Presents for Dads

The Pull Present

October 27, 2008

Presents for Dads

3 / 7

Daddy Book

Let dad know that he's not alone with the humorous She's Had a Baby — And I'm Having a Meltdown ($12) book by James Douglas Barron.

3 / 7

by babysugar 13

Daddy Book

Let dad know that he's not alone with the humorous She's Had a Baby — And I'm Having a Meltdown ($12) book by James Douglas Barron.

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13 Comments

Mel475 4 years 29 weeks

Myswriter - I agree with you in that it definitely shouldn't be viewed as "owed" to either parent in any way - that defeats the purpose (or what the purpose should be) and cheapens the occasion. The idea that my husband surprised me with such a thoughtful gift added to the specialness of that moment. I would never want him to feel like he owed me at all and was only giving me that gift to pay off some debt! It was, as you said, soley to celebrate the occasion and a token of affection. Greggie - I agree that the significant others should be on the same page! If receiving a gift like that makes a person feel awkward, regardless of the intent behind it, then it shouldn't be given. I think each set of parents has their own way of celebrating their joy with each other. This was nice for me and my husband but that doesn't make it right for everyone else. I think it's great that you and your hubby talked about it first so you both knew how the other felt and there were no hurt feelings either way.

Mel475 4 years 29 weeks

Myswriter - I agree with you in that it definitely shouldn't be viewed as "owed" to either parent in any way - that defeats the purpose (or what the purpose should be) and cheapens the occasion. The idea that my husband surprised me with such a thoughtful gift added to the specialness of that moment. I would never want him to feel like he owed me at all and was only giving me that gift to pay off some debt! It was, as you said, soley to celebrate the occasion and a token of affection.Greggie - I agree that the significant others should be on the same page! If receiving a gift like that makes a person feel awkward, regardless of the intent behind it, then it shouldn't be given. I think each set of parents has their own way of celebrating their joy with each other. This was nice for me and my husband but that doesn't make it right for everyone else. I think it's great that you and your hubby talked about it first so you both knew how the other felt and there were no hurt feelings either way.

myswriter 4 years 29 weeks

I agree with Akpril - personally I think the pull present (I'd always heard of it as a push present for the mom) is a little - I don't know, materialistic? I think commemorating the birth of a child with a present for either parent is a nice gesture, and if that's how people treated this, it would indeed be a wonderful idea. But now I hear women talking about it not as a commemorative gift but as their DUE for going through labor, bragging about what they got instead of bragging about the baby, acting like they'd BETTER get something nice or they going to be pissed. It's like they're owed something. Hey, I went through 22 hours of labor with my first and my husband was there with me through every step. I don't feel like I OWE him anything for being there - he SHOULD be there. And he didn't OWE me anything for having his child either. We got into that situation because we wanted to and we loved each other, period. Yes, we exchanged gifts, but they were to celebrate that we had embarked on this new role in our lives, not as payment for any services rendered, either my labor or his support. Like with so many other things, it's not what you do say, it's how you say it, and I think calling a gift upon the birth of a child a push or pull present is kind of crass.

kikidawn 4 years 29 weeks

I don't see anything wrong with it either, and of course it's not for everyone. But I don't look at it like a child or pet getting a prize. I just look at it as something to commemorate the birth... like a nice frame like Mel mentioned or the birthstone necklace (I actually really like that idea ... much better than a diamond bracelet). And who knows whether we'll do it or not.

kikidawn 4 years 29 weeks

I don't see anything wrong with it either, and of course it's not for everyone.But I don't look at it like a child or pet getting a prize. I just look at it as something to commemorate the birth... like a nice frame like Mel mentioned or the birthstone necklace (I actually really like that idea ... much better than a diamond bracelet). And who knows whether we'll do it or not.

Greggie 4 years 29 weeks

I don't see anything wrong with it for other people, I'm just very glad my husband and I are on the same page with it.

Mel475 4 years 29 weeks

My husband surprised me with a beautiful necklace that had the birthstone of our 1st child soon after his birth. It didn't lessen the moment at all for me and every time I wear it, I remember all the joy and excitement I felt in the first days after we had our son. It takes me back to that special time. I purchased a nice frame for my husband that says "Dad" across the bottom and put in the first picture taken of him with his son to give to him soon after the delivery. It holds a prominent spot on our mantel. I don't think it's a must for any new parent but I don't see anything wrong with it either.

Greggie 4 years 29 weeks

It's not a unique term. :) It's been in use at least 9 years, since it was the term we'd heard and used when discussing it while pregnant with our first.

Greggie 4 years 29 weeks

It's not a unique term. :) It's been in use at least 9 years, since it was the term we'd heard and used when discussing it while pregnant with our first.

POPSUGAR Moms 4 years 29 weeks

I love your term "pull present" babysugar. So clever:)

Greggie 4 years 29 weeks

I agree with Akpril. I don't want a present for it and I'd feel the same way if I got one. Thankfully my husband doesn't want one either. We had this discussion when we had our first and my SIL talked about the push and pull presents and how we HAD to do it.

Akpril 4 years 29 weeks

I'm not a fan of the "pull" or "push" present. I mean, isn't the gift that you have this great little child to raise and love? If my husband gave me a tennis bracelet or something after giving birth I think it would lessen the moment for me. Like I was a child or pet getting a prize. All I want is a nice letter from him, telling me he loves me and is excited for our little family.