Spanking Kids

Do You Spank Your Children?

October 14, 2008

Raising children today is very different from what it was 30 years ago. In the 70s, parents hardly knew what a car seat was and many of them had no problem tossing their children over their laps for a quick swat to correct bad behavior. Today, youngsters are often praised for doing right instead of being condemned for doing wrong and spanking has practically become a dirty word in many mother's groups.

Do you have a hand in discipline — are you a spanker?

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55 Comments

3 years 20 weeks

What is wrong with you all? As one commentator has pointed out. The buttocks are a sexually sensitive area. So if you hit a child here you are sexually abusing them. Where do you think sado masochistic tendencies come from? Children whose first sexual experience is a violent one ie spanking or smacking on the bottom. To quote the bible in this respect just goes to show that it has been written by humans. I doubt if God would sanction the sexual abuse of children you advocate. how can hitting anyone of a sexual part of their anatomy without their consent not be sexual abuse? Use some God given intelligence when interpreting what is in the bible. Remember it has been used in the past to sanction genocide, slavery and racial discrimination as well as child abuse.

3 years 21 weeks

I go by what the bible reads and it says spare the rod spoil the child.. It can get overboard but spanking a child is still the best thing to do. My brother spanks my nephew if he is bad, he don't hurt him but he lets him know we don't act like that.. And we can anywhere and he isn't screaming or crying, I cant stand going somewhere and kids are crying and acting spoil. Its annoying parents need to get a grip on their kids. We got the belt it hurt but we knew how to act. And people enjoyed being around us.

3 years 34 weeks

my child do wrong he or she will be spank it parent right other person have no say in it

3 years 35 weeks

Well, I believe in the Bible and the doctrine in the Bible relating to everything. I use the Bible as my guideline for everything in my home from how to have a relationship with the Lord to how to have a manageable home to rearing my own kids. Let me clarify spanking, it's a Biblical loving of correction not abuse. If you grab your kid and swing your hand along the backside, head, arm, hand, anything... that's not Biblical correction. Biblical correction is more of explaining to your child what he/she did wrong more than the spanking itself. Plus, when the kids are really young, like crawling age to maybe 3 depending on the kid, it's not correction... it's training.. they don't know better so we are teaching them that there are some things that are meant not to be touched or obedience is the best way to go. What I do with my kids... (my method is from the Bible and very effective! You don't need to child proof your home.. you need to home proof your child.) I have no baby gates, all my stuff is where they should belong not put away high enough where the kids can't reach it. They learn very young and quickly which can and can't be touched and we are all happy and relaxed knowing that my stuff are safe. For example with young children from the time when they are crawling and know the word no (believe it or not, babies learn the word no before they are crawling) when they touch a forbidden object, (it's not called correction, it's a great training time) I say no, once and watch.. they will look at you and wonder what the word no, and become curious... touch it again... I say no again.... they touch it again... but this time, I say no, accompained with a small flick on their chubby back of their hand, not enough to hurt but enough to feel it. I only repeated that maybe 2-3 times then they lost interest in that. I do set up training tools, like forbidden sharp objects such as knives (I use a dull plastic knife so less injury and very close watch), my keys, things like that... in no time they will learn it's better to keep off the forbidden stuff and stick to what Mommy bought them! :) Then there will come a time when your chubby angel turns in a very active youngster... Correction is more likely in this time and age range... around 18 months to 5 years. Correction is only for disobedience, defiance, and disrespect. My 3D's which request immediate correction... Obedience is the head rule in our house... obey, obey, obey no matter what because it could save their life. We live in a country house out in where there are snakes, other animals are more harmful than good... One time, my daughter when she was only 19 months, knew obedience very well, was playing in the field and there was a snake coming up to her, I told her to freeze... she instantly obeyed and stood there and didn't move a muscle (a 19 month old) until I killed the snake. Obedience.... There's no 3 strikes, none of that... 1 strike and you are out, period. Obedience is carried out immediately. When you don't obey... I always say go to your room..... then come in shortly afterwards.... Then I will ask what did you do wrong, then why will I give you a correction.... Then have them bend over their bed and give them swats with a wooden spoon (never with your hand, separate yourself with the discipline) according to their ages, and severity of the offense, normally by their ages... Then I sit on the bed and cuddle them, and ask again why I just corrected them. They will recite their misdeeds usually... I always say it was because you disobeyed, disrespected, or was defiant.. whatever what they did... I don't care about what they did. The point was that they disobeyed, that's it.. I always emphasize the 3D's not the actual misbehavior and it really help them learn how to behave. I have followed this method with all 4 kids of mine (5th on the way!!!) It works wonders... It's not about spanking or correction, it's about teaching your kids from right and wrong and have right morals for themselves and others.

