughter will probably simply replace it with another habit — thumb sucking, perhaps, if she has not yet outgrown this genuine, emotional need," explains Tine B. "My suggestion to reduce her need for comfort sucking at the bottle would be to increase the amount of other types of comfort she gets — lots of hugs, snuggles and play with you and other people to whom she is attached. Suddenly removing [the bottle] can create a whole lot of distress and anguish that isn't necessary, in the same way as sudden weaning from the breast can."

Andy M., who says she struggled with trying to take her son’s bottle away gradually and with all sorts of tricks, eventually came to the realization that she needed to relax. "Let’s face it, they all stop using the bottle eventually. You never see a kid at school with one, right?" she says. "Just like diaper training, it happens at different times for everyone." Until her son does decide to surrender his security bottle, Andy says she’s not going to sweat the small stuff and will just enjoy her toddler. "It’ll happen when it happens," she concludes.

Image Source: UhDuh via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Do your kids come running to interrupt you as soon as you get on the phone? As Circle of Moms member Alicia notes of this behavior pattern in her daughter, it's as if kids have a silent alarm that goes off when mom's attention shifts away from them. She often gets off the phone to give her daughter the attention she's demanding, but then, she reports, "I start getting upset because I'm always doing this and there are things that I need to get done.”

Young children see themselves as the center of the universe, and that’s age appropriate. They haven’t developed to the point where they understand that their parents need to, want to, and can do things that don’t involve them.

So when a child hears her parent talking on the phone she runs in, attempting to refocus her parent’s attention back on to her. This is a form of research for a child, not misbehavior.

A Parental Response That Feeds the Problem

Think of what you normally do when you’re on the phone and your child comes running in to interrupt you.

• You look directly into her eyes and point to the phone as if to say, “I’m on the phone, please be quiet and let me talk.”
• Then, you raise your finger and make the silent shush sign.
• Finally, you hold up one finger to indicate you’ll only be one more minute; which by the way is an eternity for a child.

To a child, all of that translates as, "I got some of mom’s attention. Not the lovely kind of attention, but attention nonetheless.” (See my column on potty training, Potty Training and Parent Pie, to fully understand why I say this.)

Of course, if that’s not enough attention to fill your child's tank, she’ll resort to whining, begging, talking loudly, stomping, screaming, or having a tantrum to keep you focused on her and not the phone.

Oh, the Silly Things I Say

Have you ever noticed that sometimes when you ask your child “What do you need?” she mumbles or says something silly? Her answer is telling you she’s looking for attention. Of course, if you sense your child really needs you, then pay attention to her.

How to Handle Phone Interruptions

The phone rings, you answer, and your child comes running in to interrupt you.          

• Motion for her to come closer to you. As she’s snuggling up beside you, begin rubbing her back. Touching a person’s body sends a message to their psyche that they’re being paid attention to.
• Do not look her in the eyes, and do not talk to her.
• If she tries to talk to you, rotate your body a quarter turn away from her, and continue to rub her back.

6 Tips and Tricks

1. Children under the age of 2½ are developmentally too young for parents to use this tip.
2. When first trying this, talk to a dial tone and not a real person. It’s too hard to remember what to do as you listen to your child and attempt to talk to a friend.
3. Ignore the repeated mom-mom-mom chant. Try to give it one full minute of silently rubbing her back before you say anything to her. During that minute her talking should begin to slow down, or stop. That’s because her deep need for attention is being filled.
4. Support yourself as you do this by reminding yourself that you’re teaching your child that she can’t have everything she wants, when she wants it. The world just doesn’t work that way.

1. This is not about punishment — it’s about teaching. If your child is becoming more and more agitated as you implement this tip, then stop and talk to her. Some days are days for teaching and some days aren’t. 
2. If your child is not looking for attention, then the back rubbing will just make her mad and she’ll simply push your hand away.

This works for all aged kids, and husbands too. Although for some reason the hubby’s don’t like it so much. LOL!

Image Source: iStock Photo

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Sometimes I feel like I am drowning in the amount of lies and half-truths I have created in order for my children to believe - to believe in magical elves, flying reindeer and a jolly old man who knows if they have done their homework or cleaned their room.

