Pregnancy Etiquette

Baby Bump: Etiquette for Pregnant Women

March 12, 2008

As a big city girl often does, I take public transportation to work every morning.

Yesterday, as I stood in the aisle holding onto the railing, a very pregnant woman came strolling along. Curious to see what would happen, I watched as a woman and a man both leaped to their feet and offered her their spots. Jumping inside with pride for humanity, I was pleased at their reaction. To see why, read more.

Too many times I have witnessed pregnant women having to stand on subways or buses, while other seated passengers ignored them. Cheers to those who keep chivalry alive and kicking.

While pregnant did you appreciate these small gestures?
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28 Comments

jambalam 4 years 35 weeks

This is exactly why chivalry should not be dead. It is hard to tell if a woman is pregnant when it is very early but the first trimester can be a really exhausting time and it is important for the health of both mother and baby not to be under too much stress so women should always be given seating preference for that reason alone. Any woman could be pregnant so peeople shouldn't feel self-conscious for offering. Plus there are the obvious other reasons that can make women very tired that don't affect men. Even though I look like a fit and healthy young woman I have a disease called disautonomia which makes my heart have to beat twice as fast as a normal person when standing up and because of it I had a mild heart attack in my early twenties. Despite this I always got up to give my seat to elderly or pregnant ladies. Now I am pregnant and have both things to deal with and because of my condition I am worried that too much standing could cause harm to the baby and it makes me very angry that men at work take up all the chairs and leave me to stand and direct me to do manual tasks that involve hours of standing. They know I am pregnant but think that because they are older than me (by a few years) they have seniority (even though I have more experience than them in most of the work).

jambalam 4 years 35 weeks

macneil 5 years 10 weeks

Oh yeah, appreciated it. Hardly ever happened. It's hard for people to see when you're not very big, and I think they're worried about insulting you - and early on in the pregnancy I fainted A LOT and had to squat on the floor of the underground, sweating. But when I was 7 months pregnant, admittedly still pretty small, I used to arch my back and hold the bump. Not because I thought I SHOULD be given a seat, but because I really thought I would keel over and puke if I didn't sit. People think pregnancy is just about the extra weight, but you're so tired, so faint, you have so much blood that your heart has to pump around, it's often really hard staying upright.

lorioz 5 years 10 weeks

My experience wasn't only with public transport. The other day I was in a store with my husband who was looking for a new laptop, while he was looking a sales clerk brought over a chair for me to sit in while my husband looked around and asked questions. They also turned the music down when they saw that it was making me more uncomfortable (beats make the baby kick like crazy). It was great to be taken care of!

kathleenie 5 years 10 weeks

Now that I am in the second trimester, people are sooo accommodating, but when I really needed it (in those sleepy, puky months) no one knew I was expecting.

citizenkane 5 years 10 weeks

I would kill my husband if he didn't give up his seat for a pregnant woman.

sofi 5 years 10 weeks

way to go LizL :WOOHOO: Love the power of the pregnancy hormones!!!

sofi 5 years 10 weeks

way to go LizL :WOOHOO: Love the power of the pregnancy hormones!!!

LizL 5 years 10 weeks

I am not that pregnant, but when I am forced to stand on the MBTA, I stand very close to someone sitting (usually a healthy looking man) so if he looked up, his nose would hit my belly. If you're not going to give me a seat, I will make you VERY uncomfortable.

LizL 5 years 10 weeks

sofi 5 years 10 weeks

Ericka- now that is insane! If I was directing that tour, I would have called out those out-of-touch people. In a hospital's maternity tour- that is pretty bad. They probably claim sympathy pregnancy, right ;)

Ericka 5 years 10 weeks

Yah that happened the other day when I went on one of those maternity tours in the hosiptal. There were 3 very pregnant women made to stand while women's spouses, friends, and just regular people took up all the seats in the lobby. One women had to go outside and sit on a bench finally because she was so tired from standing.

Ericka 5 years 10 weeks

nancita 5 years 10 weeks

I get so angry when I see people who won't give up their seats for pregnant women or people carrying babies. I mean, I like to sit down and read too, but I can't imagine how uncomfortable it must be to stand when pregnant or with a baby!

sofi 5 years 10 weeks

So nice when it happens, but not as often as it should. It's funny how people go out of their way to avoid eye contact as well because they feel a bit guilty. Chivalry shouldn't be dead and I, too, have encountered young men being chivalrous. That won't discourage me though from giving up my seat, opening doors, etc AND teaching my children to do it, too.

backfat 5 years 10 weeks

No one ever offers me a seat on the MBTA. Instead they sit at eye level with my bump and stare at it like it's full of spiders.

faerymagick15 5 years 10 weeks

I would appreciate that, of course...but I don't remember it ever happening to me while I was pregnant with either of my kids. I am happy to know my husband would be one of the first(if not the first) to do that though...he still opens doors for strangers all the time...men and women alike.

LiLRuck44 5 years 10 weeks

I agree fleurfairy. I think men should give up their seats for women. Some people are so immersed in their own lives to even notice, unfortunately.

peepshow 5 years 10 weeks

I was at the grocery store the other day (I'm 39 weeks pregnant, so I'd say it's pretty noticable) and a woman asked me to get a pack of bread on the bottom shelf for her. I looked at her like, Okay- hopefully you're not in any hurry!! It was strange b/c I was with my Bro-in-Law and she didn't ask him.

peepshow 5 years 10 weeks

jessy777 5 years 10 weeks

I hate people who won't give a seat to someone who needs it. Pregnant, elderly or injured. I always give up my seat to someone in need because I can stand and it won't kill me. Some people have no manners. I once witnessed a very pregnant woman laden with bags of groceries and no one at the front offered her a seat. After one stop I evacuated my seat and allowed her sit down, all the way in the back. I couldn't believe no one in her vicinity, at the front of the bus, would offer. Some people.

blackjade 5 years 10 weeks

I saw a woman once who ended up sitting on the floor of the BART - it wasn't sardine crowded but there weren't any open seats. There were 3 men sitting right near here - who had probably been sitting all day at work. I wanted to kick them all off of the train. But, on a happier note, most of the people I've seen give up their seats for pregnant woman have been young guys (teenagers). It makes me feel better about humanity. I'm just starting to show so we'll see what happens.

blackjade 5 years 10 weeks

I saw a woman once who ended up sitting on the floor of the BART - it wasn't sardine crowded but there weren't any open seats. There were 3 men sitting right near here - who had probably been sitting all day at work. I wanted to kick them all off of the train.But, on a happier note, most of the people I've seen give up their seats for pregnant woman have been young guys (teenagers). It makes me feel better about humanity. I'm just starting to show so we'll see what happens.

fleurfairy 5 years 10 weeks

It's nice to know people still do that, but I also think men should offer their seats to non-pregnant women as well. I don't think chivalry should be dead.

emilyeileen 5 years 10 weeks

In Chicago, they announce on CTA buses and trains that you should give up your seat to the elderly, people with disabilities, and expectant moms. While I was pregnant, people offered their seat to me maybe 10% of the time. I got in the habit of leaving earlier for work to beat the crowded buses. I guess 10% is better than 0...

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