3 years 36 weeks

My sons are 9 and 11 and I find that on occiassion, a bare bottom spanking with an open hand is effective.

bchicgrl 3 years 38 weeks

I wasn't spanked as a child, my mom and grandmother had this look that if I did something wrong I automatically knew and would just go straight to my room without saying a word. I hope to have the same look with my kids :)

3 years 41 weeks

Child buttock-battering vs. DISCIPLINE: Child buttock-battering for the purpose of gaining compliance is nothing more than an inherited bad habit. Its a good idea for people to take a look at what they are doing and learn how to DISCIPLINE instead of hit. I think the reason why television shows like "Supernanny" and "Dr. Phil" are so popular is because that is precisely what many (not all) people are trying to do. There are several reasons why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea. Here are some good, quick reads recommended by professionals: Plain Talk About Spanking by Jordan Riak, The Sexual Dangers of Spanking Children by Tom Johnson, NO VITAL ORGANS THERE, So They Say by Lesli Taylor M.D. and Adah Maurer Ph.D. Most compelling of all reasons to abandon this worst of all bad habits is the fact that buttock-battering can be unintentional sexual abuse for some children. There is an abundance of educational literature, testimony, documentation, etc available on the subject that can easily be found by doing a little research on the topic. Just a handful of those who are helping to raise awareness of why child buttock-battering isn't a good idea: American Academy of Pediatrics American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Center For Effective Discipline PsycHealth Ltd Behavioral Health Professionals Churches' Network For Non-Violence Nobel Peace Prize recipient Archbishop Desmond Tutu Parenting In Jesus' Footsteps Global Initiative To End All Corporal Punishment of Children United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child Countries where child buttock-battering is prohibited by law: Sweden, Finland, Norway, Austria, Cyprus, Italy, Denmark, Latvia, Croatia, Bulgaria, Germany, Israel, Iceland, Ukraine, Romania, Hungary, Greece, Netherlands, New Zealand, Portugal, Uruguay, Venezuela, Chile, Spain, Costa Rica, Republic of Moldova, and more in process. In fact, the US was the only UN member that did not ratify the Convention on the Rights of the Child.

3 years 42 weeks

the term spank pertains to a pre sexual act aswell so you have to be careful because spank a child sounds pedophillic when it comes to a child it should be smacking not spanking

3 years 44 weeks

Hi... im a 13 years girl. i dont spank. i get spanked. and actually i think its okey. when i do something wrong i get grounded or mom take my cell-phone. but when i do something really bad dad spanks me. i like it and i hate it. i remember first time i got spanked. me and some friends were out. and smoked. then mom was driving to the shop, same shop we were sitting whit. my mom took me in the ear and we walked to the car. mom locked the car and went shoping. then we drived home. dad sat on my room. i didnt understand what i meant when he told me to take my pents of. so i did it. and he took e in the arm and got me over his knees. then he told me how "bad" i have been. so it started. he was not angry anymore and he just used his hand. in 30 minutes he spanked me. hard but not to hard. my boot was red but not blue. and it was over. and i think... or know that teens need to be spanked sometimes. but not to hard and just whit the hand and not in anger. BUT children over 18 or under 13 should NOT be spanked.

3 years 45 weeks

My parents spanked me. They used a paddle and gave me a few swats on my bare-bottom. It hurt and I learned to behave.