To make things worse, I am not a very good liar. It’s actually a family joke. I can’t keep a secret. I have a compulsion to “share.” So, sometimes I wonder how I have made it this long.

My first-born is 13-years-old and he was such an easy child. He never questioned much. He just accepted what I told him as true. He loved the holidays and was happy to wake up on Christmas morning and get a few gifts. He lit up when we showed him the radar on Christmas Eve of Santa traveling across the globe. He sat on Santa’s lap at the mall without a tear. He was a believer and I felt like a good mother.

Then I had my second son, who is nearly seven, and my daughter, who is five.  The baby is only 19-months-old, so I’ll leave her out of it for now (although I’m pretty sure she is going to put me through the ringer too). I was so excited that I had more children to share in the magic of Christmas – my favorite holiday. Only, these kids are not like their older brother. They like to question everything. “But, why?” rings through my head at all hours of the day and night.

Too Curious?

I think a curious mind is a wonderful thing, except of course if you are trying to create some magical traditions contingent upon complacent believers.

Sometimes, I feel like they are trying to poke holes in my story like professional interrogators. Here are some examples:

My son: "So, what you are telling me is that Santa was a real person, but he was so good that Jesus gave him Christmas magic?"

Me: “Um, sort of… it’s hard to explain.” (Can you tell I’m good on my feet?)

My daughter: "So, if the Santa at the mall is not the real Santa and is just his helper, why do I have to sit on his lap? He’s a stranger Mommy."

Me: "Um… it’s hard to explain." (I seriously need to practice my talking points.)

The stories I tell my kids seem to grow as they get smarter and quicker to see the inconsistencies. The thing is I don’t feel guilty about the lying. What I feel is annoyed.

Don’t they understand I am lying for their own good? Don’t they know that one day they will do the same thing in order to preserve the magic for their children? Don’t they realize that they will look back on these days and wish to believe that the North Pole carries the power to bring joy to countless children? Or that once a year, one person has the power to make your wishes come true?

I understand the reason some parents choose not to start the lying. It is surely simpler. Can Christmas still be fun without the tall tales? Of course it can. Is the true meaning of Christmas easier to teach without the elves and reindeer? I can see the argument to this effect.

But, can it still be magical? I’m not quite convinced. And to me, part of the wonder of childhood is the ability to believe in magic. To use your imagination to create fantasies. To dream big and cling to the idea that life is more than black and white - that there are hints of color, especially the red and green of Christmas.

Image Source: istockphoto

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

To some extent, your child’s genes determine whether he’ll be a strong leader, according to an article published in Psychology Today. DNA is being analyzed to search for genes that "confer leadership ability and other personality traits relevant to business," and a picture — albeit a hazy one — is emerging, say the article’s authors, Mark van Vugt and Anjana Ahuja. 

Putting genetics aside however, it’s likely that your preschooler’s personality is already emerging. So what’s a mom to do when her child appears to be less of a leader and more of a natural born follower?

That’s the dilemma I’m facing because my son’s teacher shared that her biggest concern about my son is that he’s too easily influenced by a few trouble-makers in class. At home, too, I’ve noticed he is hesitant to do anything until he can copy and follow in the footsteps of someone else. For my son’s sake, I want him to take more initiative and make good choices. He’ll have to make decisions on his own once he's an adult, after all. So here’s how I plan to give the advantage to nurture over nature, and put him on the path that leads to more independent thinking.

1. Talk About Making Good Choices

While I fret when my preschooler copies another child — his behavior is actually quite common for his age, Circle of Moms members reassure me.

For example, like me, Amber G.'s four-year-old son always wants to do what other kids are doing, even if one of those kids is doing something bad:"He even volunteered to go to the office because another kid went and he wanted to go too, even though the teacher explained that it's not a good thing to be sent to the office," she shares, adding that she doesn't want him "getting into bad [things] and turning into a bad kid because he wants to be like everyone else."

To ensure that a childhood tendency to be a follower doesn’t turn into a permanent personality trait however, Circle of Moms members suggest moms like me talk about good choices with our children. "All kids are followers to some extent. They are still learning about the world, so will do what others do, good or bad. You have to instruct him on which is the right way and how to make good choices," advises Alisha N.  

