Teen Mom: Maci and Ryan Go to Court Over Bentley

Should a Child Be Geographically Close to Both Parents?

September 9, 2010

Does putting miles between a parent and child strain their relationship? When couples head to Splitsville, custody can become an intense issue if a mom or pop decides to move. While a short distance isn't likely to hinder visitation, a bigger move might. How important do you think it is for a youngster to live near both parents?

9 Comments

2 years

Its not fair for maci though. Because ryan hasn't been a dad and it looks like now that maci wants to move on and move away he wants his son but in past episodes when has he ever actually been there? And maci even said that she asked him if he could watch him when it wasnt his "usual" day and he said no...thats not showing that he wants time with bentley that badly. So I don't think he should get anymore time with him. He messed up so thats his fault, maybe he shouldve been a dad in the first place and not go out every night and party with other girls when he had a baby at home.

2 years

I can't say either because it entirely depends on the situation. I grew up with my father abroad most of the time. This meant that I spent holidays with him but stayed with my mom during the school year, but we are still quite close. Are we as close as could be? No. But who says we would be closer if we had actually lived together? I have friends who lived with their fathers and have a bad relationship with them. I have friends whose fathers lived in the same community, but who never had any contact with them. My dad may have been physically absent for most of my childhood, but he put a lot of effort in staying in touch with me, and this was before e-mail and skype, so he sent letters, presents, pictures and tapes and called every week. As for staying one week with dad and one week with mom, I have known many children who grew up that way, and I have never really seen any of them having suffered for it. You get used to it and it gets normal. As long as you have your own space at each parents home it's not really a big deal unless the parents constantly bad mouth or work against each other. A friend of mine had her own room at her mothers house and shared a room with her two step sisters at her dads, and she usually says she had the best of two worlds when she grew up, every other week she was a pampered only/youngest child (her stepfather had three sons from a previous marriage, but they were 15-25 years older than her, so she never lived with them) and one in a big brood of children, with two sisters very close in age. Sure, it may not be an ideal solution, but as long as every one makes an effort to make the best of it, the child will be fine, or even thrive.

starbucks 2 years

Anonymous, do you really think it would be good for a toddler to not have a steady home but to switch weekly? Bad idea, IMO... And I also agree with skigurl. It doesn't have to negatively affect the relationship, but it takes a lot of hard work!

starbucks 2 years

Anonymous, do you really think it would be good for a toddler to not have a steady home but to switch weekly? Bad idea, IMO...And I also agree with skigurl. It doesn't have to negatively affect the relationship, but it takes a lot of hard work!

amber512 2 years

I completely agree, skigurl!

amber512 2 years

I completely agree, skigurl!

2 years

I think that in an ideal world parents would stay together and be happy, or they would live veryclose, but we don't live in that world. I think what's best is for a child to grow up in a loving home with the parents being in the best possible situation. Sometimes that means the child moves along with one parent to put both of them into a better situation such as schooling and jobs being better in a different location. In the case of Ryan and Macy, I wonder why, if Ryan actually wants more time with his son, why don't they split the custody to be weekly. One week with Macy, one week with Ryan and so on. This would allow equal time with each parent, minimal travel for each parent, and each parent to be in a good home situation.

skigurl 2 years

Even if you vote no, I don't think anyone can say "distance DOESN'T put a strain on the parent/child bond"...of course it would, if the parent and child don't see each other very often. You're not going to remain insanely close to anyone if you never see them.Yes, geographical distance is important, but if it's impossible, frequent visits are a must to keep the bond alive. Especially when the child is young and in their formative years.

skigurl 2 years

Even if you vote no, I don't think anyone can say "distance DOESN'T put a strain on the parent/child bond"...of course it would, if the parent and child don't see each other very often. You're not going to remain insanely close to anyone if you never see them. Yes, geographical distance is important, but if it's impossible, frequent visits are a must to keep the bond alive. Especially when the child is young and in their formative years.

Link Love

9 Comments