3 years 46 weeks

Everything said Divine guidance tells us: (Proverbs 13:24) 24 The one holding back his rod is hating his son, but the one loving him is he that does look for him with discipline. (Proverbs 22:15) 15 Foolishness is tied up with the heart of a boy; the rod of discipline is what will remove it far from him. (Proverbs 23:13-14) 13 Do not hold back discipline from the mere boy. In case you beat him with the rod, he will not die. 14 With the rod you yourself should beat him, that you may deliver his very soul from She′ol itself. (Proverbs 29:15) 15 The rod and reproof are what give wisdom; but a boy let on the loose will be causing his mother shame. However it also says: (Galatians 5:22-23) . . .On the other hand, the fruitage of the spirit is love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faith, 23 mildness, self-control. . . Spanking should be administered with self control and NEVER administered in ANGER!

3 years 46 weeks

Spanking, in my view, should be done only rarely, when you think it is necessary for your child to remember when s/he does something seriously wrong. It should be done only to children who are not yet at "the age of reason" -- i.e., mostly pre-schoolers. No anger need be shown, it should not be hard or prolonged, and talking about it before and after is a must.

3 years 47 weeks

As for Renees3's comment about the child in Target, here is my suggestion for how to handle a similar situation. Before you go to the store, you have to remember to instruct your children on the behavior(s) you expect them to show in that situation. We as adults sometimes forget that children need to be reminded (seeminly constantly sometimes) about how to behave. You may also choose to tell the child that they will receive a reward if they show those specific behaviors. (Don't just say "if you are good", define what that means for the child.) If the child is behaving as you have asked, PRAISE him or her. Talk and interact with your child as you are shopping. Don't just treat them as if it is inconvenient to have them around. If they misbehave or throw a tantrum, calmly and quickly remove them from the store - even if it means you have to leave an entire cart of merchandise behind.

3 years 47 weeks

First of all, let me say that I have no children. I believe spanking is OK under certain circumstances. As many of you know, children can sometimes drive you over the edge. I don't believe in spanking just because you are angry with the children. I believe that a parent should be calm themselves before they start spanking a child. I know that sometimes, parents spank in the heat of the moment, and they shouldn't. When that happens, it CAN lead to abuse. I have 4 great grand children, and I seldom spank them when I watch them. I try to hold my temper, settle myself down, and I try to explain to them why they did something bad. I give them a chance. Then, if they turn around and do the samething again on purpose, then I give them a smack. Especially when I know they are doing it to push me to see if I will spank them. When I was young, my parents made me go get a switch. When that happened, I knew I was going to get it. When I didn't get a big enough one, I was told to go get another. I was only switched 2 or 3 times, and I can honestly say that they were not bad. Just a couple of whacks taught me not to disobey my parents. I feel that I grew up a lot more respectful than most. I feel that it is OK to use a switch. After all it is a Biblical principal. Spare the rod, spoil the child. I don't believe that a switch should be applied repeatedly, 5 or 10 times, but I believe that once a child has tasted the switch, the idea of them getting hit again goes a long way towards their positive behavior. One or 2 hits with the switch is usually enough. Just the threat of the switch usually stops the bad behavior at once. If I tell them I'm going to go get the switch, they settle instantly, and if they don't, I will, on occasion use my hand on their buttocks. I will also just pull my belt out of my pants and that usually stops the bad behavior. My grandchildren know when I am angry, and usually when they see my look, they won't press any further. I don't believe that anything I have ever done, even remotely would be consider abuse, but I have certainly seen it in public. When a parent repeatedly hits a child 5 or 6 times, that is what I consider abuse. Especially when the child is hit so hard as to bend their body. I have seen that. That is disgusting, and that is what I consider abuse. To lift a child off the ground to beat them is also what I consider abuse. To hit once or twice with a switch will certainly teach a child not to behave badly more than getting beat repeatedly with the hand 5 or 6 times. I keep a switch handy, and I have only hit the grandchildren one time each with it, just a love tap to let them know what it would feel like if they were to get hit like it would be applied for real. Each of them has had just that little taste, and when I even threaten to go get the switch, it quickly puts an end to the bad stuff. I don't feel that I have abused them, I just want them to behave, and the threat does the trick.