"Moms must let their children understand the true meaning of being an independent person," Cecille I. adds. "To put this into effect, you should let [your child] know the importance and practice of responsibility. Knowing her responsibilities will make it easier for her to cope with her obligations as [she] grows up."

2. Give Options

Moms Amy E., Candace S. and Tiffany A. suggest preschoolers practice making good decisions. Candace describes starting your child off with choices over little stuff. "For example, let him pick out what he's going to wear in the morning: 'This shirt, or this one?' 'These pants or those?' Do this with as much stuff as you can: 'Milk or water?' 'Bath or shower?' 'This story or that one?'”

"Make up situations that can come up with school, and help him learn what his 'instead' options are," adds Tiffany. "Practice [decision-making] like you're his classmates; they love to pretend, and it will help better than your telling him not to do what the do."

When you give your child choices: "It makes them feel more responsible for their decisions," Amy explains. 

As Maricelis M. says, being a follower in preschool can be a phase, and you don’t want to to allow that phase to grow into something your child will always do. "Allowing your child to build his self confidence and make some choices on the smaller scale of his daily routine. As time passes he'll graduate from making really small decisions to slightly more important ones. [Then he can] reap the benefits of making good decisions, but also understanding and dealing with the consequences of making bad decisions," she explains.

3. Reward Good Decisions

As your child starts to get the hang of making choices, praise and reward his good decisions. As Candace advises, "Allow him to take natural consequences for poor ones. . . . Let him make his own decisions about little stuff, thus teaching him how to make decisions about bigger stuff." And when your child makes good decisions and commend him with pride and joy for each positive step he achieves, he'll want to continue to elicit that positive response from you, adds Pamela L.

4. Introduce Chores

Chores are an excellent way to build self-confidence and teach the kind of responsibility that comes naturally to leaders. Even preschoolers can be given small tasks — like getting meals and snacks ready, giving a cashier the money, taking the change, and helping to pack the groceries in the bag.

"Show them the task and how it is done, then let them do it,” Valerie says. “Don’t step in unless they ask or can get hurt." Then, complement and reward your child for doing well.

Denikka G. feels similarly that giving kids chores encourages their independence. Her son has been helping her around the house since he was about two years old, and now that he’s three-and-a-half, he helps to unload the dishwasher, load the laundry, sweep and vacuum, wash his own body, brush his own teeth, and wipe himself after going potty. "If they're capable, why shouldn't they be doing it, or at least taking an active role in helping?" she asks.

Chores followed by positive encouragement for a job well done helps children feel like they have control of parts of their lives, explains Jessica W. "It makes them feel safe and comfortable when they can be in control of something in their little world."

Susanne K. agrees, adding that chores help children to know that they are needed. "If they have to help, they will have a higher self-worth."

5. Don't Do Everything for Your Child

Janet P. says the best way to teach your child to be more of a leader and less of a follower is to stop being there at every turn. "[Children] learn to be independent because you back off and let them handle thing on their own," she adds.

Arleen L. agrees, saying parents shouldn't solve every problem for their child. "Encourage him/her to think through a situation; work through and eliminate your own fears; build confidence by believing in their abilities; instill self-worth by loving unconditionally (that does not mean giving in!); stay firm in your convictions; and give consistent expectations and rewards," she says.

Moreover, if you fail to teach your child to make choices, take responsibility, be independent and be self-reliant, then you can’t expect him to take things seriously and act his age when it’s time to, cautions Kate S.

This last point resonated with me. As a parent, it’s not only my responsibility to love, care and protect my preschooler, but also to teach him how to take care of himself and prepare him for life on his own.

Image Source: Cocolima via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

Mandy A.'s two and a half-year-old daughter loves when her daddy turns her upside down. Erin R. loves to flip and twirl her son, too, explaining that, "It's good for both of us. I use it to break the tension when we're having one of those days where all I say is no." Cheryl W. finds that it helps her kids works off extra energy. And Kylie N., whose three children love roughhousing with their father and her together, says it's a great workout: "I can't imagine a more fun, healthy way of play without actually calling it exercise."

