Keeping the spark alive in any marriage is something that both spouses need to work hard to achieve. Add a screaming baby, two sleepless new parents, and a new daily routine that everyone is still trying to get used to, and the flames of passion can be pretty hard to ignite! We asked relationship expert Andrea Syrtash — author of Cheat On Your Husband (With Your Husband) ($11) — to give us her top three tips for keeping the romance alive after baby arrives. Check it out!
- Commit to a Regular Date Night: What does not count as a date night: watching TV, running to Costco, spending the entire date talking about the baby and the bills. If your baby is too young, set special time aside at home where you can connect as lovers — not just as coparents. One couple interviewed by Andrea picked an ethnic cuisine they tried to master together each month and then ate by candlelight.
- Flirt: Send a sexy or thoughtful text or email during the day to show your partner you're thinking of him, compliment how good he looks, tease your husband, resurrect a few inside jokes that used to make you laugh . . . flirt, flirt, flirt! Courtship isn't only for dating.
- Have Date Talk: One study showed that the average couple with kids speaks (uninterrupted) about 15 minutes a day. With a baby, couples tend to be too tired to talk — but talking (about nonstressful topics, not household chores, in-laws, or bills!) is essential in order to keep the spark alive. Stay curious about each other and you'll stay connected.