Stealing Baby Names

Have You Fallen Victim to Baby Namenapping?

January 4, 2008

If you want to talk about drama for baby mamas, bring up names. From name changing to name stealing, monikers have become a big to do. Emotions often run high when couples finally come up with a name they can agree on only to have it swiped by a friend, family member or acquaintance.

Where do you stand on this issue?

73 Comments

coldchaos 1 year 14 weeks

i am about to have my first child, a girl, who we are naming Nova Claire. But before we knew the gender, we discussed boy and girl names. I was set on Tristan if it was a boy. I liked the name so much, I considered using it as a girls name (it's used just not as common). My best friend just got married and went off her birth control. The other day she tells me, "If we have a boy, we're naming him Tristan" !!! She seemed to not remember any of our discussions about this name! I reminded her, and she (feigned?) distant memory, like "Oh...yeah? You did say that, huh?". In a way, it's flattering. I'm not mad, and I know she had no ill or competitive intentions, but if I do have another child, and it is a boy (or even a girl), I'm still using it!! I understand, because I had a very hard time coming up with names I actually liked on multiple levels...so I can't balme her for using one when she finds it, no matter how she finds it. Bottom line: it depends on the stealing party's intention, and how much it affects you. If you are having children of the same age who will be around each other a lot, then it will be confusing, leaving you with a tough decision, and that's unfair and rude!

2 years 30 weeks

One of my closest friends just gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Her first name is very unique and for the longest time, we couldn't think of a good middle name for her. About a week ago, I was on the phone with my then pregnant friend and was on a website looking for middle names for her daughter. Her response was "no" to every single one of them; we ended the conversation with her saying, "I just don't think she's going to have a middle name! Oh well." Anyway.. I was VERY surprised to have gotten a mass text from my friend after giving birth, she had announced that her middle name was actually my mom's maiden name.... A name that was a favorite of mine for when I was to have children. Now, I'm not pregnant and I don't plan to become pregnant for quite some time. But, considering this is a dear, dear friend of mine, and we've had many-a-conversation about what we'd name our children and this particular name was ALWAYS on my radar because it is a family name and is very important to me to pass it on, i NEVER in a million years would have thought she'd use that name for any of her children. I was in love with her daughter before she was born and I would never show any kind of animosity towards that beautiful baby... But i was and am very hurt that she went about using that name the way she did... ~ Sad friend/auntie :(

2 years 33 weeks

I don´t understand that if I like the same name as my friend does I have to give my some a different name just because she told it out loud before. Nobody names her son or daughter after somebody else´s picked name just to bother that person

2 years 33 weeks

Do to opinions (good and bad) we kept the name of our son a secret until after he was born. With our second child, they were unable to see the sex of the baby at the ultrasound, so we came up with a boys list (which consisted of only 1 mutually agreed upon name) and a girls list (which contained 6). Since none of our friends or family members were pregnant this time around, we decided to share the names on our lists.... when I was 8 months pregnant, his friends wife got a puppy and named the dog our one and only boy name! Seven years later, and I still can't forgive her, and everytime I see the dog, I only call him "puppy". Thankfully for us, we ended up having a daughter, because if it has been another boy, he would have gone home as simply "baby boy"

Katrin Mezger 3 years 35 weeks

My husband and I would never have chosen a name for one of our four children, that some of our close friends or family members has given to one of their children. This understanding is possibly why it hit us very hard, that my brother in law and his girl friend named their first child the same as we did our last one fourteen months ago, not knowing they even tried to get pregnant or knowing its on top of her list. I never thought about baby names before I was pregnant, so it was new to me that someone could be so focused on one name. It is just not very sensible and a bit reckless to do this, family suffers, it takes a toll on all at the end. I think there is a big enough selection of names out there, so that everybody can find a name they like and doesn't conflict with any others. Our grandma has now two granddaughters carrying the same name, would have been avoidable, if people would not put their own wishes first and stay a bit flexible. Passing down a name from generation to generation is o.k. if parents chose to do so voluntarily, but it is not healthy giving the same name within the same generation, which I call an unwritten law not to do so. You want the new little person you 've brought into this world, adore, cherish and love growing up with their own identity and meaning, the name is part of it doubtlessly. Having and naming a child is not all about your dreams come true. Names should be picked wisely and responsibly.Once you named your child it's irreversible. If you have a friend and want to keep him as a friend rethink your name choice if it collides. Believe me, at the end everybody ends up hurt. So no win for everybody, avoidable in my opinion. Don't tell other people your name preferences, if others close to you have a child first and used "your name" unknowingly , talk to them, if they would mind, you are using the same name or be flexible and chose another one. If everybody would do this, name napping and hurt relationships would be history.