Numerous Circle of Moms members say that roughhousing with your children can be beneficial for both you and them, and even researchers say that roughhousing is good for kids. But what types of rough and tumble play are safest, and when do kids outgrow the desire for it?

While there’s little consensus among Circle of Moms members on when exactly family horseplay should end, they do offer four guidelines on how it should change as a child grows and matures.

1. Consider Your Child’s Age

Moms caution that when playing around, parents need to take into account their children’s ages and physical capabilities. For example, a baby can be held in the air and spun around, but should not be vigorously shaken, mom Kate V. advises. "A little bouncing is fine and can be great fun for them," she says. "Just be sure to hold [your baby] by his core, and not by his limbs [to avoid injuries].

As your child gets older, the moves can become more complex – flipping your child over, hanging her upside down, letting him climb you or wrestling— and there's even a book on suggested roughhousing techniques that's segmented by age range.

2. Teach Limits and Respect

Some moms worry that roughhousing can lead to problems later on, such as uncontrollable aggression or physical abuse, but other moms believe it's fine as long as you teach your child about respect and limitations.

In fact, when children start roughhousing, one member (screenname: "Iridescent Moonbeams") recommends guiding them towards gentle ways of wrestling and other "good ways to play with major muscle groups," adding that if your child gets too rough, you should "stop and correct the action immediately, and when they play nicely, reward it."

Cheryl W. agrees, offering that her three children, ages three, five and seven, are actually learning how to show respect for other people through their horseplay. When they roughhouse she talks to them about being gentle and avoiding intentionally hurting one another.

"Roughhousing doesn't equate to hitting or smacking people with objects just to hopefully see them laugh at being hit or smacked, that's a totally different matter," Bonnie C. agrees. "Empathy has to be taught, too."

3. Taper Off When There's Risk or Discomfort

If either you or your child begins feeling uncomfortable in any way, it's time for the horseplay to stop. Several moms cite pregnancy with another child as a time to put a moratorium on horseplay, including Trish A. and Ashley V. When Ashley's three-year-old started hitting her belly and telling her to be a gorilla, she knew it was time to explain that this could hurt the baby and to teach her tot to instead give stomach hugs and kisses. And Trish has had to put her three-year-old and 21-month-old on the floor and explain that they can't dig their elbows, knees, feet and hands into her or jump all over her. At nearly 27 weeks pregnant, she knows that not respecting these limitations could put her into early labor.

The need for caution goes in both directions; just as showering with your child can feel awkward once he starts becoming aware of physical differences, moms advise paying attention to when your child naturally shies away from the close physical contact involved in rough play, and then respecting those signals.

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is that rough-housing should be fun, not hurtful. Children should be taught to be gentle in play, just like they are taught to pet animals gently instead of grabbing their fur, says Krista E. And if you or your child become exhausted after even 10 or 20 minutes of it, says Casey T., then stop.

Most important of all, says a mom named Elfrieda, your child should listen when you or someone else tells him to stop, and then transition to a calmer (but still physical) activity, like snuggling together to read a story. In fact, adds Amy D., horseplay is one of the best way to teach kids these critical lessons about physical contact:

"Roughhousing provides the perfect context for kids to ‘learn’ the boundaries. Loving fathers will restrain their strength while roughhousing, so it's harmless fun. Sons will learn how to do the same, and daughters will learn how to enjoy both strength and compassion in the same action from a man. And all kids will learn that when they say, ‘No, quit, time out,’ someone who loves and cares for them will stop. These lessons are invaluable!"

Image Source: Heinrock via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

It's amazing how quickly your child transforms from a cute, cooing baby to a full-fledged toddler — one who seems bent on getting into everything, eating whatever he encounters, and generally misbehaving. A Circle of Moms member who goes by "TealRose" describes toddlers best when she says, "He has no idea of 'right or wrong' - he only has the need to learn. He is programmed to do so by touching, tasting, moving, dropping, throwing, opening, closing, [and] breaking - not because he is 'naughty,' but because that is how he learns."

