Rachel Zoe and Rodger Decide to Have Children

Does a Man Have Equal Say in the Baby Decision?

September 22, 2010

Does a man have equal say when it comes to having a bebe? Last night on The Rachel Zoe Project, the celebrity stylist and her husband, Rodger, talked and argued over the right time to have a child. At 38, Rachel's work has become her baby, but Rodg doesn't want their life to be all business, all the time. The tension mounted in the gynecologist's office when the doctor suggested Rachel get a blood test to see what her chances were for conceiving. Rodger was eager to move forward on a family, then Rachel refused to go straight to the lab. While it takes a willing man to create a child, since a woman carries and births the baby — is it ultimately her decision?

Photo courtesy of Bravo

17 Comments

Bettye Wayne 2 years 34 weeks

Anon 15 but shouldn't they sit down and discuss the fact that they'll work on their careers and then either have kids or not have kids? I couldn't imagine marrying someone without discussing that, and I think anyone who gets married without discussing it isn't taking their marriage seriously enough.

2 years 34 weeks

Yes it's ultimately the womans decision

2 years 34 weeks

@Betty Wayne: not necessarily. Lots of people work on their career first and then start thinking about babies. Of course, if you wait that long you have to know that it may no longer be easy or even possible.

Bettye Wayne 2 years 34 weeks

Aren't you and your husband supposed to decide on how many kids to have and when to have them before you reach your late 30s?

2 years 34 weeks

as much as people claim that the decision is 50/50 between men and women, it's not. yes, both parties must consent to having sex, but they don't both need to consent to having the baby. ultimately, if the woman decides to have/not have the baby, that's what's happening. a man can't make her keep the baby, have an abortion or give it up for adoption. unfortunately, men don't think of the consequences when deciding whether or not to sleep with someone. in a perfect world, they would think of the fact that if the woman gets pregnant, whether she has the baby is out of his control.

2 years 34 weeks

Our whole goal with womens rights was to be equal with men. And in alot of cases including the right to choose when, how,why to have a baby, we have more rights then they do now! I as a woman and a mom feels like the decision to have or keep a child should always be an equal decision. yes I am the one who gets pregnant and i birth them But It would never have happened if my husband was not involved. I believe in equal rights not one more than the other.

lickety split 2 years 34 weeks

I've never heard of this woman. How odd to have cameras record that discussion. Weird.

lickety split 2 years 34 weeks

If either partner says it's not the right time to have a baby; then it's not.

lawchick 2 years 34 weeks

Of course, if both parties are adults and respect each other, you wouldn't have the issue of a wife purposely "forgetting" her pill, but we all know it happens. In my case, I didn't stop birth control until we were both ready for the baby.

lawchick 2 years 34 weeks

Anon - I see what you mean, but most married couples are having sex and not using condoms (relying on her to use the pill or know when she's ovulating)... so sperm is pretty readily available :)

Deidre 2 years 34 weeks

I think in the case of Rachel and Rodg it's a moot point. With her lifestyle and health habits, I'm wondering how possible it would even be for her to get pregnant...

2 years 34 weeks

But lawchick, by the same token, if you wanted one and he didn't, can't he just withhold his sperm? Certainly you could use someone else's, but by the same theory he could use someone else's uterus. You either have a baby together or you don't, and since you need both parties to conceive, it can't ultimately come down to one or the other having more say. I think it should be a mutual decision. I agree that this is a stupid question.

lawchick 2 years 34 weeks

It should be equal, but in reality there has to be a tiebreaker, and that ends up being the woman. If my husband wanted a baby but I didn't, obviously it would be impossible for him to get what he wanted because I am in control of my body (birth control, etc.), and my body is necessary to carry and birth the child.

2 years 34 weeks

I'm just shocked that she's only 38!

missyd 2 years 34 weeks

If that woman could even concieve I'd be suprised

kurniakasih 2 years 34 weeks

Well, he should have a say because it's his sperm, but in reality, it does come down to the woman's decision, I believe. I mean, this is based on knowing a guy who didn't want to have a child but his ex found out she was pregnant after they broke up, and she wanted to have the child so now he's paying child support.

Studio16 2 years 35 weeks

Of course he has a say. It's his sperm, and he's going to have to pay for it for the next 18 years, whether he raises it or not. I'm disgusted that this is even a question.

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