Katrin Mezger 3 years 35 weeks

My husband and I would never have chosen a name for one of our four children, that some of our close friends or family members has given to one of their children. This understanding is possibly why it hit us very hard, that my brother in law and his girl friend named their first child the same as we did our last one fourteen months ago, not knowing they even tried to get pregnant or knowing its on top of her list. I never thought about baby names before I was pregnant, so it was new to me that someone could be so focused on one name. It is just not very sensible and a bit reckless to do this, family suffers, it takes a toll on all at the end.I think there is a big enough selection of names out there, so that everybody can find a name they like and doesn't conflict with any others. Our grandma has now two granddaughters carrying the same name, would have been avoidable, if people would not put their own wishes first and stay a bit flexible. Passing down a name from generation to generation is o.k. if parents chose to do so voluntarily, but it is not healthy giving the same name within the same generation, which I call an unwritten law not to do so. You want the new little person you 've brought into this world, adore, cherish and love growing up with their own identity and meaning, the name is part of it doubtlessly.Having and naming a child is not all about your dreams come true. Names should be picked wisely and responsibly.Once you named your child it's irreversible.If you have a friend and want to keep him as a friend rethink your name choice if it collides. Believe me, at the end everybody ends up hurt. So no win for everybody, avoidable in my opinion.Don't tell other people your name preferences, if others close to you have a child first and used "your name" unknowingly , talk to them, if they would mind, you are using the same name or be flexible and chose another one. If everybody would do this, name napping and hurt relationships would be history.

Katrin Mezger 3 years 35 weeks

My husband and I would never have chosen a name for one of our four children, that some of our close friends or family members has given to one of their children. This understanding is possibly why it hit us very hard, that my brother in law and his girl friend named their first child the same as we did our last one fourteen months ago, not knowing they even tried to get pregnant or knowing its on top of her list. I never thought about baby names before I was pregnant, so it was new to me that someone could be so focused on one name. It is just not very sensible and a bit reckless to do this, family suffers, it takes a toll on all at the end. I think there is a big enough selection of names out there, so that everybody can find a name they like and doesn't conflict with any others. Our grandma has now two granddaughters carrying the same name, would have been avoidable, if people would not put their own wishes first and stay a bit flexible. Passing down a name from generation to generation is o.k. if parents chose to do so voluntarily, but it is not healthy giving the same name within the same generation, which I call an unwritten law not to do so. You want the new little person you 've brought into this world, adore, cherish and love growing up with their own identity and meaning, the name is part of it doubtlessly.Having and naming a child is not all about your dreams come true. Names should be picked wisely and responsibly.Once you named your child it's irreversible.If you have a friend and want to keep him as a friend rethink your name choice if it collides. Believe me, at the end everybody ends up hurt. So no win for everybody, avoidable in my opinion.Don't tell other people your name preferences, if others close to you have a child first and used "your name" unknowingly , talk to them, if they would mind, you are using the same name or be flexible and chose another one. If everybody would do this, name napping and hurt relationships would be history.

Katrin Mezger 3 years 35 weeks

3 years 41 weeks

My best friend just delivered a baby girl last night and stole my future baby name. Now, I am not pregnant, but am trying to be. Which makes it even worse I think. Not only am I having trouble getting pregnant, but my best friend steals my baby name?!?! Priceless... not to mention this is common knowledge in our relationship, even my husband is pissed as know we cannot use it! This friendship is over. If she had come to me before and admitted she like the name for herself, I would have been pissed, but let it go. Devastating!