When that learning veers into dangerous or inappropriate behavior and "no" isn't working, what are the first steps you can take to discipline a child? Which tactics are appropriate and effective at this age? Here, Circle of Moms members share three parenting techniques that help a toddler learn what's acceptable and what's not, as well as some thoughts on whether corporal punishment should be a tactic you consider.

1. Re-Direct

Many moms start gently, by re-directing a child's behavior. What this means in practices is that when your child is getting into mischief and playing with or touching things she shouldn't, you simply lead her to something she should be doing instead.

For example, member Tamara S., whose 19-month-old son sometimes explores in ways that are dangerous, uses re-direction to teach him appropriate behaviors:

"If he's jumping off the chair, I might say 'how about rolling this ball across the floor?' and when he does what he wants you to do with the redirection make a big deal... I give him a high five and tell him, 'You did a great job listening with your ears,' and then I point to his ears.'"

Geri C. also recommends re-direction with young toddlers, and emphasizes that behavior which we find annoying and dangerous is really just curiosity on their part: "Try giving him an area with safe things of yours, like some plastic bowls and utensils, an old pan or two. Kids are developing their minds, they are curious [and] want what you have."

Diane S. uses re-direction in a slightly different way with her grandson. She finds a change of scenery helps:

"My 13-month-old grandson has tantrums sometimes, and I put his coat on him and take him outdoors. The change in atmosphere and climate seem to catch him off guard, and shortly we are playing outdoors as though nothing has happened."

2. Give or Take a Time Out

As a toddler's understanding and comprehension increases, moms find that time outs become a better way to teach right from wrong. Ashley M.'s son had his first time-out at 15 months old:

"I sat him on the floor in front of the kitchen sink, and set the microwave timer to 75 seconds. It's a minute for every year they are. I had to do it a few times, but he finally realized he had to sit until the timer went off and he would watch the timer and when he heard it beep he would look at me to tell him he could get up and I would explain to him why he was in time out."

A member who goes by the initial "J" says time outs are especially effective with her 15-month-old when he's misbehaving to get attention. For kids this age she suggests a time out of no more than 2-3 minutes and advises parents to take the time to explain the reasons for the time out in terms the child can understand.

Shelly I. recommends a reverse time out — one in which the parent takes the break: "give yourself a time out, and go to your room till [your child] calms down." Describing how she used this method with her own toddler, who "got it" after several repetitions, she says, "I would tell him that I didn't like being around him when he acted that way, and I would be back when he was pleasant."

3. Take Away a Toy

Toddlers are able to start to understand that there are consequences for their actions, and many moms say that you can help this along by taking away a favorite toy as punishment for misbehaving.

Sara B. found this worked well with her children. She would simply say, "If you do that again I am taking toys." As she further explains, "Whatever the favorite toy was that day, I would confiscate it if the bad behavior was repeated after this warning. When the fit ensued, I would give one more chance, making clear that they could have it back if they would calm down, and as long as they did not do X again."

The Debate Over Corporal Punishment

Corporal punishment of any kind is a highly debated issue in the Circle of Moms communities. Many moms feel that spanking, especially, is inappropriate for young toddlers who are just learning to explore the world around them. As Connie O., a childcare provider who has worked with many toddlers, points out, "They have absolutely no self-control at this age. They may know it's not something they should do, they may not want to get into trouble, but they lack the ability to self-regulate and control their impulses. It's wrong to punish a child for something they have no control over. That ability will form by the time they are two, and then time out and the expectation of compliance is appropriate."

Other moms of toddlers feel that when done correctly — gently and without anger, taps on the hand and swats on the bottom can be an effective way to discipline. "Giving my son a quick tap on his padded diaper while saying, 'No' was the only thing that got his attention," says Sheryl D. And Brandi G. feels that "popping" her girls on the hand and saying, "No" in a stern voice was the most effective way to get them to stop touching things that were dangerous or off limits.

But even this crosses the line for some. As TealRose sees it, even a light "pop" on the hand of a toddler under two years old does more harm than good:

"You don't need to smack his hand - he has no way of understanding why dearest mummy just hurt him. Simple child development will tell you that. He might stop touching that vase, but then he will stop touching a lot of things, and stop learning too– not good."

