First of all, am not married yet. I am in a wonderful relationship with a great man. I moved in with him last year, and we agreed we'd do all we wanted to before having babies – after marriage of course. We planned to get married in December 2011.
I recently felt tired and we went to doctor where he told me am pregnant. I am not on a pill and we were drunk, and he ignored the condom. I felt all my dreams about my studies, around-the-world tours, parties, etc. just vanished. I also felt like l'd loose the love of my life – he isn't ready for this child. So I told him I'd get an abortion and he went crazy – saying that it is a life and abortion is a crime, we can't kill a baby just to go around the world, etc. He begged me not to feel bad about it, he'll be a good father, and after the baby is born we'll do everything like a family. I was astonished with how he reacted. He started getting home two hours earlier to make us dinner. He rests his head on my stomach and listens carefully for sounds from our baby-to-be. He also makes promises of good life – his "alone time room," which was full of books and gym equipment, is being painted to be the baby room. When my doctor said I had to stop smoking, he stopped smoking at house, he stopped drinking, his expensive dream car went to the bottom of the priorities list.
I want the baby, but am afraid to loose my "girlfriend" status to be "the mother of my child." I feel older. I love him so much and sometimes when he hugs me I really want to see the baby between us, but I don't want him to blame me in the future for wasting any chances he wanted because of my pregnancy. When I tell him this he says, "Family first. The baby is my motive now. I trust you. Don't take him away from me." I worked as a babysitter, as a teacher also, and I forgot my heartbreak when one of my students left the school – I stopped my teaching career then. I am afraid he has other children and he might not love ours like those of the other marriage. Is this all normal?