Should Couples Tell Their Families That They Are Trying to Get Pregnant?

We're Trying!: Should You Tell Your Family About Baby Plans?

September 21, 2010

Trying for a baby doesn't guarantee it will happen. While some couples like to announce their efforts toward starting a family, others choose to keep their actions between the sheets until they result in a positive pregnancy test. Grandparents-to-be can get excited and awfully eager about the prospect of having a grandchild. Last night on How I Met Your Mother, Marshall told his dad he and Lily were trying and she felt pressured. What's your opinion?

Photo courtesy of CBS

15 Comments

2 years 33 weeks

Yes, because everyone wants to know that you're having unprotected sex now.

2 years 33 weeks

I found it easier to tell my family and his. I thought we wouldn't receive the support however everyone seems to be on board with this is a good thing. Since I also have PCOS, my family have become a major support when I see a negative every month. We're on a break since I may have to have surgery on my knee, but most of the family has offered some suggestions that haven't been just relax... like that ALWAYS works. The downfall to that is that my grandmother is overly excited and at any mention of baby from me she's asking me if I'm making an announcement. One of my aunts that I thought wouldn't be supportive is telling me to check on thing which I hadn't thought about... acidity levels. So when we get back on the BD machine then we'll test on that. It should be a couple's choice though. If they want to tell they should be able to and get the support from the families. If they don't want to tell then that's up to them and no one should pressure a couple into telling or trying to have a baby because in some cases that can create unneeded stress which can make TTC a bit harder.

2 years 33 weeks

I think it is totally dependent on the couple and the relationship they have with their families. I can definitely see both sides of it, especially if you end up having difficulties or miscarriages. Our parents have never been the "when are we gonna get grandkids" type so we had no problem just letting them know that we were giving it a try. I think we may keep it to ourselves when we try for the next one, just because it will be our 3rd and most likely last baby, so I want to be selfish and keep it just to ourselves for awhile.

2 years 34 weeks

We didn't tell with our first one, but after I had a miscarriage in between my two kids, I think people assumed we were trying again. I think people, especially family, need to mind their own business instead of implying they want grandchildren. (or more grandchildren) Luckily it didn't take us long. We used a product called pre-seed, which is a sperm friendly lubricant. I believe it really helps the swimmers get to where they need to go.

WarEagleNurse 2 years 34 weeks

Yes

amber512 2 years 34 weeks

Thanks. I hope so :)

lawchick 2 years 34 weeks

Agree with lilkimbo. We didn't tell anyone except a couple of close friends. We're very private people, so that wasn't out of character for us. I was especially glad we DIDN'T tell people when it ended up taking about 2 years. It would've added to our heartache to have people asking all the time "are you pregnant yet?" or even just "how's it going? [wink]" good luck Amber - it will happen for you :)

starbucks 2 years 34 weeks

I don't think you 'should' do either. Like lilkombo said, as long as you and your partner agree you 'can' do as you please. I wouldn't, though. I'm not comfortable talking about sex with my in-laws ;) When I announced I was pregant I felt like it was me saying 'Hey, grandpa, I've had sex ! I can be really prudish....

RoaringSilence 2 years 34 weeks

I would want to, so everyone can prepare mentally. Or maybe because I want to prove to my parents that not everything I do is completely unplanned and accidental :( (that's really sad, isn't it?)

amber512 2 years 34 weeks

My friends and family all know that my husband and I have been trying for over three years. Even my coworkers know. Then again, I work in a church child care and that sort of stuff comes up!

Studio16 2 years 34 weeks

Also, the vote yes option says "It's exciting for everyone". Not really. I couldn't care less that you're trying.

Studio16 2 years 34 weeks

It's rather awkward. I have an aunt who did that. "GUYS X AND I ARE TRYING!" Um, thanks for sharing. I really want the mental picture of you guys fucking like rabbits. Hawt. Just keep that under wraps until you're actually pregnant.

2 years 34 weeks

I have always thought it was so uncomfortable when people made an "we are trying" announcement. Its like saying WE ARE HAVING A LOT OF SEX AND WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW. But, hey, who knows? I have never been in the position to make an announcement like that so I might be one one telling everyone. Although knowing me, I doubt it.

amandachalynn 2 years 34 weeks

In our case we are very close to our families. Everyone knew we were trying. I don't view it as pressure, rather I have a large support group full of people rooting for us. I can easily see how someone else would feel uncomfortable though. I think the most important thing is what lilkimbo said. Both partners should be in total agreement.

lilkimbo 2 years 34 weeks

I don't really think there is a correct answer for every couple. I do, however think that the couple should be in agreement on whether they should tell people and on whom they should tell.

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