3 years 42 weeks

THANK GOD I FOUND THIS WEBSITE . I HAVE A QUESTION ! ME AND MY SISTER IN LAW HAD OUR BABIES ONE MONTH APART THEY ARE ALMOST 2 YEARS OLD NOW . I CALL MY DAUGHTER BY HER NICKNAME MEME SINCE SHE WAS BORN . ONE DAY WHEN THEY WHERE ABOUT 5 MONTHS WE HEARD HER CALLING MY NIECE TWICE BY THE SAME NAME MEME OF COURSE I FELT HORRIBLE BUT I DID NOT ASK WHY OR WHATTT NOTHING ! WELL I TRY TO CHANGE MY DAUGHTER NICKNAME MORE THAN 10 TIMES STILL NONE OF THEM GROW ON US BUT MEME . NOW SHE IS CALLING MY NIECE MEME ALL THE TIME 3 MONTHS NOW THAT SHE IS DOING IT MORE AND MORE AND IT BOTHERS ME A LOT WHEN WE VISIT. EVEN WHEN WE ARE NOW CALLING MY DAUGHTER BY MIMI WHY AM I STILL SO MAD WHAT CAN I DO ,MY HUSBAND ALSO MAD MY OTHER DAUGHTER SHE IS 11 YEARS OLD ALMOST SEND HER AN EMAIL ASKING WHY , THANK GOD I GOT TO HER BEFORE SHE SEND THAT EMAIL . ALSO THE FIRST TIME WE HEARD HER CALLING HER MEME @ 5 MONTHS I CALL MY BROTHER AND ASK HIM WHY AND WHEN ? HE WAS LIKE I DON'T KNOW NOW I GUESS .. NOW AM MAD BUT I HAVE NOT IDEA WHY ? WE FOUND ANOTHER NICKNAME BUT WHEN WE VISIT SHE WOULD OVER DO IT CALLING HER MEME MEME MEME . IS MY NIECE I LOVE HER TO DEAD BUT STILL BOTHERS ME . WHAT SHOULD I DO ?

3 years 45 weeks

I'm pretty upset. My husband and I spent months deciding on the perfect name for our baby. I name that came to me in a dream before he was even concieved is the name that we wound up with. And The baby is four months old, we find out my brother and sister-in-law are planning on using the exact same name for their daughter. Not even changing the spelling ! These are the only two grandkids and I am just furious, angry and really really irritated. I don't want my son to have his only baby girl cousin having the same name, the same spelling. I feel this is totally wrong and I really wish, at the very least that they would consider a different spelling so there's some differientation. I don't think I will ever get over this. I'm really upset about it. It's wrong to take a baby's name when they are in close proximity, cousins, same family, same holidays etc. I really can't believe they don't see anything wrong with this !

aiek2008 4 years 25 weeks

Well, just wanted to comment about the baby name thing. I just found out that my sister in law is going to name her unborn son with a baby name I had picked out for our future son. The name is after my husband's name, her brother. She has known this name we have picked out for 7 years and it really hurts. What more can I say? I was hoping to name our son after his father. Still haven't decided against it however. There may just have to be cousins with the same name. Anyhow, it is pretty disappointing.

Chezhire71 4 years 51 weeks

I am going to weigh in on this topic, since it's relevant to my family. I had my first child, a little girl, a little over 2 years ago. It took us months to decide upon our girl name and our boy name (we chose only one of each, i.e., there wasn't a short list, etc.) and everyone in our families knew our choices. We had a little girl, so our boy name remains unused, and everyone knows I'd still like to try for at least one more child. Fast forward to today: my little sister, who was "potty-mouth pissed off" when her future step-mother-in-law named her adopted female dog using the name my little sister had planned to use for a little girl, has now informed us all that their boy name is none-other-than our boy name. My immediate response to her was, "well, that's our boy name, so be warned that if we have a little boy in the future, we will still use that name, even if you do decide to use it." I can't begin to tell you how hypocritical I think my little sister is, but, frankly, when it gets down to it, neither my husband nor I really care what name they use and we'll still use the name if we have a boy. Having said that, I would never use a name that a family member or close friend had chosen for either sex, unless I knew they were not having any more children and I'd spoken to my family member/friend about it, but that's the difference between me and my little sister.