Image Source: Citril via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

With the holiday season upon us, it's certain our children's manners will come under the spotlight– as when Grandma glares across the table after your nine-year-old burps loudly. Or when the relatives are gathered around the tree and your kids rip through gifts without a thank you. Circle of Moms member Deangela D. speaks for many of her peers when she says it’s important to take major preemptive steps to avoid etiquette snafus during the holiday season: "The way to really enjoy your kids is to teach them how to treat other people," she says.

Parents looking to keep their holiday gatherings merry will appreciate some tried-and-true strategies for teaching kids good holiday manners – before the clan is seated around the holiday table. From table manners to 'thank you' notes, Circle of Moms members offer this etiquette primer for the holidays.

1. Set Expectations Ahead Of Time

Noone wants the relatives to conclude that their child is a brat, and many Circle of Moms members say that the best way to preempt this is to stop bad manners before they start by establishing rules for behavior and good manners ahead of time. "Setting expectations is important," says Wendy M. To prepare your kids for a visit to relatives' homes she suggests telling your children in advance that they must be relatively quiet and remain in their seats and that "they will be expected to behave." If they've been prepared beforehand, she explains, "a reprimand for acting out won't be a surprise." And don't forget to praise them "for a job well done" if they are well behaved.

A mom of four named Amy agrees that it works best to teach table manners before family gatherings. Her children like to clown around at the dinner table, so she "manner coaches" them pre-holiday gatherings, explaining to them that at other people's houses there are more limits: "You have to stay in your seat, sitting, not standing or sliding under. No yelling, respect others, and there is prayer time before the meal."

Ninouska D., a mom of five, recommends warning ahead of time that there will be consequences for improper behavior. "Tell your kids that you will be taking away things that are special to them if they don’t behave during family gatherings," she recommends. 

2. Focus on the Manners Most Important to You

Amid the holiday season's many family meals, visiting relatives, and gift exchanges, Candi H.,  Lexi T. and others see opportunities for teaching kids what they see as the most critical of good manners.

Candi focuses on teaching her kids to listen politely and on not interrupting when others are speaking.

Daphe J. works hard to train her kids about gift acceptance etiquette, specifically by saying thank you for each one received.

Lexi wants her children to learn to be respectful to all those visiting adult relatives. "Disrespect is just not tolerated in my home. We do not allow children to address adults by their first name unless some sort of title is used first (Mr., Miss, Mrs., Coach, etc.)," she says.

3. Offer Incentives and Disincentives

Moms sometimes have to be creative to coax or inspire good manners. Amber B. offers incentives for good holiday behavior, a proven tactic she borrowed from her mom. "My mother was strict about us having impeccable table manners," she explains. "However, on Sunday nights we were allowed to watch TV while eating dinner. Perhaps if you have one or two nights a week where your children can have fun (a carpet picnic, watching TV) and they know they can just be themselves, then maybe it will be easier to enforce the table manners on the rest of the days."

Kathryn J. has created a "swear/fart jar" to keep her kids from belching and swearing at the dinner table (or anywhere for that matter). "If anyone uses a slang/swear word, money is paid in the jar. If anyone farts anywhere other than in the bathroom, then they pay too," she says.

4. Teach Gratitude

There’s nothing more cringe inducing to in-laws than seeing kids who are old enough to know better ripping up gifts and tossing them aside without saying thank you, says a mom named Toni. She is vigilant about teaching her children to be thankful for the gifts given them at the holidays. "Learning to say 'please,' 'thank you,' 'excuse me,' and 'sorry' are incredibly important," she says. Mary R. agrees, and focuses on teaching her kids to show gratitude in writing: "I'm huge on 'thank you' cards," she explains. (For more on teaching gratitude, see How to Teach a Child About Being Grateful.)

5. Lead By Example

Finally, if you want your kids to behave, it's critical to be a good role model. "Your children learn from you," says Kim W. "If you show that you are grateful, then the act will pass itself along to your children." As an example, she suggests making sure your children see that you always say 'thank you' and 'you're welcome' to others.