3 years 47 weeks

there is nothing wrong with spanking a child if you use the right method it is a process and the difference between spanking and abuse all depends on how long you spank them, what object you use, and most of all the intent that you have while spanking

3 years 48 weeks

Human behavior science has discovered spanking can somtimes create sadomasochistic fetishes. I suffered that fate. Why risk robbing a childs sexuality for life? Expensive therapy unconvered unconscios repressed trauma from a ritulized deliberately shameing proceedure being stripped to semi nudity with genital exposure to my mother and then put over her knee and spanked by her hand. Now I live with rage and hate of her memory and an attraction to sexual masochism which caused marraige issues. Go ahead an endorse or spank you kids and risk robbing them emotionally or sexually.

4 years 1 week

I am a spanker but I only spank for my daughter's benefit. I took her by the hand and spanked her 3 times on her panted, skirt up bottom (sort of like the picture only the skirt is a darker green and her skirt was up above her waist). I would never spank my son or daughter bare nor more that 7 times. I think that is the limit between a spanking and abuse.

mia marie39 4 years 31 weeks

i don't believe in spanking don't think hitting is necessary to get it through a kids head. plus i really want to teach my children how the real world works and in it if you do something bad someone doesn't spank you. but what really made me make that the decision not to is i think kids don't fully understand alot of time why they are being spanked and could lead to low self esteem and also i don't think i can tell my kids not to hit someone else when they do something they don't like and when my kid does something i don't like i hit them. i don't want to be hypocritical in anyway i want to lead by example.

milosmommy 4 years 31 weeks

My son's still too little for punishment really, but I would spank if necessary. It would probably be a last resort of if it was a major offense like darting into the street.

LiLRuck44 4 years 31 weeks

I don't, but I don't have a problem with it if it is done in a calm, disciplinary manner. Not an "I have no control over you, so I will use the only thing I have, which is my strength" sort of thing. I will spank to draw attention to a serious offense, like if my kids ever dart into traffic, etc. Hasn't happened yet, but I would be okay with that scenario. We use time outs and take away privileges, it works pretty well.

LiLRuck44 4 years 31 weeks

keiren63 4 years 31 weeks

The problem with spankings is that when spankings were last used as a predominate form of discipline, was at the same time when there was next to no public awareness of child abuse and no system in place to deal with it. Now, we all have such a consciousness of it: there are tv commercials, our children are talked to about it at school and, in Canada, teachers have an obligation to report parents if they think there is the slightest chance of abuse. While there definitely were parents who overdid the physical discipline, and spanking could be abusive, it isn't always. Many of our generation were spanked as kids and survived just fine. We may not have liked them--that was kinda the point--it did not ruin our self-esteem forever. Or even longer than a few minutes. A quick whack on the bottom for children over 2, under 9 or ten, is not abuse.

keiren63 4 years 31 weeks

I'm a little confused--what the heck do car seats and spankings have to do with each other????? THat was a very bizarre sentence. You seem to be implying that parents were irresponsible about personal safety for their children and that spankings are equatable with driving a child not in a car seat????? That is one heckuva value judgment.

Pallas Athena 4 years 31 weeks

For every kid there is a way to discipline them that will actually get them to behave. With some children spanking works, getting put in the corner works, etc., etc.. If my child every does something so bad or doesn't listen after a lot of other punishments don't work, then I will spank the child. I probably wouldn't do it very hard, but if that is the only punishment that will work after trying other ones then it needs to be done. Spanking all the time isn't good and neither is yelling constantly, but every now and then it is okay to spank.

lauraxtc 4 years 31 weeks

I don't think spanking is a bad thing. Of course don't over do it either. I only spank my son when he has done something wrong. But usually I just take his privileges away and ground him.

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