Chezhire71 4 years 51 weeks

AKirstin 5 years 9 weeks

I have never worried about it, because (A) none of our friends were even close to being ready to have their own babies before we did, we were barely 22/23, and (B) we like really offbeat names that no one else would likely pick... our daughter's name is Velouria Enid. I can't say I even considered what anyone else thought of our choices.

valentin 5 years 11 weeks

We just had a baby girl. We live in a very small town. Our name was unusual. Most people have never heard it before and ask how it is spelled. Our neighbour's sister lives at the end of the block and had a baby girl 2 weeks later. When I stopped to congradulate them on the birth of their daughter and asked her name they told me that they heard what we called our daughter and liked it so much that they choose it too!! (but they spelled it different, they dropped the "e") Now every where I go in our small community and people stop to ask her name I hear about oh so and so just had a baby with the same name. It is mortifying! Some people might think that who cares it is just a name, but now there are 2 girls on the same street born the same month with the same unusual name! My neighbour actually asked me if I was going to move and they stole my name!! Oh well just a name right????

HipMom 5 years 15 weeks

I think it's pathetic and rude to steal someone's babyname, be it a friend or a relative. I would never do it to anyone and I woulnd't like it if someone did it to me - I think I'd be pretty annoyed actually. But I think that counts most when it's an unusual name, something the person would probably not come up with on their own, unless they heard it somewhere else. I think it would be particularly obnoxious to steal a name from someone who is pregnant and is probably anxiously waiting for the arrival of their baby, whom they probably already call by the name they picked.

HipMom 5 years 15 weeks

Greggie 5 years 18 weeks

"How long can one have dibs on a name? If you discussed baby names with your friend in high school and are now 30, can you reasonably expect them to remember and not steal your baby name?" I don't think that's reasonable, no. But I think if someone's married and planning a child (or currently pregnant) and says "We'll use Jane if it's a girl and John if it's a boy," they can maintain "dibs" on the name of the gender they don't end up having. If that makes sense. Unless of course they decide they're only having the one child.

Greggie 5 years 18 weeks

"How long can one have dibs on a name? If you discussed baby names with your friend in high school and are now 30, can you reasonably expect them to remember and not steal your baby name?"I don't think that's reasonable, no.But I think if someone's married and planning a child (or currently pregnant) and says "We'll use Jane if it's a girl and John if it's a boy," they can maintain "dibs" on the name of the gender they don't end up having. If that makes sense. Unless of course they decide they're only having the one child.

kikidawn 5 years 19 weeks

Stealing baby names is mean!But I basically agree with what Cate McG said.

kikidawn 5 years 19 weeks

Stealing baby names is mean! But I basically agree with what Cate McG said.

Cate McG 5 years 19 weeks

How long can one have dibs on a name? If you discussed baby names with your friend in high school and are now 30, can you reasonably expect them to remember and not steal your baby name? This happened to my friend "Jane." Her high school friend "Sue" was really ticked at her for taking the name Sue called dibs on 14 years before. I think that's crazy. If you and your friends are nowhere near having children, I don't think it's fair to claim a name and expect everyone to consider it yours for the next three decades. Of course, if your annoying sister-in-law has her baby two months before yours is due and takes the name you told her you were using, that's a different story. :-)

Cate McG 5 years 19 weeks

gruaig_rua 5 years 19 weeks

:ROTFL: @ CaterpillarGirl I can't believe people would allow other to actually vote on their kids name. Imagine if everyone did what you did - that kid now has the dumb name!

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