What are your family's rules for good holiday manners?

Image Source: wharman via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.

If you have loved ones in far away places, chances are they want to see and talk to your child, camera-to-camera! As video chat technology gets easier to use, even grandparents and great-grandparents are wanting to Skype or have FaceTime. But many parents are finding that their toddlers aren't exactly ready for the calm sit-still that's expected during a video chat.

So just how do you keep a busy toddler engaged and interacting for a successful chat? Some of my favorite bloggers have excellent tips for video chatting with toddlers.

1. Time the chat carefully.

Jessica Katz at eHow wrote How To Skype With An Infant, and many of her ideas are helpful with toddlers and preschoolers as well. Number one on her list is to Skype with your child in the morning. "[Kids] tend to be more tired and fussy at the end of the day. First thing in the morning they are more willing to pay attention," she says.

Stephanie Gruner, a writer for The Faster Times, talks about timing your Skype session well and being flexible in her article; Skyping 101 for Toddlers and Grandparents. Gruner acknowledges that adults often want to schedule the call to fit their plans for the day, but this doesn't always catch a toddler in their best mood: "Toddlers don’t switch gears like we do, and you can’t force them to be charming. A better strategy is to ask grandparents to turn on Skype when their computers are on. That way, if your kid wants to Skype, you can be more spontaneous."

2. Position the adults for eye contact.

One of the most important aspects of any video chat is that both sides must participate. Katz stresses using eye contact to make the connection: "Sit close to the monitor so the baby can see you, and make eye contact."

Gruner also knows that eye contact and good positioning make all the difference. She took the time to advise her mother-in-law how to sit and to look into the camera so that it looks more like she's talking directly to her grandchild. "This makes a big difference when interacting with a really small child. If they can only see half a face and there’s no eye-contact they quickly lose interest."

3. Engage around familiar books, songs, and toys.

Stick with what you know... and what they know. It may take a little prep time before you video chat, but Katz suggests having the person on the other end of the call read your toddler's favorite book or sing songs that are already familiar to your child.

Gruner finds that Skype sessions work best when she lets her daughter take the lead: "Our daughter sits and chats longer if she can introduce her stuffed animals and favorite books. Lately we’ve been encouraging her to 'read' her books to her visitors."

Other types of props can also be essential to keep your toddler engaged while Skyping. Gruner says Skype is just like television to children; they expect to be amused. Props do the trick when her mother Skypes with her daughter: "She talks to our daughter with puppets and stuffed animals. In this way, they can play."

Ilana Wiles is a blogger who shares her sense of humor about raising a toddler at Mommy Shorts. In her Seven Stages of Skyping with a Toddler, she describes props as part of her 'one woman show' with her daughter, Mazzy: "You must sing, read a book, pretend to eat your own arm, etc. If you're lucky, your child will take a cue and help you out. Mazzy is a big fan of introducing me to each of her stuffed animals. But be careful— this might be a ruse. I once found myself talking to Elmo for a good fifteen minutes before realizing Mazzy wasn't even in the room."

4. Plan for technical difficulties.

You definitely want to get the call going without making your toddler wait. Computer problems, sound and video issues, and the connection itself can take time to get up and running. That's why Gruner likes to have her daughter Skype with grandparents on the weekend, when she and her husband can both be there: "That way he can get our daughter excited about the call in another room while I run a sound check with the grandparents."

Wiles warns of the "accidental hangup," which she says is inevitable on the computer... "even more likely when you are doing FaceTime on the iPhone. The iPhone is maddeningly easy to hang-up since the 'END' option is a temptingly touchable red rectangle right there on the screen. Even adults have to actively avoid touching it. (Apple— invent a toddler lock please!)"

5. Keep expectations reasonable.

When it comes to the length of the call, it's important to remember your toddler's attention span. Katz advises ending the call before things go downhill: "A successful call may be five minutes or less."

Gruner also accepts that you are on toddler time, and you have to be realistic: "Even the best strategies and props will only get your kid to sit for so long."

Image Source: Clintus McGintus via Flickr/Creative Commons

The views expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of, and should not be attributed to, POPSUGAR.